Interesting choice over what to post as "marital discord."

Never miss an opportunity, eh, John?

Feh yourself.

I half-wondered if you'd get... annoyed with me over that.

It's a fair observation, fits the meme in multiple ways, and I see it as a chance for the Air Force to take stock and re-evaluate - you have to admit, there've been some real problems of late.

I can't tell you how hopping mad pissed I was this week when I read of the extent of the AF problem with nukes the last couple of years - because I know people whose military careers effectively ended because a soldier passed a tool *over* a weapon, and not under it, during an eval.

If may be painful, but getting jerk through a keyhole may be the best thing to happen to the AF in some time.

And you know I'll slap the Army around when I think it's needful, so it's not like I'm playing favorites, Dusty.

"thus was a nickname bestowed."

Begins to stand up, hand waving wildly like a 5 year old boy freebasing pixie sticks...

Receives withering glare from armorer..

Sits meekly back down and slumps in his chair...

*mumbles*..... 'well, the helmet made a decent motorcycle helmet too, now if it only covered his butt.....'

Ah, prudence, thy name is Kevin...

Looks like a Model 1895 Chilian Mauser (the rifle, not the cat).

Right? Wrong?

Maj Mike - if you had clicked the link for "rifle" you would have had your reward sooner.

You are correct - it's a M1896, made for the Orange Free State, that actually made it to South Africa, where it was captured by the Kiwis.

More detail provided in the link in this comment.

Yeah - yeah, just look at my heroic feats on keeping Unkabill outta trouble; blah blah blah. You can just keep on dirging by the tune of the smallest violin.

But seriously, with so much dust kicking around the rotor draughts, what kind of laundry detergent do you use to keep those gossamer vestments so shiny and supple?

Yeah, really, since Carbo hasn't quite mastered the art of the "ride-along" in the same way these guys have.

Ah, but just because you don't have to dance on a surface doesn't mean you can't.
It just adds in the additional variable of wondering whether or not Angels who are currently not in contact with the head of the pin are considered as dancing 'on' the pin or not.

And if you make buns in the arrangements necessary to match the number of hot dogs in a package then you either get an unworkably long set of buns or you wind up with buns 'in the middle' that can't be easily separated.

So why don't they package hot dogs to match the buns? Tradition.

Oh, come on! Everyone know Angels prefer dancing on the head on pens.

Yeah - yeah, just look at my heroic feats on keeping Unkabill outta trouble; blah blah blah.

Alive. Not out of trouble; even ANGCOM thought that was out of scope. Just ... alive. Reasonably undamaged is a plus.

what kind of laundry detergent do you use to keep those gossamer vestments so shiny and supple?

static electricity buildup, but you have to remember not to ground yourself. Plus, make sure you stay away from the stream of hydraulic fluid. Given Tuttle's fondness for trackless rollercoasters, harder than you might think.

Hey Carb-baby....
When you're up there, milling around heaven, with nothing better to do... how about throwing some protective cover my way?

Especially while gardening, and apparently touching poison ivy, and then wiping sweat away from my cleavage with the same gloved hands I touched the poison ivy with.

DAMN.... braless sure sounds good right now. Reduces friction between breastessess- and the blisters.

Anyone got any cordisone??!!!!

Damn, that poison ivy thing sounds awful!!! Johnson and Johnson makes an anti-itch gel that used to be called rhuli, now I think it is just anti-itch, but it works really, really well.

Hey WK, Trudy says you can share some of her calamine lotion that I got her to clear up the stress rash that she got from stress during her finals week.

I remember the Rhuligel, Beth- but I haven't been able to find it! That's what I used to use growing up, but it's nowhere to be found now. :-(

It itches so bad it burns.

Tell Trudy I hope her rash clears up soon!!

The oil causing the blisters is tough stuff -- KtLW has had some luck with using a lemon-based dishwashing detergent, but you've got to do it *gently* so you don't pop the blisters and get the oil inside your outside.

I will have to try that, Bill. Sounds more appealling than bleaching myself, like my Mom suggested.

Nope, I can't claim credit for it.

I'll let Maggie flounce at *you*, instead...

Now, if you could get Scotland Rising to do "Yakkity-Sax" on the bagpipes, you'd really have something to crow abou

*whap!*

Owww! What?!?

Thanks Kat, that was a natural ;)

Clearly, the rooster gave up, probably bored by the lack of challenge.

AR, you may well be right. Satchmo is a pretty savvy bird, for a chicken. Of course, all I have to compare him to are guineas, all of whom ride the short bus.

That must be a very young rooster; not once did he go into attack mode. When I was a kid my rooster, just like the Barred Rock Rocky you have didn't like being chased around. I still have scars.

Never turn your back on a rooster.
If you wear shorts have a leaf rake handy to guard your shins and thighs.
Their spurs can cut through dockers, although jeans will give some protection.
If you wave your hands over their head they will look up and you can drop kick them over an eight foot chicken wire fence after they've cut up your new school pants.

Other then that...watch your 6...especially in their chicken run.

FM, I'm not stupid enough to try and kick SWWBO's animals. That's a death sentence. There's no kicking of animals at Castle Argghhh!, unless John does it when nobody's looking.

Clearly, the rooster gave up, probably bored by the lack of challenge.

Oh, come on. It was the kid's quest to catch Satchmo and if you had seen how proud that kid was when he finally did you'd kick yourself for taking that away from him. There's three spots in the vid where I had a good chance of grabbing the bird but passed up. I was the blocking element and Alex was the stalking horse. That's how I planned it and that's how I played it. When did I morph from gollum into Rodney Dangerfield?

OMFG... FUNNY STUFF!!!!
Benny Hill is the PERFECT music (and fast-forwarding style) for rooster wrangling!

Now - To pay true homage to Mr. Hill, all we need is a couple of scantily-clad blondes running across the screen. :@()

...and every dang one of those eggs has its own lat/long to go after. Heh.

I guess this would be the equivalent of kicking it through the end zone, eh?
0>;~}

John, the problem with picture like this, "What is your point of view?" If you are looking down or over and seeing that picture, it's one thing. But if you're looking up, it's a completely different picture!"

By the way, I'm glad they won the coin toss and elected to receive.

Grumpy ;-)

The versatile Guardian Angel, Microsoft notes, can also...yadda-yadda-yadda.

If that little Big Brother app was developed by the same hellspawn crew that inflicted Visio and Office 2007 on the world, it will be more likely to stop your pacemaker than block spam.

"Guardian Angel has detected an anomalous micropulse emanating from your chest that could possibly be the result of a previously undetected malware download. Would you like Guardian Angel to cure the
*pzzzzzzzzzzz-apppppppppt*
malware? *Okay* *Not Now*"

You can catch an old rooster with a hen easier than you can catch him with another old rooster.

You can also get consistent spelling -- Argghhh vice Arrggh -- with a handy-dandy InstaReference Masthead Printout, available at your local Mangonels 'Я' Us for a reasonable fee...

I have some pedigree barn cats that need to be rounded up. Can I get some help?

Kat, that is hilarious!

-10 for spelling... but otherwise, woot!

Go Satchmo, Go!

The Castle Argghhh! Aerobics video, now available for free download.

LMFAO.... I recognized Ry, but couldn't tell who the "child labor unit" was.
OMG, how frustrating- and funny as heck to watch! No wonder chickens sound like they're laughing when clucking.... they're just telling Henhouse TiNS!!

"Hey Red! Remember that one time, at Argghhh, when that dude with the REALLY old ballcap chased us around with a piece of siding, while that other youngun' tried to catch us? OHHHHH Man... Those were the DAYS, eh Red!??"

OMG, that is a total hoot! Excellent production job, Kat :-)

Kat,
do you have any info on the music? Googling Scotland Rising only brought up the Jacobite Revolt

thanks

Beauty! Now make another version, Kat... advance the frame rate about 50% and set it to 'Yakety Sax'.
Hee!

Wow, that's one fast rooster!

Wow, that's one fast rooster!

Kevin, It's a local band from the Renaissance Fair that I bought a CD from last year. I'll check this evening to see if they have a website listed on the CD.

Martin, for a small fee I can bring the CLU child labor unit(my nephew). You'll have to convince Ry on your own.

I admit, I tuned out the sound and I should have kept the part where Ry kept saying "you have to be smarter than the chicken". Which is probably what the problem was since it was actually a rooster. LOL

PS...I only wish I had had my camera when John and Beth were wrangling chickens.

The First Rule of Castle Argghhh! is... no video of the Armorer!

... no video of the Armorer!

So, what's that largish figure observing from the sidelines with a cat in his lap, then?

So lemme get this straight. A couple of guys ran all over the Castle gardens chasing down the mighty cock?

Clearly I picked the wrong weekend NOT to go...

RG

This was a hoot to watch. Out witted and outrun by a chikin.

The First Rule of Castle Argghhh! is... no video of the Armorer!

Rules are made to be broken.

LMAO! That was too funny!

I almost expected to see Ry swinging a lasso!

Heeeeee - Now Gollum should be ready to go for 15 with Apollo Creed.

What?
Why?

I am lost.

So someone finally stood up to the vicious Chicken of Bristol, eh?

Love the video, love the music, but for some reason, I kept thinking of the Benny Hill theme instead...

Love the video, love the music, but for some reason, I kept thinking of the Benny Hill theme instead...

If I could have found it, that was my first choice of music. But I couldn't find the tune as a download so we were stuck with some other fun music.

But, that kind of scared me that we were thinking along the same lines. LOL

"But, that kind of scared me that we were thinking along the same lines. LOL"

'Resistance is futile, you will be assimilated!'

Vote Ron Paul in 2008!

Had to slip that in, the opening was there, so I took it!

However, come to think of it, it's McCain that really reminds me of a Borg...

However, come to think of it, it's McCain that really reminds me of a Borg...

Uh...Ron Paul village of castaways?

The convention should be interesting.... Amazing how the party of 'law and order' seems to have a tough time following their own party rules... so much for the 'big tent'....

But, enough snarkiness....

Barring a sudden wakeup call of respect by the GOP delegates for the principles and ideals this nation was founded upon, I expect I shall have to do a write in for this presidential cycle.

But, at least, I will feel good about my vote and know that I cast it for the candidate who best represents and respects the Constitution and the ideals we as a nation are supposed to represent.

How's about them apples? Mine are still sweet...

Heh.

Sacthmo has a wicked change of direction, and if you tear a bunch of ligaments and a meniscus in your knee you don't have a wicked change of direction anymore. That's about as good as I get anymore at playing defense, and, yeah, it hurt like a mother later that night---hence the frozen peas. That bit next to the barn really took a bite out of the knee.

Plus, half of the exercise was to get the Padawan to grab him. Trying to corner the sucker without spooking him was a bit harder to do with a very aggressive Padawan who had no problems running around behind Satch for who knows how long. So I grabbed the siding and corralled the sucker. I was smarter than the chicken. He was just faster. I used terrain and tools. Works for me.(You cook him and eat him he tastes just the same, Kat. It's a chicken.)

ANd let's not forget that I'd been digging post holes all day before that, y'know. It wasn't like I wasn't already really tired before going after Psycho Chicken or nothing.

Lasso? I'm a city kid from CA, not Wonder Woman. (I think Were-Kitten's the one for that.)

ZoomieSib, nope, that wasn't the right hat. That's the back-up cap I keep around for working outside. The real Hat O' Flying Death(it's accurate to about 15', and repulsive to anyone but 7 year olds with Were-Kitten blood in 'em) was given the day off since the headband is shot and it falls off any time there's wind, and it was a touch windy that day. As you can tell in the vid, this one doesn't fly off.

Excuses, excuses! LOL

Plus, I did make you the "professional rooster wrangler". ;)

Hilarious. Love those fancy chickens (dare I say fancy cocks).

I too, thought of the Benny Hill theme song.

http://www.televisiontunes.com/Benny_Hill_Show.html

And definitely bump the frame rate.

I thought that they were talking about Rose McGowen or Alyssa Milano with that title.

Heh.
Karma bites those who deserve it most.
0>;~}

So that means 0>;~} is the chemical symbol for urushiol?

Works for me!
0>;~}

*impeccable Sinatra impression*

"I've got youuuu

Under my skinnnn..."

*anything but perfect MC Hammer impersonation*

You can't touch this!

*side shuffling off, baggy pants a'flappin'*

Actually, the article is spot on:

other species are likely to fare much worse than great tits as temperatures rise

Great tits have eight or nine babies in a brood

Okay, I don't know about "eight or nine", but they do help

WereKitten and I are having no problem coping with global warming either, since it doesn't exist... but the great tits do.
;-)

John's slipping. Figgered any thread involving mammary glands would pop a flare directly over his keyboard...

The caption under the photo really doesn't help much either...

"Food for hungry mouths"

AFSis beat me to it. I'm fine, I undid a button and checked.

Alt history is fun to speculate. Here's another one:

At 18:47:29, Obamamaniak wrote: I told FreedomFighter69 not to assassinate Hitler. It led to exactly the results I mentioned in my last post: 1) A civil war in Germany, that cost 25,000 lives; 2) More purges by Stalin, leading to another 300,000 deaths in the USSR; 3) Continued depression in the US, resulting in increased numbers of infant mortality and euthenasia among seniors; and 4) independence revolutions in colonial India, Indo-China, Canada and Australia; 5) the Arab genocide of Jews in the British mandate in Palestine.

Millions have died because of FreedomFighter69's grandiose and selfish attempt to prevent WW2.

This is off topic, but:

If the Dem establishment and superdelegates now confirm Obama's nomination, and if Hillary's desire to run continues to take precedence (in her mind, at least, to party cohesiveness), wouldn't it be great if Hillary decided to continue her campaign as an "independent"?

Nettles Abaft! Now, that's a prickly situation.

Ooooh!

