Boy, do I have a story about an obnoxious Englishman | Main | Things are looking up for Helen

January 17, 2004

Ok- time to tell the story of the obnoxious Englishman

This is a bit of a long rant, so beware, I may go off a bit 'half-cocked' here. Everything below really did happen.

As I mentioned earlier in the week, I was on the concierge floor at the Marriott while in Los Angeles County. That means free food for breakfast in a rather comfortable lounge. I'm a friendly sort of person, so I normally say good morning to other people in the lounge while I select my fruit and bagel.

A well-dressed Englishman said, "Good morning, I do love your American breakfast beverages." I think I said something like, "Oh, that's nice". I figured that was the end of the conversation, but noooooo.....

The next words out of his mouth were, "Isn't it awful what Bush has done to America?"

At first I kinda looked around - was this guy talking to me? I guess so, there was no one else there. I'm sure I gave him a look of utter surprise and dismay (Kinda like Scooby Doo when he is a bit confused - I think I even made that arrrur? sound he does), and I said, "Well, actually, I think Bush has done wonderful things for our country."

"Well, he has ruined your economy - just look at the mess it is in".

"I'm making more money than ever, and I have a terrific job, and I got this job after President Bush came into office".

"Bush has devalued the dollar - it's terrible - it was worth more when Clinton, a man worthy of being president, was in office"

"Clinton was a worthless, embarrassment of a president".

"No, he understood the world, and how you people should behave."

"I'm very happy with President Bush, he is protecting us from terrorists, we are not rolling over and turning the other cheek."

"We were all with Bush when he set off to get Bin Laden - but he had no business going to Iraq. After all, Bush has killed more Americans than Saddam Hussein has killed Iraqi's".

Yes, those were his exact words - Bush has killed more people than Saddam Hussein.

Once again - the man said - Bush has killed more people than Saddam Hussein.

I looked at him, backed off a bit, and I actually said - "You are nuts".

"It's all these guns in this country. You people should not be allowed to own guns".

I am sure I gave him quite a look - like you are a total knucklehead.

"30,000 Americans a year are killed by gun violence, so in the past 25 years, Bush has been responsible for over 1,000,000 American deaths."

Aside from his bad math, and questionable statistics (I will have to defer to John on those stats, I have no clue), this man was definitely talking to the wrong woman. (here is my basement).

"You are talking to the wrong woman here, bud. I own guns, many guns, I love my guns. My husband collects guns. Guns are an important part of our life."

"Well, that is ok, as long as you don't have any amunition, so you can't shoot them."

"I shoot guns, it's fun, and I'm pretty good at it,"

speechless.

"Well, you can't protect yourself from someone by owning a gun, you will end up being the victim. At least when we get mugged, we don't get killed by protecting ourselves with guns".

"England has the highest crime rate around!"

"Oh, but that's just petty crime. Not like this country, where you can be murdered by a gun at any moment."

"You are not allowed to protect yourselves when mugged - can't even hit the bad guys - how stupid is that?"

"Well, we don't get hurt by using guns!"

" You listen to the BBC, don't you?"

"I live in New York City - have for 12 years, they are civilized there - and the New York Times and the BBC are the only worthy news sources around."

"Sure, when they are firing their reporters for making up stories."

"Hmmph, at least they go after those reporters - I'm sure that all the other news outlets are full of liars."

"That explains your uninformed opinion, I suppose".

Wow, he got pretty pissed at me at that point, his face turned red, and his well-groomed hair, started standing on end - kinda like a mad dog.

"You Americans don't have a right to own guns. We can't own them in Britain, you should not be allowed to have them either. I don't understand why we have to be checked head to toe before entering your country because you are afraid that we will have guns - you all kill each other more than any terrorists can hurt you!!!"

"We don't want to live like you Brits do. My ancestors, and the ancestors of most Americans (excepting, of course, those folks whose ancestors were brought here as slaves by English slave traders), left Britain and Europe because we did not fit in. Either your ancestors forced them out, or they just plain did not want to live like Europeans do. This is still true for most of us. England is a lovely place to visit, but I sure as hell would not want to live there! I love the freedoms this country. We are here because we don't want to be there. What gall you have to tell us how we should be allowed to live. How arrogant can you get!"

"You people don't have any culture - you don't speak proper English ..." blah, blah, blah.

"You are an Ass".


And I left and went to work.

Posted by Beth at January 17, 2004 10:54 AM

Comments

BoyOboyOboyOboyOboy I wish I'da been there! I'da had at 'im with both barrels!

Posted by: John of Argghhh! at January 17, 2004 11:37 AM

Wow! Not exactly what you had in mind for breakfast, eh? Glad you gave him a piece of your mind.

DC

Posted by: DC at January 17, 2004 3:31 PM

What a strange person! First of all I'm wondering - AT BREAKFAST!!! Yikes, I'd likely have taken his head off. I am NOT a morning person.

As for his very bizaar statistics... I would've been asking him what he's smoking! I love the fact that he's blaming Bush for 25 years worth of "gun violence". And I'd be kicking myself right now for not thinking fast enough to ask him "why aren't you blaming the wonderful Mr. Bill for the deaths during his administration?" Then there's the fact that of the 30,000 or so, more than half the deaths were due to suicide, others were due to accident. As a matter of fact - murder accounts for about 15,500 or so deaths TOTAL per year. That includes all types of murder, not just guns.

