Off to Houston | Main | Poor John
July 24, 2005
Biggest mistake of my life
Way back in 1993, I had an internet relationship with a guy named Don Lewis. He was funny and clever. We began talking on the phone, and I sent him a picture of myself.
He never sent me a picture of himself. He wrote me love letters and sent me cassette tapes of music he liked. He decided to come to see me, and the day before he flew in, he told me that he was over 300 pounds and he was embarrassed to meet me..
Well, I figured that what is inside a person is more important than what is outside, so I told him it didn't matter, I still wanted to meet him.
And if nothing else, it was very easy to figure out who he was when he got off the plane.
Anyway, Don ended up being kinda odd. After that weekend, we never saw each other again. We had some rather upsetting phone conversations, and in a few weeks, he dumped me, which was okay with me, as he had a big problem with alchohol and drugs.
Not long after that, I met John - the love of my life. One would think that there the story ends, no?
No. Not long after I started blogging, my Golden Retriever died. Somehow Don must have been googling for me or my dog and he found my blog. He left obscene, rude comments. I would block his IP and he would not bother the blog for awhile. Then he would pop up again, with more rude, uncalled for comments.
It has been probably 9 or 10 months since the asshat had managed to leave comments. Then this afternoon, after I checked into my hotel room and turned on my laptop to do some work, I found that he had left another comment. This time, he went after John - making rude remarks about the fact that John is a disabled veteran, and his typical remarks about how undesirable I am.
Now, my friends - think about this. What kind of a man stalks a 52 year old female blogger that he spent one weekend with in 1993?
What kind of a man thinks that it's fun to make fun of someone's disability.
I will tell you this - John with his disabilities and all - is 100 times the man Don Lewis has ever been - in every way.
So, ladies, if you meet some smooth talking Southerner on the internet and his name is Don Lewis - run, run, run. The man is obviously mentally disturbed.
Before you agree to meet someone, insist on a picture. Better yet, see if you can find out more about him - pay to have a check done on him. You never, ever know what kind of a nut someone might end up being.
It's been over 12 years since I last saw this guy. Makes you wonder, doesn't it?
Posted by Beth at July 24, 2005 10:22 PM
Comments
Good God, Beth - Again?
OK, I haven't looked at thedonovan yet, to see what's going on, but it strikes me as pretty damn near obscene that this scumbag is still trolling around looking for you.
While it's entirely unecessary, as John is among those I'd count among the most able to take care of himself and you, please God let this jackass find himself in one of Georgia's many remote locations, with me nearby.
Please.
- D
Posted by: Donnie at July 24, 2005 11:16 PM
You didn't have a relationship with this jerk. Any relationship you did have was with an imaginary person. He used the anonymity of the Internet to create a false version of himself that he couldn't keep up in person.
Your advise to have someone checked out before you meet is a good suggestion.
Posted by: marybeth at July 25, 2005 1:05 AM
This is why I have certain rules I follow. It is also why there's not much flirting going on in my blog. It may mean fewer readers, but it also means less drama.
Posted by: R U Serious at July 25, 2005 1:30 AM
Hi beth
I post at Johns regularly, and I read your site a lot, but I confess i rarely if ever post to you. A "lurker" if you will
I hate to hear this. John and yourself have been a real inspiration, and I envy you both, and applaud you as well.
For what its worth i just thought you might want to know that.
Eitherway, I hope what ever obsesses Mr Lewis comes to a very abrupt and swift end.
They say everyone gets their cumuppence in the end. I'm sure he will meet his one fine day.
Posted by: BloodSpite at July 25, 2005 5:34 AM
Oh Beth, I'm sorry, I read his comments, what a jerk...
Also read John's comments...you got a good man there, a real and true man, a real keeper.
Posted by: BeeBee at July 25, 2005 5:54 AM
OMG, what a wanker..
I met my Prince on the internet, but I kissed a frog, first. He was a real piece of shit. He phoned two years ago and got the shock of his sorry life when Alex answered.