07/05/2114 At 04:32:45, Cassandra502 wrote: Have just returned from May 20, 2008, immediately following B.H. Obama's declaration of victory as the (then)Democrat Party's nominee in the 2008 POTUS race. Convinced Mrs. Clinton to continue her quest for the Co-Presidency as an Independent, citing the success of J. Lieberman over what's-his-face in Rhodecticut.

The resulting kerfluffery fragmented the roller$kating a$$hat wing to the point that President Cindy McCain issued Executive Order 3.14, establishing Endangered Moonbat preserves on Alaska's North Slope, next to the drilling rigs.
Unfortunately, most were crushed by glaciers during the Little Ice Age of 2014.

07/05/2114 At 18:32:45, BloodSpite007 wrote: Have just returned from June 17, 1972, whereupon I removed from functionality the carbon based unit known as Frank Wills at 14:00 in the afternoon preventing him from reporting to his job that evening.

The end result is a last minute replacement from a local truck stop is brought in to take his place, who spends his night watching Baseball instead of performing regular patrols.

Richard Nixon never resigns from office.

Heh. hehehehehehe.

Eve: Gooseberry bad; wait for Kiwi.

Cheers

Gooseberry bad; wait for Kiwi.

What's Murray got to do with horticulture?

Oh, now *that's* funny. Duffers. Can't shoot 'em, can't let 'em blow themselves up. ;)

Thanks very much for the golf story!!! I used it today at work. For some background, I'm currently Alaska Fire Service, one of the units we support is the Military Zone. This zone is responsible for the non-structure fire protection for all military (Army formally, AF by courtesy)) lands in Alaska. When I passed this story on, at first there were a few polite chuckles, followed by a quick silence, and then a stunning wall of knowing laughter!!

Thanks very much for passing this on!!

Having narrowly escaped paying $4 a gallon for gas yesterday, I did stop and think about how cheap it is compared to a lot of other stuff we buy. Still, I miss the days of paying under a dollar.

And bread was a nickle.

Just think of all the Tata autos being built in India for $2500. Or all the cars and trucks being built in China. The demand for oil will not come down any time soon.

The other big problem is that we were always blessed with cheap food compared to percentage of income for other contries. I just bought a box of Wheaties and it wasn't even a pound. I almost couldn't afford the bananas.

This could get very complicated.

Just six years ago I was paying $.84 a gallon for gas in Indiana. *sigh*

And like da Goddess, I feel lucky that I'm still under $4/gallon.

*waves to da Goddess* Long time, no see! :)

I just got a motorcycle endorsement on my DL, and am gonna buy an Asian-made scooter next week.

I may still have to pay a LOT for a gallon of gas like everyone else, but I'm not gonna buy any more than I have to! LOL

It's the start of my own small protest against Detroit, the UAW, Big Oil, OPEC, and the Feds. Ha!

Now, if only a tank of gas would last as long as a printer cartridge or bottle of shampoo! -- Especially when a unit (tank) of gas costs upwards of of $50 compared to a $25 printer cartridge or $8 for a bottle of shampoo.

It cost me $1.296 CDN/ litre for regular 87 octane today, that works out to $4.905 per U.S. gallon. That was a drop from $1.334/l ($5.05/G)on Thursday.
Pat

In The Netherlands a gallon wil cost you 9,83 dollar! That is why we use euros and liters for measurement, because it will only cost 1,56 euro a liter! Feels a lot better.

Buying gas in Austria the other day, the Hubster reached for the lower octance pump automatically, as we are accustomed to it being cheaper than the higher octanes. The attendant pointed out (with a little language juggling, since we don't speak German), that the price for the available selections of unleaded were all the same price, so why not use the higher octane?!

I saw essentially this same story back in the eighties. IIRC the final item was red ink - at twice the cost of black ink.

I am paying $US5.24 per Gallon in Australia. I see here US paying just below $4.00/Gal, Canada $4.91/Gal and the Netherlands $9.83/Gal

It would be interesting to see it compared with incomes and the amount of driving needed. Here the amount needed is high for the locations like shops, schools, work are far apart and poorly connected by public transport.

I hope very much we start using less so it does last more like bottles of shampoo. Public transport, better car efficiency etc. We also need to examine these fuel substitutes and non petrol cars as well as how to get the most out of the oil the earth has to offer.

I suspect many in the world cannot even touch the idea of consuming petrol.

she has big guns and is apparently very happy to see you.

Yup. It's that whole 27-inch zipper deal...

Ah, finally some pictures.

Carry on.

Heh. Ordering me to *carry on* is like ordering John to expand the Arsenal...

Sure, she may be highly-skilled and exceptionally endowed, but by the looks of her she must be HIGH MAINTENANCE.

***Does my MOLLE Gear Make Me Look Fat?***
***Oh My Gawwwd - Like, I went to the Latrine Last Night and - Like - Staring Me Down was - Like - the Biggest Camel Spider... - Eeewwww - Gross!****
***When will KBR start bringing skinny cherry yogurt, at the PX?****

On & On & On.... High Maintenance I tell ya!

Instead Rin-Tin, right here just needs a good belly rub, and a few Milk-Bones once in a while, and he's like butter in your hands.

Rinty would work okay as a doorgunner, Boq, but ya need opposable thumbs to work the TSU and the MCP to keep the TOW within post-launch constraints.

Hey! I said *con*straints, not *re*straints...

[patiently awaiting inevitable pert-nose-outta-joint *flounce*]

That's quite a crew, some enormous skill-sets there...

The number one weapon against Islamic extremists: scantily dressed women firing weapons.

It is like soca and pop rocks. Mix the two and "boom"..heads explode. LOL

Oh yeah, and let's not forget about Rin-tin's Crew Chief: SSG Blue. He's a bit camera shy, but boy, as many odes to his honor can attest, he sure has other skill sets.

*con*straints, *re*straints...it's all good.

Oooooo... bad trigger discipine!

Trigger discipline?

Must...not...make...obvious...shooting joke...

*prying fingers from keyboard*

Snort: one new photo ...

Cheers

Snort: one new photo ...

*sigh* You have *no* idea how difficult it is to get them to hold still long enough for a decent pic...

kinda hard to get a look at the aircraft with all those women of questionable character standing in the way.

Finally... a rational man! ;)

Can't you see, Fuzzy, that we men are all Dogs?

Finally... a rational man!

jim b was complaining that the mass of pulchritude obscured the pinup chick painted on the Apache, FuzzBee...

Heh. Ordering me to *carry on* is like ordering John to expand the Arsenal... -Bill

And, a job well done.

Keep up the good work soldier.

she has big guns and is apparently very happy to see you.

Yup. It's that whole 27-inch zipper deal...

Ah, finally some pictures.

Carry on.

Heh. Ordering me to *carry on* is like ordering John to expand the Arsenal...

Sure, she may be highly-skilled and exceptionally endowed, but by the looks of her she must be HIGH MAINTENANCE.

***Does my MOLLE Gear Make Me Look Fat?***
***Oh My Gawwwd - Like, I went to the Latrine Last Night and - Like - Staring Me Down was - Like - the Biggest Camel Spider... - Eeewwww - Gross!****
***When will KBR start bringing skinny cherry yogurt, at the PX?****

On & On & On.... High Maintenance I tell ya!

Instead Rin-Tin, right here just needs a good belly rub, and a few Milk-Bones once in a while, and he's like butter in your hands.

Rinty would work okay as a doorgunner, Boq, but ya need opposable thumbs to work the TSU and the MCP to keep the TOW within post-launch constraints.

Hey! I said *con*straints, not *re*straints...

[patiently awaiting inevitable pert-nose-outta-joint *flounce*]

That's quite a crew, some enormous skill-sets there...

The number one weapon against Islamic extremists: scantily dressed women firing weapons.

It is like soca and pop rocks. Mix the two and "boom"..heads explode. LOL

Oh yeah, and let's not forget about Rin-tin's Crew Chief: SSG Blue. He's a bit camera shy, but boy, as many odes to his honor can attest, he sure has other skill sets.

*con*straints, *re*straints...it's all good.

Oooooo... bad trigger discipine!

Trigger discipline?

Must...not...make...obvious...shooting joke...

*prying fingers from keyboard*

Snort: one new photo ...

Cheers

Snort: one new photo ...

*sigh* You have *no* idea how difficult it is to get them to hold still long enough for a decent pic...

kinda hard to get a look at the aircraft with all those women of questionable character standing in the way.

Finally... a rational man! ;)

Can't you see, Fuzzy, that we men are all Dogs?

Finally... a rational man!

jim b was complaining that the mass of pulchritude obscured the pinup chick painted on the Apache, FuzzBee...

Heh. Ordering me to *carry on* is like ordering John to expand the Arsenal... -Bill

And, a job well done.

Keep up the good work soldier.

Well,

It works for me.

"not that those are qualifiers.."?

sez who?

You edited me for Net Nanny!

I feel reprimanded.

No you don't. Reprimanded is when John writes in all caps with each word seperated by a period(or he comes down with THe Big Boot, or unfurls the Hairy Eyeball). Otherwise it's just tut-tutting, Maggie.
(Works kink out of back from last application of said Boot.)

What Ry said. I just put it in a vernacular I prefer for this place.

So I don't have to fight the net-nannies, as I have done in the past. It can take weeks to get your site off the blacklist, and having the Castle pop up as blocked for "Pr0n" is *not* good marketing.

Game.

Set.

Match.

The Danes were my favorite NATOians...this is why.

grinning... ear to ear... that's awesome.

Kinda like that ol' "men: how to please your woman" list, finished off with "women: how to please your man: show up nekkid with cold beer"

'Ritas - nekkid with 'ritas, on the rocks with salt.

That's my cats. I think they have tried to kill me at least five times this week. When I go into the kitchen, they walk with me, sit by their bowls, even if the bowls have food in them, and stare at me while I get a drink or whatever out of the fridge.

Everyday, I have to fight them for the door. I am convinced the only reason they come back when they do get out is because the neighbors have dogs all around us and they are too afraid to leave the yard.

I am also certain that they put the rug in the backroom in their litter box and poop on it for the same reasons.

Cats are evil.

Heh. Are not. Yeah, they do barf a lot, but other than that, and constantly trying to smother me by sitting on my chest, they're a pretty lovable group...

Uuggh..

I nearly forgot how one of the little hair balls barfed on my bed the other night. Just as I was dozing off to sleep, I heard this horrendous wretching sound and the cat stood up at the end of the bed. I couldn't find it with my feet to push it off before the inevitable, so there I was, trying to search for the light, not put my foot in cat barf, change the sheets (only to discover the cat had barfed on the floor as well) and go back to bed to get the usual six hours sleep.

At which point, trying to make it up to me, the cat walked up the bed, walked across my chest, stuck its tail in my face before curling up on the other side.

Then again, I don't think that was "making it up to me" so much as giving me an Obamaesque "thanks for doing your job, lowly human".

LOL- I'll remember that, John.

Kat-
Are you sure your cat and my cats haven't been talking? If the litter box isn't clean enough, mine go in, turn around, stick their butts out of the box, and then do their business! And THEN... they cover it up with the bathroom rug.

Claire is also insanely jealous of my keyboard for some reason. I guess she figures that if my fingers are doing some walking, they should be walking down her back and chin instead of the keyboard.

Little Orphan Annie has a neatness fetish. When she discovers one of her tribe has made a boo-boo, whether barf or out the other end, she searches until she finds a sock and then takes it and places it over the offending pile...

Having had many dogs and having to put up with a number of cats it is my understanding that:

Dogs have owners,
Cats have staff.

Oh well.

"Dogs have owners,
Cats have staff."

I like that one.

So cats live in the 'The Prisoner'

TRias,

I learned it as:

Dogs have masters.

Cats have servants.

I would own a dog. Dogs go hunting with you and fishing with you, and catch frisbees and balls. Cats seems to just sort of lay around and leer at you. I mean, seriously... what's a cat supposed to do on it's day off? It can't lay around the house, 'cause that's it's job... :)

...she searches until she finds a sock and then takes it and places it over the offending pile...

Ah. So *that* explains why you're not wearing them.

There is one last paragraph which isn't in your version,

"The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe... for now."

"My Sibs Are As Odd As I Am"

They claim you.
'Nuff said.
*snicker*

*skipping away through the trees and breeze*
0>;~}

Looks like someone is just being bitter .... LOL

I like the "right through the scope" touch.

So when are you going to get the new Canine of Argghhh?
The Clinton model, that runs around in circles, biting its own ass all day?

I didn't vote for it... ok, I did... I didn't vote for it... ok, I did... I didn't vote for it... ok, I did.
All.Day.Long.

Bill's calumny above notwithstanding... the Exterior Guard of Castle Argghhh! are too smart for that, and too busy chasing the coyotes away to get distracted like that.

I wish I had a sufficiently clapped out, unserviceable rifle to modify into that actual configuration...

Yes, but would you have the guts (or stupidity level) necessary to actually deliver the weapon to Clinton?

I'll start the bail fund!

Um, no, I wouldn't. I'd put it in a glass case, with a sign that read "In case of sagging poll numbers, break glass!" and hang it in the Vault.

I am a little disappointed she did not opt for the Hello Kitty model.

They weren't available back in the 90's!

Is that a Gerber in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

Oops! That will probably only work with the war lords and I don't recommend it come from the DG sort.

How about...Wow! That's some hardware you got there!

How would you like to learn the BillT method of sharpening knives? Guaranteed to fight off rust and keep them sharp at least until next Friday.

*scribbling furiously*

Okay, kat, continue...

Uhhh, by-the-by -- just *how* did you know I carry a Gerber?

And a Russell folder.

And a...

Having been there, done that a couple of times, I think Bill's dead on the money here. I have to admit, though, that I've far less practical experience in these matters than he, mostly because the love of my life is a red-haired Irishwoman with a short temper who is a somewhat better pistol shot than I am...

and here I thought I was the only redheaded short tempered irish woman to lurk around here .pot

Well, Maggie *used* to lurk, pot. And HF6, and...

