January 05, 2007


Oh, looky!


I have my own rainbow!

Posted by Beth at 09:23 PM | Comments (0)

December 23, 2006


You Tube fun


Posted by Beth at 10:38 AM | Comments (0)

December 17, 2006


Oh, and don't forget . . .


Practice, Practice, Practice!

Posted by Beth at 06:41 PM | Comments (0)

November 30, 2006


I wonder who invented this?


LindaSog has found an interesting new product. You have to see it to believe it!

Posted by Beth at 12:06 PM | Comments (2)

November 22, 2006


test


test

Posted by Tammy at 10:15 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

November 16, 2006


This is really neat


Mentos and Diet Coke - bigger, better and wetter! CaltechGirl has the video!

Posted by Beth at 05:36 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

November 15, 2006


It's Raining Men!


Dean has an earworm. Now he has passed it on to me, and I'm passing it to you!!!

Posted by Beth at 07:58 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

November 10, 2006


I've been told I give good telephone


What American accent do you have?
Your Result: The Midland

"You have a Midland accent" is just another way of saying "you don't have an accent." You probably are from the Midland (Pennsylvania, southern Ohio, southern Indiana, southern Illinois, and Missouri) but then for all we know you could be from Florida or Charleston or one of those big southern cities like Atlanta or Dallas. You have a good voice for TV and radio.

The Inland North
Philadelphia
The South
The Northeast
North Central
The West
Boston
What American accent do you have?
Take More Quizzes

Posted by Beth at 11:16 AM | Comments (8)

October 30, 2006


Oh, how embarrassing


I am the Number 1 link on Google for stinky dog farts.

Please note that I am *not* the one who makes stinky dog farts - it's Houdini!!!!!

Posted by Beth at 06:09 PM

October 27, 2006


only partly true


I own pretty lacey bras, too, but I will admit that my everyday bra is cotton and comfy.

You Are a White Cotton Bra!
Practical, comfortable, and classic
You want your man to feel relaxed and himself with you
Your perfect guy is low maintenance and adaptable
And he makes you feel comfy and cozy too!
What Kind of Bra Are You?

This silly quiz was found at Fuzzybear's lair.

Posted by Beth at 08:45 PM

October 16, 2006


I think I'm more balanced than this indicates.


You Are 30% Left Brained, 70% Right Brained
The left side of your brain controls verbal ability, attention to detail, and reasoning.
Left brained people are good at communication and persuading others.
If you're left brained, you are likely good at math and logic.
Your left brain prefers dogs, reading, and quiet.

The right side of your brain is all about creativity and flexibility.
Daring and intuitive, right brained people see the world in their unique way.
If you're right brained, you likely have a talent for creative writing and art.
Your right brain prefers day dreaming, philosophy, and sports.


I got this from Ala!

Posted by Beth at 12:17 PM

October 04, 2006


google gadget?


Posted by Beth at 09:07 PM

September 07, 2006


Boobie BLogging


In the Cotillion email group, we have been discussing Boobie Blogging - certain political vlogs where the expose' is not from the hard hitting politcal analysis, but from the dress (or lack thereof) of the vlogger.

Somewhere in the discussion, CalTechGirl sent us all a link to get our boobs named.

So, from now on, my boobs are named:

Your Boobies' Names Are...
Abercrombie & Fitch
Boobie Name Generator

Posted by Beth at 07:43 AM

September 02, 2006


Chocolate is your friend


Free Chocolate.

Need I say more? well, I suppose I should. It's an advertising thingie from Nestle to promote a new baking chocolate. Looks interesting. And it's a way to get free chocolate.

Posted by Beth at 10:31 AM


If you want a good laugh


Go to Overheard in New York

Here is an example:

And, Besides, I'm Chicken

Man: I just don't get it! Just last night you were complaining about how you never try anything new, but you feel like you should.
Woman: Ok, well ordering the roast duck is a little different than a threesome, Tim.

--13th & 3rd

Overheard by: Todd B


via Overheard in New York, Sep 1, 2006

Posted by Beth at 09:27 AM

August 20, 2006


I think this might be a new exercise fad


And if they offered classes, I'd sign up, just because it looks like so much fun!

Here it is ... The Treadmill Dance!!!!!


Linda tipped me off!

Posted by Beth at 07:54 AM

August 18, 2006


Hmmm


I don't know what this says about my blog, but I'm #1 on Google for how do men pee.

Posted by Beth at 03:42 PM

July 20, 2006


Web Games I like to play


Sometimes, I get rather frustrated and need something to take my mind off of things. There are several Web Games that can become rather addicting.

Bookworm is very satisfying. I love to see the points add up. However, I think that it is a little too easy. I have managed to get more than 3 million points before losing, and I'm really not that good.

Weboggle is fun to play if you just have a few minutes, because the games are three minutes long. However, a lot of words in the WEBoggle dictionary are in no other dictionary on earth - so it is a little bogus.

And then there is Scribble. A 'cooperative' web-based scrabble game. I enjoy playing it, however, the regulars there want everyone to play it exactly the way they tell you to - so they can get the big point words - not that it matters, since there is absolutly no tracking of who gets what score - it's the total score for each game that seems to be of import.

If you go to Scribble, ignore the nasty comments in the chat and stay away from the message boards. I am called a 'troll' because I'm not as smart as they are, I guess - or really, I am as smart, but they don't like it if anyone makes a mistake. The game has expert boards for those people, and I do not try to play the expert boards, but they follow me around the regular scribble boards and can be quite rude. In fact, they have labelled me a troll, so know, when I do play there, I go by troll/beth. It's a challenging, non-competitive game, but beware - they are not nice to newcomers!!!

I should really quit playing these games. They are incredible time wasters, and I coule probably get the house clean in a day if I would stop going to them.

Posted by Beth at 08:42 AM

June 15, 2006


One more thing


I just love the current crop of Tractor Supply commercials. They really crack me up. Click here and pick the commercial you want to watch.

The timing is great.

Posted by Beth at 06:05 AM


Beware the Ides of June!


It's June 15th. I have no idea if the Ides of June have ever resulted in backstabbing, but just watch out.

Actually, I am just hiding from the world right now. Don't feel like doing anything after or before work. Work is kind of getting me down. Every so often, I get in a work funk. It takes me a few months to start liking it again. I'm just really tired of people expecting me to be available 24x7 when I'm putting in 50 to 60 hour work weeks to begin with.

So I'm grumpy, and beware the ides of June!

Posted by Beth at 05:58 AM

June 04, 2006


Heh


You Are Oscar the Grouch
Grumpy and grouchy, you aren't just pessimistic. You revel in your pessimism.

You are usually feeling: Unhappy. Unless it's rainy outside, and even then you know the foul weather won't last.

You are famous for: Being mean yet loveable. And you hate the loveable part.

How you life your life: As a slob. But it's not repelling as many people as you'd like!
The Sesame Street Personality Quiz

Snagged from CaltechGirl!

Posted by Beth at 01:36 PM

May 29, 2006


This is *so* me!




Posted by Beth at 06:21 AM

May 05, 2006


Llamas are nice - but those Elk!


This is not work safe in any environment except perhaps a zoo.

Posted by Beth at 03:26 PM

April 29, 2006


Ha ha hee hee, chuckle, snort


Can you believe I am number 2 for X-Rated blog on Google?

Site Meter is so much fun to play with when I should be painting the kitchen!

Posted by Beth at 03:17 PM

April 27, 2006


Finally!!!


LeeAnn is back blogging! Apparently she started a few weeks ago, but she sure as heck didn't let me know! And I've been a fan of hers for years! Years, I say!

The Cheese Stands Alone. One of my very favorite blogs - only this time, no comments, but that's okay. I still have her email address. I can bug her that way.

Welcome back, LeeAnn!!

And I agree with her completely when it comes to immigration.

Posted by Beth at 07:12 PM

April 01, 2006


I'm going to be busy today


So check out these links:

Here.
oh, and here.
Can't miss this one. I love gadgets!
Just before John went to Korea, I bought him a new watch - he is going to be so disappointed that we did not see this one first.

Posted by Beth at 06:29 AM


Remember what today is!


And go check out this hot new site - click all the links!

Posted by Beth at 05:27 AM

March 24, 2006


Important Investment Information


Bwaahahahaha:

I never tire of email like this:

Hello,

I plead for your tolerance, of not having the pleasure of knowing your mindset before sending you this letter. I'm Mr. Joseph Addo; the operational head of Agricultural Development Loan Scheme of the Agricultural Development Bank, Accra, Ghana. The aforementioned scheme sees to the proper distribution of grants to our local farmers for better agricultural development in the country.

Early last year our government (Ghana) awarded a substantial amount of money to mechanize our local farm, which the scheme i head in my organization operates. And i was able to lodge the exact amount of $2.6M to an Escrow Call Account in our Bank without any beneficiary.

In a nutshell, i would need you to be the beneficiary of the stated account and stand claim of the money, and then transfer the money into any of your account outside Africa.

Please note importantly, that this is a very discreet project that must be kept confidential. And i would not be known to be part of the transfer, because i still head the scheme and i'm about to oversee another loan granting operation for the principal beneficiaries in the coming month.

So please email me immediately you received this letter on dd_jsph1@hotmail.com; but only when you are very interested.


Yours Truly,
Joseph Addo.


Posted by Beth at 06:17 AM


Heh


Shamelessly lifted from an email from Barb
For all of us who have ever worked at any level of tech support stuff:

Calling me with a question --- $10

Calling me with a stupid question -- $20

Calling me with a stupid question you can't quite articulate - $30

Implying I'm incompetent because I can't interpret your inarticulate problem description - $1000 + punitive damages

Questions received via phone without first trying help desk - $10.00

Questions where answer is in TFM - $100.00

Calling me back with the same problem *after* I fix it once - $100

Insisting that you're not breaking the software, the problem is on my end somehow - $200

Asking me to walk over to your building to fix the problem - $5/step

Asking me to drive to another town to fix your problem - $50/mile + gas

If you interrupt me while I was trying to actually fix somebody else's problem - $45/hr

If you try to hang around and get me to fix it now - $50/hr

If you expect me to tell you how I fixed it - $60/hr

If you've come to ask me why something isn't working that I'm currently working on - $70/hr

If you're asking me to fix something I fixed for you yesterday - $75/hr

If you're asking me to fix something I told you I fixed yesterday, but never did fix - $85/hr

If you're asking me to fix a quick patch that I made that didn't work - $95/hr

If you're bugging me while there's another admin in the room who could have done it for you - $150/hr

Making me trek to your office to fix your problem then leaving immediately after hanging up the phone - $1500.00

Calling up with a problem which "everybody" in the office is having and which is "stopping all work." Not being there when I rush over to look at it and nobody else in the office knows anything about it. - $1700.00

Explaining a problem for 1/2 hour over the phone BEFORE mentioning it's your personal machine at home - $500.00

Self-diagnosing your problem and informing me what to do - $150.00

Having me bail you out when you perform your own repairs I told you not to do - $300.00

Not telling all of your co-workers about it - $850.00

Figuring out you mean floppy drive when you say hard drive - $50.00-- AFTER
I order your replacement hard drive - $250.00

Fixing your "broken" mouse with a mouse pad - $25.00

Fixing your "broken" optical mouse by rotating the mouse pad 90 degrees - $35.00

Fixing a "broken" mouse by cleaning the rollers - $50.00

Fixing your "broken" printer with an ink/toner cartridge - $35.00

Fixing your "broken" ANYTHING with the power button - $250.00

Fixing the "crashed" system by turning the external disk back on - $200.00

Fixing the "hung" system by plugging the Ethernet transceiver back in - $375.00

Fixing the crashed name server by plugging back in the SCSI cord someone
accidentally yanked out on Friday afternoon when the 'real' sysadmin has
just left for a two week vacation - $400

Visiting your old university and fixing the broken PC by plugging the monitor
lead back in - $50

Explaining that you can't log in to some server because you don't have an
account there - $10

Explaining that you don't have an account on the machine you used to have
an account on because you used it to try to break into the above server - $500

Forgetting your password after it was tattooed on your index finger - $25

Changing memory partitions without informing me first - $50

Installing programs without informing me /getting permission first - $100
per program

Technical support for the above programs - $150 per hour (regardless of
whether I know the program or not)

Spilling coke on keyboard - $25 plus cost of keyboard

Spilling coke on monitor - $50 plus cost of monitor

Spilling coke on CPU - $200 plus cost of motherboard swap plus hourly rate
of $150 per hour spent reinstalling the system

Leaving files on desktop - $5 per file, $10 per day the file is left unclaimed

Bringing in your own copy of the original Norton Utilities v1.0 to fix a
brand new machine - $200

