Roosters have feelings too! | Main | Helga is back!

January 11, 2008

Farms make you exercise! (or what happened to Helga?)

So, today I planned to rearrange the living room, do some laundry, vacuum and clean the bathrooms when I got back from my massage/haircut/color job on my gray hair. It's no longer gray, but that is about the only thing I got done today because of .....

Critters. The critters made my afternoon crazy. I'm so pooped that I just poured myself a glass of wine, hoping to slow my heart rate to a normal speed after running all through the pasture, barn yard, front yard and back yard.

It started out as a walk out to the pasture to check on the horses - I had not laid eyes on all of them at once for a couple of days (they really like the far side behind a hill or two and the pond and the woods). Gunner, as always, needed some exercise, so I took him with me. Kiki followed slowly behind (she has a neurological injury that affects her left rear leg, so we are trying to keep her as quiet as possible to see if the steroids she is taking can help her).

And yes, I love parentheticals. I think that way (you know, always going off on tangents).

Anyway, the dogs and I headed across the road that bisects our land and I climbed through the barbed wire fence to go check out the horses and to cut the nylon cover on the round bale off, so the horses can get at the hay. Gunner and Kiki were very, very good, and stayed right with me. This end of the pasture is a soggy, muddy mess. The snow and ice and rain of the last few weeks have really done a number on it, so it is treacherous going.

We made our way over to the small stock pond, and I spotted Willy, grazing. Pretty soon, he saw me and started to stroll over to say hi. Pretty soon, all 12 horses came over to check me out. I pet them and checked to verify that Petey still had his shoes on (if you have never owned a horse who needs shoes, mud is the number one cause of lost horseshoes - it just sucks the shoes off their hooves!)

Gunner and Kiki were still being very good, in fact Gunner was just laying down watching.

When I was done with the horses, I headed back toward the barn, Gunner ran ahead and lost his fricking head and chased after the guineas and chickens (they all free range from morning until sunset.)

Damnit! Gunner cannot resist trying to "herd" the guineas and chickens. By the time I had sloshed through the mud and puddles in the pasture to the barn, Gunner was no longer in sight. I called and called and called, but he must have been ignoring me, as he did not come back. It was then that I realized I was missing one of my hens, Helga. She lays the prettiest brown speckled eggs, and she is the biggest of the hens.

I started searching for her - the other hens and Rocky the Rooster, following as I checked under bushes and behind the barn and in the coop.

I was getting pretty damn mad at Gunner - had he killed my lovely Helga?

I didn't even try to count the Guineas - they had flown off in several directions, ungraceful as they are, and they can normally get up into a tree to avoid bad, misbehaving dogs who think they can herd birds.

I gave up, and went into the house, with the intention of feeding the cats and Kiki, the only obedient dog around this farm!

I figured I'd go out on the deck to see if I could locate Gunner or Helga from a higher spot.

I spotted Gunner, about halfway down a rather treacherous hill behind the house. I called him, and he did not move. I thought, "Oh, shit, he must be feasting on Helga, my wonderful big, black hen who lays the best eggs ever".

I called him and called him, and he would not move one iota. Damn dog. So I walked down the hill to grab him and make him come up to the house.

I was about 2 yards away, and I saw a bird - only it was a guinea, not my hen. Gunner was very proud of himself - he had found the guinea and would not leave it to come to me. I was afraid that the bird was dead (it was Bill, the Guinea). But as I got closer, I could see the bird breathing, playing dead, I think. I picked him up, and his eyes opened and I could feel his little heart beating like crazy. I carried him up the hill, checking him out, and I saw that there were no visible wounds, and there did not appear to be any broken bones. Gunner continued to walk with me to the Chicken/Guinea Run of Argghhh! I set Bill down by the bird food, and he stood up, and ran into the coop. So he is okay. Apparently Gunner felt it was his job to watch over him, after he scared him half to death!

So, now I'm not sure if Gunner is responsible for the absence of Helga or not. He just ate all his dog food, so whatever the case, he didn't eat her. I guess I'll just have to wait and see if she shows up for dinner tonight. (her dinner, not mine).

I did find a piece of a Chinese newspaper on the ground close to the Run of Argghhh!- could a Chinese chef have come and stolen my hen? Is this the beginning of a true mystery, or a murder story?

Or is Helga safely in the bushes across the street, with the horses?

Stay tuned ...

Posted by Beth at January 11, 2008 4:34 PM

Comments

Posted by: Wendy at January 11, 2008 7:00 PM