Given the number of battle blades carried by myself and my comrades: I am so not going there...

Nope, not with this crowd...

I would not suggest, "My...those ARE sharp and pointy." Translatory problem may occur.

Nor..."I'll show you mine if you show me yours." Unless the object(s) in question have already been established in a previous sentence.

"I like a gal with a nice, wide ricasso..."
Try that one, Chief...

I lurk, then I report to oldloder , his internet access is very limited and he feels deprived.he should be all connected by sunday inshalla , then watch out , inshalla .

Gee, sounds remarkably similar to encounters in *some* parts of SoCA. Well, maybe the other way around. Start with the discussion of available *cutlery* and work your way up to shy eye contact. lol

Guess that Unkabill hasta experience The Scandinavian Single-bevel Grind. Though dunno whether there are any ARNG units from Fargo deployed out there.

Guess that Unkabill hasta experience The Scandinavian Single-bevel Grind.

She was my *first* ex-wife...

"I like a gal with a nice, wide ricasso..."
Try that one, Chief...

Right. Just as soon as my new titanium hauberk gets here...

Heh. pot understates herself. She's not Irish by linear extrapolation from some immigrant shambling through Ellis Island... she's a *recent* import [erm, 'transplant'].

'Ware!

bee nice , I'm really a just a kitten with large claws, ask oldloader, got him to go back to the mid east didnt I ?? soon i'll be there too . Proud to be an import.

preferr term transplant, then I feel I did some good since coming here !!!!!

With full Battle Rattle none of the tried and true one liners would work.

"Gee...you've lost weight".
"I like what you've done with your hair".
"Nice shoes".

Then again you can try humor..."I'd like to kiss you in a place you've never been kissed before".
If she doesn't draw down on you...tell her Kuwait.

LOL FM that was funny.

Spray on cargo pants? Doesn't that defeat the whole purpose of them being cargo? I'll never figure our women(contractors) and fashion. (Sigh).

Pot, getting Loader to go back? Naw, I likes him here. Whist both o' yas stayed Stateside if you could.

Dinner tonight, sitting across from a female contractor...the standard-issue plastic knife snapped at the first attempt to cut the standard-issue roast beef...expletive muttered under my breath as I pulled out the Gerber Guardian and surgically sliced my roast beef...aforementioned contractor sighs and nearly swoons...and promptly snaps out a 7" switchblade and attacks her roast beef...how cool is that?

Now I know why oldloder gave me my very own swiss army knife for xmas ............

When do you get to sing her the latest thong?

Well, If I were sitting across the dining table in that room, across from a gal wearing "spray-on cargo pants" and the subject came up, and I was feeling courageous, I might say something like "You're not serious!"

And then she might answer back, "Not serious about what?"

Oh, I don't lurk. I'm red headed, Irish, and short-tempered (some days I'm shorter than others) but I don't lurk. I'm here in all my glory ;~P

Bill ~ you missed a week. Ya know...the one where you mention that the PX got a new shipment of thongs...

Pictures!

Give us pictures!

Heh, MH scored big major bonus points for this year's Christmas knife.
0>;~}

Bill, I'd start with some *subtle* like, "Sooo, do you like rawhide or full-grain leather........sheaths, that is?"
*snicker*

Heh, MH scored big major bonus points for this year's Christmas knife.
0>;~}

Bill, I'd start with something *subtle* like, "Sooo, do you like rawhide or full-grain leather........sheaths, that is?"
*snicker*

Well, that was *interesting*....

Well, that was *interesting*....

The subject matter or the double post?

The Great Hall Echo is an Equal Opportunity Phenomenon...

Heh, MH scored big major bonus points for this year's Christmas knife.

The rice knife with the thyroid problem? Works great for making cole slaw...

"Works great for making cole slaw..."

Works very nicely on rattlesnake heads, too, thankyouverymuch.

o>;~}

"Cut me, Bill! Cut me!" LOL

Oh, this quote is more appropriate for Hillary:

"You stop this fight, I'll kill ya'!"

LOL

Question is though... Will Hill Chase the Chicken, or will Apollo Creed beat her in the 15th?

Classic -- it deserves wide dissemination.

I was going to berate you on this analogy and horrible cut and paste job, and then I read the article.

"He doesn't know that this is a damn show! He thinks this is a damn fight! Finish that bum and let's go home!"

Apollo Creed's trainer or Hillary Clinton's campaign advisor? You make the call...

I'll be quiet now.

AAaaaaggghhh! That just gave me horrendous mental aneurysm

Jason - it wasn't a horrible cut and paste job and you know it!

You just didn't *like* it...

8^ )

I like this quote from Paulie, talking about Adrian .... if we substitute Hillary:

Forget her...You could do better than her...She's a friggin' loser...Sometimes she gets me so crazy, I could split her head with a razor... [Hillary] ain't sharp. [Hillary] is a loser...She's pushin' thirty-friggin' years old [ok, Hillary's past 60!] and if she don't watch out, she's gonna end up dyin' alone...The girl's dryin' up...If she don't start livin', her body's gonna dry up.

Source for great Rocky quotes:

http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Rocky_%28film%29

I think I'm gonna be sick....

Me: Why do you want to run for office?
Hill: Because I can't sing or dance.

Me: Einstein flunked out of school, twice.
Hill: Is that so?
Me: Yeah. Beethoven was deaf. Helen Keller was blind. I think you've got a good chance.

orrrr...
Hill to Obama: I think we make a real sharp couple of coconuts - I'm dumb, you're shy, whaddaya think, huh?

Never has our 42nd President served so well as arm candy before.

BTW - Shouldn't our future 44th President have a top on? With so expansive chestage, she should be a bit more demure about it. The HORROR!

Grumble...I wasn't gonna comment, because the picture is creeping me out, but Bill kinda looks like this dude:

http://www.movieactors.com/freezes1/Dracula6.jpg

Good helk. I will need counseling.

Slowly wending its way into the 21st Century, the Great Hall Echo goes *visual*...

... and the horse.

Cheers

We had a working dog that frequented our TOC that was involved in a lot of air assault operations and they had "doggles" for him. Honest to God that is what they are called, "doggles".

typical Chem geek; shows up clueless at the TOC wearing spaz-glasses....

..and i bet the poor pooch gets stuck doing the monthly USR.

Dammit went to put the rubbish out this morning and couldn't... damned snipers! If i'd had a wife and daughter I would have sent them like Slick Willie.

Was late for class but it was ok, the lecturer was trapped in the admin building... snipers.

Bus was delayed so they sent us LAV's. Damned snipers on the bridge again.

Politician hits bottom -- begins to dig in...

Is it true shes getting Harry Stamper on staff?

Sounds like it has the credibility of Major Payne starring Damon Wayans. Man that movie sucked.

Ms. Simpson:

Wearing Class Bs vice As which BCT always graduates in.

Not wearing the three ribbons she'd be authorized.

Has her marksmanship badge up too high.

HAS F*CKING EARRINGS IN HER EAR. Those wouldn't be authorized if she was in a real unit, much less Basic Training.

*facepalm*

For the love of all that's holy.

I can nitpick this all to hell and back, but the one thing that's driving me nuts is the shirt.

I just looked at my class a shirt and the princess seam (the one that runs vertically across the center of each breast) goes all the way up to my shoulder and there is NO side dart on the side of the breast.

Oh, and her earrings are unauthorized in appearance, to say NOTHING of size.

Thanks for making female soldiers look like idiots.

Beret? She's wearing a Beret? ... and earrings? I didn't notice.

There are a couple of things that do stand out though.

jim b goes for a Scoresby.

"Has her marksmanship badge up too high"

AR- 670-1 Para 29-16
"Female personnel. On the service or dress uniform coats and on the maternity tunic, marksmanship badges are worn on the left side, 1⁄4 inch below the bottom ribbon row, or in a similar location if ribbons are not worn. Personnel
may adjust the placement of badges to conform to individual body-shape differences."

Clearly, Jessica Simpson has a 'body-shape' difference. ;)

I'll agree with the earing not being spherical, but considering no one else in that pic is wearing the basic graduation ribbon, let alone the other 2 "authorized" (Even though I fondly remember getting out of boot with just one ribbon myself a score and some years ago) it's a leap in logic that this pic actually shows them mid or post-graduation.

Not one rank in sight either.

As for summary executions, the asshat that forced the beret on the entire Army to begin with needs to line up first.

And oh yea, and this could be the scene in the movie where the DI tells them all to go get their Class B's on for the first time and a snap inspection and "You're all ate up, soldier!" profanity-riddled "morale-boosting" criticism session.

Now THAT would be more real-to-life. ;)

Yeah ... what jim said. LOL

Huh...

Army, eh? I thought they were UN Cops or something, what with that UN-looking device on the beret.

Were it up to me, I'd take away all the A & B uniforms from everyone and have them wear field uniforms all the time. :)

Class B uniforms are worn for BCT graduation during warm weather months (roughly late April through September). You're welcome to try standing out on the Ft Benning parade field in Class A's in August if you want to.

And yes, Ms Simpson definitely has 'body shape differences.' If she was actually wearing ribbons, they'd have to be WAY up there in order to make room for the qual badges.

And everyone in that formation has jacked up berets, not just Simpson. The female immediately behind her (wearing glasses that wouldn't be allowed in BCT, either, BTW) has got the Pierre thing going on, and the next on back looks about 2 sizes too big and just dropped on her head.

And, though I've never actually seen an entire graduating company composed of nothing but E-1s, such a thing is possible, which would explain the lack of visible rank.

Oh for crying out loud..
they're called boobs.

It's a pic of a boob with boobs. She's an idiot with a great singing voice and boobs.

Hey - all *I* was after was the soldier two after Simpson with the hosed beret.

*That's* PVT Jeter.

I dunno what the rest of you are blathering about...

Visual proof that the beret for all troops (regardless of the branch of service) is stoopid.

I spent 8 years in the Pentagon and had the joy of watching a couple of "uniform boards" at work. In my not-at-all humble opinion, it is all about the manufacturers finding ways to get new money for uniforms from the services. If the service didn't go along with the recommendaiton of the civilian-dominated uniform review board, some senior senator squawked.

Shocked? Why? If the weasels can find a way to siphon off taxpayer bucks (and pass a few pennies of each buck to Senators and Representatives) they will. And so, the USAF changes shades of blue like K-Mart at Christmas (and winds up looking like the frigging Navy) and the Army gets (shudder) Black Berets all around and looks like the Serbian military police.

Hollywood seldom gets the little fiddly bits right. "We were Soldiers, once, and young" was fraught with Helicopter Model faux paus and footage without the right gun mounts, etc.

Sometimes it just ain't right.......and you have to overlook it and just enjoy a good story.

Scorsby's? We burried the last Scorsby's drinker in Union County Indiana about 5 years ago.......I thought for sure that would put them out of business.......

What beret?

Aw right soldiers!

Ah-ten... shun!

Suck in that stomach! Stick out that chest!

And... and... and.... er, ah... ah.... umm....

Dismiss!

It's a pic of a boob with boobs. She's an idiot with a great singing voice and boobs.

EXACTLY.

Been the first time I've seen her in a shirt where all the buttons were being used.

Let alone a shirt that even had buttons.

The guy in the fifth rank, with his finger in his ear, is committing the worst offense, in my opinion.
Pat

"Dramatic License?!?!?"
Ok, the Old Retire Petty Officer does not pretend to know anything about Army Uniforms.

It's a pic of a boob with boobs. She's an idiot with a great singing voice and boobs.

Sounds about right. That woman is a few fries short of a happy meal.

I just don't think the ability to grow large mammary glands is worthy of much admiration but then...I'm a woman and don't have booby ADD.

Marksmanship Badge? How could she possibly shoot rappid fire prone and steady up for the second shot?

Nice recruiting posters though.

Yeah, this photo has already flown around a lot here, being that I've been part of a Jessica investigation... pics in the barracks, oh no!

Makes me love the maroon beret tha much more!

Snerk. I just love the baggage this thing brought out.

Boy, girl, young, old, Army, Navy...

Looks like the link from Noonan brought a few people by...

I figured it was going to go something like this - at least I hoped so.

Heh. I'm old enough, I actually *did* jump all over the beret - and realized what that said about me - so I thought I'd see what would get a rise outta you guys.

Me? I like my wimmin with some brains, and the boobs are just a nice afterthought.

Ergo, Jessica doesn't twitch my meter.

Believe it or not.

Booby Add? (I took the liberty of correcting the extra caps for ya.) Is that a new breast enhancement drug?
*snicker*
0>;~}

Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD)

Thanks for the correction though it wasn't necessary.

If we could just PEEK into Pvt. Jeter's thoughts, wouldn't that be a hoot!

John, times have changed! Sir, that is what you call, an OUTSTANDING soldier. They are surely standing out!

I might be old, but I'm not dead yet!

Grumpy

P.S. - John, The best thing you could have done. Laughter is still the best medicine.

What with having mixed-sex units, I think there is something to be said for loosely-fitting uniforms, for the sake of freedom of movement, or something. No, wait, that sounds titillating to my dirty mind, too...

Ok, let's just get 'em to wear the silly hats right, and we'll work on the rest later.

As a former bandsman, I recommend shakos. You can keep all kindsa stuff up in one of them.

Besides, all of the mechanical killbots in "Girl Genius" wear shakos. Makes you look taller, and all.

P.s. Of course, the Poles have always had the weirdest and silliest hats, not to mention the Angel Wings on their cavalrymen.

Me? I like my wimmin with some brains, and the boobs are just a nice afterthought.

Ergo, Jessica doesn't twitch my meter.

Time to get a new meter

As somebody who gets laid maybe once/decade if he's lucky, I prolly shouldn't get into this, but, hey, it's the Internet, it's late at night, and I've been drinking...

Dang, Jim! Context! The boy is married! The wife is a proven good shot! He _has_ to say that!