Chewing on the end of the graphic tablet stylus - $25

Putting feet up next to workstation after ten mile jog through NYC streets
- $50

Spending 30 minutes trying to figure out what your problem is, and another
5 explaining how to verify and fix it, only to hear you say... "So that's
what the little box that popped up on my screen was telling me to do!" - $400

Listening to your network troubles, suggesting that you check to see if you
are plugged into the network jack, hearing yes, trying five other things,
asking you to identify your plug type, listening to you drag furniture,
and hearing a sheepish, "Oops. Never mind." - $35 (including discount for
polite apology)

Dealing with tech support requests for obviously pirated software - $25

Dealing with "How can I get another copy of [obviously pirated software]? Mine
just died." requests - $45

Having to use the "We're really not the best people to talk to about that; why
don't you try calling the number on the box in which you bought it?" line - $55

Actually needing to explain copyright law to you after you failed to get
the hint in the previous response - $95

Having to point out anything that's on the wall in a typeface larger than
18 points - $15

If I wrote the sign - $45

If it's in a 144 point font and taped to the side of the monitor facing the
door - $75

Reporting slow connection by passenger pigeon packets to MPEG archive in
Outer Slobavia as a Mosaic/Netscape/Gopher/FTP client problem - $25.00

Reporting it more than once - $50.00

Reporting it more than once and implying slothfulness on tech support's
inability to solve problem - $200.00

Beeper Prices:

Beeping me when I'm out with the significant other - $50

Beeping me when I'm out of town and I took pains to insure that help files
were left all over and that diagnostics had been run on all machines before
I left - $100

Beeping me more than once to tell me that the printer's offline and the fix
is to press the On Line button - $200

Beeping me more than once while I'm asleep - $50 per beep

Beeping me and not identifying yourself within the first 5 seconds - $25

Beeping me and then changing your story / denying you placed the call /
hoped I would forget who caused the problem - $500

Special Rates:

Dealing with user body odour - $75.00/hour

Dealing with user not familiar with the primary language spoken at site -
$50.00/hour

Dealing with user who is (self-proclaimed) smarter than you are, but still
calls every other day for help - $100.00/hour

Dealing with computer hobbyists - $125.00/hour

Questioning the other prices -- $50

Posted by Beth at 06:11 AM

February 23, 2006


Stole most of this from the Queen


How To Take A Shower

Like a Woman:

Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.

Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.

Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

Wash your hair ! again to make sure it's clean.

Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.

Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.

Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

Rinse conditioner off hair.

Shave armpits and legs.

Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.

Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

Like a Man:

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.

Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener #82 at her making the 'woo-hoo' sound.

Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your wiener #82 and scratch your ass.

Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits.

Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.

Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Pee.

Rinse off and get out of shower.

Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.

Admire wiener size #82 in mirror again.

Leave shower curtain ! open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.

Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-hoo' sound again.

Throw wet towel on bed.

For those of you who are wondering about #82, go here

Posted by Beth at 05:36 AM

February 22, 2006


TV Commercials


So, I'm sitting here in my hotel room, watching a bit of TV whilst checking out my blogroll, and first I see that annoying Lean Cuisine commercial - where several women are at a skating rink watching a couple of great skaters and then sadly discussing what they had for dinner the night before, and then the woman with the sultry voice describes her lean cuisine dinner - and then, there was a Lunesta commercial - and I realized that it was the exact same voice of the woman with the good dinner.

Very annoying!!!!

Posted by Beth at 09:14 PM

February 19, 2006


Got tagged


My friend, Ala, tagged me with a new meme.

1: Black and White or Color; how do you prefer your movies?

Color, color, color. I hate black and white movies!

2: What is the one single subject that bores you to near-death?

sports.

3: MP3s, CDs, Tapes or Records: what is your favorite medium for prerecorded music?

Umm - none - I like XM Radio.

4: You are handed one first class trip plane ticket to anywhere in the world and ten million dollars cash. All of this is yours provided that you leave and not tell anyone where you are going ... ever. This includes family, friends, everyone. Would you take the money and ticket and run?

Hmmm - well, tell means:
To give a detailed account of; narrate: tell what happened; told us a story.
To communicate by speech or writing; express with words: tell the truth; tell one's love.
To make known; reveal: tell a secret; tell fortunes.
To notify; inform.
To inform positively; assure: I tell you, the plan will work.
To give instructions to; direct: told the customers to wait in line.
To discover by observation; discern: could tell that he was upset.
To name or number one by one; count: telling one's blessings; 16 windows, all told.

So, I think I would not 'tell' John or Andy (and his girlfriend, Ashes) a thing - I'd just pack up their suitcases and drag them with me to Rome, Vienna, Lisbon, Ireland, Scotland, Denmark and Poland. I would never let it slip, believe me!

5: Seriously, what do you consider the world's most pressing issue now?

Terrorism.

6: How would you rectify the world's most pressing issue?

Fight the terrorists where they are.

7: You are given the chance to go back and change one thing in your life; what would that be?

I would have majored in biology and gone on to become a D.V.M.

8: You are given the chance to go back and change one event in world history, what would that be?

Mohammed would never have been born.

9: A night at the opera, or a night at the Grand Ole' Opry --Which do you choose?

Umm, I'll pass.

10: What is the one great unsolved crime of all time you'd like to solve?

Who stole the cookies from the cookie, cookie jar!

11: One famous author can come to dinner with you. Who would that be, and what would you serve for the meal?

That's a tough one. Arthur Conan Doyle and I'd serve Ribeye steaks, baked potatoes, sauteed mushrooms and onions and a nice salad with some good wine.

12: You discover that John Lennon was right, that there is no hell below us, and above us there is only sky -- what's the first immoral thing you might do to celebrate this fact?

I would not celebrate at all. Probably just go and get drunk or something.

Oh, gosh, I'm supposed to tag someone, aren't I? How about Pamibe and Barb and John and soon to be First Sergeant ,Keith?

Posted by Beth at 11:24 AM

February 14, 2006


Warning, Warning


This links is *not* worksafe, but it is funny, but if you are at all prudish, you must not look at this link. You must not even look at the URL.

But for people with a sense of sexy humour , here is the link!

Posted by Beth at 08:11 PM

February 10, 2006


Giggle


This is a funny video - best rap song yet!

Posted by Beth at 06:37 AM

January 31, 2006


A meme a day ...


FBL tagged me. So here we go:

4 Jobs You Have Had In Your Life
This is a tough question. I have had a *lot* of jobs in my life. More than most, I believe. Where on earth do I start?

1. Right out of college, I worked for the Missouri Division of Family Services. After a happy year or so of working with elderly folks, I was forced into the Child Protective Services department because our then governor of Missouri, Kit Bond, wanted to make some political hay by putting children first. Don't get me wrong, the State of Missouri was not watching out for abused and neglected children, and Bond did was needed to be done. I just didn't really want to do that. I was happy working with my old folks, even though one or two of the old men were a little on the forgetful side (I'll never forget Seymour - he would answer his door with his weenie hanging out, and then at least pretend to be embarrassed when I pointed it out).
Working with abused and neglected children was awful. My supervisor was awful, my caseload was horrendous and I quit the day that a crazy lady who refused to let her kids go to school because she was a paranoid schizophrenic and was convinced that all the teachers had sex with the children (though looking at it now, perhaps she wasn't too far wrong) got out a kitchen knife and threatened my life.

2. The day after I quit that job, I went to the local offices of Quik Trip Corporation. Right after quitting the job from hell, I had to convince the interviewer that a woman was indeed tough enough and strong enough to unload trucks, fend off evil doers and balance the books of a convenience store.
I was their first woman hired to work in one of the stores. I was their first woman manager. It was interesting, but they paid quite well for those days, so I put up with the odd stuff. I was flashed numerous times - one guy hid his penis under about 4 or 5 girlie magazines he had put on the counter, and as I was ringing them up, I realized what was going on, picked up a large (huge) wrench and suggested he be on his way. If nothing else, that job provided me with a lot of very bizarre true stories about convenience stores and the people who hang out at them - and yes, there are convenience store groupies.

3. I sold waterbeds for several years. Once again, I was the only woman. Back in the '70s, there were all sorts of misconceptions about women and what we are capable of doing. I got fired from that job by a cocaine sniffing idiot district supervisor. I remember his name was Chuck. About a year later, they fired his ass and they hired me back. I was a manager of one their stores for awhile, but then I got demoted because the guys didn't like doing what a woman asked them to do. I was deemed too bitchy.

4. After being a stay at home mom with Andy, I ended up divorced. I made ends meet by cleaning houses. Oh. My. You learn a lot about people when you clean their house. That's one reason I hesitate to have anyone come and clean my house now. Anyway, as you know now, I have a really interesting job doing technical stuff and I travel all over the place.

4 Movies You Would Watch Over and Over

1. The Princess Bride

2. Monty Python's Holy Grail

3. Any Harry Potter movie.

4. Animal House.

4 Places You Have Lived

1. Creve Coeur, Missouri

2. Kansas City, Missouri

3. Olathe, Kansas

4. Leavenworth, Kansas

4 TV Shows You Love to Watch

1. CSI Las Vegas.

2. Without A Trace.

3. House

4. NCIS

4 Places You Have Been On Vacation

1. Arizona - Grand Canyon, beautiful Flagstaff, ruins, cool stuff in a hot place.

2. Salisbury, UK. My first trip overseas.

3. Las Vegas, Nevada. Bestest restaurants and shows. Oh, but wait, New Orleans has had great restaurants.

4. San Diego, California. Got to meet lotsa bloggers there!

4 Websites You Visit Daily

1. Day by Day

2. Argghhh!!

3. Ebay

4. Google


4 Favorite Foods

1. Cheese Blintzes with Strawberry preserves, sour cream and a side order of link sausages.

2. Eggs Benedict (only instead of the ham, spinach and artichokes and cheese)

3. Rib eye steak.

4. At the moment, I'm on a sweet potato kick. Go figure.


4 Places You Would Rather Be Right Now

1. Riding one of my horses in the mountains, only in the summer, not in January!

2. Touring Europe.

3. In a pottery class.

4. In bed with John!

4 People to Tag

1. AFSis (via Argghhh!)

2. Pam

3. Triticale

4. Punctilious

Posted by Beth at 08:27 AM

November 21, 2005


If only ...


HASH(0x8b687f0)
The Fairy Princess

You are youthful, cheery, and exuberant with a
sunny disposition and a mischievous sense of
humor. You are very lively and are always up
for a good bit of fun. You have a deep love of
nature and animals.

Role Model: Titania

You are most likely to: Convert a pumpkin into a
useful mode of transportation.


What Kind of Princess are You? - Beautiful Artwork (Original Music is BACK!!!)
brought to you by Quizilla


Thanks to CalTechGirl !

The woman always finds fun stuff.

Posted by Beth at 02:34 PM

November 03, 2005


heh



Synthetic Wireless Worldwide Battle Organism

Posted by Beth at 01:10 PM

October 26, 2005


I'm a cartoon character.


Today, I did more training. With some different people but for the same client.
I discovered, to my great dismay, that everyone who works for this client is just downright rude.

I was constantly interrupted by the people I was attempting to teach - and these were interruptions that had absolutely nothing to do with the subject - sometime they would just talk amoung themselves about whatever, and I had to ask them to focus several time.

It was a very harrying day.

When I was getting ready to walk back to the hotel, I made a stop in the ladies room to wash my hands and brush my hair.

There were two other women 'freshening up' at the same time - I saw them - perfectly coiffed hair, mucho makeup, trim little wool skirt and jacket kinda suits and highheeled shoes, and I thought, gee, those older women look nice.

Then I looked at my more funky-looking self in the mirror - I could see both women via the same mirror - and I realized that I look like a cartoon next to those women.

I also suddenly realized that chances are, I am older than the two of them.

It was just kinda odd, but my features are plain, and I don't use make up, so I'm a pretty boring looking woman. And they kinda looked like graying Barbie Dolls.

Posted by Beth at 08:43 PM

October 24, 2005


Heh



My blog is worth $242,187.66.
How much is your blog worth?

Thank you, Punctilious!

Posted by Beth at 05:12 PM

October 19, 2005


This was somewhat embarrassing


Today I decided to wear a dress to work. I put it on, looked in the mirror and my pale white legs just look too white here in Florida, so I put on a pair of control top panty hose.

As it happens, I spent most of my day sitting down, setting up some software and teaching my client how to use it all.

When I finally stood up to leave (everyone else in the IT office was gone already), I could tell that my panty hose had slipped down a little - but not a lot, I was sure I could make it through the hospital and to the car with no problem.