It is unpleasant, but people who hide behind a screen are generally complete cowards. I would pity, and pray for him, but I am much too vindictive :-)
Posted by: Sally at July 25, 2005 7:03 AM
Aw, I don't want to hurt Don. He's a keeper!
No matter how bad I feel on any given day about any given thing... I always know that there is at least one person feeling worse about himself and the world...
Don.
No, no. If he can't find real happiness somewhere, well, then I wish him a truly long, long, long, long life of self-imposed misery!
I am *so* new age!
Posted by: John of Argghhh! at July 25, 2005 7:58 AM
Great advice about insisting on a picture, Beth. Thing is, do they have satellites that far out in space to be able to capture an image of Don?
(I know. I know. Down to his level and all. We can't all be as New Age as John. Grumble, grumble)
Posted by: Sally at July 25, 2005 4:24 PM
Beth - It's a shame that the loser found your blog, and continues to be a jerk. But at least you have John, who is a gem, and treats you like the lady you are :-)
Posted by: Barb at July 25, 2005 8:48 PM
Holy crap, that jerk is back? (Damn, I think I feel like I just aged myself on the blogosphere.)
He scares me, Beth. He really scares me. Y'all take care...
Posted by: Boudicca at July 25, 2005 9:40 PM
Thanks, all of you!
Donnie - last I heard (12 years ago) he lived in Savannah. I hope he is still in Georgia, because that is pretty far from Kansas!
Boudicca and BeeBee - he kinda scares me - but really, he is only to be pitied and scorned. And I do have a wonderful husband. God has been good to me!
Barb, you are a sweetie! I don't much feel like a lady these days!
Sally - oh my gosh, that was funny! I honestly do not find looks to be so important. Once you get to be my age, attractiveness and sexiness is all in the brain - and things are much better that way!
And R U Serious - the guy is a total asswipe. For the life of me, I can't figure out why he does this after 12 years and one really dumb weekend.
Mary Beth - well, I guess you are right - it was not much of a relationship - it was more of oh, golly, I'm single, will anyone ever love me thing for me.
Bloodspite - gosh - comment more often. My blog is not nearly as cool as John's - he is a lot smarter than me!
Posted by: Beth at July 25, 2005 10:17 PM
I'd say you've got the right of it:
"I will tell you this - John with his disabilities and all - is 100 times the man Don Lewis has ever been - in every way."
Posted by: FbL at July 26, 2005 8:10 AM
Let me know if you need this guy hit with a hammer...
Or I can hold him, and John can beat him with his cane... crutch... whatever...
*grin*
Posted by: Sgt. B. at July 26, 2005 4:01 PM
Oh, and something about, what was it? Oh yes:
"Only an idiot would bring a truck to a gunfight..."
Posted by: Sgt. B. at July 26, 2005 4:46 PM
Well, I'll say right out, from the beginning, that I'm not an out-of-shape weird fat guy. I'm an out-of-shape weird scrawny guy. The general run of wimmin don't seem to care for me, and the wimmin who seem to have wetware similar to mine don't seem to be able to put up with me for very long, either.
How's that, for an honest personal ad?
Oh, I have bad teeth too.
I still maintain the conceit that I am mostly harmless.
Posted by: Justthisguy at July 28, 2005 1:42 AM
What I think I was trying to say, above, was that some people have ideas about themselves not supported by reality. If I describe myself in cold, honest terms, colored by my natural Celtic gloominess, things can get only better from there. (Oh, the description of myself I gave is quite accurate. Feel free to email for really sordid details. If you find the sordid details attractive, well, uh, dang, shoulda caught me about 10 years ago.)
I have to look out for my aged Daddy at the moment. Cramps the libertine style, dontcha know.
On that note, I'm off to bed, so as to try to get up early tomorrow and do good works I'd rather I didn't need to do.
Posted by: Justthisguy at July 28, 2005 2:00 AM