That said, I'm older than The Donovan by a bit, and I, too, find that images of good-lookin' wimmin are more likely to make me think "Wow, that's nice!" than they are to make me think "OMG, gotta have it right now!" as used to be the case.

I'm not sure if it's the light or if the two top buttons are a different color than the bottom two.
That said, Who cares?,,,It's a movie for gosh sakes. Hollywood is supposed to get it wrong, don't they get nearly everything else wrong?
Look at the Girls Of The IDF. Their uniforms don't exactly match everytime. I ain't stupid enough to pick a fight with any of them.
For those that have forgotten, back when Jessica was still married, she and hubby went overseas and entertained the troops.
There are no rumors of her doing drugs or going into rehab. There are no videos of her having sex with some hollywood birdbrain.
Her singing abilities are not all that great, but WHO CARES? She looks great and when she was touring she went to the hospitals to be with the wounded and gave them some extra attention and TLC. As I remember she sat on the bed with some and gave a few hugs.
When in public she seems to have some dignity and I have never seen her dressing like some of the real idiots like B. Spears or Paris Hilton. For the most part her publicity has been good. She is smart enough to be a multi-millionaire and that's more than most of the rest of us can say. And she is a whole lot smarter that most of the old New York women that retired to Florida and couldn't work a simple voting machine. AND she doesn't act like a spoiled brat.
Jessica does a commercial for an acne skin treatment with some of the women actors on CSI Miami. I thought she did a very good professional job,,,just like the other professionals did. Emily Proctor is a south eastern born & raised girl that used to go hunting with her dad and she and Jessica both did a good job on the commercial.
Jessica Simpson seems willing to work and not cause any trouble and with her tour for the troops that is enough for me to give her an OK an a good luck. (that is unless she does something really stupid) She has some personality and probably would be a fun girl to be out on a date with.

Quibble all you want about the details, but the thing that bugs me most about this movie is that it stars Simpson. Isn't her fifteen up yet?

AgPilot66: re: the different color buttons.

they are really all the same color. some are in the shade, others are at an optimal angle for reflecting the lights... optimal. and shady...

Isn't her fifteen up yet?

The honest truth is that her fifteen won't be up until her rack sags down. And then she'll likely wonder why nobody's paying attention any more.

I'm as prone to gawk as any male with functioning parts, but I've been around long enough to separate looks from substance, which is why I'm with John and Carrie on this one: "I just don't think the ability to grow large mammary glands is worthy of much admiration"..."I like my wimmin with some brains..."

Just as my wife of more than twelve years will watch the beach volleyball scene from Top Gun with you as many times as you're willing to press rewind, but would cringe if ever asked to shake Tom Cruise's hand.

Okay, I thought I was told in 2003 when I got yanked out of the IRR and shoved back into the active green machine that the beret was issued at a Soldier's first permanent party station - or at AIT graduation, perhaps.

Wouldn't Basic Trainee's be wearing a Garrison Cap (which, in the female version, would be worthy of even more commentary)?

icsvwbd fjbyxp yvrtwfcxz axpm axcoy clokshg tbnvgx

icsvwbd fjbyxp yvrtwfcxz axpm axcoy clokshg tbnvgx

icsvwbd fjbyxp yvrtwfcxz axpm axcoy clokshg tbnvgx

I would have loved to see this in person.
back in '73 my dad did a low level on a Montana Highway Patrolman runnning radar west of Havre on US 2. He was in a Cessna 172 Skyhawk. The Trooper was a family friend. He said his radar showed 135.

AWESOME!

Whoa! Talk about Friendly Fire!!

I hate to be a myth buster, but none of the speed-measurement radars I've ever used (I'm a cop in civilian life) go that high. Once a certain speed is reached (it depends on the make of radar), the display just goes blank.

K Newman.. keep in mind, these limeys were most likely reading the speed in KPH..

300kph = ~186mph Even the real "Mythbusters" recorded speeds over that with radar on their shows IIRC.

;)

Heh. I don't really believe the story. I just think it's funny and gave me an intro for the video...

8^ D

Well, it doesn't look like an orange(navel) to me, but Bibendum, the Michelin Man.

Pat

Funny illusion! Those are the antenna for the Satellites.

looks like the stay puff marshmellow man though!

As a long-time BN/BDE staff weenie, I have to admit that was freakin' awesome. I can think of at least 5-10 guys that could be filling the role of the boss...

Must be after my time, what's a BUB?

I know another 10 guys who could have been the model for the boss!

John - it's explained in the title - Battle Update Brief.

But if you missed it - others probably will too!

Also known as Commander's Update, Daily Ops Summary, etc.

John of Argghhh, "doh". I hate that when I feel dumb.

Ah, you were tricked because the title is in all caps...

Wow, that was very funny. Change the subject to why the budget wasn't met and that would be repeated in many corporations, including the clueless boss.

That was freakin' hilarious.

I have never been to a BUB, but I have been to plenty of briefs like this on submarines/ships/aircraft carriers.

I've done that brief along the way. I obviously need to talk to supply to get an upgrade on my laser pointer though.

Reminds me of the typical nav brief on a Coast Guard Cutter.

Graves - I had the same thought.

Hillarious!!! I was the GIB (guy in Back) Great Job!!

Seems typical of meetings. And there's nothing brief about a brief.

Years ago when I was still a green suiter, I was my Cav Squadron's MG. I would have to run into the three's office 4-5 times a day to brief him on the same stuff I just sent him e-mail updates on. He wouls read my e-mail while I briefed him and undoubtly miss something. So he would stop me and ask me questions about what I just explained to him. For example I would brief him on the convoy planned maintenace stop on our way to the range and wich 1SGT had LOGPAC and he would stop me and ask, so we are roadmarching there? Did you plan for a maintenance stop? Anyway, I would loose my place and end up frustrated and furious. This went on for months until I broght a tape recorder to his office. One of those big obnoxious tape recorders the size of a shoe box we used to record the fire net. Ayway, when he asked why I was recording the briefing, I responded, "Sir, it is so you can rewind it at your leisure until you understand what Im briefing."
Not a good call. Good thing the old man liked me, otherwise..... The good thing is that the F*&(ing repeated briefings stoped.

as Dave Berry allegedly said:

"Meetings are a highly addictive self indulgent form of behavior all large organizations engage in, simply because they cannot masturbate."

dark nights at my first NG unit were fun because people would bring booze. the honesty was fun, and the end results could be interesting come drill weekend. %-)

Classic and priceless. Being a Training PO in a squadron I can completely relate. The amount of gold on the uniform was inversely proportional to the collective intelligence and common sense factor of that individual.

And I love that Dave Berry quote.

captured it perfectly.

(and i have been in each of the roles involved0

BUBs and staff meetings can quickly deteriorate in a "flailex." One of my unforgetable briefing experiences came as a mech battalion S4 prepping for an NTC rotation. A tradition for units rotating through Ft Irwin was to paint the unit crest on a big rock on the road leading to main post. The CDR and the XO directed me to rail load our own rock from Ft Carson to the NTC. The S3 and I assumed they were joking and started laughing - they were serious and the laughter was not well received.

Apparently I was an incompetent S4, we "forgot" to load the rock on the train.

I work at a casino. We had a meeting today. It was very similar to this one. It's bad form to pull the lightsaber out on your boss who also happens to be a tribal member. :-(

Oh man, I can relate. Here in the "real" world crap like this is rampant. Is it information overload or is it just plain stupid managers????

Steve

the story of "work"

5. If you give me more than one job to do, don't tell me which is the priority. I am psychic.

No, no, no, no, no. It is EVERY JOB is P-1.....

I actually had a manager (when I was working field service) that did this. I mean EVERY JOB was "PRIORITY ONE". A fellow technician gave me some advice. He said "Ignore him. He won't remember what he asked for anyway, don't waste your effort." That worked until the manager went to a Time Systems (now Franklin Covey) time management course and started actually following up. I finally told him after a flurry of those "P-1" jobs hit my desk, when all jobs have the same priority, I get to pick and choose which ones to work on and complete. To say the least we had a tempestuous relationship as manager/peon. Heh.

Oh, did I mention that the manager had been an ET on a sewer pipe? Not that I have anything against sewer pipe sailors. In fact, the guy that hired me fresh out of the navy was one. We spent most of the interview on submarines and targets (I was a carrier sailor AT/AIMD on the America now resting 6000ft down in the Atlantic. So he was right. It WAS a target!)

If you are only now learning to actually use English, be sure to tell me frequently how badly I speak or understand my native language. Your inability to pronounce several critical consonants is not at all an impediment to understanding.

When you assign me work items which will require special tools, do not trouble yourself to see that I have such. Nor should you worry about telling me where to go or to whom to apply for such. I know how to fill out an expense report for full retail.

On those occasions when you do actually want me to talk with someone else, couch your desires in the form "send an email to India" or "call Cleveland". I can easily construct a list of everyone in the targeted geographic area from the online employee directory.

Please do not fly into a jealous rage when you find me talking with the co-worker in the next cube. There is always a chance that he knows if the lights are expected back on. I may yet learn to carry extra flashlight batteries in my briefcase.

If you decide to discuss the next phase of our project with me, be sure to use every nickname that the project/phase has acquired. This will improve my understanding of what the hell is going on. Especially when many of the nicknames for the next phase were applied to earlier phases of the same, similar, or completely different and unrelated projects.

Homebru - hmmmm, that doesn't sound like a story you heard... more like a nightmare you lived!

... and then there are the ex-gunners. Well ...

Cheers

Hey, do you guys know me and the people I work for?!?!? WTF-Over?

Haha, very appropriate! How do I get my hands on one of those tabs. Ideally, it could be morphed into a warfare pin for us Navy folk.

LT - click the picture of the tab... that will take you to an online store where you can buy one.

Dam right you're exaggerating, Chief! When did a logger ever make *that* kinda profit?!

I bet this is the way it is with some school systems. I do not know if they are all like this but the math skills do seem to be lacking. I have seen most movie theaters make certain everything is charged to the nearest Quarter. Tax is included in the item cost. It could very well be that is done to solve the issue you had at the Restraunt.

Oh great! Now the NEA is neither teaching proper Arithmetic nor Spanish. That poor attempt of Castilian is atrocious.

Related trivia: Waffle House still uses the old fashioned cash registers that don't figure the change. They use being able to make change the old fashioned way as an aptitude test for employment. Which could indicate that a workforce that is predominantly red-neck has superior math skills to the rest of the service industry employees.

I've had loads of fun showing other students at my flight school that you really can do an accurate weight and balance using the E-6B (flight computer) as a slide rule... Hee, hee...

I used to amaze and baffle my fellow officers demonstrating the old army slide rule (which I have two of, still).

And then showing them the site sticks were essentially just slide rules.

Neffi -- there's *lots* of profit in exotic wood. Just think how much cheaper your bug-smasher would be if it weren't made of balsa...

there's *lots* of profit in exotic wood

*walks away, biting tongue, shaking head*

Heh,

Sad to relate, but for a couple months my wife worked at a local McDonalds in between jobs. She does pretty well with math, but she was shocked her first day there. Rather than put numbers on the cash registers, they have symbols of the various products, and the teller just punches the buttons relating to what you order. The machine automatically figures the math for you.

What gets my wife, though, is how I can figure totals, including taxes, in my head while shopping. She can't do that.

On a related note, I lit into my younget's 4th-grade teacher last conference. They no longer teach multiplication tables by rote. I asked her how she could justify it, and she quoted the party line about some kids not being able to memorize as well as others, etc. The school didn't want to injure self-esteem.

When my youngest finishes this year, we're going to be home schooling from now on.

Respects,

'Just think how much cheaper your bug-smasher would be if it weren't made of balsa...'
That's 6061 T6 aluminum to *you*, Bubba... and if you ever make it out to these here parts I'll strap you in the back seat and show you how to chase coyotes... and don't look up when we go under the wires.
Beer and BBQ to follow... yow! If'n we make it back.

Probably right on about the pitiful education in the public schools. But your math is off.

Production costs may be $80 but you forgot to add the costs for:
OSHA compliance officer
EEOC compliance officer
EPA compliance officer
DOT compliance officer
Human Resources manager
Extra costs for a driver with a CDL to run across town.
"Extra" cost for that tank of diesel.
Higher taxes, insurance, permit fees, ad infinitum.

Bottom line is that the $100 load of lumber costs about $125. Your poor sucker's out of business with his first shipment.

Unless, of course, he lays off all of his employees, buys a load of lumber drop shipped from China for $50, and has the customer pick it up at the terminal. Then the math problem is simpler.

"If the customer pays cash, does the logger have to tell the IRS?"

Dang! When I was in school, in the fifties and sixties, we learned about commutative, associative, and other properties of arithmetic, and the number line, and real and rational numbers, and cetera. We learned in 7th grade, taught by a crabby old smart woman, how to change from decimal to octal to binary and back and forth any which way. (She always corrected us when we called the course "math"; she told us we were learning arithmetic and that math would come later)

We were taught how to make change in ELEMENTARY school. Third grade, mayb

p.s. Besides, what's so hard about making change?

Let's say the bill comes to $12.58 and the customer hands me $20.00. I think, ok, two cents makes sixty, a dime makes seventy, a nickel makes seventy-five, and a quarter makes $13.00, and seven makes twenty.

I think modern technology makes it too easy to be dumb.

And just think CW4, who will be designing those fun collections of parts moving in formation? Just better hope myself and other don't punch in numbers wrong for the finite element code!

Of course the 5 foot blade can take 10 feet of deflection, Mr Computer tells me so!

I thank a nice lady (and double PHD) from Pakistan who decided that teaching Calc in an american school was her calling in life. Set me up pretty well for these here classes.

Guys, I just have to be contrary (of course) That was funny, but....

My 9th grade daughter is no math wiz, but she is doing math that I was never taught to do. She uses graphic calculators, and she is doing algebra using shortcuts and tools that I'd never seen before. Moreover, she is doing similar kinds of math in both her biology class (genetics) and her math class, which is cool because it shows how the stuff is applied--AND she is in the class for people who need extra help!!!