Boy, was that a dumb thing to think.

This is a very large place - I was walking through the hallways and was nearly at the main lobby when I could tell my pany hose were slipping - quickly.

Every step I took forced the damned panty hose to fall down farther.

Before I knew it, they were at my knees.

Yes. At. My. Knees.

The waist of the pantyhose was at my knees.

Fortunately, I had a dress on that hits me at mid-calf.

I stopped walking - I looked around - the closest ladies room was about a block away from where I stood (told you this is a big, big place).

There was a chair about 10 feet away - I shuffled over to the chair - in the humongous lobby - and attempted to surreptitiously pull the panty hose up - but I realized that was impossible.

So I finally just took off my shoes and pulled them off.

In front of the world.

Fortunatly, no one said anything to me.

Geeze, I hate panty hose - especially the so-called Control Top types.

Posted by Beth at 06:25 PM


More on ear worms


Well, I got rid of the Beach Boys Kosomo and now I have Let's Dance by David Bowie stuck in my head.

I am absolutely positive that there was a time in my life when I did not have some song playing over and over in my head, but I almost don't remember when that was!

Posted by Beth at 06:10 PM


Good news and bad news


The good news is that the Freda Payne earworm that's been bugging me for a week is gone.


The bad news is that it has been replaced by the Beach Boys - Kokomo.

Posted by Beth at 04:30 AM

October 18, 2005


Amazing Storm!


okay, go to LoneStar Times and click on the Wilma hyperlink. Finish drinking your coffee before you click.

Posted by Beth at 07:14 PM

October 15, 2005


Appropriate, I think


chef jpeg
You are the the Swedish Chef.
You are a talented individual, nobody understands
you. Perhaps it's because you talk funny.

FAVORITE EXPRESSION:
"Brk! Brk! Brk!"
HOBBIES:
Kokin' der yummee-yummers

FAVORITE MOVIE:
"Wild Strawberries...and Creme"

LAST BOOK READ:
"Der Swedish Chef Kokin' Bokin'"

QUOTE:
"Vergoofin der flicke stoobin mit der brk-brk
yubetcha!"


What Muppet are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


Got this one from Ala who found it at my handsome husband's blog!

Posted by Beth at 10:05 AM

September 01, 2005


And now, a break from regular programming


This is Puntilious's fault. Well, and John's, too.

1) Go to musicoutfitters.com and, in the search box provided, enter the year you graduated high school.

2) From the search results, click the link for the top 100 songs of that year.

3) With the resulting list:
a) bold the songs you like,
b) strike through the ones you hate
c) underline your favorite
d) and ignore the ones you don't remember or don't care about.

Go figure out the year for yourself
And yes, I know I picked two favorites - Actually that was a pretty good year for music - there were some great songs back then!

1. Joy To The World, Three Dog Night
2. Maggie May / (Find A) Reason To Believe, Rod Stewart
3. It's Too Late / I Feel The Earth Move, Carole King
4. One Bad Apple, Osmonds
5. How Can You Mend A Broken Heart, Bee Gees
6. Indian Reservation, Raiders
7. Go Away Little Girl, Donny Osmond
8. Take Me Home, Country Roads, John Denver
9. Just My Imagination (Running Away With Me), Temptations
10. Knock Three Times, Pawn
11. Me And Bobby Mcgee, Janis Joplin
12. Tired Of Being Alone, Al Green
13. Want Ads, Honey Cone
14. Smiling Faces Sometimes, Undisputed Truth
15. Treat Her Like A Lady, Cornelius Brothers and Sister Rose
16. You've Got A Friend, James Taylor
17. Mr. Big Stuff, Jean Knight
18. Brown Sugar, Rolling Stones
19. Do You Know What I Mean, Lee Michaels
20. The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down, Joan Baez
21. What's Going On, Marvin Gaye
22. Uncle Albert-Admiral Halsey, Paul McCartney
23. Aint No Sunshine, Bill Withers
24. Signs, Five Man Electrical Band
25. She's A Lady, Tom Jones
26. Superstar, Murray Head and The Trinidad Singers
27. I Found Someone Of My Own, Free Movement
28. Amos Moses, Jerry Reed
29. Temptation Eyes, The Grass Roots
30. Superstar, Carpenters
31. My Sweet Lord / Isn't It A Pity, George Harrison
32. Sweet And Innocent, Donny Osmond
33. Put Your Hand In The Hand, Ocean
34. Chick-a-boom, Daddy Dewdrop
35. For All We Know, Carpenters
36. Help Me Make It Through The Night, Sammi Smith
37. Rainy Days And Mondays, Carpenters
38. If You Could Read My Mind, Gordon Lightfoot
39. Gypsy, Tramps And Thieves, Cher
40. Never Can Say Goodbye, Jackson 5
41. Rose Garden, Lynn Anderson
42. Don't Pull Your Love, Hamilton, Joe Frank and Reynolds
43. It Don't Come Easy, Ringo Starr
44. Mr. Bojangles, Nitty Gritty Dirt Band
45. I Love You For All Seasons, Fuzz
46. Whatcha See Is Whatcha Get, Dramatics
47. That's The Way I've Always Heard It Should Be, Carly Simon
48. If You Really Love Me, Stevie Wonder
49. Spanish Harlem, Aretha Franklin
50. I Don't Know How To Love Him, Helen Reddy
51. Yo-yo, Osmonds
52. Bridge Over Troubled Water, Aretha Franklin
53. Doesn't Somebody Want To Be Wanted, Partridge Family
54. Draggin' The Line, Tommy James
55. Proud Mary, Ike and Tina Turner
56. Beginnings / Color My World, Chicago
57. Stay Awhile, Bells
58. Sweet City Woman, Stampeders
59. Me And You And A Dog Named Boo, Lobo
60. Another Day / Oh Woman, Oh Why, Paul McCartney
61. If, Bread
62. Mercy Mercy Me (The Ecology), Marvin Gaye
63. One Toke Over The Line, Brewer and Shipley
64. She's Not Just Another Woman, 8th Day
65. Bring The Boys Home, Freda Payne
66. I Just Want To Celebrate, Rare Earth
67. Never Ending Song Of Love, Delaney and Bonnie and Friends
68. Easy Loving, Freddy Hart
69. Liar, Three Dog Night
70. Stick-up, Honey Cone
71. Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep, Mac and Katie Kissoon
72. Love Story (Where Do I Begin), Andy Williams
73. Wild World, Cat Stevens
74. When You're Hot, You're Hot, Jerry Reed
75. Funky Nassau, Beginning Of The End
76. If Not For You, Olivia Newton-John
77. Groove Me, King Floyd
78. Watcmng Scoity Grow, Bobby Goldsboro
79. Woodstock, Matthews' Southern Comfort
80. Amazing Grace, Judy Collins
81. I Hear You Knocking, Dave Edmunds
82. Lonely Days, Bee Gees
83. Here Comes That Rainy Day Feeling Again, Fortunes
84. Won't Get Fooled Again, Who
85. Trapped By A Thing Called Love, Denise Lasalle
86. Mama's Pearl, Jackson 5
87. Timothy, Buoys
88. I Woke Up In Love This Morning, Partridge Family
89. Theme From "Shaft", Isaac Hayes
90. If I Were Your Woman, Gladys Knight and The Pips
91. I Am...I Said, Neil Diamond
92. Wedding Song (There Is Love), Paul Stookey
93. Don't Knock My Love, Pt. 1, Wilson Pickett
94. Love Her Madly, The Doors
95. Here Comes The Sun, Richie Havens
96. Sweet Mary, Wadsworth Mansion
97. Right On The Tip Of My Tongue, Brenda and The Tabulations
98. One Less Bell To Answer, Fifth Dimension
99. Riders On The Storm, The Doors
100. It's Impossible, Perry Como

Posted by Beth at 08:55 AM

August 18, 2005


Vanity License Plates


AFSister has a list of vanity license plates for you to figure out.

Here is a small example: IML8 IML8


I have to be honest, I have a hard time figuring out some plates, but maybe you can do better.

(I am also congenitally unable to see pictures within Magic Eye pictures - John teases me unmercifully about that. I tend to think that Magic Eye pictures are a conspiracy that a lot of you are in on just to make me look stupid)

Posted by Beth at 07:32 AM

August 15, 2005


Oh, how I love LeeAnn's Blog!


The Cheese Mistress is back (sorry I didn't notice until today) and she actually made me laugh on a Monday!

Go and enjoy.

Posted by Beth at 07:25 AM

August 10, 2005


Better be nice to me!


Because I am - He Who Shall Not Be Named!!
Pirate Monkey's Harry Potter Personality Quiz
Harry Potter Personality Quiz
by Pirate Monkeys Inc.

Darn you, Rosemary, for this one!!

Posted by Beth at 02:08 PM

August 09, 2005


Numerology is silly.




Your Birthdate: March 12
Being born on the 12th day of the month (3 energy) is likely to add a good bit of vitality to your life.

The energy of 3 allows you bounce back rapidly from setbacks, physical or mental.

There is a restlessness in your nature, but you seem to be able to portray an easygoing, sometimes "couldn't care less" attitude.

You have a natural ability to express yourself in public, and you always make a very good impression.

Good with words, you excel in writing, speaking, and possibly singing.

You are energetic and always a good conversationalist.

You have a keen imagination, but you tend to scatter your energies and become involved with too may superficial matters.

Your mind is practical and rational despite this tendency to jump about.

You are affectionate and loving - but very sensitive.

You are subject to rapid ups and downs.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Snagged this from Pam.

Posted by Beth at 03:23 PM

August 03, 2005


Very silly


This is all Ala's fault - she looks like Barbie - I look like a middle-aged Midge - anyone remember Midge?

Take the quiz: "Which Barbie Are You?"

Geek Barbie
Hair up, glasses, and an IQ of 159. You design rockets for a living and run a server cluster in your living room. You speak 4 languages fluently but you spend most of your time speaking middle english in a role playing game online. You eat hotpockets and drink anything with caffeine and sugar.

Posted by Beth at 08:37 PM

July 17, 2005


My past catches up with me


I am 29% Hippie.
Wanna Be Hippie!
I need to step away from the tie-dye. I smell too good to be a hippie and my dad is probably a cop. Being a hippie is not a fashion craze, man. It was a way of life, in the 60’s, man.
Take the
Hippie Test
@ FualiDotCom

Thanks to Barb for the link to the test!

Posted by Beth at 11:41 AM

July 13, 2005


I'm a bit of a nerd, but ...


I am nerdier than 98% of all people. Are you nerdier? Click here to find out!

This seems a bit extreme.

I have never played Dungeons and Dragons, for one!

Thank you, Barb!

UPDATE: I corrected my spelling error - I typed in Dragors instead of Dragons -

Posted by Beth at 01:06 PM

June 27, 2005


For once, someone wants to know about ME!!!


Take the MIT Weblog Survey

Got this from Allan, who always has something cool on his blog.

Posted by Beth at 05:51 PM

June 18, 2005


I got tagged


Beautiful Ala tagged me with this meme: "Five things society at large enjoys, but that I, for the most part, just don't get..."

My first thought was - only five? I mean, really, let's face it, John and I are not exactly the couple that fits in everywhere.

So, anyway, here are my five thingies.

1. The raising of the children - too many Americans seem to believe that children should be in daycare, and if old enough to go to school, should be scheduled within an inch of their lives for ballet, soccer, baseball, and other properly arranged group activities. Planned, supervised activities day in and day out. . . I can see maybe one or two activities sprinkled lightly through childhood, but too many moms spend every spare minute getting their kids to the next planned activity.

I believe that children should be able to be happy by themselves, without planned activities. Kids should be able to sit and do nothing, or read or create by themselves, or hang out with neighborhood friends playing games or riding bikes without a grown up watching them every second. It makes them self-reliant. Let kids use their imaginations - build forts, treehouses and chase fireflies.

Oh, gosh, I could go on forever on that one, so I better stop now and go on to number 2.

2. Pro Sports. I don't get it. How pitiful (to me) are those people whose week is made or ruined depending on how their football, baseball, soccer, hockey or whatever their team does? People actually get in fights over games. How bizzarre!

3. Home Owners Associations. I have lived under the heavy hand of a Home Owners' Association in the past. What hell. Approval was needed for the color of paint I wanted my house. If my garage door was open for more than 5 minutes, neighbors would be on the phone bitching at me. Only certain varietes of trees andl/or shrubs and flowers were approved. It was like being absorbed by the Borg, for goodness sake!
I am very happy to live in Leavenworth, Kansas now. We don't have to get approval to plant a shrub or build a front yard garden pond. I can be as eclectic as I want to be.