Then I would've asked him if he planned on getting into a motor vehicle that day. And if so, I would want to know why he's not livid about the "vehicular violence" that kills about 47,000 Americans each year. How come he's not calling for an end to driving all motorized vehicles... after all they are even MORE lethal than guns.

Posted by: Teresa at January 17, 2004 3:50 PM

Darn it, Teresa - I wish you were there with me. I was so stunned, I had a hard time saying anything. I could have used you and John to talk back to this guy.

Posted by: Beth at January 17, 2004 4:51 PM

Well, it's likely a really good thing I wasn't there - I don't play nice before noon. People who irritate me are apt to have their heads handed to them on a platter *G*. This is why it's a very very good thing I work at home (telecommute).

Of course the reason I'm online now is because I work from home and I've been working all afternoon. Periodically I take a short break and go look at something besides computer code - LOL.

Posted by: Teresa at January 17, 2004 5:46 PM

yeah, telecommuting sounds awfully good to me about now!

Posted by: Beth at January 17, 2004 5:53 PM

You handled that much better than I would have!!! I know from previous experience that stuttering and spitting foam would have been my response... ;)

Posted by: pam at January 17, 2004 6:23 PM

I wish I was there too!!! I could have given him a Californian's perspective on Gun Control. To me, Gun Control means hitting your target.
Just remember, it is always better to own a gun and never have to use it, than to not own a gun and have to use it.

Posted by: John from L.A. at January 17, 2004 11:46 PM

"...so in the past 25 years, Bush has been responsible for over 1,000,000 American deaths."

Seriously, that is one of the stupidest things I've ever heard. Actually, I think it's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Clinton was responsible for 1,000,000 deaths too, by his logic.

Posted by: dowingba at January 18, 2004 1:52 AM

Dowingba - yes, it was idiotic, especially when you consider that Bush has only been President for 3 years - not 25. I didn't want my post to get ridiculously long, so I didn't add the short conversation we had about the 25 year thing. I said that Bush had only been president for 3 years - where are you getting the 25 year figure? He said, well, he's been voting for death for 25 years and he is a Republican, and they all vote for death."

I dropped that part of the conversation at that point because it was such a ridiculous statement.

Posted by: Beth at January 18, 2004 8:10 AM

John in LA - Hi, John! Yes, you are absolutely right. I have never used a gun to protect myself, but if I need to, I can do so.

Posted by: Beth at January 18, 2004 8:12 AM

Can we do a deal here? If you don't judge me by this fool's standards, I'll let you off for producing Carter, the Kennedys & Clintons....deal? anyway, true bulldogs won't be seen dead in L.A. - we'd be on our hols somewhere like MT or TX - L.A., its far too much like home. Here's hoping that your new Gov. can do something about it!
Cheers

Posted by: Mr Free Market at January 19, 2004 8:52 AM

Holy crap - what a nutcase! You did a great job sticking up for the rest of us pathetic Americans :::grin:::

Posted by: Kate at January 19, 2004 9:31 PM

Seems like he was intellectually challenged. The key to remember about the English is the accents make them seem smarter and more well-bred than they are. Like this dolt.

I'd have said, "Screw off." Works pretty well.


Posted by: IB Bill at January 20, 2004 10:18 AM

When dealing with English cultural bigots, it's always fun to remind them that as an American, you're a citizen, rather than a subject.

Even if the latter is not strictly true anymore - I don't know if it is or not - it sure seems to be the attitude of the British government of late.

Posted by: Sigivald at January 20, 2004 12:55 PM

That was a great response to an uninformed dufus.
I liked the part where he said "You Americans don't have a right to own guns. We can't own them in Britain, you should not be allowed to have them either." That was just too much. That's just what is wrong with him....trying to jam his ideals down our throats and getting upset when nobody swallows it.
(((I came over from Dean's World)))

Posted by: zenwanderer at January 20, 2004 6:18 PM

Well, you could have, at least, given him a short cut to the 110 freeway.

Say, go straight east on Century, turn left on Western, right on Firestone and then east..

And of course, you could have said if he got lost, just pull over and yell, "Hey Boy, come here!" for assistance.

I am sure he would have emerged with a better understanding of civility and knowing to be quiet when in a strange place.

Posted by: Poker Player (aka Jim) at January 20, 2004 9:21 PM

What a hoot! I don't think I could have stayed too civil in the face of such blatent
Idiotarionism....I'd have had to demonstrate clue-bat wielding on a massive scale...not good for international relations,but what the heck,who cares anyway?

Posted by: delftsman3 at January 22, 2004 11:04 PM

You talk a load of bollocks, rant about some other nation, slack jawed yanks

Posted by: Johnny 'ENGLISH' at March 12, 2004 10:17 AM

Johnny, I was not ranting about another nation, I was ranting about one rude Englishman. One idiot does not a nation make!

Posted by: Beth at March 12, 2004 10:27 AM