Look, I know there are folks at McDs who can't make change without a machine to tell them how, but the schools (at least in mid-Texas) are teaching real math and the students are being tested in it. Also, even though the Spanish bit was funny, the kids here are NOT taking the tests in Spanish unless that's the language they speak best.

Yeah, yeah, I know, our 'sovereignty' demands they should be taking the test in English, the only language of our land, blah, blah, blah... What do I care what language they are speaking if they are doing the math properly, eh?

As for my kid... Well, she didn't do so well on the state test last year, so she goes to tutoring 3 times a week before school, and she is in a class where the teacher gets to spend more time with her. Is this universally true? No, and I know it, but I also know that the 5-6,000 kids in high school in this school district (and it's not a 'rich' one either) are all being taught the same stuff, and they are being held to the state standard. And yeah, we could argue the point about standards, and value of same, etc., but what I know, what I see with my own eyes, is that my daughter is getting a far better education than I did, and I finished HS in 73. She is doing more, her classes are more connected, there are more counselers, I can look up her grades on line, and so on.

All in all, I think the current crop of kids are being offered a much better public school education than most people realize (at least in some places). Now whether the kids and parents put effort into themselves and take advantage of what they are being offered, well, that's another story.

ooooohhhhhhh
Neffi's gonna strap Bill into his backseat....???
must be present for that, so please give me enough warning to arrange transportation.
*grin*

HI SANGER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How's it goin', stranger?

Re. your daughter:
My son has been taught "traditional" math so far, including this year. But, next year, in 6th grade, he'll start using a calculator for most things, and he'll no longer have spelling tests. Their reasoning? Because in the real world, people use calculators and they use spell-check on computers. But... they're not having computer classes or typing, because funding has been cut. I am determined to make sure my kids are not hunt-n-peckers, so I'll have to teach them my mad typing skilz at home.

Calculators? CALCULATORS? I remember my Algebra II teacher in High School, Mrs. Taber, slapping me down (verbally) for daring to draw a slide rule in her class. It was log tables in the back of the book, and linear interpolation done with pencil and paper, dammit!

P.s. And yes, I did walk to and from school, at age 7 or so, and it wasn't uphill either way, and there was no snow, it being Southern FL, and there was no barbed wire around my elementary school, and I and my parents were perfectly OK with all of that.

GeoSTI:

And just think CW4, who will be designing those fun collections of parts moving in formation?

The same people doing it now -- H1Bs from Asia. Hired at 50¢ on the dollar. Or Asian immigrants -- the bulk of the people sticking it out in engineering schools today.

Meanwhile, our native-born mathphobes are graduating with degrees in pre-Columbian Art Appreciation and $100,000 loan balances, and they're shocked, shocked to find that employers are not beckoning them, and casting rose petals in their path.

Understand numeric concepts and you will always be able to make yourself useful. I never understood why one can graduate college without a single statistics class. If that were a requirement, we'd hear much less nonsense use of factoids based on mean averages, for one thing.

It's the same here in Doity Joisey except the little counter "Chicklets" don't cry, they get hostile. What-the-hell.

You'd think that if any region would be likely to go all touchy-feely and self-esteemy on math skills and the like it would be mine in suburban New Jersey. But they are as serious as rain about this type of thing in our district. The kids are expected to know their tables before entering 3rd grade. The middle schoolers get 2+ hours of homework per night.

It's all about college prep here and it is just ridiculously competitive. The administrators tell the parents that there isn't a school in the NE actively seeking more students from North Jersey and you must compete against your own region for spots.

I feel bad for the little goomers. I never had to work anywhere near that hard in school.

Being somewhat younger (not quite 30 now) I will have to disagree a little bit with the bemoaning of math skills. I was counting in binary in fourth grade (it was actually being taught in my class, so we all were) and we were learning all the geometric and trigonometric concepts through high school. We used graphing calculators, sure, but we also had to be able to graph by hand, and we had all previously been able to do most functions without the aid of a calculator. Except logarithms and the like, but seriously, before calculators to do logarithms for you everybody had tables anyway, right?

In addition, my senior year of high school the math class was calculus, although just single-variable. First semester differential, second semester integral, although I graduated before the second semester.

Now, my public school might have been an aberration, and I'll be damned sure my son is able to learn math at least as fast as I was able, but I think it's a bit of a mistake to say that math isn't being taught in schools.

On the other hand, my mother mentioned to me the other day that one of my younger sister's teachers claimed in a PTA meeting there wasn't any need to teach long division anymore since all the kids would have calculators anyway....

When Thurber wrote "The Figgerin' of Aunt Wilma," it was funny. Except we now know it wasn't funny; it was prophetic.

My wife and I agreed that we still think public school is important, as crazy and wrongheaded as it can be at times. But we also agreed that we would not rely on it for our kid's education. Ours learn math and science at my feet, mainly because of my enthusiasm for the subjects, and we divide other duties.

I have opinions about what schools ought to be teaching, but what the kids actually learn is more important to me.

I had an similar experience at a restaurant a while back where I gave the cashier a $10 bill and she accidentally entered into the cash register that I had given her a $5 bill. She realized she had made a mistake, but had no clue how to fix it. She asked her coworkers for help and they had no clue and none of them had a calculator. After a few minutes they gave up trying and I ended up with a dollar extra in change.

Also, I heard one of the bank managers at my local branch say the reason an not enough people with the math skills to do the job.

but I think it's a bit of a mistake to say that math isn't being taught in schools.

Math is being taught, but students are often not learning it. My high school offered calculus as well, but only 5-10% of the students actually took calculus before they graduated.

AW1 Tim...
...she quoted the party line about some kids not being able to memorize as well as others, etc. The school didn't want to injure self-esteem.

10th grade, '63, English teacher required us to memorize the 'helping verbs'. I did not succeed and could not recite next day in class. She told me, in language I understood, that I would know them next day.

Next day, my recitation was flawless as it is today.

What I observe is a huge disparity between schools, and maybe even between classes within a particular high school. I know many kids at church who are in public schools who are clearly doing challenging work in math and other subjects. OTOH, students at the local community college tell me that almost half the students coming into the college go into developmental math, developmental reading and writing because they are NOT prepared for college work. Furthermore, the developmental math classes aren't just helping students master algebra, they are working on basic addition and multiplication.

Why is there such disparity between students in the same community? I'm sure some of it can be attributed to parental involvement, and to socioeconomic conditions, but I think part of it is the trend away from teaching elementary kids the basics.
When schools teach the basics, all the kids get the foundation to build on. When the basics, like multiplication tables, are glossed over or pushed aside to make time for more "interesting and challenging" work, a lot of kids get left behind. The kids who are slightly ahead developmentally will be fine, and the kids whose parents make sure they learn the basics will be okay, and they probably benefit from the opportunity to play around with interesting problems and applications. The problem is that about half the class is left without the tools needed to understand the work they are doing or to move on to more advanced material. By the time the kids reach high school, the gap is huge, and while some kids are doing great things, others are just marking time to get a diploma.
I went to private school and did lots of interesting stuff with math in grade school. We are homeschooling our kids, and I make a real effort to go beyond "drill and kill", but all the fun stuff is in addition to, not instead of covering the basics.

Back in the mid-90's I worked at a craft store. Applicants had to take a one-page arithmetic test that consisted largely of problems like "clothespins are 5 for $1, how much do 60 clothespins cost?" The vast majority of our workers were older women. Most of our younger applicants couldn't pass the test, including two memorable high school students who were enrolled in a class called "calculus" who couldn't pass it despite cheating off each other. And that doesn't include the number who didn't even bother applying once they found out there was a math test involved.

Monkeys can be trained to punch buttons on a graphing calculator, especially if you call it "calculus" and tell them it will prepare them for college. I can't begin to number the remedial algebra students I've taught and failed who had taken high school "calculus" and "trigonometry".

So SangerM, your daughter's "math" class may include stuff you've never learned before, but that just means that she's not even learning the basic stuff you learned. Instead she's being trained to be a calculator monkey. Trust me, I've seen her type in my college classes. They end up in my office not understanding how to deal with rational expressions because they've never done fractions without a calculator. They either learn some real math real quick, or they flunk out of college. Because in the REAL real world, we have to do arithmetic on the fly.

I took my kids out of school because they weren't teaching them enough math. True, all our kids won't be engineers. But if we don't at least attempt to teach them math like they're going to be engineers, we cut them off from the possibility altogether.

Hi!

Terrifically funny post! However I do think AW1 Tim and Sanger have hit on one of the issues. Calculators are introduced very early today which results in two things

1. The younger kids don't learn their math facts (thus the problems with making change)
2. The older kids are doing more advanced math sooner. However I still wonder if they are just hitting the function key on the calculator or are they really learning the math?

Now I sent my kids to an elementary charter school where the math facts were drilled into them. Unfortunately the school's scores on the state required end of grade test weren't great for younger kids because that test doesn't test math facts but tests the kids ability to use a calculator. Arggh!

Now my kids go to a different charter middle school and many of their classmates came from our local public school system. The teachers greatest complaint -- most kids don't know their math facts!

But also to add a little balance to the funny post -- here is a problem from my 6th graders math homework last night (paraphrased as I'm doing this from memory):

Tom bought 45 pencils which was as many as he could buy with the $20. he had. How much change did he get back?

And I'll almost guarantee you that a question like this shows up on his math test too.

Public schools is fo po fokes like me. If'n you's can rilly giv yo kids a ril edumcash'n, you's gots to do it.

Public schools is fo po fokes like me. If'n you's can rilly giv yo kids a ril edumcash'n, you's gots to do it.

Three kids in college, all did very well in high school (honors and AP courses) and are doing well in college, too. Their math classes are much more advanced (as some commenters have noted), and that is great. And the best use of their time is not spending hours and hours memorizing multiplication tables like we did; that would limit the time spent on more advanced topics. However, the pendulum has swung too far the other direction. There should be more time spent on basic arithmetic, because that will be a huge time saver and money saver in their day-to-day lives.

I had exactly that experience in a Kentucky Fried Chicken last fall. There was no manager to help out and the kid was so confused, I left with about a dollar less than I should have gotten. The alternative was to hold up the line while I tried to explain. I tried for a minute and gave up.

I went to the hardware store to purchase three or four small items. At the checkout, the clerk miscalculated the sum, shorting herself. I warned her about it, so she recalculated, getting a second wrong answer. I warned her again, so she tried a third time, getting a third wrong charge. I couldn't wait any longer, so I just accepted the third wrong charge. This was all despite the fact that she had a calculator available. Oh well.

Not everyone teaches just the touchy feely stuff. I teach science in a public high school. We do math and lots of it. Volumes, density, wavelengths, Flux, Energy, size distance ratios, graphing, analysis, etc.

I had a young man tell me today that he didn't think he really needed to know how to solve a simple algebraic formula as he was going into the Air Force and therefore didn't need to do the math. Hmmmm..... I think there is a sergeant waiting for him out there somewhere.

By the way, take a minute to think about the type of student that may be working that counter job at McDonald's. They may not necessarily be the best student. The really good students often find better jobs; jobs that are higher paying and more closely related to their interests. In addition the brighter and more motivated workers often find themselves promoted to positions other than the counter.

"Kevin R.C. 'Hognose' O'Brien

And just think CW4, who will be designing those fun collections of parts moving in formation?

The same people doing it now -- H1Bs from Asia. Hired at 50¢ on the dollar. Or Asian immigrants -- the bulk of the people sticking it out in engineering schools today. "

Ahem. I'm sitting here at my desk in Lockheed building 158, and there's not an H1B in sight, and few enough Asian faces for that matter. Don't assume that the Computer Science courses are indicative of the general population of engineers.

I got a super discount at a taco bell once because the kids couldn't figure out the change and ended up giving me back way more than they should have. I decided to keep the cash. Food was bad , service was terrible and yet I came away feeling good about the whole thing.

I used to teach all that stuff in my 9th grade classes, but don't any more. Why?

It's not on the test.

And too many of them can't do it anyway, for the exact reasons discussed here: they do not learn the basics in elementary school and cannot solve problems.

It's gonna suck when they're adults.

It's odd that the experience you're claiming to have recently was posted by another blogger almost two years ago. The two stories are almost identical. Care to explain?

I'm guessing you finally got your flux capacitor working and went back and posted that comment in '06. If that's the case, I'll give you a good price for your "Mr. Fusion."

Grandaddy - I'll answer for Bill... it was a joke. Bill likes to personalize jokes, like any good stand-up comedian does in his act.

And everything goes 'round and 'round and 'round on the Internet.

And if there is an implication of plagiarism of *that* particular blogger... he doesn't even show up as the first entry in this Google search of the joke's text. The Virginia Department of Education does...

And a lot of people resonated to it when they found it this time, for the first time or no, because there is a perceived kernel of truth in it.

Which, of course, is the essence of a good joke.

I feel a sudden hunger. I have to listen to Frank Zappa's 'Flakes.'

Has anyone noticed the difference between arithmetic and mathematics? Physics envy has fooled us into teaching math in place of philosophy as the highest mental exercise. The ass-hat who sold the restauranteur his automatic change-calculating inventory-verifying invoice generator (replacing the register), convinced him that he'd no longer have to pay the long dollar to get employees who had change-making skills. His programmer was highly math-enabled.

Pre-columbian art appreciation is now taught on a calculus model. You end up with very pretty graphs (with the area under them in color!), and counter clerks who are told they don't have to make change. We have a shortage of arithmetic, but a psychotic abundance of "math."

I don't mind it being in Spanish if that means it actually returns to teaching MATH.

The 1950s version is Spanish is still preferable to the 1990s liberal [elided] version.

Um, GK, here at Argghhh! we frown on language like that, however honestly felt, and otherwise valid the point. Which is why I edited the comment.

We're odd that way, 'round here.