4. Fashion. Anyone who has met me knows that I am definitely not a slave to fashion. In fact, I'm almost anti-fashion. Many designers design only for anorexic women with boy-like figures. Many designers are gay men who are really designing for boys, but that's another gripe. When those fashions, designed for a straight up and down figure, are created in normal women sizes, the result is not pretty. And if you are as chubby as I am, it's downright awful. And the money people spend to have the 'latest' outfit each season is astounding. Unless, of course, you are talking about shoes. That, I can understand.

5. Cell Phones. I'll get in trouble over this one. I have a cell phone, I only use it when traveling, and then only when I am not in a car, a plane, a train or any other conveyance. But what really gripes me is that people are under the utterly mistaken impression that if they are talking on a cell phone in a public place, that their conversation is private. All the while, they are talking rather loudly about the size of their boyfriend's ummm, dangly thing. Or the type of positions they attempted the night before. These idiots don't care if there are children within listening distance. In fact, they will glare at you if you raise an eyebrow at the inappropriatness of their very public discussion.

Personally, I don't want to be available 24x7. That's why my cell phone is most turned to the off position. I'm a rebel, ain't I?


Well, it seems that, this being a meme thing, I should tag some others. Let's see.

I'll try for Eric and Tammi and Barb and John and Rosemary.

Posted by Beth at 07:30 PM

June 07, 2005


80s Music Quiz


Who can resist doing this?

Not me - but it will take me awhile!

And my results are:


Posted by Beth at 03:45 PM

May 30, 2005


Crazy Frog thing


I've been trying desperately to catch up with reading my favorite blogs this weekend. I should be doing all kinds of other stuff, but this is more fun and less work.

The Cheese Mistress, LeeAnn, has discovered the Crazy Frog video. When I was in London last week, this thing was on the TV all the time - only they blacked out the little frog peepee. All the Brits I worked with called it the 'damned annoying frog'.

Posted by Beth at 12:05 PM

May 29, 2005


memememememememem


Barb tagged me while I was in London, so I'm a little late in catching up.
Here is my data on the movie - blog poll thingie that's going around.

Total number of films I own on DVD/video: John was very kind and counted everything in our bedroom - Andy counted what was in the living room.
I may be off by a few, but we have 367 videos and 69 DVDs. Yes. We have a lot. We likes our movies in this household, we do!

The last film I bought: Well, the last DVD I bought was a yoga thing, so let's count the last one John bought - it's more fun! Team America.

The last film I watched: Well, F**K Yeah! Team America! Puppet Sex! whoohoo!

Five films that I watch a lot or that mean a lot to me (in no particular order): Evolution is one we watch a lot. Monty Python and the Holy Grail is wonderfully funny. I love all three of the Lord of the Rings movies. Princess Bride is definitely a favorite. And I also really like the First Season of CSI.

Next players Oh, golly, this will take some time - has anyone *not* done this yet? Oh, wait, John should do this!
I need two more!

Posted by Beth at 01:29 PM

May 16, 2005


Alison's name the cat contest


You must go over to AliThinks and watch the video of the new kittens - one of whom has no name yet. He's a very cute, black kitten. Maybe Fuzz would be a good name - that's all I can see of him!

Alison's daughter is certainly very excited about being on the internet - lots of giggles!

Posted by Beth at 06:57 AM

May 14, 2005


Huffington stuff


In case you didn't know, there is a great new blog called the Huffington's Toast - it is a lot more fun to read than the Huffington Post - which has a bunch of no-talent liberals writing on it. The Huffington's Toast makes great mock of Arrianna's blog thing.

Here is a nice sample.

Go read it.

Posted by Beth at 12:47 PM

May 13, 2005


Sure, I can be a bitch, but ...









Brute
You are 14% Rational, 42% Extroverted, 57% Brutal, and 71% Arrogant.
You are the Brute! You are introverted, arrogant, brutal, and more intuitive than rational. Like a big, dumb animal, you are driven by your emotions more than your reason, and as a result of the fact that you care very little for the feelings of others, you tend to be rather selfish. Because of your selfishness, you also tend to be a bit arrogant, seeing yourself as big or strong or smart or always correct. This makes you a stubborn, irrational, emotion-driven brute. King Kong best represents the gorilla-version of your personality. Emotional, introverted (King Kong was isolated on his own island, after all), brutal, and arrogant (proud to be the largest ape on Earth!), Kong would probably get along very well with you, seeing as how you share many of the same traits. Aside from, you know, all the fur. So your personality defect is simply that you resemble King Kong to a very high degree. Which probably isn't a good thing, you big brute!


To put it less negatively:

1. You are more INTUITIVE than rational.

2. You are more INTROVERTED than extroverted.

3. You are more BRUTAL than gentle.

4. You are more ARROGANT than humble.

Compatibility:

Your exact opposite is the Hand-Raiser.

Other personalities you would probably get along with are the Class Clown, the Schoolyard Bully, and the Sociopath.

*

*

If you scored near fifty percent for a certain trait (42%-58%), you could very well go either way. For example, someone with 42% Extroversion is slightly leaning towards being an introvert, but is close enough to being an extrovert to be classified that way as well. Below is a list of the other personality types so that you can determine which other possible categories you may fill if you scored near fifty percent for certain traits.

The other personality types:

The Emo Kid: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Starving Artist: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Bitch-Slap: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Brute: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

The Hippie: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Televangelist: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Schoolyard Bully: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Class Clown: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

The Robot: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Haughty Intellectual: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Spiteful Loner: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Sociopath: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

The Hand-Raiser: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Braggart: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Capitalist Pig: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Smartass: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant.








My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:



















free online dating free online dating
You scored higher than 12% on Rationality





free online dating free online dating
You scored higher than 25% on Extroversion





free online dating free online dating
You scored higher than 62% on Brutality





free online dating free online dating
You scored higher than 87% on Arrogance
Link: The Personality Defect Test written by saint_gasoline on Ok Cupid

I got this from August.< /a>

Posted by Beth at 10:52 PM


Well, Duh!


Your Inner European is Irish!




Sprited and boisterous!

You drink everyone under the table.

Who's Your Inner European?

I stole this from my friend, Rosemary Esmay, the Queen of All Evil!

Posted by Beth at 10:26 PM

May 01, 2005


Scared Bride


The Manalo, he is right.

What kind of pretentious, crazy family would have 14 bridesmaids! Boy, I bet they are pissed, seeing as they had to purchase dresses that are usually only worn one time.

Posted by Beth at 09:46 PM

April 30, 2005


bobble heads


As you likely know, both John and I have been under the weather all week - me for nearly two weeks now. I am healthier than John at the moment, and this morning, I got up and dressed to run a few errands - we were out of laundry detergent and I have a ton of laundry - at least a ton!

So, I went to the local Wal Mart and then to Home Depot and bought those things I needed. On my way home, a little old lady was driving a big old Buick with about 35 bobble headed dogs in her back window - and they were so funny, I just had to laugh.

So now, I want some bobble headed things for my car. I'm thinking maybe the horses.

I was amazed to find that there is a Martin Luther bobblehead doll, a Jesus bobble head and pope bobble heads.

Apparently nothing is sacred and free from bobbleheadom these days.

Posted by Beth at 08:40 PM

April 28, 2005


Musical Tastes


This seems about right for me -

Your Taste in Music:

80's Alternative: High Influence
90's Alternative: High Influence
90's Rock: High Influence
Progressive Rock: High Influence
80's Pop: Medium Influence
90's Pop: Medium Influence
Adult Alternative: Medium Influence
Classic Rock: Medium Influence
80's R&B: Low Influence
80's Rock: Low Influence
Country: Low Influence


How's Your Taste in Music?

I got this from CalTechGirl

Posted by Beth at 07:17 AM

April 09, 2005


When I have a hard week at work


This is how I relax.

southparkbeth.JPG

Got this from Romeo Cat

It's fun - go try it!

Posted by Beth at 08:40 PM

March 21, 2005


Sara, a reader - sent this link


And it is truly hilarious: http://www.candyboots.com/wwcards.html

Thank you, Sara - what a hoot!!

Posted by Beth at 07:54 PM

March 19, 2005


My friend Sandi sent me another funny



WIFE MART


A new store that sells wives opens in Dallas, TX

A man may go to choose a wife from among MANY women.

The store is comprised of 6 floors, and the women increase in positive attributes as the shopper ascends the flights.

There is however, a catch: As you open the door to any floor you may choose a wife from that floor. But if you go up a floor, you can't go back down - except to exit the building--no stopping on any lower floors.


A man goes to the shopping center to find a wife.

********** On the first floor, a sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These women have jobs.


The man reads the sign and says to himself, "Well, that's better than my last girlfriend, but I wonder what's further up?" So up he goes on.


********** The sign on second floor reads

Floor 2 - These women have jobs,love sports,

and drink beer.

The man smiles to himself, "That's great, but I wonder what's further up?


********** The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These women have jobs, love sports, drink beer, and are extremely good looking.

"Hmmm, better!" he says. "But I wonder what's upstairs?"

********** The fourth floor sign reads:

Floor 4 - These women have jobs, love sports, drink beer, are extremely good looking and do all the housework.

"Wow!" exclaims the man, "very tempting. BUT, there must be more, much more, further up!" He heads up another flight.

********** The fifth floor sign reads:

Floor 5 - These women have jobs, love sports, drink beer, are extremely good looking, do all the housework and don't bitch or gripe about anything.

"Hot Dang!..how close to perfect can you get?.. .. But just think.....what must be awaiting me further on?" So up to the sixth floor he goes.


********** The sixth floor sign reads:

Floor 6 - Welcome. You are visitor 133,956,779,012 to this floor There are no women on this floor.

This floor exists solely as proof that men are impossible to please.

Thank you for shopping Wife Mart, and have a nice day.

Posted by Beth at 02:09 PM

March 01, 2005


Dreams


Boudicca has some pretty scary dreams.

Eric has some pretty sexy dreams.

I dream about finding out that I didn't finish school.

Jay Tea of Wizbang daydreams of fake but true things.

And Allan loses his car when he dreams - at least he doesn't lose his mind!

What do you dream about?

I guess a lot of us blog about our dreams from time to time -

Songstress7 dreams about bloggers!

Posted by Beth at 07:09 AM


Here's a game for John


Kate found this neat little game - shoot Gonzo from a cannon. John is going to love this one, and I would have made a terrible artillery kinda person!

Posted by Beth at 06:16 AM


I like Elves, too


But I never really saw myself as one! Punctillious took a Dungeons and Dragons test and found out that she is an elf. I am also an elf, only messier (chaotic) than Punctillious!

I Am A: Chaotic Good Elf Bard Mage


Alignment:
Chaotic Good characters are independent types with a strong belief in the value of goodness. They have little use for governments and other forces of order, and will generally do their own things, without heed to such groups.


Race:
Elves are the eldest of all races, although they are generally a bit smaller than humans. They are generally well-cultured, artistic, easy-going, and because of their long lives, unconcerned with day-to-day activities that other races frequently concern themselves with. Elves are, effectively, immortal, although they can be killed. After a thousand years or so, they simply pass on to the next plane of existance.


Primary Class:
Bards are the entertainers. They sing, dance, and play instruments to make other people happy, and, frequently, make money. They also tend to dabble in magic a bit.


Secondary Class:
Mages harness the magical energies for their own use. Spells, spell books, and long hours in the library are their loves. While often not physically strong, their mental talents can make up for this.


Deity:
Hanali Cenanil is the Chaotic Good elven goddess of love, beauty, and art. She is also known as the Heart of Gold and Lady Goldheart. Her followers delight in creation and youth, and work to spread happiness, love, and beauty. Their preferred weapon is the dagger.


Find out What D&D Character Are You?, courtesy ofNeppyMan (e-mail)



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Detailed Results:

Alignment:
Lawful Good ----- XXXXXXX (7)
Neutral Good ---- XXXXXX (6)
Chaotic Good ---- XXXXXXXXX (9)
Lawful Neutral -- XX (2)
True Neutral ---- XXXXXX (6)
Chaotic Neutral - XXX (3)
Lawful Evil ----- (-1)
Neutral Evil ---- (-1)
Chaotic Evil ---- (-6)

Race:
Human ---- (-3)
Half-Elf - XXXXXXX (7)
Elf ------ XXXXXXXXXXXX (12)
Halfling - X (1)
Dwarf ---- X (1)
Half-Orc - (-3)
Gnome ---- XXXX (4)

Class:
Fighter - (-6)
Ranger -- XXXXX (5)
Paladin - (0)
Cleric -- XXX (3)
Mage ---- XXXXXX (6)
Druid --- XXXX (4)
Thief --- (0)
Bard ---- XXXXXXXXXXX (11)
Monk ---- XXXX (4)

Posted by Beth at 05:51 AM

February 27, 2005


This is kinda neat


Fly Guy

And this, News is Free, is very nifty. An easy way to see the breaking news.

