HAPPY BIRTHDAY BETH!!!!

Alrighty - let's get going! Who's got the 'rita machine?

Somebody get the massage tables and chairs set up.

Get the cover off the hot tub.

Bill - leave the damn mangonel alone!

Send the Bedoodlewhoopies to pickup the cake... and if I see bedoodlewhoopie prints in that frosting *someone* is gonna get their booty kicked!

Scruples: go start rounding people up. Go to Cassies and tell her there's a party going on!

Hell, anyone else you can think of, too!

Let's git this thang organized, people! Moveitmoveitmoveit!

Fuzzybear - please go feed the moat monsters so they won't try to crash the buffet.

ZoomieSib - yer in charge of appetizers.

Cricket - you got the main event, yer the chef 'round here. But please, *some* fattening stuff, eh? Not just all that healthy stuff, even if you have good motivations there.

Bad Cat- get us some tunes going! And arrange for the Dancing Boys you know so much about.

Barb - get Neffi away from Fuzzybear and go get some wine, champagne (the good Denizen-stuff, not the stuff we visitors).

Huh? There's someone at the door?

Kewl! It's the Beer delivery! Bill - detail off some scruples to get that down in the beer keller, wouldja?

And Barb - get Neffi outta the beer keller and go get the hard stuff! C'mon, people, we're having a surprise party here.

Oh, hell, who's gonna put up the streamers and balloons 'n stuff?

Wheee! H-A-P-P-Y B-I-R-T-H-D-A-Y, Pretty Lady What Gives Cats Chin-Tickles!!! Name Scout got re-substantiated into Bigfoot's bod, now gots thumbses. Big-Tribble-With-Legs point at streamers, up going, balloons also (if really stay in character and fall off ladder like Bigfoot, just give cookie...)

>>hzzz. thought heard noise of partyings. name jake and name kc, all together:

>>HZZZZZ! HAPPY BIRTHINGSDAY, PLWGCC-T!!!

>>hz. name jake think mebbe nobody dig new acronym.

>>hzzz. name dimbulb, go fetch scrup'l butt over by streamers and give help bigfoot.

>>hzz. not bigfoot. is name scout what got--

>>hzzzz. whatever. move it or no cookie for week.

>>hz. gotcha.

[*scamper*]

>>hzz. name kc help offload kegses. not allow imbibe yet.

[*scamper*]

>>hzzzz. name muffy go give cat-things chin-skritches so not be underfoot when rest of hy-umuns gets here.

[*scamper*]

>>hz. i mean, Yay, Beth! Happy B-Day!! [*aside*] uhhh, it's a long story, john...

I figgered. I saw the pics going up as I was working this morning's stuff. Just dump the excess when yer done!

Hey, Bad Cat! Bring those huge jugs over here! We've got a use for 'em later...

>>Hz. john--fuzzybear lyonesse lady stuck outside comment party. check e-mail.

A very Happy Birthday wish from all my zoo to you.Don't work too hard today.

test

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Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday, dear Beeeeeeeeeettttttthhhhhhh.
Happy birthday to you!

PS... how did you get my picture? (I look remarkably like the one on the right... must be my patented "just rolled outta bed" look.

Yay! Barb is here--the chick with the big knockers!

*looking around* She *is*? I see Fuzzy got past the sensor 'bot finally, and I see LeeAnn, and Punctilious... and you, 'n me, and Pete and the scruples... but I don't see Barb anywhere. She hiding? Or have you 'outed' her?

[Oops! Sorry for the double post. Thanks for the help, guys]

Reporting for duty, with one question, what do moat monsters eat?

And...

Happy Birthday, Beth!!!

Fuzzy - anything they want, of course...

Anything they want, huh? You guys better be nice today (or at least stay away from the moat), or they might end up with an extra snack...

Okay, I'll feed them, then I gotta run. See y'all this evening... :)

Yeh- but they don't want Bill, or I. They learned that the hard way. Neffi though...

If you are having problems posting (the system is telling you aren't allowed) you are probably coming in from a banned IP. Long story. Short answer - if you are dial up, if you go out and log in again, you'll have a new IP - but before you do that - send me a note, which will have your current IP in it, so I can un-ban it. If you are using a cable modem, just reboot the modem. Or go into your router and release your DHCP and get a new IP.