It doesn't add to the discussion, it usually deflects it to something less useful.

When schools teach the basics, all the kids get the foundation to build on. When the basics, like multiplication tables, are glossed over or pushed aside to make time for more "interesting and challenging" work, a lot of kids get left behind.[snip] By the time the kids reach high school, the gap is huge, and while some kids are doing great things, others are just marking time to get a diploma.

I think this about says it. One issue with teaching advanced anything is whether everyone really can meet those guideleins. On the other hand, people need more math and science. The fastest growing job category IS technology and that requires some skill sets that have been highly specialized

In fact, someone mentioned the HB1 visas for this country. You know that the highest number of HB1s are given to techie foreigners?

John & Bill, I wasn't suggesting plagiarism -- just pointing out the lack of a link. And I tried to keep it lighthearted.

Well, like I provided with the Google search... which link of hundreds should I choose?

Your point would be taken, if Bill had taken it from Polipundit.

But I suspect Bill's had that in his kitbag for some time now!

I went to the hardware store to purchase three or four small items. At the checkout, the clerk miscalculated the sum, shorting herself. I warned her about it, so she recalculated, getting a second wrong answer. I warned her again, so she tried a third time, getting a third wrong charge. I couldn't wait any longer, so I just accepted the third wrong charge. This was all despite the fact that she had a calculator available. Oh well.

Have you considered the possibility that you miscalculated?

CharterMom @9:32am,

I do not understand what is wrong with the problem you wrote "Tom bought 45 pencils which was as many as he could buy with the $20. he had. How much change did he get back? "

It seems like a practical problem that requires a touch of Algebra to solve.

Two dimes.

It is a funny Joke, but I went to a non magnet Public High School in the south in the early eighties and a large percentage of the students there took calculus. So I don’t want to hear about how much better older folk’s math knowledge and education was unless they were calculating the volumes of solids of revolution. I will listen to complaints about my English education, Tess of the D’Urbervilles and My Antonia, what a waste of time.

It's a nice story but if you check Snopes, it's also an old, old one. Bad form, donovan.

Here's a new, true story that makes the same point.

I was helping my grandson in 1st grade with his arithmetic homework. They were learning addition and substraction THIS way:

Take the numbers 2, 6, and 8

Put them in their proper slots:

__ + __ = __

__ - __ = __
or
__ + __ = __

This is not a joke, it's from a good elementary school in suburban Houston, Texas.

Fortunately, I taught my kids real arithmetic, and will do the same for their kids. It gives them such an advantage over their peers that one admitted to feeling a little guilty about the 'unfairness' of him knowing how to get the right answer, or recognize the wrong answer, so much more quickly than anybody around him. But he quickly figured out that he had nothing to be ashamed of, and has become quite adept at exploiting the situation in everything from poker to life insurance to splitting tabs at parties. That's the ultimate in justice -- the innumerate PAY for their ignorance. The downside is, they blame George Bush.

Jim O
world's tallest retired rocket scientist

I remember seeing an "educator" talking about how computers will do all the hard stuff so the students' little minds can soar -- no mastery of arithmetic required.

My first thought was: How will they recognize the correct answer? Because the computer told them so? Or because they understand it to be the correct answer?

GIGO.

At first I thought the top photo was a target getting hit by a bullet photographed by a very fast camera. Then I noticed the light reflecting off of the ground below, which gave me a better scale.

I'd say it's a nuclear explosion shot by a very fast camera. Maybe a UV or IR photo, cuz that thing looks really freaky.

The second one is evidently WW2 German. That looks like some sort of towing connector at the top-left, with what appears to be electrical connection wires right below. Narrow tracks, and doesn't look like a full-sized AFV, so I'll guess it's a ammo trailer for a self-propelled gun.

Probably way off-base for the second one, though. :)

I am not getting caught up in this nonsense. You are not going to drive me crazy all weekend.

Top photo is by Harold Edgerton. More here:

http://www.nevadasurveyor.com/atomicbomb/

Bottom photo is the original TOW or Tank On a Wire guided missile system.

The Germans called that a "Goliath" Tracked Mine. I think it carried around 200 lbs of high explosives, was guided by wire from a joystick control box. It was mostly used by their combat engineers or "Pioniere" auf Deutsch. Good concept, but they weren't very effective.

#2 isn't a Goliath....It's a Minenräumpanzer III - mine clearing/mine destroyer tank, a prototype based on the Panzer III chassis.

"I am not getting caught up in this nonsense. You are not going to drive me crazy all weekend."

Too late.

I believe that was one of the "Snapper" shots done in May and June of 1952. From the nuclearweaponarchive.org web site:

"Cause of the surface mottling. At this point in the explosion, a true hydrodynamic shock front has just formed. Prior to this moment the growth of the fireball was due to radiative transport, i.e. thermal x-rays outran the expanding bomb debris. Now however the fireball expansion is caused by the shock front driven by hydrodynamic pressure (as in a conventional explosion, only far more intense). The glowing surface of the fireball is due to shock compression heating of the air. This means that the fireball is now growing far more slowly than before. The bomb (and shot cab) vapors were initially accelerated to very high velocities (several tens of kilometers/sec) and clumps of this material are now splashing against the back of the shock front in an irregular pattern (due to initial variations in mass distribution around the bomb core), creating the curious mottled appearance."

'such as inability to forget prior candidate performance'
Aye, there's the rub...
But thanks for the laff, BCR!

What will they think of next; with all these great advances in technology. Thanks BCR.

Though I have a concern: If after taking Gravitras, I experience a 4-hour long event of full resplendency, would that be considered Primarism? I would hate to take Gravitras and experience this embarassing side efect.

I'm just worried about the after-affects. Could I live with myself afterwards?? Or do I get hooked on Gravitra as a way of fending off a bad case of the Willy's after I accidently vote for Billary??

Late-onset? Pffvbbffth! I've been this way my whole life, and actually voted for Ron Paul the last time he ran!

That said, looks like I'll have to hold nose, grit teeth, and vote for the Naval Angriator. Definitely.

Oh, and I would never buy underwear from K-Mart. Jockey Classic, size 30, for the last 40 years.

What is this "Game" of which you are speaking, Chief? Is it the one during the watching of which, (according to Ms. Dworkin and her ilk) the men beat the hell out of the wimminz, and the normally weird people like me can enjoy mostly empty roads, free from the usual a-holes, said a-holes being at home, staring at TV sets depicting stupid ball games, with their mouths hanging open.

Hmm, having no emotional investment in this, maybe I could be a cold-blooded dispassionate bettor on the outcome!

It's late to start learning, though, I'd prolly bet like a sucker, and it ain't legal where I live, anyway.

Owhell.

P.s. I've written about this before, but I'll say it again:

I remember reading the Tom Clancy novel, "The Sum of All Fears", I think it was, in which the Super Bowl got nuked. I thought, eww, what about the poor bandsmen?

I think that there are no bandsmen at the Stupor Bowel these days, so, uh, I don't think I'll complete my exposition here but y'all can catch my drift, and so froth, and forth.

In general, all of the places which the Feds define as prime terrist targets, such as feetball stadia, shopping malls, New York City, Miami, Boston, Atlanta, New Jersey, Chicago, large public gatherings of any type, etc. etc., are places which require considerable effort of will on my part, if not coercion by other people, for me to visit them.

Wow,
I'm almost 66 years of age and this is a really old joke. Started, I believe, during some 50's World Series game.
Those were the years, only off-field booze, sex and bribery, none of the on-field steroids,amphetimines,cocaine and off field rape, dog torture,and, corrupting endorsements of today's worthless pro/collegiant "sports".
mike

Sport is cool if that's all it is, just fun. American football at its best is both very cerebral and very physical.

That's why so many guys get a charge out of playing it. Sadly, it seems to have gotten all warped and distorted, lately, into something like the chariot-racing factions in the last days of Byzantium.

I believe both Jerry Pournelle and David Drake wrote stories which recycled a justifiable massacre done in Constantinople, against sports fans in a sports stadium.

I woke up after sleeping about 3 hours and read your joke. I like it, but of course, I have a sick sense of humor. I've got an old oak tree in my front yard, that's over 300 years old, it's diameter is 4 feet at 4 feet off the ground. At the base of the canopy, the width is about 135 feet, all solid. Now when you come to some of YOUR Politicians, we can take that old oak and use it to clean their teeth the long way. One problem, they would never feel it. SIR, it was a great story. It even brought some laughter to a GRUMPY old vet.

Have a great day,
Grumpy

Just be careful of that first statement/request. LOL

Whew --- "huge CORK!!!!" My glasses are failing me. ML

BUWAHAHAHAHAH....
I don't remember this one, Bill. Are you sure it's recycled?

*sigh*

That is awful :)

That is awful

Awful *what*, pray tell?

Humorous? Insensitive? Whaaaat?

BillT,

"That is awful."

Question, wouldn't that depend upon your position?

Grumpy

Grumpy -- Answer, my position varies in direct proportion to the accuracy of the incoming fire.

And the caliber.

Note that Cassie used her 9mm smiley-con and omitted the flounce, so it wasn't *serious* incoming.

Chief, that is Divinely funny, as I think that the Deity has a very low and nasty sense of humor, similar to yours and mine. I try not to piss Him off enough that I get to be the main victim in one of His practical jokes.

BillT and Cassie,

Do me one favor, keep your sense of humor, it is the best thing in the world for me. Not all of the time, but when it strikes, let it fly. It is the best medication in the world for me. The big thing is I don't need to get some [REDACTED] doctor's permission or perscription to take it. The neat thing is my doctors agree.

Enjoy the Super Bowl and your weekend,
Grumpy

In Phoenix, instead of an umbrella for rain, you have to carry a pot holder to open your door.

Instead of running your car for 15 minutes with the heater on to warm it up, you have to run it for 15 minutes with the A/C running just so you can sit int he seat, touch the belt buckle or steering wheel.

and, don't touch the windows or lean against the car because you can get 2nd degree burns. (personal experience)

sheesh.
I am totally Mid-West....

Or you can live in Southeast Alaska where:
1. Summer high temperatures above about 70 degrees absolutely require A/C.
2. Eleven straight days of half to an inch of rain daily is just eleven days.
3. You measure distances by ferry hours or Alaska Air mileage plans.
4. You don't mind sharing the streets of your small town (pop. 14,000) with 870,000 visitors off of cruise ships.
5. You can live in a real community,with real people, with all the problems, and still feel good about it.

The heading for Phoenix can also be used for Las Vegas. The description of California is sadly largely true. California also has earthquakes but at lest we do not have tornadoes

Y'all is never singular.

Then there is the weather shifts.
70 degrees one day, then a blizzard, then back to 70s.
I celebrated a white christmas in Denver while on leave after my first deployment. My leave started 15 May, yet I had 72 degrees for my birthday on the 21st...

(25 Dec was on Gonzo Station, so I postponed it.)

In the neck of the woods my Arkansas relatives live in, Grim, "y'all" is multi-purpose, singular and plural, and "all y'all" is only plural.

Where I grew up in Texas, y'all is always plural, never singular. "All y'all" is bad grammar...

Well, John, that's because, despite being populated with rednecks, Arkansas is not deep-south. :-)

Heck, West Tennessee doesn't count in my book. When you order Tea and they don't just assume you mean Sweet Tea, you can no longer claim that you are a part of the South.

Now that was funny y'all. I've lived north-central, midwest, south, Florida, Texas, CA, and I was raised in Philly and on the Jersey Coast. There is just so much truth there that its amazing...

But I would like to point out to Idon Wannano that to me, everywhere below Wilmington, DE is the South, and the 'deep' south is everything in a box roughly cornered by Kansas City, Beaumont, Jacksonville, and Alexandria. Everything left of Kansas City and North of D/FW is "The Blank Spot States" until one gets to "Out West," which starts at New Mexico and Ends at the CA Border (all of it). And of course, I live in what I consider the Texico Plains (San Antonio)....

P.S. One could also live on Oahu (done that, hated it),where your county is all the land there is and where if you drive more than 20 miles in a straight line, you need scuba gear (but they have THREE interstate highways and a loop!!); where directionsare often given in terms of wind-direction; where flowered shirts, shorts, and the good flip-flops are semi-formal wear; where everyone is a brudda, even us haolis; where everything is imported, but there are NO snakes, just mongooses (it's an odd story); and where people eat this stuff called poi that makes first grade craft paste seem downright tasty by comparison.

:-)

As soon as Obama also gets the coveted "Jimmah" Carter endorsement, we'll know just HOW dangerous he'd be as POTUS.

FatBoy doesn't know what end is up, never did and he is incapable of disappointing me any further.

However, Caroline is a different story. How can she be so impressed by an empty suit? To my knowledge she has never come out and endorsed a presidential candidate...........why now? How can she be fooled by Obama's smoke and mirrors? Her father was a man of substance. Agree with him, disagree with him, at least he had a record to stand on. JFK was a leader of men. Obama is like a mirage.

Yellow flag, Rulez Violation, 5 yards, repeat the down.

That would be "Senator Fatboy" if you please, Princess Crabby.

That would be "Senator Fatboy" if you please, Princess Crabby.
HeeHee!

*Princess Crabby runs up to the Armorer and bumps his chest with her(fill in significant # & letter) as she vehemently disagrees with the call.*

Oh, pahd'n me! Senitah FatBoy! Senitah Splash! Senitah Obama/Osama! Senitah Chivas! Senitah Why-Are-You-Still-Alive-When-Jack-and-Bobby-Are-Dead-Damnit! Senitah Waitress-Sandwich-With-Chris-Dodd! Senitah Brasserie! Senitah Out-Drinking-With-My-Son-And-Nephew-until-I-Walk-Around-With-No-Pants!

Is that bettah? More deferential?

No one likes the Ref... we do try to respect the office, even if we have real trouble respecting the office-holder...

'Sides, that was a pretty funny response, Princess.