Posted by Beth at 11:10 AM

February 14, 2005


Happy Valentine's Day, SWWBO!


I know that I will never see
One more beautiful than thee...
And I thank God above,
For allowing me to be your love.

Happy Valentine's Day, sweetie.

Love,

toadster

Posted by John at 07:56 AM

January 07, 2005


Why do men pee standing up?


God was just about done creating man, but he had two things left over in his bag and He couldn't quite decide how to split them between Adam and Eve.

He thought He might just as well ask them. He told them one of the things He had left was a thing that would allow the owner to pee while standing up.

"It's a very handy thing," God told them, "and I was wondering if either one of you had a preference for it."

Well, Adam jumped up and down and begged, "Oh, please give that to me! I'd love to be able to do that! It seems like just the sort of thing a man should have. Please! Pleeease! Give it to me!" On and on he went like an excited little boy. Eve just smiled and told God that if Adam really wanted it so badly, he could have it. So God gave Adam the thing that allowed him to pee standing up. Adam was so excited he just started whizzing all over the place first on the side of a rock, then he wrote his name in the sand, and then he tried to see if he could hit a stump ten feet away - laughing with delight all the while.

God and Eve watched him with amusement and then God said to Eve, "Well,I guess you're kind of stuck with the last thing I have left."What's it called?" asked Eve. "Brains", said God.

Hat tip to my friend, Yvonne!

Posted by Beth at 05:44 PM

December 17, 2004


A holiday tip from my friend, Sandi


I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me and we
all could use more calm in our lives. By following the simple advice I
heard on a Dr. Phil show, I have finally found inner peace.

Dr. Phil proclaimed the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the
things you have started. So I looked around my house to see things I
started and hadn't finished; and, before leaving the house this morning
I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of White Zinfandel, a
bottle of Baileys, a bottle of Kahlua, a package of Oreos, the
remainder of both Prozac and Valium prescriptions, the rest of the
Cheesecake, some Saltines and a box of Chocolates.

You have no idea how good I feel!!!!!!!

Please pass this on to those you feel are in need of inner peace

Posted by Beth at 06:36 AM

November 07, 2004


I don't think this is entirely accurate


You are a silly English Knnnnnniggit! Brave, loyal, and (somewhat) chaste, you follow your leader without question...even though you're not really that smart.
You are a silly English Knnnnnniggit! Brave, loyal,
and (somewhat) chaste, you follow your leader
without question...even though you're not
really that smart.


Which Monty Python & the Holy Grail Character are you REALLY?
brought to you by Quizilla

Posted by Beth at 07:31 AM

October 26, 2004


But Wait!


If I let someone be the host or hostess of the Carnival of the Recipes, shouldn't I insist that they blogroll me?

I think so!

(hint, hint, hint)

And if I have failed to blogroll any of the hosts or hostesses, feel free to let me know, and I promise I will add you immediately if not sooner. (that last phrase was spoken in a Monty Python voice, thank you)

Posted by Beth at 07:19 PM

October 04, 2004


Ren Fest Pictures


Thought I'd post a few pictures from the Kansas City Rennaissance Festival. We had a great time.

Here is the king:

And this guy taught a belly dancing class:

Posted by Beth at 05:07 AM

September 27, 2004


Another email from my friend, Sandi


learn.bmp

Posted by Beth at 11:04 AM

September 19, 2004


It's talk like a Pirate Day!


Ahoy, me mateys - arrrrrrrrrr.

Wear your eyepatch and knives and other swashbuckling thingies today and talk like a Pirate!

Posted by Beth at 11:02 AM

September 12, 2004


Dance Dance Revolution!


I have mentioned before how my college-aged son, Andy and his friends have found a video game called DDR (Dance Dance Revolution). They are all pretty hooked on it, and it looks like great arobic exercise to me.
Here is a picture of Andy (on the right) and August (on the left) playing DDR.

They are playing the Sony Playstation II version of the game in this picture.
Well, Andy took his playstation off to college with him, but left his X-Box with us, so I bought the X-Box version of DDR for myself. It is definitely more fun than a lot of other exercise, but I can only make it for about 4 minutes, then I have to rest for 10 before I try again.

You will *not* see a picture of me trying to do DDR until I get as thin as the boys are!

Posted by Beth at 06:27 AM

September 04, 2004


Need a laugh, or a giggle?


I know that after the news of yesterday and today, I need a small smile.
To get one, go see LeeAnn. She has a story about her neighborhood.

LeeAnn has very "interesting" neighbors.

Posted by Beth at 12:50 PM

September 01, 2004


Yahoo! LeeAnn is home again!


I'm sorry, but LeeAnn should not be allowed to take month long vacations.
It's okay for Andrew Sullivan to take month long vacations - he doesn't make me laugh, but LeeAnn . ..
I have missed her unique and cheesy look at life.

Welcome home, LeeAnn!!!!

Posted by Beth at 05:08 PM

August 29, 2004


People who send Spam


DaGoddess often lists some of her more interesting spammers on her blog.
Today, I happened to look in my deleted folder, where spam mostly automatically goes.
I was tickled to find these names:
Molests H. Hamburgers
Chillow Pillow
Sal Fry
Lashaunda Mitzie
Prince Epps
Forest K. Ho
Rusty Lay

Makes you wonder about the mindset of the people who think up these names.

Posted by Beth at 04:36 PM

July 23, 2004


I stand in awe of the Cheese Mistress


LeeAnn knows just how to handle a person calling the wrong number.

I usually apologize when someone calls me and it's a wrong number.

Posted by Beth at 07:37 AM

July 12, 2004


Happy Blog Day to you, Happy Blog Day to you,


Happy Blogiversary, Dear Sweetie,
Happy Blogday to you.

....aaaaand mannny more!

Love,

Me (no, all y'all don't get to know my secret name!)

Posted by John at 07:49 PM

June 27, 2004


Frog or Frenchman?


Iranian woman 'gives birth to frog'

An Iranian newspaper has reported the controversial story of a woman who claims to have given birth to a frog. The Iranian daily Etemaad says the creature is believed to have grown from larva to an adult frog inside her body.

While it is unclear how this could have happened, the paper carries quotes from medical experts who say there are human characteristics to the animal.

It has been speculated that the woman, who has not been named, unknowingly picked up the larva while she was swimming in a dirty pool.

The woman, from the south-eastern city of Iranshahr, is a mother of two children.

The "so-called frog", as the newspaper puts it, has yet to undergo precise genetic and anatomic tests.

But it quotes clinical biology expert Dr Aminifard as saying: "The similarities are in appearance, the shape of the fingers and the size and shape of the tongue."

I have nothing to say.


Posted by Beth at 08:04 PM

June 15, 2004


Are you ready to be a parent?


Guest blogging for SWWBO who has *access* issues in Tampa/St Pete this week. I originally had this over at the Castle, but the audience here will be more receptive, I think!

HOW TO KNOW WHETHER OR NOT YOU ARE READY TO HAVE CHILDREN...

MESS TEST Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Place a fish stick behind the couch and leave it there all summer.

TOY TEST Obtain a 55 gallon box of Legos (or you may substitute roofing tacks). Have a friend spread them all over the house. Put on a blindfold. Try to walk to the bathroom or kitchen. Do not scream because this would wake a child at night.

GROCERY STORE TEST Borrow one or two small animals (goats are best) and take them with you as you shop. Always keep them in sight and pay for anything they eat or damage.

Take the rest in the extended post!

DRESSING TEST Obtain one large, unhappy, live octopus. Stuff into a small net bag making sure that all the arms stay inside.

FEEDING TEST Obtain a large plastic milk jug. Fill halfway with water. Suspend from the ceiling with a cord. Start the jug swinging. Try to insert spoonfuls of soggy cereal into the mouth of the jug, while pretending to be an airplane. Now dump the contents of the jug on the floor.

NIGHT TEST Prepare by obtaining a small cloth bag and fill it with 8-12 pounds of sand. Soak it thoroughly in water. At 3:00 p.m. begin to waltz and hum with the bag until 9:00p.m. Lay down your bag and set your alarm for 10:00p.m. Get up, pick up your bag, and sing every song you have ever heard. Make up about a dozen more and sing these too until 4:00a.m. Set alarm for 5:00 a.m. Get up and make breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years. Look cheerful.

INGENUITY TEST Take an egg carton. Using a pair of scissors and pot of paint, turn it into an alligator. Now take a toilet paper tube and turn it into an attractive Christmas candle. Use only scotch tape and a piece of foil. Last, take a milk carton, a ping-pong ball, and an empty box of Cocoa Puffs. Make an exact replica of the Eiffel Tower.

AUTOMOBILE TEST Forget the BMW and buy a station wagon. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there. Get a dime. Stick it into the cassette player. Take a family size package of chocolate chip cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car. There, perfect. (Repeat in 16 years. Add dents and double insurance payments)

PHYSICAL TEST (Women) Obtain a large bean bag chair and attach it to the front of your clothes. Leave it there for 9 months. Now remove 10 of the beans.

PHYSICAL TEST (Men) Go to the nearest drug store. Set your wallet on the counter. Ask the clerk to help himself. Now proceed to the nearest food store. Go to the head office and arrange for your paycheck to be directly deposited to the store. Purchase a newspaper. Go home and read it quietly for the last time.

FINAL ASSIGNMENT Find a couple who already have a small child. Lecture them on how they can improve their discipline, patience, tolerance, toilet training and child's table manners. Suggest many ways they can improve.

Emphasize to them that they should never allow their children to run wild.

Enjoy this experience. It will be the last time you will have all the answers.

Hat tip to Mr. Greenjeans!

Posted by John at 07:29 AM

June 07, 2004


Stolen from LeeAnn


Answer me:

1. Who are you?
2. Have we ever met?
3. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
4. Describe me in one word.
5. What reminds you of me?
6. If you could give me anything, what would it be?
7. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
8. Are you going to put this on your weblog and see what I say about you?
9. What do you love like a fat kid loves cake?
10. What makes you come back here?

Posted by Beth at 02:35 PM

May 20, 2004


Looks like things are looking up for Chris


My favorite cartoonist ever! Can't wait to hear the whole story, Chris!!!






Day By Day© by Chris Muir.



Posted by Beth at 06:59 AM

May 19, 2004


VRWC


This is funny. You just have to go and read it. Then you will understand.

Posted by Beth at 07:05 PM

May 15, 2004


This week's to do list.


Things we need to do this week:

1. get the slime off the back porch.(we have had a ton of rain, and it's not draining well from the porch.)
2. Clear the limbs from the back and front yard,cut them to size and tie together for Tuesday pickup.
3. Laundry (but not critical -have enough underwear to last all week)
4. Get more pots for plants plant the plants that have not been planted.
5. vacuum hallway /kitchen
6. Clean all the crap out of Andy’s room (he is 19 and in college)
7. Paint Andy’s room (Deferred, we're going to host a painting party with Andy's friends... a little Tom Sawyer action!
8. Buy him something to sleep on! (we threw out the old waterbed - need new normal bed before he comes home from college on Friday)
9. Work on deck – Give away old patio furniture and get new!!!
10. Maybe go and buy swing for deck?
11. Pond – eliminate leaves, maybe some new fishies.
12. change sheets on bed
13. clean kitty litter
14. clean both bathrooms
15. clean kitchen counters (half done)
16. purge accumulated stuff from computer room
17. must download Esmay pics to my PC and upload to my blog.

Things I’d like to do:

1. Get a little horse time
2. little stained glass time
3. sex - XXXXXXXX times at least.
4. champagne
5. food

This is not necessarily the order in which things will be done. And numbers 3,4 and 5 of the I'd like to do list are repeated as often as necessary.

Update:
I have crossed out those things that are finished. Please keep in mind that Numbers 3, 4 and 5 of my second list are repeatable - so they continue to need to be done over and over and over.

Posted by Beth at 02:29 PM


If you are feeling a little down today


click here and type in your first name.

Posted by Beth at 02:07 PM


My boobs are uneven


Damn - looked in the mirror - left is at least a cup size larger than the right. You would think I woulda paid more attention over the last 51 years.

No wonder I can't find bras that fit.

Posted by Beth at 09:27 AM

May 09, 2004


I have proof now...


