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January 17, 2004

Ok- time to tell the story of the obnoxious Englishman

This is a bit of a long rant, so beware, I may go off a bit 'half-cocked' here. Everything below really did happen.

As I mentioned earlier in the week, I was on the concierge floor at the Marriott while in Los Angeles County. That means free food for breakfast in a rather comfortable lounge. I'm a friendly sort of person, so I normally say good morning to other people in the lounge while I select my fruit and bagel.

A well-dressed Englishman said, "Good morning, I do love your American breakfast beverages." I think I said something like, "Oh, that's nice". I figured that was the end of the conversation, but noooooo.....

The next words out of his mouth were, "Isn't it awful what Bush has done to America?"

At first I kinda looked around - was this guy talking to me? I guess so, there was no one else there. I'm sure I gave him a look of utter surprise and dismay (Kinda like Scooby Doo when he is a bit confused - I think I even made that arrrur? sound he does), and I said, "Well, actually, I think Bush has done wonderful things for our country."

"Well, he has ruined your economy - just look at the mess it is in".

"I'm making more money than ever, and I have a terrific job, and I got this job after President Bush came into office".

"Bush has devalued the dollar - it's terrible - it was worth more when Clinton, a man worthy of being president, was in office"

"Clinton was a worthless, embarrassment of a president".

"No, he understood the world, and how you people should behave."

"I'm very happy with President Bush, he is protecting us from terrorists, we are not rolling over and turning the other cheek."

"We were all with Bush when he set off to get Bin Laden - but he had no business going to Iraq. After all, Bush has killed more Americans than Saddam Hussein has killed Iraqi's".

Yes, those were his exact words - Bush has killed more people than Saddam Hussein.

Once again - the man said - Bush has killed more people than Saddam Hussein.

I looked at him, backed off a bit, and I actually said - "You are nuts".

"It's all these guns in this country. You people should not be allowed to own guns".

I am sure I gave him quite a look - like you are a total knucklehead.

"30,000 Americans a year are killed by gun violence, so in the past 25 years, Bush has been responsible for over 1,000,000 American deaths."

Aside from his bad math, and questionable statistics (I will have to defer to John on those stats, I have no clue), this man was definitely talking to the wrong woman. (here is my basement).

"You are talking to the wrong woman here, bud. I own guns, many guns, I love my guns. My husband collects guns. Guns are an important part of our life."

"Well, that is ok, as long as you don't have any amunition, so you can't shoot them."

"I shoot guns, it's fun, and I'm pretty good at it,"

speechless.

"Well, you can't protect yourself from someone by owning a gun, you will end up being the victim. At least when we get mugged, we don't get killed by protecting ourselves with guns".

"England has the highest crime rate around!"

"Oh, but that's just petty crime. Not like this country, where you can be murdered by a gun at any moment."

"You are not allowed to protect yourselves when mugged - can't even hit the bad guys - how stupid is that?"

"Well, we don't get hurt by using guns!"

" You listen to the BBC, don't you?"

"I live in New York City - have for 12 years, they are civilized there - and the New York Times and the BBC are the only worthy news sources around."

"Sure, when they are firing their reporters for making up stories."

"Hmmph, at least they go after those reporters - I'm sure that all the other news outlets are full of liars."

"That explains your uninformed opinion, I suppose".

Wow, he got pretty pissed at me at that point, his face turned red, and his well-groomed hair, started standing on end - kinda like a mad dog.

"You Americans don't have a right to own guns. We can't own them in Britain, you should not be allowed to have them either. I don't understand why we have to be checked head to toe before entering your country because you are afraid that we will have guns - you all kill each other more than any terrorists can hurt you!!!"

"We don't want to live like you Brits do. My ancestors, and the ancestors of most Americans (excepting, of course, those folks whose ancestors were brought here as slaves by English slave traders), left Britain and Europe because we did not fit in. Either your ancestors forced them out, or they just plain did not want to live like Europeans do. This is still true for most of us. England is a lovely place to visit, but I sure as hell would not want to live there! I love the freedoms this country. We are here because we don't want to be there. What gall you have to tell us how we should be allowed to live. How arrogant can you get!"

"You people don't have any culture - you don't speak proper English ..." blah, blah, blah.

"You are an Ass".


And I left and went to work.

Posted by Beth at January 17, 2004 10:54 AM