" ... Senitah Waitress-Sandwich-With-Chris-Dodd! ... "

This image killed my morning appetite. LOL

OK, I'll admit I laughed out loud when I read what you wrote and I read it to my son who was sitting behind me.

I'll play nice here and say "Senator"........of course I won't at my place.

Frank - Sorry about your appetite...at least I didn't link to the pic of the esteemed senior Senator from Massachusetts in his bathing suit....ewwww!

Great minds think alike--Chris Muir and my wife are on the same wavelength this morning...double heh.

Maggie, "Ewww!" is right. Just thank God it wasn't a Speedo. LOL

Hey, some of us college kids come here for the comedy and commentary as well!

But we like the gun pr0n here in the engineering department, oh yes we do.

yeah, besides, I don't think a gun blog has done its job unless someone runs screaming from it once day, "Gun Nut!!!!!" as well as at least once a week check up by the ATFE, FBI or some other organization responding to a complaint about possible militia, separatists, etc

And I get plenty of help from the rest of the crew around here. LOL

Interesting that you post that photo.

It's been photoshopped you know.

The real deal states "Iraqi Photos"... Thats what happens when improperly led SPC's and junior SGTs get their hands on a Sharpie marker.

I bet Petraus would not be amused.

Regards.

Dakota
The photo was taken some time before the General took over his current duties.

And some of us remember when it made its first trip down the intertubes.

Cheers

And, in fact, I'm the one who photoshopped that version of it. And deliberately so that it was detectable - both to make it a touch more PC, in that it was referring to a legitimate target, and as an example of Info-Ops.

It was further useful in the discussion of Palestianian Fauxtography.

More recently, it's been useful in a discussion of gallows humor - where a reader was just terribly offended by this sort of humor on the part of the soldiery, where I then suggested if they were going to hate soldiers for dark humor like this - they better hate the police, ambulance crews, and firefighters - all of whom have their own, just as dark in form and target, versions of gallows humor. I will correct the record and add emergency room personnel, too.

One way you deal with facing human foible and it's aftermath is too make mock of it, as a way of coping. It's everyone in the group's responsibility to keep an eye on everyone else to make sure that it's a coping mechanism, and the people involved aren't shifting to more dangerous levels of stress.

And yes, to keep things like this from being quite so obvious. And to make sure people understand why making it too obvious can, and usually is, detrimental in a larger context.

Thanks for setting up my point!

John,
You are correct in the "Dark humor" department. I have the honor of being a former EMT, Firefighter, police assistant (I play bad guy aggressor in tac squad practice drills, IT IS FUN), and proud veteran of the small group called the 82nd Airborne Division. AIRBORNE, ALL THE WAY! I also am a Top Team graduate of the old sniper school at Fort Bragg, NC. Humor is a psychological tool that keeps depression and mental illness at bay.
With all that experience behind me, I'm currently a RN charge nurse in an emergency room. Go figure...?
God bless you John, and I'll raise a beer to you tonight. Check six, and I've got your back.

Alan D. Briley, RN

*groan*

Happy travels!

*groan*

I keep telling you and *telling* you -- you can't match Maggie Cosmo for Cosmo and expect your brain to function in less than 48 hours...

Bill, are you getting properly paid for this?

Who needs Cosmos with jokes like that hanging around? :P

BWA-HA-HA-Ha-ha-h... hey! Waidaminnit!

Do you know the way to San Jose?

pls note for the record that it is John who assumes that it is HE who is the purported "lost Major", and not myself...

(probably a valid assumption)

Dang it.
I'd love to get down there, but I can't.
DANG IT>>>>>>>>

Do you know the way to San Jose?

Oh, okay. I will not snark Kat.

"Has anyone seen the Colonel?"

Cheers

*groan*

Happy travels!

*groan*

I keep telling you and *telling* you -- you can't match Maggie Cosmo for Cosmo and expect your brain to function in less than 48 hours...

Bill, are you getting properly paid for this?

Who needs Cosmos with jokes like that hanging around? :P

BWA-HA-HA-Ha-ha-h... hey! Waidaminnit!

Do you know the way to San Jose?

pls note for the record that it is John who assumes that it is HE who is the purported "lost Major", and not myself...

(probably a valid assumption)

Dang it.
I'd love to get down there, but I can't.
DANG IT>>>>>>>>

Do you know the way to San Jose?

Oh, okay. I will not snark Kat.

"Has anyone seen the Colonel?"

Cheers

I'd guess the picture isn't even of a military dog going through training activities (as implied), as there seems to be no collar/harness on him.

I have no definite knowledge either way, so all of what follows is mild-to-moderately informed speculation. However...

My immediate reaction is that the dog doesn't look like either a Boxer or a Bullmastiff, so the crossbreed claim is dubious. It's true that hybrids don't always look like a puzzle assembled from pieces of the parents, but still, you can usually look at a dog and tell its general breeding background by its appearance. For example, you don't normally get a heavy-bodied dog by crossing a borzoi with a whippet. Boxer and Bullmastiff are both mastiff-type dogs. This dog doesn't look to me like a cross between two mastiff types.

Second reaction is that AIUI, military K9s are typically trained using schutzhund methods. They won't take food from anyone but their handler. They are always under the handler's control and will not charge anybody except on the handler's orders. They are not trained to kill; at most they're trained to "attack and hold" by a grip on a nonlethal place such as a forearm or a leg.

Other things I noticed:

* Most US military dogs are purebred German Shepherds, Belgian Malinois, or similar breeds. They don't typically use mastiffs, nor crossbreeds. Other breeds might be used for drug or explosives detection, especially bird-dogs and scenthounds with their excellent noses, but for patrol dogs they tend to stick to the shepherd-type.

* The "sign language" sounds bogus. Dogs are smart but not that smart, and mastiffs aren't generally among the smartest of dogs. How do you signal "go away but come back and find me later"?

* Web searches for "dog medal Iraq" and similar terms found nothing except a story of a Springer Spaniel, a British army dog, that found a big weapons cache. If this story were true, I can't believe it wouldn't have gotten reported somewhere.

So my inclination is to agree with you, Armorer. It's a Net-legend in the making.

Hmmm... I believe the military has guidelines mandating the breeds acceptable as K9s, and that ain't it! Second the BS flag...

Gee so much for a good story. Does truth always have to be considered since in actuality we may not really know much truth since history is written by the victors. For example: Was Hannibal a great general or did Rome, a great nation or soon to be in their minds, need a great enemy?

OOPs don't parse the above.

Having handled and personally owned them before I'd say Brutus is a Belgian Mal. His ears are laid back as he's running, which is common with them. Not sure what that is above/behind his head... some sort of collar rig maybe, but I'm not going to speculate.

Other than that it's a great picture of a Mal on the run.

V5

McChord (Granted it shares land with Ft. Lewis I believe) is an Air Force base--and I know with a certainty (I oversaw the K9 handlers and the kennels at the busiest and 2nd largest kennel in Air Mobility Command--the same command that McChord belongs to)that the AF uses German Shepherds and Belgian Malinois ONLY. No mixed breeds. No mastifs. They're always wearing their choke collars because sometimes the handler needs something to pull them back with after they're in attack mode.

The handlers DO use hand/arm signals to communicate, but I've never heard of the command of go away and come back and rip the throat out of these bad guys. Too Lassie for me. The dogs can, however, act semi-independently as an overwatch while the handler is searching a perp. The dog will attack without specific commands if the perp makes sudden moves to flee or attacks the handler.

The dogs are highly trained to not take food from non-handlers; they don't get milkbones for treats. They're on a strict diet and their rewards are usually the opportunity to play with their kong toys. It's a beautiful and pure thing to see a dog so utterly happy just to get to chomp on some hardened rubber and hear "GOOD BOY/GIRL!!!" Once the dog is comfortable around other troops and if the handler allows it, they'll sometimes get snacks (i.e. tiny pieces of meat from a sandwich, pepperoni, turkey at thanksgiving, etc.) with the caveat that if the kennel master NCO never finds out. They'll still wait until given permission from their handlers to eat it even if it's laying in front of them though.

I'm not sure about the medals--certainly not the MOH. I know that with our puppies, they did have badges (engraved with their Military Working Dog number) and I think that they were authorized to wear campaign ribbons/medals on the badge holder although that may have been just an informal thing the handlers did.

As for the MOH--it took what, 3 years to get LT. Mike Murphy to be awarded the medal and he was in SOCOM. Now add to it that the dog in question is allegedly attached to McChord--Air Force Air Mobility Command and when deployed assigned to CENTAF. I have humans under my command that are waiting 9mos+ to get lesser medals for duties performed in direct combat. I can't imagine a DOG getting a medal first of all, and never mind the MOH which requires interviews of multiple confirming witnesses and congressional approval.

Color this myth BUSTED.

OK, so the myth is busted but this is one of those that you almost WANT to be true. Of course I think that's how a lot of things get to be urban legends.

BTW I told a friend who used to be in the Navy the joke about the Marine officers talking about how much of sex is pleasure and how much work and I almost had to give him the Heimlich. He was eating a cinnamon roll and drinking coffee and I didn't know if he was going to choke to death or drown first.

John, please contact me ASAP about this very false story. I am the web systems administrator for a police K-9 association and was the one who originally posted that picture on one of our web sites. The intellectual property rights to that photo do not belong to us but we were given permission to use it on our web sites as needed. We do not have the authority to grant someone else permission to use it and the photo is being used(circulated) without the permission of the news organization who does. Yes, this means you also do not have permission to post it here on your blog. Sorry, I'm not trying to bust your chops, only kill this false story that is circulating around and stop the unauthorized use of the photo. I do appreciate your intent of debunking the fabricated story circulating around with it.

For those of you who guessed the dog is a Belgian Malinois, you are 100% correct and I might add, he weighs less than 100 pounds. His name is 'Spike', not Brutus. He is not a military working dog. He is a retired Police K-9 who never served with any of the military working dog units in Iraq and he certainly was never awarded a K-9 Congressional Medal of Honor, as no such award exists and even if one did it would never be awarded to a police service dog who was never in country and participated in a military action.

If any of you have knowledge of the perp who concocted this very false story, please let John know so he can forward the information to me. Our Police K-9 association, dogs included, would like to have a few words with them.

Thanks!
Tim

Thanks for staying on top of this, Tim. Can't say that I know anything about the story or the picture, so I can't help you there. Re. intellectual property- considering the problems Mike Yon has gone through with his pictures, you won't find a milblogger out there who has a problem removing copyrighted photos.

Tim,

Is there anyway John could legally allow that picture to remain up?

That is a magnificent Dog having fun.

Whether he is a Mil Dog or a Cop K-9 he should be celebrated.

Damn all you wish the jerks who started this but, let us see that Dog in his joy.

AFSister, Thanks. No problem at all with this blog or John, who has been most gracious and helpful. As a veteran myself and the father of a current active duty soldier, I never had any doubt that I would be treated any other way.

Old Dog, I wish I had the authority to allow the photo to stay up, but unfortunately I do not. I am suppose to be the watchkeeper of something that was given to us to use in good faith and I feel horrible that someone got a hold of that photo to use for something dishonorable and while on my watch.

I promise I'll be back soon but in a new thread to fulfill your request with a link to protected photos that can't be copied. For now, it's better to let sleeping dogs lie, especially for the handlers at McChord, who are probably going to be getting a lot of inquires about that story if they aren't already.

Until next time, take care and Be Safe!

Tim

Hm, wasn't there something similiar in WW2 ?

A dog did something extraordinary and was applied for a medal, not MOH but just below that, andthen a general threw a fit ?

Victoria Cross for Animals

Cheers

*LMAO*

I love it!!

My response would have been "This your wife we're talking about sir?"

Can't think why I never got promoted.

Hahahhaaha....wow, that was funny, but I admit I thought the punch line would be something closer to Murray's remark. LOL

Nice one. A logically convincing reply by PFC.

"From the mouths of babes..."

And then there was Lance Corporal Henderson, hauled in before the Company Commander for being a whole six hours late from a 96 hour liberty.
When asked for an explanation (with Office Hours in the offering, the young Marine began:

"Well sir, I was at the library, and I met this nice lady who wanted to know about some of the things Marines do. I started explaining to her about the Marine Corps. She was really interested, sir. She asked if she could buy me lunch. I said 'Okay.' Turns out she wanted to take me home and feed me. She wasn't coming on to me or anything, sir, she just wanted to continue to conversation. We went to her place, a big old mansion, and she fed me lunch. I noticed that there were a lot of stuffed animal heads on the wall, and she said that her husband was a big game hunter and one hell of a gun collection (Ed note: No, John, this missive happened long before I knew you). Turns out she was an artist, and she asked if I would pose for her so that she could sketch me. I stripped down to my PT shorts, and she started sketching.
"Suddenly, sir, her husband pulls into the driveway. She kinda freaks out, and tells me that her husband is the jealous kind, and might shoot me on the spot, me being almost naked and all... I grabbed my clothes and she stuffed me into a closet. This was on Friday afternoon, sir, and that feller must have had trouble sleeping, 'cause he didn't stop moving through the house until just a few hours ago, and I was able to get out of there."
The Captain mulled the Marine's story over, "So you spent your entire 96 stuffed into a closet?"
"Yes sir."
The Captain nodded, "Well, Marine, I think you've suffered enough. We'll let this one slide, but I'll nail your hide to the door if you ever miss formation again. You're dismissed."
"Aye aye sir." The Marine answered, doing an About Face.
"Henderson." the Captain said, as the Marine prepared to leave the office.
"Sir?"
The Captain gave him knowing look, "That's a good story, but next time leave out the bit about the library; you don't even know how to read!"

Wherever the Bore-Bot is, I'm sure he's blaming "BUSH!" and the petro-loving, Gaia-hating, war-mongering neo-con Repuglikkkans for the freezing weather.

I know I am. Blaming everyone. Rats.