That John blogs nekkid. Thanks to the new camera, I got off about 8 shots in a row before he reacted.

Of course, the only pictures I can put up here would be the ones of the back of his head and bare (yet every so sexy and manly) shoulders.

And I can't do that until I get all the software for the camera installed on my laptop. I'll try posting it in the AM.

Posted by Beth at 08:27 PM


Happy Mother's Day


I hope all of you get a Mother's Day gift as great as the gift that John gave me.

Posted by Beth at 10:56 AM

May 02, 2004


Suntan stuff


Tomorrow morning, I am off to Orlando, Florida. I thought it might be nice to look a little tan, so I bought this Endless Summer stuff by Coppertone.

However, I just read the instructions, and it says you can't put on any clothes for 45 minutes or so after applying. 45 minutes that you can't sit down on furniture, or let a cat or a dog come near you. 45 minutes of avoiding everything?

Nah, I think I'll skip the tanning juice. I can't stay still for 45 minutes!

Posted by Beth at 08:18 PM

April 30, 2004


This one is for women only


Ok, ladies, where on earth can one find a comfortable bra? One that doesn't scratch, doesn't bind and is still pretty? A bra that is made for a woman with DD cup size?

Where, where where??


I've tried a zillion of them. I've spent a fortune on bras, but not one of them ever lets me forget that I'm wearing it.

And what is with the damn tags? Why do they have to face my very sensitive skin in the middle of my back and make me itch like crazy?

Rosemary, DaGoddess and, I'm sure, others have found pretty bras that look comfy. Why can't I????

Do I have to learn to sew my own? I hope not - my lovely and lonely sewing machine is covered with all kinds of projects I've not had time for!

Posted by Beth at 07:22 AM

April 21, 2004


Poke the Bunny


I said, Poke The Bunny!


Keep poking the bunny!

Stolen from Jonah Goldberg on the Corner.

Posted by Beth at 02:25 PM

April 18, 2004


This quiz is actually accurate


gk-70.jpg
find your geek decade at spacefem.com

Posted by Beth at 11:58 AM

April 13, 2004


Catching up


This traveling is messing up my blogreading. I just now found LeeAnn's discussion of memory - or is it Attention Deficit Disorder? Anyway, as always, she is hilarious.

Posted by Beth at 05:45 AM

April 12, 2004


Michele is always on the beat


Intrepid reporter, Michele, covers the most recent Washington protests, the First Annual Peeple are Peeple March.

I have no doubt that Michele will win the Pulitzer Prize for photojournalism for her inspired shots of Peeps in this protest.

Please proceed peacefully to the perfectly published Peeple are Peeple story.

Posted by Beth at 06:38 AM


Glad I'm not this kid's mom!


Madfish Willie reports on a young man who meets a spider - this is a must read!Madfish Willie's Cyber Saloon: Usenet Performance Art

Andy, if you ever, ever do anything that dumb - well, actually, there is no way on earth Andy would do something like this young man. No way at all - sorry, Andy!

Posted by Beth at 06:17 AM

April 04, 2004


Believe it or not ...


grammargod


You are a GRAMMAR GOD!


If your mission in life is not already to
preserve the English tongue, it should be.
Congratulations and thank you!


How grammatically sound are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Posted by Beth at 08:13 PM

April 03, 2004


SugarMama knows all




Take the What type of blahblah are you? quiz at sugarmama.org!

Posted by Beth at 07:28 PM

March 26, 2004


Bunnies


This is not for the faint of heart, so if you are stong, go to the Extended Entry.

easter bunnies.jpg

Posted by Beth at 07:48 AM

March 20, 2004


Completely without any redeeming value whatsoever



This piece of foolishness came from Pam

Posted by Beth at 04:49 PM

March 13, 2004


My wings


I got this from Pam - she has Faery Wings.

Angel
You are one of the few out there whose wings are
truly ANGELIC. Selfless, powerful, and
divine, you are one blessed with a certain
cosmic grace. You are unequalled in
peacefulness, love, and beauty. As a Being of
Light your wings are massive and a soft white
or silver. Countless feathers grace them and
radiate the light within you for all the world
to see. You are a defender, protector, and
caretaker. Comforter of the weak and forgiver
of the wrong, chances are you are taken
advantage of once in awhile, maybe quite often.
But your innocence and wisdom sees the good in
everyone and so this mistreatment does not make
you colder. Merciful to the extreme, you will
try to help misguided souls find themselves and
peace. However not all Angelics allow
themselves to be gotten the better of - the
Seraphim for example will be driven to fighting
for the sake of Justice and protection of those
less powerful. Congratulations - and don't ever
change - the world needs more people like you.


*~*~*Claim Your Wings - Pics and Long Answers*~*~*
brought to you by Quizilla

Posted by Beth at 07:24 PM


I had such a great birthday yesterday!


Everything went perfectly.
I took the day off work.

The entirety of my Parelli Natural Horsemanship Partnership program was delivered. (no, it's not an Amway kind of thing, it's a horse training thing).

I went to the barn and spent a full 3 hours with Petey my wonderful, yet problematical horse.

My vet, a fantastic women, Jeannie Hauser, came and gave both of my guys their spring shots.

I took Willie out for a 2 hour trail ride.

John got home from work at a decent hour.

Andy came home from college for the weekend.

I fixed a wonderful Prime Rib Roast (diet be damned!).

Some of you may wonder why that is a perfect day for me. To understand, you really have to be a horse lover. My job has taken me away from home so much that I have not even seen my horses since November - John has been taking care of them for me.

Spending time grooming and playing with and riding my horses is like heaven to me. If I ever won the lottery, I'd spend at least 5 or 6 hours every day with Willie and Petey.

If you are not a horselover, you won't understand why I so enjoyed the day.

Posted by Beth at 06:40 PM

March 12, 2004


I'm 51 today!


Don't feel like I'm 51. Feel about the same as the last 10 or so birthdays. I took the day off work. I'm going to the barn all afternoon so I can play with my horses (yes, I do play with them). Probably won't ride, just want to brush them and untangle wintry manes and tails and play tag with them in the paddock or pasture.

Should be a nice day. Andy is coming home from college for a couple of days. John promised that he would get out of the office at a reasonable hour tonight - the last two, he has worked past 11:00 pm. I'm going to make a nice Rib Roast for dinner. It will be a nice day.

And for all of you below the age of 40, life only gets better and better as you age. Yeah, I am slower and ache a little, but everything else is better.

Posted by Beth at 08:46 AM

March 10, 2004


Verse 2


My husband blogs nekkid each morning
he blogs while the coffee does brew
My husband blogs nekkid each morning
'bout the dimocrats having no clue!

Posted by Beth at 11:07 AM


Verse 1 of the Blogging Nekkid Song


I always blog nekkid on Sunday,
'Cause by then, I'm out of clean clothes,
I always blog nekkid on Sunday,
from my head to the tips of my toes.


Okay, Eric - I have made up a tune, but I don't know how to get it to you.
it goes like this:
dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum
etc., etc., etc.

Oh, and there it can be sung in harmony
the tune for the alto goes like this:
dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee

Got that?
Any additional verses are welcome!

Posted by Beth at 07:31 AM


Shoespenders!


Well, I dreamed about a coming fashion statement last night - and I think this is a totally original concept - Shoespenders!

What, you may ask, are shoespenders?

Shoespenders are *not* women who spend a lot of shoes!

Well, let me tell you about them - they are suspenders to hold your shoes up. They can reach down from very fashionable leather belts with little pink flowers on them and clip onto those backless shoes to keep them from flopping every time you take a step. There is another variety, also. Little leather straps that go around your legs, just under your knee - where knee high socks end up.
One shoespender clips onto the back of the shoe (and all shoes now have little places for shoespender clips, now that they are in fashion) and looks something like the seam in old fashioned stockings. Then, of course, the kinky crowd likes black rubber and leather shoespenders, with straps of leather going round the leg every 4 inches or so. Looks a little Medieval.

I wish I knew how to take a picture and photoshop some model's legs into legs wearing shoespenders!

I do have to ask myself this: what on earth did I eat that produced that dream! Or, is it something I can get rich on? Would you wear Shoespenders?

Posted by Beth at 06:35 AM

March 07, 2004


1,2,3,4,5 - An Obsessive Compulsive Life - oh, yeah!


All my life, I have had something of an obsessive/compulsive personality. When I was a little girl, I would count how many steps it would take me to walk around the house, or how many steps it would take me from home room to French class, etc., etc.

When I was in First Grade, I remember seeing a commercial on TV of a child praying, and then slowly looking up at heaven. I then developed a compulsion to do the same thing, time after time, when I was in the Chapel at school for Benediction or Mass. I'm sure I drove the Good Mothers (my mom called the Sacred Heart Nuns who taught me 'Good Mothers") out of their minds during chapel.

At some point, I started counting the syllables of words I said (or even thought). I had this odd thing where sentences had to end with number divisible by 5. (Probably due to the fact that there are 5 fingers on each hand.) Even now, when I am under extreme stress, I can easily fall back into that pattern.

As I grew older, I found I could think in rhymes very easily. By 5th Grade, I had a great vocabulary because I needed to know words with different numbers of syllables that meant the same thing so I could complete a sentence with the correct number of syllables (any number divisible by 5). I had to be able to rhyme all the words I thought. This also improved my vocabulary.

English was my best subject all through grade school and High School. In college, one of my professors begged me to be an English Major. No one understood that I was good simply because I was compelled to be good. I didn't even understand that.

I even won some awards for poetry, and I used to write my own songs (but I never played them for anyone else to hear - I was desperately shy).

I was a good student, but I did not play well with others. I felt like I had nothing in common with other little girls, and I always felt left out. But since I was well-behaved and mannerly nobody thought to wonder why I was so weird. Maybe they didn't notice!

When I was in high school, I became very anxious and depressed so my parents sent me to a psychiatrist. He put me on something that made me sleep for 24 hours straight, so I never took it again. He did talk to me, and he felt that there was nothing wrong with me (no testing, mind you!). He suggested to my parents that I should be encouraged to express my artistic side, that I was depressed because I was of an artistic temperment.

He never saw that I was counting all of my words and his with my fingers - if he didn't finish a sentence with syllables divisible by 5, then I would have to say something to make it so.

I always felt like I was an oddball, so I ended up majoring in psychology in college. I took some very introspective courses hoping to understand myself better, but nothing really opened my eyes to the fact that I have OCD until my

son was about 10 years old, and I recognized that he was obsessing about conversations he had at school. I could see that he was also counting, his fingers would move ever so slightly when we had conversations. It hit me like a ton of bricks, my son is somewhat obsessive/compulsive. Then, it hit me like another ton of bricks, that I was most definitely obsessive/compulsive, fortunately, a relatively mild case of OCD - no frightening thoughts, no desire to do bad things - just counting and rhyming when I'm stressed. And my darling son has inherited this rather annoying disorder.

My son and I have talked a lot about this, and he realizes now what he is doing very quickly and seems to have learned to stop it by doing something else, keeping busy, reading. He knows that if it starts to take over his life, he should go see a doctor, but he feels like he can control it (he is now in college and doing extremely well).

As I have aged, I have been able to keep my compulsions at bay unless I am under extreme stress, then I find myself counting syllables again, or rhyming like crazy. After 9/11, I found that I was counting and rhyming in my head like crazy. I was also extremely depressed and anxious and I started having panic attacks when driving or even at work. I finally went to the doctor (at the urging of my incredibly wonderful and patient huband, John) to see what she could do.

Me being me, I only told her of the anxiety and depression and the crying. I never told her about my counting. She prescribed me Celexa, and I have been taking it ever since (with a few months off last year, when I felt a lot better). I looked up the drug, and it is also used for treating OCD. It does help quite a bit, however, the side effects have included an obviously large weight gain as well as a certain tiredness and disinterest in some things that I have always loved to do. I need to go see her again, and ask if there is something I can take that doesn't dull my senses. I don't have the joy of life on the drug that I can have off the drug - oh, gee, maybe that makes me manic depressive?

In case you didn't notice, I am also very suggestible.

Here I am, I have everything I have ever wanted in life - a wonderful husband, a wonderful son, enough money that we can go on vacations, my horses and the dogs and the cats. I have a potter's wheel and a kiln and all the art supplies I could ever imagine - from a glass saw for stained glass to my oil paints. But I don't have the energy to enjoy all that we have worked for. I sometimes come home from work, fix dinner, and then retire to bed and fall asleep without spending the time with the dogs, horses, cats, and my artsy stuff, and most importantly, without spending time with the love of my life, John. I have not been to the barn in months - John, incredible man that he is, has taken care of my boys, Willie and Petey for ages.