//'allo? zis mus' be ze where zere ees ze--AHH! LA TRÉS BELLE BETH!! SI JOLIE!! clyde, attendez-moi--un, deux, trois:
'APPY BIRTH-JOUR à V-O-O-O-U-S,
'APPY BIRTH-JOUR à V-O-O-O-U-S!
'APPY BIRTH-JOUR CHÉRE B-E-E-E-T-H,
'APPY BIRTH-JOUR à V-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-U-S!!

//clyde, vite, vite--PARTAY! [*aside: crikey, yez lef' the cake in th' limo, dimmy! git it an' nip back in 'ere withawt scarfin' none o' that icin', neither!*]

A hush gradually creeps through the donjon, as a faint rumbling quickly deepens into the roaring crescendo of mighty aero engines... party-goers spill onto the ramparts, to see a Douglas DC-3 banking vertically over the keep {oh, sorry bout the flagpole, John). Twin P&W radials moan as the throttle comes back- flaps 10, now 20...the garishly painted bird side-slips at a steep angle toward the ground [the crowd gasps as one] but- flaps 30- with a deft flick of rudder straightens out and gently kisses the turf and rolls to a stop on the MG range, inches from the sandbag revetment... silvery props flicker and blur as they wind to a stop.
The daring pilot un-puckers himself from the seat and drops to the ground...
"Somebody order a Margarita-Matic?", gesturing toward the cargo doors. "My logo sez it all- Guaranteed Ontime, Neffi's Alcohol Delivery Service..." [sweeps off flying helmet, bows to cheering crowd} And Happy Birthday to The Better Half...

Happy Birthday, Beth!
I know I'm the new kid on the block but had to sent the wishes anyway.
In case you didn't know it, today is also the birthday of the Girl Scouts.
I'm still trying to figure out how to read scruples, and I'm a hell of a long way from writing them...
It's been a long day. I'm headed for the rack.
'nite all...

No worries, Keith - this party will still be going on when you get up!

Oh, gee, thanks, everyone! I'm really a bit embarrassed, I don't like being the center of attention - that is John's job!

Aaaaw... He cares enough NOT only to READ your blog, but demand our attendance at your birthday party too!!! Some girls have all the luck. ; )

Happy Birthday!

Tunes, yes sir! OK, Mixmaster BCR got ya covered. First a nice galliard to get the dancing boys in the mood, then some Mardi Gras music Made in Brazil, a handful of Strauss waltzes, and "Enter Sandman" while I go dig out my copy of "Bennie Goodman at Carnegie Hall". Oh, and Beth, let me introduce Hideo, George, and Alan who will be your dancing boys tonight.
ParTAY!

3 dancing partners?

Happy Birthday, Beth!!!! :)

John gave me my gifts! I got the first season of CSI on DVD - my very favorite TV show ever - and The Meaning of Life (DVD)

Now I can have something to do whilst flying around the country!

The Meaning of Life- good flick. ummm Beth... you didn't make salmon mousse for the party, I hope...? Hey- someone's banging at the door, don't let him in!!! hehe

Happy Birthday!!!! I'm sure John and the critters will treat you right and make all your drinks just the way you like them :-)

Sparklers. I've got lots of pretty sparklers for the party.

Uh... John... *slightly embarrassed look on face* ... am I still allowed to bring sparklers after that whole thing with the firetruck? I told you I was sorry about that didn't I? ... well if not, I've got a coupla those glow in the dark thingys left...

Happy birthday, you old fart.

Sparklers are fine. We replaced those tapestries anyway. It *would* have been nice had you not *started* your fire in the *original* Bayeux Tapestry. We got a new one, from the same guy who faked the original so we could have it...

Besides, don't you have *anything* that explodes? Surely Rammer isn't *that* much of a wuss... even given he works for a competitor...

Ah, Acidman, ever the fella with the sweet nothings!

Well, I guess I am an old fart - but I don't think I'm quite as old a fart as Acidman is!

oh, I like sparklers, by the way.

hzz. that'll be just about enough of the "old fart" snarks, thank you very #@$%ing much...grumpf.

