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June 4, 2004
Airport bloggin'
Can't Blog Nekkid here! I'm sitting in a bar here at Midway Airport in Chicago - have a two hour layover, trying to make the time go by just a bit faster!
My plane went from Norfolk to Baltimore, and then came on to Midway, where I am at the moment.
The flight from Baltimore to Chicago has to be the most uncomfortable flight I've been on since the bad flight back when I was a kid.
Why was it uncomfortable, you ask?
Well, believe you me, I will tell you!
I usually sit in the last row - either the window or the aisle seat. Today, it was the aisle seat. When passengers got on in Baltimore, this semi normal looking guy wanted to set in the seat next to me. I got up, and then he proceeded to literally spread his body out to fill his seat, half of mine and half of the seat of the young lady sitting by the window. It was so odd. This guy was not a big guy. He put up the armrests on both sides, and just expanded. His elbows went out, his knees went out and I swear, his butt must have expanded by 5 inches. I don't know how he did that because he was not a big guy - really weird!!!
Mind you, I'm kinda fat. I do my best to make myself as small as possible so I won't bother the other passengers. This guy, though, he was obnoxiously possesive of his space, my space, and the other woman's space.
So, I was really really scrunched up. We take off. The woman in front of me decides to recline her seat as fully as possible.
I can't recline my seat, because I'm in the last row - they don't recline.
I almost started crying, I was so uncomfortable. I lifted the aisle side armrest and kinda leaned out that way, but of course, every time one of the flight attendants went by, I had to scrunch in again.
I will say, the Southwest Airlines flight attendants were very nice. One felt so sorry for my obvious discomfort that they brought me a free beer. Twice.
That helped. But, this kinda slimy guy was basically attached to my hips for the whole fricking flight. If I moved a little toward the aisle, he pushed against my hips and I lost another inch of space.
Yuck.
I really hope this next flight won't be filled with rude guys who like to be comfy at the expense of all other passengers on my flight from Chicago to Kansas City!!!!!!!
I don't know if I can be polite again.
Posted by Beth at June 4, 2004 2:38 PM
Comments
Next time, chat the asshole up and get an address and phone number.
I know people.
Posted by: John of Argghhh! at June 4, 2004 3:58 PM
You'll be polite. It's who you are.
Posted by: Da Goddess at June 4, 2004 4:19 PM
Thanks for the laugh. Isn't it amazing how those butt cheeks spread? It's also feels so intimate don't you think?
What you need is a small whoopee cushion, you know the one that makes fart noises. When it's the battle of the butt cheeks just discreetly sound off with the whoopee cushion. The butt heads move fast let me tell you.
Posted by: BeeBee at June 4, 2004 4:31 PM
Ugh! I bet the plane was full and you couldn't move? The flight attendent wouldn't even ask the guy to suck it up?? [Though free drinks aren't bad!]
I'm a tad claustrophobic, so that might have been a bad scenario for me... I'm getting antsy just thinking about it! LOL!!
Hope you arrived home without some turd's legs wrapped around your seat! ;)
Posted by: pam at June 4, 2004 5:01 PM
Just be glad you weren't in the window seat...
Posted by: Calliope at June 4, 2004 6:04 PM
elbows. use the elbows. i'd have said something for you.
Posted by: mlah at June 4, 2004 10:27 PM
I thought it was the Laww of the Air Ways that fellas like that *must* fit between the armrests? Hey, I know my rights -- I watch Airline! ; >
[or Airplane, or whatever that is...]
All I can say is, "eww."
Posted by: Claire at June 5, 2004 8:12 PM
BTW Beth, this would go under "Socially Retarded Air Travel Behavior". I swear I'm going to start a book, or a list at least, of socially retarded behavior.
Posted by: Calliope at June 6, 2004 9:18 AM