I have to get out of this funk - I suspect it is caused by the Celexa, but I can't go without the Celexa, or I panic, and begin to doubt myself and my loved ones. I start to believe that I am completely unlovable.

Yes, I know this is not the kind of thing I usually write. This is something that I should be able to help myself with. I am not depressed as I was the months after 9/11, but I'm tired and without energy. Here it is, 8:19 in the evening, and I'm ready to call it a night and head off to bed.

Anyway, there is a reason I brought all this up - since it is so easy for me to rhyme and figure meter, etc., I have half made up a song about nekkid bloggin'.

If I have time tomorrow, I'll write it down. I'll ask Eric to work out a good tune for it on his guitar - mine needs new strings!

Posted by Beth at 08:41 PM

March 03, 2004


legobeth is . . . kinda boring


And unhappily, legobeth's shape is very similar to my shape.

I saw this first at Pam's place, then everywhere else!

Posted by Beth at 05:20 AM

March 02, 2004


boobie prize


Joanie reveals that her "Nips" are not perfectly aligned.

Joanie - don't feel bad. My right boob is a full cup size larger than my left boob - makes bra shopping an adventure! And to make things worse, I find that my right arm is at least one full inch longer than my left arm. 3/4 length sleeves are bountiful these days, and I realized that when I wear blouses with sleeves that length, that it looks like the sleeve on my right are was cut one or two inches too short.

From now on, long sleeves only! And I'll bet you that John will tell you that one of my buns is bigger than the other - or worse!!!!

I should look 1/2 as good as Joanie does, or even 1/4 as good - or 1/8 as good.

Posted by Beth at 07:18 PM

February 11, 2004


I'm the number one result


For cute furry critters on both Google and Yahoo.

Yup, I don't have much to say this morning.

Posted by Beth at 06:11 AM

February 05, 2004


I do not know how to put this on my sidebar, Madfish!


I am pretty sure that I don't use tables?

Posted by Beth at 08:32 PM


This kind of snarking is why


I just love LeeAnn! th3 ch33s3 st4nds 4alon3

And here is another reason

and another

And another

.
.
.
oh, and another!!!

Oh, and I almost forgot this.

Harumph.

Take that you little 5h1t, KuruID10T

Posted by Beth at 07:52 PM

January 28, 2004


I don't know what this means ...


but I come up as number one for wife cheddar suck on Google.

Posted by Beth at 10:45 PM

January 24, 2004


From Dean's World


I want a Fat Babe

Posted by Beth at 08:23 PM

January 23, 2004


Kid stories


I have a very good friend who lives in Virginia. Her name is Sandi, and I love her dearly. I'm sure you all have friends like her. Sandi emails everything she gets to everyone else. Sometimes, they are kind the kind of weepy stories that make me feel like I've been forced to get tears in my eyes - and I kinda wish she would not send me those. But today, she sent me a list of funny stories about kids, and they are good ones. I'm sure a lot of you have seen some of them, but some are new to me, and since the end of the email did not tell me I would have bad luck for 10 years if I break the chain, I'm going to copy it all for anyone who wants to read them. Oh, and I have no idea who wrote them.

Why We Love Children

1. A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead. "How

do you know that the cat was dead?" she asked her pupil. "Because I pissed in

its ear and it didn't move," answered the child innocently. You did WHAT ? ! ?"

the teacher exclaimed in surprise.

"You know,"explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it

didn't move."

2. A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes

later....."Da-ad...." "What?" "I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of

water?" "No, You had your chance. Lights out." Five minutes later:

"Da-aaaad....." "WHAT?" "I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??"

I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!" Five

minutes later......"Daaaa-aaaad......." "WHAT!" "When you come in to

spank me, can you bring a drink of water?"

3. An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into

mischief, finally asked him "How do you expect to get into Heaven?"

The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll run in and out and

in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For

Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!'"

4. One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was

tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he

asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me

tonight?" The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug.

"I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room." A

long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: "The big

sissy."

5. It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the

children's sermon. All the children were invited to come forward.

One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as

she sat down, the pastor leaned over and said, "That is a very pretty

dress. Is it your Easter Dress?" The little girl replied, directly into

the pastor's clip-on microphone, "Yes, and my Mom says it's a bitch to

iron."

6. When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three

year old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into

the shower. She said, "Mommy, you are getting fat!"

I replied, "Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her

tummy." "I know," she replied, but what's growing in your butt?"

7. A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself,

"Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son

of a bitch is nine...."

His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you

doing?" The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom." "And

this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked. "Yes,"

he answered. Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day,

"What are you teaching my son in math?" The teacher replied, "Right now,

we are learning addition." The mother asked, "And are you teaching them

to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?" After the teacher

stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two,

THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."

8. One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of

Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where

Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, ".... and so Chicken

Little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is

falling!"

The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think

that farmer said?" One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think he

said: 'Holy Shit! A talking chicken!'" The teacher was unable to teach

for the next 10 minutes.

9. A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply,

"I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter."

Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, "I'm Jane

Sugarbrown." The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said, "Aren't

you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?" She replied, "I thought I was, but

mother says I'm not."

10. A little girl asked her mother, "Can I go outside and play

with the boys?" Her mother replied, "No, you can't play with the boys,

they're too rough."

The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked,

"If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?"

11. A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father. She

stands next to the barber chair, while her dad gets his hair cut, eating

a snack cake.

The barber says to her, "Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on

your Twinkie." She says, "Yes, I know, and I'm gonna get boobs too."

Posted by Beth at 06:45 AM

January 01, 2004


WTF were those marketers thinking?


Reuters reports that M&M's Candy won't be colorful for awhile.

The chocolate-filled sugar-coated candies, made by a division of U.S. confectioner Mars Inc., will be available in only black and white for the next few months instead of the standard six colors as part of a promotional campaign.

One wonders if this is some weird ass statement? Are they punishing the US for the Iraq war? WTF? Didn't big corporations learn from the fiasco that was the New Coke?

Why does the rest of the world get to get all the colors?

And, does this mean that the wonderful M&M store in Vegas will hide away all the colors they sell?

Well, yeah. Apparently, it is a big Marketing ploy to get us to buy more M$M's in search of a bag of colored M$M's. Here is their website.

Of course, now that I have given them free advertising, I expect some free M&M's. They are yummy.

Posted by Beth at 07:35 AM

December 30, 2003


Damn it, LeeAnn!


I don't have the time it takes to play with this thing - I have woodwork to mask.

LeeAnn, stop entertaining me!!

Posted by Beth at 09:09 PM

December 29, 2003


Joanie tells a great joke!


Go read Da Goddess: Just Humor Me.
You will be happy you did.

Posted by Beth at 06:29 PM

December 27, 2003


I'll never eat soft-serve icecream again


And it is all Grouchy Old Cripple's fault

Posted by Beth at 06:15 PM

December 23, 2003


Well, I do tend to be a bit overdramatic




What Classic Movie Are You?


Thanks to LeeAnn for the link!

Posted by Beth at 05:53 PM

December 22, 2003


Yes, I loved this character


Eowyn

Eowyn

If I were a character in The Lord of the Rings, I would be Eowyn, Woman of Rohan, niece of King Theoden and sister of Eomer.

In the movie, I am played by Miranda Otto.

Who would you be?
Zovakware Lord of the Rings Test with Perseus Web Survey Software

Posted by Beth at 07:46 AM

December 21, 2003


Stole this from John


Cause I really like it!

Posted by Beth at 07:59 PM


Oh, my


Please, go see Peter Pan and be sure to check out his fashion pages.
Peter Pan's Home Page!
This is a very interesting odd different person.

Posted by Beth at 09:26 AM

December 16, 2003


I have worked very hard for 2 days


I finally have a couple of free hours, so I thought I'd surf my favorite blogs. My first stop was LeeAnn's place. And she linked to this.
I have been laughing myself almost sick of it. You must wait until the entire thing is over, but once again. LeeAnn has found the very funniest stuff on the internet and shared it with us.


Posted by Beth at 06:43 PM

December 14, 2003


Nekkid Bloggin' Web Ring


Cheeky Squirrel has been so kind as to start at Nekkid Bloggin' or Bloggin Nekkid or whatever Web Ring. Please go and join, and be sure and let me know, so I can add you to my Congress of Nekkid Bloggers.

Cheeky has a wonderful sense of humour. I have finally had some time to go and peruse his blog, and he did, indeed, make me laugh quite heartily.

I told Cheeky it was ok to use Eric's logo, since I'm paying Eric in Bourbon Balls.
(which I have still not quite made). I may also need to send some to Cheeky Squirrel, as he as worked so hard for our cause!

And, even better, Cheeky makes our Congress of Nekkid Bloggers an international group!!!!!

Posted by Beth at 03:58 PM

December 13, 2003


It's not easy being green


kermit.jpeg
You are Kermit the Frog.
You are reliable, responsible and caring. And you
have a habit of waving your arms about
maniacally.

FAVORITE EXPRESSIONS:
"Hi ho!" "Yaaay!" and
"Sheesh!"
FAVORITE MOVIE:
"How Green Was My Mother"

LAST BOOK READ:
"Surfin' the Webfoot: A Frog's Guide to the
Internet"

HOBBIES:
Sitting in the swamp playing banjo.

QUOTE:
"Hmm, my banjo is wet."


What Muppet are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Well, I suppose it is better than being Miss Piggy!

Thanks to Ghost of a Flea for the link!

Posted by Beth at 06:51 PM


I'm trying to think of another song


so I can fit in the other bloggers I read. Beth's Contradictory Brain just didn't have the right number of syllables to fit in right in the earlier one, and I'm not really sure how to pronounce Tritical, so they were left out, among others. Please don't think I don't love you, I only have limited imagination!

Posted by Beth at 06:44 PM


ummm, well, yeah, could be


Starch
You are starch. You are rigid, opinionated, hard-
willed and not too friendly about it. You keep
people out of places, or you keep them in, and
without you a lot of things would collapse.
hopefully you'll never have the authority to
burn people at the stake. Sir. Ma'am.


Which Biological Molecule Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Posted by Beth at 02:55 PM

December 09, 2003


I am shopping!


I have to work all the time, out of town at that, so I'm shopping now. Found Andy's stuff on Amazon.com. John is impossible to buy for .. I can't afford any guns he wants anymore, we have all the cheap one already.

The best thing about shopping on line is that I can have someone else wrap the gifts and deliver them. I have to figure out what to get for my 16 year old niece and her 18 year old brother who live in Buffalo, New York - suggestions are welcome.

Posted by Beth at 08:59 PM


patterns



What Pattern Are You?

Got this one from LeeAnn!

Posted by Beth at 07:07 AM

December 07, 2003


And the winner is:


Eric!
Out of 50 votes total, Eric's design got 15.
So, Eric will be getting a tin of bourbon balls and pecan balls, but I won't be able to make them until next weekend, as I leave for North Carolina early tomorrow morning.

Congrats, Eric, you are the best Nekkid Blogger designer around!

Posted by Beth at 11:05 PM

November 30, 2003


Acidman's Sunday Seven


sunday seven
1) Did you ever find yourself totally in love with someone? What was it that really attracted you to them?
Yes, my husband, John. We met over the internet, and I was totally attracted to his writing. He has an incredible sense of humor, and he does great cyber-sex.

2) Have you ever driven a car at a speed in excess of 100 MPH? If so, did you enjoy the experience?
Yes. When I was about 18. It wasn't really intentional, I just looked down, and I was going way to fast, so I slowed back down to about 75.

3) What was the first alcoholic beverage you ever drank? (If you answer "sloe gin," you are disqualified.)
Beer. I was brought up on beer. My daddy worked for a brewery, and made sure that I acquired the taste.

4) How old were you when you lost your virginity?
19 - I was a sophomore in college. Had plenty of opportunities before that, but no one who seemed worth the while, and I was right.

5) How often do you have really crazy dreams that make perfect sense while you are dreaming them?
Nightly. I have always had crazy ass dreams. They always make sense until I wake up.

6) What is the CRAZIEST thing you ever dreamed that made perfect sense as you dreamed it?
John and I were working in a large room that looked like a library. Beautiful rich wood walls, shelves, molding and huge doors made up this room. There were a lot of bosstype people around who spied on everyone's every moment.
It seemed that our jobs consisted of looking in a book and copying down numbers. I recall being bored shitless, but I needed the money, so I had to look interested.
Finally, at lunch time, John and I ran outside and jumped on a hydroplane boat and took off on the river and ended up at Lake Tahoe.
That is pretty far from Kansas!