Happy Birthday! I'm having a drink for you right now, mmmm, it's good too.

Perhaps I could locate some of those pretty airborn sparklers for the occassion.

Ever'body in the howwwwse say PAAARRRR-TAAYYY!

Schwing! Happy Birthday, SWWBO! And true to your name, your wish is our command...

for the next 5 hours at least, and then it's back to....your wish is our command again.

hehehe...I'm glad to see Neffi's GONAD service brought the Marg-Matic. Serve one up, baby! slurp slurp slurp stumble stumble stumble - sorry- really tired so the tequila went right to my head...

I had been drinking some champagne, but you know, I think I could do with a Margarita about now - maybe a Mexican Martini!

Yes, Dear!

Thank you, Handsome!

Happy Birthday to you.
Happy Birthday to you.
Happy Birthday dear-nice-lady-who-reads-what-I-write-and-still-seems-to-tolerate-me-anyway,
Happy Birthday Dear Beth!

[wanders in from Security Command and Control Center, munching coconut n' Spam hoagie] Say, Beth... oops! sorry... John, finishing 'serving' that drink, willya? Anyhoo, the security cam took a pic of something out by the portcullis; she sez she has an invite but when I ask her name she just sez 'where kitten where kitten', so I think the poor thing has lost her pet...

Paaaarrr TAY!

Where kitten... Snort... Snuffle... honk... Clearing tasty rita-matic juice from nose.

Come on Neffi, Let 'er in. What's one more set of paw prints on the ole facade anyway?

By the way... The middle spud prepared spam for dinner. At least it was with mac and cheese rather than coconut and rye.

Oh where, Oh where has my were-kitten gone...

Oh where, Oh where can she be????

whaaa whaa sniff sniff snort....gotta kleenex?

HUH? What's that Neffi? You found my sweet little winged baby with giant fangs? You are the BEST! Oh man, I love you, Neffi!

It's hard to keep her from getting stoned when I'm not around to keep her out of-, oh damn... Too late... stoned again are you, you little bad cat! You want to do some hard time? I'll show you hard time!

HEY! Get away from my appetizer tray- I don't care how bad you have the munchies!

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPY BIRTHDAY!

Now, I do realize that the happy couple ought to moderate their consumption, and titrate their BAC, striving more for mellowness and duration than intensity, so as to make the good time last longer;

How. Ever.

That's no reason for the rest of us not to engage in dangerous drinking of dangerous drinks. (Jest figurative and virtual, ya know)

Myself, had I been warned this was coming, I would have laid in a supply of gin and Champagne, to make French 75s, my favorite dangerous drink.

Velociman, are you reading this? Let's get arrestible and certifiable on some of that there Artillery Punch!

Let us drink only explosively dangerous drinks having to do with Artillery, though we only do so virtually!

(Does an Armored Diesel count, or is that just a nasty Tanker drink?)

"hzz. that'll be just about enough of the "old fart" snarks, thank you very #@$%ing much...grumpf."

Feeling a little sensitive on the subject, Bill? *wink and grin*

"hzz. that'll be just about enough of the "old fart" snarks, thank you very #@$%ing much...grumpf."

Huh? I thought Neffi was the Old Fart around here... *smirk*

[starts in surprise] Old Fart?! ahh, little corn-fed civilian girlie... so little you know. I have many co-workers and friends far older than I, though they were born later... people who have never travelled, never served in the Combat Arms, would not think of throwing themselves out of a perfectly good airplane, nor experienced the thrill of 'slipping the surly bonds' with their hands on the stick... people who know not the simple satisfaction of canoeing, or the calm beauty of watching trout rise, having put away the rod simply to watch the grace and beauty of Nature at her finest.... [sighs and grabs 'Rita hose] past yer curfew, Lioness? - weze partying here!!!

Neffi is known in civilian life as Walter Mitty. ;-)
Pocketa pocketa!

[charges dart pistol, empties flask of cheap bourbon] hehe Lezz party....

