And its none of their business anyway.

Look, your are a customer and they are a service provider. I think medical care in this country would be a lot better if the care giving community would get that concept.

Just becaue the whole "biological parent" thing is all the rage doesn't mean you need to follow. Do what you want to do. Whether your biological aunt had breast cancer doesn't really matter anyway. "Do I have any lumps?" That's what your there for.

I'm shocked. What amazingly personal questions to ask someone you don't know. I'm appalled. (I'd never ask something like that of someone I DO know.)

On another note, the latest stats, I may be off here, said something like 80% of all breast cancer detected is in women WITHOUT prior history in the family. Hmm. Tells me the basic assumption should be we're all at risk, whether our relatives had it or not.

Ya didna share this one with me, sweetie.

It irks me to no end, as well.

I may have to get TacJammer to make me a cluebat...

The world is full of doofus nitwits.

I have heard conversations where someone says they're adopted and some doofus nitwit thinks they can ask that person extremely personal questions. Questions that would normally not get asked. Why do you think that happens?

Can't stand doofus nitwits, just the thought of her asking irritated me.

All I can say is "most people are idiots"...

Did I say that out loud? Sorry.

Beth, your answer is exactly the one to give, your parents are those who raised you, not those who donated your DNA. It is sad to see that those in the medical profession still don't understand the importance of "bedside manner", even with those who are not ill. Yes, there is an apparent DNA connection with cancer, but when told you're adopted, they should stop after finding out you have no knowledge of the history of cancer in your DNA history. Commentary of the nature of "why haven't you tried to find your biological parents" is nothing but opinionated BS that doesn't belong in the examining room.

Oops... sorry, I felt a bit of righteous anger on your behalf. I'll shut up now.

I've never been asked anything like that at the doctor or hospital. They either make a giant line through the entire page or -which is almost as bad as your experience- keep asking about my ancestors health... and I keep saying: I TOLD you I'm adopted!

Makes one feel not 'normal' somehow. Like one very large toe on an otherwise normal foot. Ugh.

Ummm, any chance you can share that lesson with Grau?
I think the concept of choosing to love the members of your "family" that you want to love would be a good one for him to be exposed to right now (given what he recently posted).

I think.
If you get my meaning.

Hopefully this doesn't come off wrong....

I wish your parents were still alive, too.

I liked your Dad a lot, and I wish I'd met your mother!

I'm adopted and I hate that kind of thing. "Yes I have REAL parents, thank you."

A simple question such as "do you have any information concerning your biological parents' health?" is sufficient. If you don't happen to have it, you don't happen to have it - and you can be evaluated based solely on your own health history.

Sometimes people don't think before they speak. Sad, isn't it?

I'm totally with Calliope on the concept that health care providers should understand that I am a *customer.*

For example, I went to have a root canal and they wanted to give me a temporary filling because that's what my dentist ordered. I told them in no uncertain terms that I wanted a permanent filling. They made noises about going against my dentists wishes.

Excuse me? They're MY teeth and I'm the one paying the bill.

You have to be very proactive about your medical care. I learned that early from being in the hospital every winter when I was a kid.

Sorry you encountered an idiot Beth.