Carnival of the Recipes #21 | Main | Opinion Payola
January 7, 2005
Why do men pee standing up?
God was just about done creating man, but he had two things left over in his bag and He couldn't quite decide how to split them between Adam and Eve.
He thought He might just as well ask them. He told them one of the things He had left was a thing that would allow the owner to pee while standing up.
"It's a very handy thing," God told them, "and I was wondering if either one of you had a preference for it."
Well, Adam jumped up and down and begged, "Oh, please give that to me! I'd love to be able to do that! It seems like just the sort of thing a man should have. Please! Pleeease! Give it to me!" On and on he went like an excited little boy. Eve just smiled and told God that if Adam really wanted it so badly, he could have it. So God gave Adam the thing that allowed him to pee standing up. Adam was so excited he just started whizzing all over the place first on the side of a rock, then he wrote his name in the sand, and then he tried to see if he could hit a stump ten feet away - laughing with delight all the while.
God and Eve watched him with amusement and then God said to Eve, "Well,I guess you're kind of stuck with the last thing I have left."What's it called?" asked Eve. "Brains", said God.
Hat tip to my friend, Yvonne!
Posted by Beth at January 7, 2005 5:44 PM
Comments
The same joke is also told with "multiple orgasms" as the punch line, which is even more devestating.
It is unfortunate that restrooms.org seems to have dropped their page of instructions for women on how to pee standing up.
Posted by: triticale at January 8, 2005 6:37 PM
Gee, triticale - I'm not too sure I want to know how to pee standing up.
Posted by: Beth at January 8, 2005 7:14 PM
Hmm. Must balance several conflicting considerations, here.
1. I might write something Beth would take as a rudeness, then John would have to hunt me down and blow me to smithereens w/artillery, being careful to frighten me 90% to death, first.
(Oh, yeah, happy anniversary!!!)
2. There's that comment I put up here a while back about the absurdity of wimmin wearing pants, except in athletic situations. Oh, I think I also mentioned Scotsmen, and going "regimental", and fornication (with obviously implied pros and cons there) and (ahem) diarrhea.
3. I believe I also referred to the pissing match mentioned in the book "The Bathroom" by a Mr. Kira. It was a pissing match for distance, and the gal won.
"Uh uh", she said, "No hands!"
4. I think all medical authorities really do agree that maximum ventilation of the privates is healthiest, be one boy or girl. I envy y'all yer status as Nekkid Bloggers! Would that I were not so shy as to feel more comfy when clothed, even though there is no-one around to notice.
Feel free to delete the above and/or blame it on Velociman.
Posted by: Justthisguy at January 8, 2005 10:32 PM
Justthisguy - you crack me up!
Posted by: Beth at January 9, 2005 10:29 AM
LOL! That story explains a lot ;-)
Posted by: Sally at January 10, 2005 7:20 AM
I have spent the entire morning reading all of this....you are friggin hilarious! Thanks for the pick-me-up!
Posted by: peacechild at January 19, 2005 11:52 AM
I was actually half-expecting multiple orgasms as the punchline.
Posted by: Jeremy Pierce at February 14, 2005 8:52 PM