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June 9, 2004
President Reagan
You know, back when Reagan was first elected, I was a bit scared of him. He was so unlike any other politician. He was so sure of his beliefs. And my Jesuit taught college education caused me to fear anyone who was so sure of what was right and wrong.
Slowly, I changed my thinking. I still could not admit that I thought he was okay, mind you, but ever so slowly, I started to admire the man for his downright ballsiness in standing up to the Soviet Union. I was scared to death that the Soviet Union would attack us because of Reagan's strength, but at the same time, I dared them to attack us, because I knew we'd kick the shit out of them.
Slowly, ever so slowly, as I matured, I realized that morality is not really relative and that strength was a really good thing for a country to have. Many of my friends made fun of the man - they thought he was a moron - mostly because he had been in a movie with a chimp, I suppose.
Anyway, since President passed away last Saturday, every time I turn on the TV or listen to the radio or look at the internet, I find myself tearing up.
Today, I had lunch at an Italian restaurant - I was by myself, so I sat at the bar. The TV was on - Nancy Reagan (who I once mocked for staring so lovingly at her husband) was ever so slowly climbing the steps to the plane that took her and President Reagan to Washington. Another eating-alone woman was sitting next to me, and she commented on Mrs. Reagan, "she always loved her husband so much, it does seem they could make it easier on her and somehow not make her climb those steps. After all, President Reagan did so much for all of us" - and I turned and looked at the woman speaking and realized that she was a woman of color - but all the newspeople keep saying that African Americans and Hispanics and everyone else hated President Reagan - perhaps they are wrong?
Then tonight, I watched the ceremony at the Rotunda. I cried when they sang God Bless America. I cried when the wreaths were laid. I cried when Mrs. Reagan walked to the casket and patted it reassuringly. As everyone left, and they played The Heavens Declare ... ( I sang the alto part in high school), I sobbed even more.
Now, why am I in tears? Partly because my dad was just a couple of years younger than Presidend Reagan, and I miss my dad, and my dad absolutely adored President Reagan. Partly because as I have aged, I have come to appreciate what President Reagan did for the US. And partly because of the insensitive louts who are mocking President Reagan and calling him evil just so they can get some attention.
Anyway. I'm oversharing. Take care, all.
Posted by Beth at June 9, 2004 8:13 PM
Comments
I knew I was in trouble with this ceremony and funeral when yesterday, the front page of our paper had a picture of Nancy, head on the flag draped casket, arms outstretched across it. All I kept thinking was, "When you are married to the right person, there is never enough time. You always want more." I grieve for her. She deserved to have that man in her life, in sound mind, longer than she had him. Now she is doomed to walk this Earth alone and I cannot imagine the depths of her sadness and how alone she must feel.
Posted by: Boudicca at June 9, 2004 9:01 PM
Well, I have nothing to add to what you had to say except when I was sitting on the Czech border freezing my ass off, I wasn't so sure I was gonna survive kicking their ass... especially the third echelon!
Posted by: John of Argghhh! at June 9, 2004 10:44 PM
well put. and yeah, i'm tired of the reagan trolls too.
Posted by: mlah at June 9, 2004 11:40 PM
The memories have been flooding for me also.
The Carter years. The fear (nervousness? anxiety? whatever) when Reagan was elected. The media had made him out as a lunatic for years after all. Just shows you the power the media has over even someone that's skeptical of them.
The ceremonies have been incredibly well done. Dignified, understated. Powerful, beautiful. The music was perfect every step of the way. I could listen to that Army choir for hours on end. Simply perfect.
Posted by: Calliope at June 10, 2004 6:19 AM
I keep tearing up as well, and every glance at Nancy is ripping my heart out, but I'm so glad that we are treating the President with the love and respect he deserves.
Dan Rather, Tom Brokaw and the rest of the idiots can bitch about it all they want - Americans want to say goodbye with an embrace of love, not disdain.
Bite me, Rather. I'm ashamed that you are from Texas!
Posted by: pam at June 10, 2004 6:58 AM
Beautiful thoughts Beth. I haven't watched any of the television stuff (I may watch the memorial services tomorrow - depends). I'm just glad to see how many people are turning out to pay their respects. If I was in California or in Washington, I would've been in one of the lines too. I think that is the most tremendous tribute to his life that there could be - all the people taking precious time from very busy lives and saying goodbye.
Posted by: Teresa at June 10, 2004 10:39 AM