As usual I'm late...but Happy Happy Birthday Beth!! Someone point me in the direction of the bar, I wanna buy this woman a drink! Margarita - top shelf right? :-)

I hope this is the best year yet Beth. May all your dreams come true!!!

Speaking of rising to the bait, Neffi...

I think that worked pretty well! *smirk*

Lezz party? Dang, that never happened before. I didn't know you gurls were like that!

[sets Margarita-Matic feed to 'full auto', selector switch to 'top shelf' (costs more than $1.50/gallon)] Good timing Tammi!

smirk this, Lioness [sprays with Margarita hose] hehe yer tails a bit wet, m'dear. Allow me...

Awww, Neffi, you know I'm teasing. :) Besides, I tend to prefer a man with a few years of experience to draw on... ;)

You know, Neffi, a towel might help...

Towel? oh yeah, a towel... thats my thought too hehehehe [scrapes fur off tongue]

heh Neffi- remember the sign in the old barhouses- LIKKER up front; POKER in the rear

Pervert, eh? Back off, knave- throws protective cloak around shoulders of Lioness- there there, you're safe now [strokes mustache]

(wondering to self, at least until I get on a them top-shelf margueritas from Neffi the 'Rita Rangler)

Neffi called someone *else* a knave? Whoa ... Well, I guess he'd know ;-) Now calm down, sweets. You know us girls like a bad boy, right?

Lioness, watch your six! Do not, under any circumstances, go up to view his etchings!

Happy Birthday, Beth!!

Sorry I'm late - left the house 13 hours ago, just got back.

Neffi - how many personalities are you bringing to this party, Eh?

Happy Birthday Beth!!!!!!

I hope you are gonna get seriously laid tonight!! (and then not so seriously)

Hmmm... well Barb, I don't such bring my personalities as they bring me. [inhales 'elephant' dose of lithium] aaaaaaah OK where were we- oh yeah, I was stroking my 'mustache' hehe

Mustache? How did I miss THAT? Definite "Old Fart" indicator...

mustache in parenthesis, Lioness hehe [cuddles closer under cloak]

And Neffi, stop licking the cat's bed... You just get fur on your tongue!

Come over and sit next to me, instead.

fur on the tongue is way better than fur on the d**k.

And I have *no idea* what she's talking about!

*hurries off red-faced*

Fashionably late to the party (blame the flu) but that doesn't dampen the wishes! Happy Birthday, Beth!

John, I don't EITHER--and I don't think I WANT to!

*joining John in the red-faced running*

Um, Fuzzy - I'm running off to join Beth...

An Anonymous Anthem 4U

Sing a song of Birthdays
Full of fun and cheer
And may you keep on having them
For many a happy year.

Best wishes to you and yours.

well, you see - we used to have a couple of very hairy dogs - chows, they were - and they shed everywhere, and their sheded hair was like velcro - it would stick to anything - and it kinda flew through the air and stuck to all sorts of things.

That is what I meant.

Sheesh, in drops the Paladin with *sweetness and light*... Hiya, Dude!

Oops!

Um, yeah, like, er, "what she said..."

Dangit! I was trying to be pertinent, and maybe a bit witty, and these gurls barge in here and get all coozy-gooshy-kissy-touchy-feely!
Ugghh! Girl cooties!

[*looking a little nervous and a little embarrassed*]

I think I'll just sit here in the corner and shut up up for a while...

And that, JTG, explains an *awful lot* about how you spend your weekends...

Fuzzy, c'mon, back into the light. I saw Neffi lurking over there earlier...

[*dashing out of the corner and over to John*] You still got any of those padded chandeliers up? I need a one-seater.

[strolls in from range, having shooed assorted scruples out of the cockpit of the Dakota] Danged varmints- sittin' there makin' airplane noises and pawing the controls... good thing I locked out the master switch.. grumble. HEY! What's all this sleazy double-entendre sexy-type talk going around?! Why Lioness... yer blushing... jus cuz Beth was talking about fur on the *deck*? Yer so cute...

Hey, speak for yerself, Mr. Arty Officer! If you were doin' the right thing by that nice lady, I misdoubt you'd have time to exchange light banter with silly electronic ghosts.