7)If you could change one thing about your physical appearence, what would it be?
well, let's see - I would be thinner, quite a bit thinner, a size 10 or 12 - that's fat for a lot of 20 and 30 somethings, but I look good in a 10 or 12. I am one of those curvey wimmen.

Posted by Beth at 03:39 PM


oooohhh - cookies!


You are a chocolate mint cookie.
What Kind of Cookie Are You?

brought to you by Quizilla

Stoen from Kate - who has great stuff to steal!

Posted by Beth at 03:23 PM

November 29, 2003


Friday Five - yeah, a day late


1. Do you like to shop? Why or why not?
That depends. I love to shop at odd little stores, I hate to shop in malls. I love to shop on the internet, but I hate catalogs. Amazon.com saves me every Christmas as I'm desperately picking out last minute gifts that they will wrap and deliver.
There are a couple of exceptions - I love Kohls and Bed Bath and Beyond.

2. What was the last thing you purchased?
A turkey fryer on sale at K-Mart. Got it after Thanksgiving, I will try it at Christmas.

3. Do you prefer shopping online or at an actual store? Why?
For clothes, going to an actual store is pretty much required.
For nearly everything else, the Internet is king.

4. Did you get an allowance as a child? How much was it?

I got $2.00 a week until I went to college, then I got $10.00. At least half of that had to go into the piggy bank.
Once a year we would break the bank and take it to the bank. I had enough to buy a used car when I was 21.

5. What was the last thing you regret purchasing?
We bought my mother-in-law's old car. I was assured by John, his parents, et.al that it was in perfect shape and lovingly cared for. We gave him mom $2,000 for said car two years ago. Since then we have spent over $4000 on repairs for the damned thing!
I will never buy a used car again!

Posted by Beth at 06:52 AM

November 28, 2003


I have always tried to embrace my inner bitch


Unloved
You are a seductress! You use your beautiful body
and hypnotizing eyes to reel in your prey, and
go in for the kill after they have fallen in
love with you. It is truely a fatal attraction
that kills them. Perhaps, you sometimes fall in
love yourself. Behold the power of woman!


What Kind Of Evil Bitch Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Posted by Beth at 05:32 PM

November 25, 2003


I need a bloggin' nekkid


logo. I can think of silly things in my head, but I am no computer artist. I imagine a nekkid person sitting on a chair facing a computer, only we only see it from the back. What a bad description. Ok, let me try this - one of those lumpy comic like characters you see in the Sunday comics. I dunno.
But it would have to be silly.
Maybe Eric could draw it?
Helen said she would join, that alone should bring in most of the men of the blogging world - they would all wanna join!

Posted by Beth at 05:33 AM

November 23, 2003


author, author


Flannery O'Connor
Flannery O'Connor wrote your book. Not much escapes
your notice.


Which Author's Fiction are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Posted by Beth at 05:08 PM


it's a burger king christmas


Ok, I stole this from Kate Spot BKHoliday.

But it was worth stealing!

I used to really love the Carol of the Bells, but now ....

Posted by Beth at 03:53 PM

November 21, 2003


Which door do you want?


Apparently, LeeAnn's screen door - I've said it before, and I repeat - LeeAnn tells the bestest, funniest stories on the internet, and they all appear to be true - go read about LeeAnn's crazy neighbors - I guarantee you will giggle and whatever you are drinking will shoot out your nose. The Cheese Stands Alone: Local Loons

Posted by Beth at 09:56 PM


well, maybe


You are Persphone-
You are Persephone, from "The Matrix."
Tough cookie, you are, yet there are strains of
sadness and desire that lie beneath you- of
course, you wouldn't want anyone to know.
You're too busy putting up a facade.


What Matrix Persona Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Posted by Beth at 04:23 PM

November 20, 2003


you suck, not me!


you suck, and that's sad
you are the "you suck, and that's sad"
happy bunny. your truthful, but can be a bit
brutal.


which happy bunny are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Posted by Beth at 07:47 PM

November 15, 2003


Office Space



Pre-Hyptnotized Peter


What Office Space character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Thanks to Michele for the link.

Posted by Beth at 10:32 AM

November 13, 2003


well, that's just great


I'm a fricking lime tree:

LIME TREE (the Doubt) - accepts what life dishes out in a composed way,
hates fighting, stress, and labor, dislikes laziness and idleness, soft and
relenting, makes sacrifices for friends, many talents but not tenacious
enough to make them blossom, often wailing and complaining, very jealous but
loyal.

Gee, thanks, LeeAnn!


Don't let John see this! He will think you are the queen of the Gypsies.

Posted by Beth at 06:06 PM

November 08, 2003


Oh, how I wish I was as funny as`


LeeAnn! . Every day, I get at least one good giggle from her.
If I was as funny as LeeAnn, my stories of England would cause you all to snort milk out of your noses.
But I'm not.
However, you don't get out of hearing about my trip.

This is what I learned from my trip to England:
1. Bring your own toilet paper, Charmin Ultra, if possible. The English must have the toughest bottoms on the face of the earth. Even at the very nice hotel we stayed in, the toilet paper was like sandpaper. I walked funny the entire time, and to my husband's disappointment, it was due to the toilet paper!

2. All British Children are extraordinarily beautiful - at least up to about age 18. I don't know where they go after that, or what happens to them, but all the children have beautiful faces, gorgeous skin and twinkling eyes. Doesn't matter what color they are, they are all absolutely gorgeous.

3. British adult men are of two types (or at least obvious types - there may be more, I was only there for 5 days, after all). 1- the men who used to play rugby or football, and have many tatoos and piercings ,and are running to more flab than I have ever imagined, and 2 - tight lipped business men who are still very polite and will listen to the most obnoxious drunk in a pub with great magnanimity.

4. There are a lot of sweet old British grandmas with lapdogs - they take them on the train, the underground, shopping, everywhere. Lots of King Charles Spaniels, and Corgis. I didn't see one old lady with a Black Labrador, Newfoundland or even a Golden Retriever.

5. Everyone gets to have a beer at lunch. I like that.

6. Ok, this is for women - I had an 'opportunity' to purchase some women's feminine products. Oh. my. God. It cost 2 pounds to get 6 tampons - and they are each about the size of the last two joints of my baby finger, and about 1/2 the width. And no applicator. I kept them, can't use them, have no idea if British Women are built that much differently of if these things balloon out about 5 times their size to be normal. I'm scared to try!

7. Bathrooms are never on the ground floor. They are always upstairs or downstairs. I don't understand why, but that is just the way it is.

8. Harrods is a really big department store. Really, really, really big. Many people. They must do a shitload of business. They sell everything, probably even some kind of designer shit. They have siamese kittens, hams, oysters, diamonds, toys, clothes, clothes, clothes, and guards - a zillion guards - there is a guard every 15 feet in that store. I spent money there on gifts - food gifts, mostly, and a couple of Christmas ornaments.

9. The British people are very polite, very nice, and very patient, unless they are Asian or Middle Eastern men - then they are the opposite. Rude, pushy, scarey.

10. Steps. Steps. Steps. There are steps everywhere. And they are often narrow, tiny, steps - and of course this is because everything is incredibly old and beautiful. The architecture is amazing. Newer homes are older than the State of Kansas.

Well, there is more, but I have to go and run an errand or two. I'm glad I live here, the toilet paper situation alone would kill me.

Posted by Beth at 02:18 PM

November 06, 2003


I'm glad I'm not an Oscar Mayer Weiner


at least not in this truck in Iowa.
For if I were an Oscar Mayer Weiner.
I'd be burnt to nothing but an ash.

Yeah, yeah, yeah - it doesn't rhyme - what the hell rhymes with Iowa anyway?

Posted by Beth at 03:33 PM

October 26, 2003


good take on time savings


or Daylight Savings Time onThe Enigmatic Musings of a Cynical Mind
It's blogspot, so scroll down to Daylight Savings Time if the link doesn't quite work.

Posted by Beth at 11:30 AM

October 25, 2003


squirrel tag


This is extremely funny. I have been giggling for five minutes. hee hee hee hee The way of the squirrel

Thanks very much to Jonah Goldberg and Cosmo of The Corner on NRO.

Posted by Beth at 08:44 PM

October 24, 2003


too funny - man sells ex-wife's beany babies


You must go to Ebay and see this - read the description - keep reading.

Could be Acidman, who knows? But, whoever this guy is, I'm glad he got some money for tools out of the deal!

eBay item 3146042998 (Ends Sep-22-03 08:37:31 PDT) - Collection of 26 Beanie Babies from Ex-Wife


Posted by Beth at 02:21 PM


I love Frank J.


He is such a fantastically funny writer: IMAO: In My World: Bush Haters of the World Unite!

Posted by Beth at 07:33 AM

October 17, 2003


This marriage will last a long time


Demi Moore plans to wed her toyboy Ashton Kutcher.

Posted by Beth at 03:00 PM

October 15, 2003


This is very very funny


Primal Purge :: where fragments and wicked retahded syntax collide: Debbie Does Dusting.

Thanks to Pamibe for that one

Posted by Beth at 06:56 AM

October 04, 2003


Cheddar X Time again - and I'm late


1. Where would you be if you were in a band?
I would be the back up girl singer. I can harmonize pretty well, but I'm definitely an alto, not a soprano - can't hit high notes.

2. What compels people to obey the law, the desire to avoid prison or caring for their fellow man? Why? Why not?
This is a tough one. There are some laws that are stupid. I like to hope that most of use care for our fellow man, but really, we are all pretty damned selfish.
Being selfish as we are, it's probably to keep ourselves out of prison - or in my case, it is my conscience that makes me feel guilty all the time anyway.
It's that Irish Catholic guilt thing my parents laid on me. Oh, and the nuns. The Jesuit priests in college tried their damndest to make me a secular humanist, but the guilt thing just won't go away.... ever. So if I want to live with myself, I mostly have to behave.

3. What's your favorite secret trick or shortcut either you can do or you know about?

Secret trick. hmmm. I'm not sure if I even have one, and you want to know my favorite? geeze. I have double jointed thumbs, but that's kinda dumb. I can speek in rhyme all day long (and sometimes do in my head) but that's a little scary, a secret I should keep - along with counting how many steps from the parking lot to my cubicle at work.

Oh, oh, I know - my best secret trick is nodding my head and listening to my coworkers and making them think that I have some idea of what the hell they are talking about, especially when talking about computer hardware or some tv show they watch. None of them really know that I'm not listening.

4. There has recently been quite a bit of exposure regarding biased reporting from Iraq. Is it the responsibility of the news agencies to report good news as well as bad news?

We have a free press here, thankfully - so they don't really have any responsibility at all - and they have proved that quite well in Iraq. They have a lot of political and monetary motivations that some people don't understand.

I think it is the responsibility of Americans to search behind the nattering nabobs of negatism (thank you William Safire - that has been my favorite line for years - even though you wrote it for that stinky Agnew!) to discover the news - we can do that these days with the internet, mass communications, etc.

5. What should the age of consent be and why?

16 sounds fair.

6. Are you a Stealth Blogger? That is, do you let the people in your life know you blog? If so, why? If not, why not?

Well, John and Andy and August know about it. A couple of my co-workers know about it. I'm not one of those angry wives blogging to complain about her horrid husband without his knowledge. I have seen too many of those blogs, and though I feel for the wives, this is the 21st Century - they can get out of evil bad relationships, and they can make it themselves. This is where I disagree with a lot of religions conservatives. Divorce can be a very healthy thing for people and the children.

Posted by Beth at 08:51 AM

October 03, 2003


More from the Cheese Stands Alone!


Go read The Cheese Stands Alone: LeeAnn's Day Out, Part Three

LeeAnn can write a very funny story. I now start with her in the morning instead of Lileks. Not that I will quit reading the Bleat, but LeeAnn just makes me flat out laugh.

Posted by Beth at 06:54 AM

October 02, 2003


Halloween House


Here in Leavenworth, some families really go overboard for Halloween. I will be posting pictures of those houses as the month rolls on.

This one is probably the cheesiest of the bunch. They had the decorations up the day after Labor Day. The day after Halloween, they will have all the Christmas stuff up, the day after Christmas, the Valentine's Day stuff will be there - then St. Pats, then Easter, and so on and so on and so on.

Posted by Beth at 08:45 PM


Thanks to Da Goddess for linking to


The Cheese Stands Alone

Links to the funniest things I've seen on the web.

The Cheese Stands Alone will be one of my daily reads now.

Posted by Beth at 11:39 AM

September 30, 2003


Cheddar X Picture of Town


Here is my belated picture for last week's Cheddar X - A picture of our town, Leavenworth, Kansas:

Posted by Beth at 06:32 AM