(Though I do believe I have a physical instantiation)

In other words,

"Get to work, you!"

Good point, JTG- but they may have a 'puter in the bedroom... and know enuff to take a breather twixt bouts... of cribbage, I mean, dontchaknow- nudge nudge, a nod's as good as a wink to blind horse, knowwhatImean, squire eh? eh?

well, we do have a wireless network and at least two laptops around the house - we could be anywhere - anywhere!

and... having tied down the Dak- I shall retire for the night. Beth- all America thanks you for having taken The Armourer off the streets... Happy Natal Day to yourself; and may you see many more in happiness and fullfilment. Your servant, madam...

What Neffi said, and I wish y'all many happy returns of the day.
I'm off. (no references to how I smell, please)

Nigh T Night.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

Happy Birthday Beth! I'm always late to the parties but not any less enthusiastic! (Work sucks.)

I hope you had the bestest day, yet!

xoxo
M

I know I'm late, but, happy birthday!

I'm late, too...

Happy birthday!

Well I would be remiss if I did not take a moment to say, Happy Birthday! I am the Queens Mother in Law...(I know, eeeee Gads!). Yep, I am Dean's Ma and I see Rosemary always chatting with you. I bet she would love living near you as she posted you were the most wonderful person in the world. She has a style and you do to!

Woo-hoo! Dean's Mom! Scoooorrre!

Yer daughter-in-law is pretty sweet, too. Dean, well, we're manly men 'round here, so I'll just say, "Dean's Kewl"!

Well, in honor of the Natal Day of SWWBO, I offer the following:
First, Happy Birthday and you done good raisin' John.

Next, for your gnoshing pleasure I have the following menu:

French toast made from brioche and served with sliced strawberries, and for that little something extra, some raspberry syrup with a shot of Southern Comfort.
Billionaire bacon
fresh fruit salad
Fresh squeezed orange juice.

Luncheon:
Grilled roast beef with pesto on sourdough sandwiches. Cottage fries and cole slaw.
Beer of your choice, or lemonade or Dr. Pepper.

Dinner:
Clam Chowder (New England style)
corn fritters
apple crisp

*smack* *smack* *smack* hmmm... please to further elaborate on "Billionaire Bacon?"

Happy Birfday!

Happy, happy Birthday Beth. Sorry I missed it :)

I will. I only post menus of things I have actually made, without alcohol. I don't drink and I don't use wine in cooking. I added the splash of Southern Comfort and beer for the readers.

However, I am an amatuer foodie and chef wannabe. I have willing guinea pigs in my family, and lately it has been, "Mom, do we HAVE to go out to eat? Can't we stay home?" So, I subscribe to good cooking magazines, and one of the better ones is "Savuer."

They had an article on bacon, and yadda yadda why it was bad for you and when, blah blah blah, and then they went and published their recipe for 'Billionaire Bacon.' Oh man, is it good and you could even garnish a Hot Brown with it...uuuuuummmmmmmm.

So, here it is from pages of March 2005 Saveur:

Billionaire's Bacon:
The late chef and food consultant Gene Hovis gave the reicpe for this decadent appetizer to Mortimer's in New York City; that restaurant's successor, Swifty's, still serves it at socktail parties both on premises and off.

Separate strips from one pound of bacon and blot dry with paper towels. Put 1 1/2 cups of brown sugar in a wide dish. Coat both sides of bacon in sugar, firmly pressing sugar onto each strip. Lay bacon on sheet pans as coated (some sugar will fall off). Cook bacon in a preheated 425 oven, turning once, until browned and lacquered, about 10-15 minutes.
(you will need to watch it, as if you use a cookie sheet, put foil on the botton of the oven so that the grease doesn't make a horrific mess. You will also need to watch it to make sure it doesn't burn.)

That last tip is mine...speaking from experience. It is good, and rich and one you can add to your sports list.

*drunken voice from somewhere over at the Firebase*

(Tune: The Volga Boat Song)
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday...
May the candles of your cake,
Burn like cities in your wake,
Happy Birthday...

Happy B-day, dear Lady!

I'm HORRIBLY late, but still wishing you the very best!

Hugs,
J