To be fair, using a relatively small sample size of cold days is no more scientific proof against global warming than saying because its 110 in August is a good argument for global warming.

IT.WAS.A.JOKE.

Here's yer sign.

DUUUDE! Sixty-two degrees INSIDE your house? If I swing thru there in MAR, remind me to bring three sweaters that I can wear all at once.

Hey, we're cheep.

I see the four rides; but where are their horsemen? Guess that the Apocalypses has been postponed due to cold weather.

I'm waiting for the Danes to start farming in Greenland again. That'll be the catalyst for the next Ice Age -- which, geologically speaking, is due any day now.

Chief, I've read they're growing barley there already, for the first time in a thousand and more years.

Funny thing, what with the Sunspot cycle, this little warming thing may only last a little while before it gets really cold again.

We humans, with all of our mighty clever works, really are as worms against the cosmic forces.

Umm, that was wrong; I shoulda wrote "for the first time in nearly a thousand years."

Hey! Don't try to make me sound cheap.....I tipped way more than dimes. By the time I left Dubai, between the fact that I would TALK to the service industry people (all non-Dubai) and tip meant that every employee of that hotel snapped to attention when I passed.

I tipped well and I said "Hello". Most of the natives treated them like they were invisible and the German and French tourists yelled and demanded and I never saw one tip.

/end rant

Sigh - A nickle isn't worth a dime anymore.

But Dancing does.

5 boxtops, 4 bottle caps, 3 wrappers, 2 washers, and that dime will get you a membership as a Junior Birdman.

Hee! "I speak German like an Italian soccer coach!"

"Would you like to come up to my place bouncy-bouncy?"

"I speak German like an Italian soccer coach!"

Geez, with all the time you spent there, I figgered you'd have a better command of the lingo. Got the Norwegian translated yet?

Heh. Waiting for Boq to chime in...

...mosh sherveza, por (hic) fay-ver!

Nearest I can figure with the Norwegian is, "I speak Norwegian like a French angel." Hunh?

"I speak Spanish like a drunk Gringo."

"I speak French like a Spanish cow."

Here's my guess for the Italian: "I speak Italian like a waiter in a Chinese restaurant."

And then there's, "I speak Russian like a ______ homosexual."

Heh. The only language on the list that I claim any fluency in is Spanish. But, interesting how much language one picks up from singing...

That Norwegian one is bugging me... "English Frenchman??"

I speak italian with a camera in a chinese restaurant.

I speak spanish with a boring gringo accent-o.

snerk

gack. My google-fu is weak this morning. I once came across a collection of strange phrases found in actual tourist guide books. Things like "Please accept my expensive camera as a gift" and "It is not necessary to shoot me". This comes close, though.

"I speak Dutch like a Frenchman speaks English?"

Everybody's been mistookin' the Dutch for the Norgish (John got the Dutch idiom okay, though). Closest I can figure for Jeg forstår dig fuldstændigt is "I string random sounds together" -- 'cuz Jeg snakker ikke Norsk as well as I sprech Fron-say...

I hate those shivin' Norges who won't understand you perfectly.

Sorry to be quick but I have a Lidditenesque situation on my end.

My Glottis Runeth Over

My Glottis Runeth Over

Quick, WK -- the Drool Cup!

JUST SPEAK LOUDLY and S-L-O-W-L-Y
AND THEY WILL UNDERSTAND, RIGHT?

'I speak German like an Italian soccer coach?'
HAHAHAHA.

I speak French like a Spanish cow?'

I speak Russian like a peRv*rt?

Too funny.

For the Norske:

UFFDA!

Var den het? "Uff-da" fur Svenskers es, ja?

I have found that tipping with American money helps people from other countries to understand me completely.

Hey Unkabill! Try this one for your list:

Cinaedulo Commissationenti, Latinum peiorquam Loquis.

Though be careful; it may warrant a shivin' from them Lutheran Norskies.

Darlin, if anyone's glottis is running over.. they don't need a drool cup. They need bigger pants.

I have found that tipping with American money helps people from other countries to understand me completely.
As flashing helps people from *this* country...

They need bigger pants.
It's all that big panting that's making his glottis run over.

I have found that tipping with American money helps people from other countries to understand me completely. As flashing helps people from *this* country...

Flashing - like small arms fire, is more effective at close range.

Come closer, baby. i have some things to tell you and I want to make sure I am clearly understood.

Well, between the H&I and this post, the PG17 at least got to exercise its foreign language and metaphor modules.

Rule 2. Don't bunch up in places where one round from a really large and serious gun could do for all of you.

P.s. Sorry, just *had* to make a Pro-Arty comment. Obviously the only rational way to make war.

I think this is the Wyatt Earp rule

Actually, I always thought Rule #2 is: Ammunition is required... lots and lots of it.

By the way, where can I get that poster?

Timothy, won't do you any good when that one round arrives from over the horizon, and blows you and yer squad to tiny subatomic Irish particles, aka Smithereens. When dying, you won't even have the slight consolation that yer enemies will suffer PTSD from looking upon the splatter they've inflicted upon you, as they will have been, as I mentioned, over the horizon, and only know about the tremendous execution they have done from secondhand reports.

Artillerymen are the cold-blooded badasses. It's inherent in the nature of the weapon.

Umm, I think I implied, and assumed, too, much, in that last comment I wrote! I did not intend any malice against Timothy! If he took offense, I humbly beg his pardon.

The beer was talking. And walking.

JTG
Ha! And again I say: "All Over The Place"!

Cheers

I dunno, John - we keep trying to build the guns (and rockets) into sniper weapons.

Gonna suck if we ever find outselves actually needing a "wall of fire" somewhere.

But of course, we're never going to fight a war like that again.

Bill Lind sez so.

Timothy - give me an email address and I'll send you a larger version of it.

Can I get a large version too? Thanks

[Done]

Hey, Justthisguy, I've known a few cannoncockers and no malice was perceived. Gotta admit that being in the 5" mount (I was a Coastie 68-70) and getting to shoot the sucker was a gas, though operating the Ma Deuce was up and personal, comparatively speaking,and more fun. I like to see what I'm shooting at get hit.

Which reminds me; Rule #3: You MUST have a gun before getting into a gunfight.

John, pixeltcat41144@peoplepc.com And, have you read any of John Ringo's SF or contempfic? In his SF series the arty really gets to it. Not to mention a 16" mobile artillery piece (see the pic in the 4th book) whose exploits are a joy to read.

I've found most fighter pilots pompous, backstabbing, momma's boys with inferiority complexes, as well as being extremely over-rated aeronautically.

BUWAHAHAHAHAHAA...
Of course, I haven't met too many pilots- fighter pilots or not- who weren't somewhat pompous. Got to be in order to take on that job. Kinda like being a cop and not being somewhat of a bully.

Hey! I was a cop, once!

Well, I've known (and still know) a lot of fighter jocks and I must say that most do live down to the aforementioned stereotype. However, when it comes to the troops charged with caring, feeding and arming their high-tech metal steeds, they are usually very generous with their beer, so we learned to ignore the personality flaws...er. quirks.

Hey! I was a cop, once!

And your point is.....???

For what it's worth, my Granddaddy was the Chief of Police in a small town, and 1SG Keith did a stint as a cop too.

I am *not* a bully, and you better not call me one, or I'll... I'll... oh. Never mind.

After reading this thing, I get the impression that the writer mirrors the attitudes and attributes he denigrates.

I'd laugh if it was funny, but this guy just sounds like a buffoon. The LAPES vignette was particularly telling: "We're f**kups and proud of it." Alrighty then.

Come to think of it, this may have been ghost-written by a fighter guy who isn't particularly impressed with Herc drivers. Hmmmm...

Of course, I haven't met too many pilots- fighter pilots or not- who weren't somewhat pompous.

Makes me proud to be an aviator, rather than a mere pilot.

And, no, Sis hasn't met me. Yet...

Snerk! The Instapilot turns it into an Info-Op for fighter pilots!

"Dad, when I grow up, I wanna be a fighter pilot!"

"Make up your mind, son -- you can't do both."

Heh. Even a *rock* will fly if ya can get it going 170 knots...

Hercules gently flies bye.

Cheers

I'm sure that The Armorer is a very sweet, sensitive, and artistic bully.

No, really, there are actually some people who need their asses kicked, just to get their attention. As I've often said, the problem is not police brutality, but police stupidity. That is, I don't want Officer Safety to mistake me for one of those people and draw the taser, when just frowning at me and talking loudly would work just fine.

Oh, that reminds me: In a book about the Hercules I read years ago, there was mention of an aerobatic team of C-130s, called "The Four Horsemen." They did airshows and such. It strikes me that one of those could pull some respectable multiple of g, when empty. I'd love to see film of one of their shows. Like hippopotamus ballet, or something.

I love hippopotamus ballet ...

...and the Herky-birdies look just too-utterly-too in those pink tutus, too...

Dammit Chief, I'm serious! I do damn betcha Herc formation aerobatics would be fun to watch, in both gigglicious and other ways.

I know I couldn't keep a straight face, watching something like that.

(while still appreciating the skill displayed, of course)

Heehee heee hee....
Boy, I got all the pilots in a tizzy.
Thing is, you can't look at being a "somewhat pompous" pilot or "bit of a bully" cop as a bad thing. It seriously does take a bit of attitude to take on either job.

Boy, I got all the pilots in a tizzy.

All *one* of 'em? Dusty was the only pilot who showed, and I'd say he was more snitted than tizzied.

Gotta love ya all.
This was sent to me by my best bud, a retired AA Captain who spent his last decade with them on great "new shit" stuff even tho' had no degrees from anybody. Proving capabilities over-rule formalities.
Said friend is now earning $1,000 a day for flying used planes from one point to another.
We mutually have many buds who have done things from flying Alaskan pipeline missions in the 70's, Alaskan Salmon runs and Electra Cargo flites in 70's Zaire (ever eat monkey knuckles?).
Only one fighter pilot, F-100's in 'Nam, and he became an AA Captain/Chief Pilot.
Cargo rules!

I don't count?

I thought it was a helluva comment.

Sgt. B liked it.

You should be nicer to me.....I almost got arrested last night.

Hehe, things that won't count as a highlight, since The Armorer is asking about such. But it was fun anyway.

If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40.

KtLW doesn't let me go to the hardware store anymore...

My Darling Chief - I love that your dirty little mind is constantly focused on unbuttoning my blouse!

Happy New Year!

Ready? One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve

Q: How do you get a blonde to have an abortion?

A: Tell her the baby's not hers.

Chandeliers! Getcher party chandeliers! With or without restraints, grappling hooks, choklit guns, marshmallow launchers, leather interiors, and patented PurrMode(tm)! Floor-mounted safety chandeliers for the young or timid also available. Order before 11pm Eastern and get a free confetti dispenser!

I've heard of Ocean's Eleven, but Maggie's Twelve?

Okay, what are we knocking off? And who's playing the Ella Fitzgerald?

(Maggie: He ain't the only one... Heard that the Marines are looking to knock the Navy off of that pedestal you've got 'em on...)

Happy New Year Everyone! Now - where's the Conga Line?

Conga conga connnnga!!!!

Gimme a 'rita and one of those chandeliers with patent leather restraints and a marshmallow launcher!

ohhhhh Maggie's already showin' off the Girls. Might have to break mine out too.

*pop* *pop*

ohhhhh that's soooo much better.

*bounce* *bounce* *bounce*
Gotta be careful when I do that- don't need a black eye, you know

[Quietly restocks the Bar]

*strolls nonchalantly over to the mangonel, reaches underneath it to the hidden compartment in the axle, pulls out dusty bottle*

There you are!

*wipes of accumilation of dust, pulls cork, salutes the room*

Cheers to you all!

*drinks and then passes it along*

{takes a swig]

Good vintage! This must be from *before* Ry cleaned his bathtub!

Heya Sgt.B! Don't get too snookered, you have to fire up the 'RitaMatic first. *Then* you can get pie-faced. I has a bukkit with a straw!

Okay, who ordered the LavaLamp Chandelier with the 200 CD library of Bollywood music?

Lavalamp chandelier??? OH no.. is Hillary trying to crash the party?!!??? I thought the Exterior Guard were trained to defend us against the Dark Side!

*takes swig from bottle and passes it to Maggie*

B, darlin'... I'm still waiting for my Raspberry Rita. Bucket sized is fine for me too.

Strictly lime 'ritas for me, thanks.

By the bukkit is fine, though.

Who brought the EGG SALAD????

*takes sip of razz rita and goes back to swinging*

Not me (sticks in a finger). Hmmmm. Not bad.

I brought brats and cherry pie.

And some chips and salsa.

Lessee where they run that to...

You brought brats??? Where is he? Where's Ry? I haven't seen him in a long time...

Heh. We're pretty lonely here, ain't we?

I think Ry and JTG scurried down to where Ry keeps the stale chee-tos.

Yep. I'm hearing crickets, and not the female kind that cooks for us.
*sigh*

*clinks 'rita glass with John*

I'm not anywhere near Cricket-level but I can do chocolate souffle's ... anybody want one?

Ooo! Ooo! Me! Me! Pick me!

I'll put it with my cherry pie!

[Engaging Souffle Gun. Please Stand Clear]
*poooof* (n.b. this is the good kind of poof NTTAWWT)
*pooooof*

Souffle's will land in the clearly marked landing zone. Please nom souffle and clear area for the next Denizen(ne). Standing in the center with your mouth open is NOT ALLOWED, this means you NEFFI! Seconds, thirds, etc. are perfectly all right and this is a *negative* calorie recipie. Happy New Year from BCR Labs!
*pooooof*
*poooooof*

Mrphlegargle!

Oh. Shoulda read the directions... [red face]

How do you "nom" a souffle?? Pretend you're pudding instead?

Mrphlegargle!

Oh. Shoulda read the directions... [red face]

WEEEE! John got caught by the echooo echoooo echooo

Argghhh! I did!

Argghhh! I did!

The act of "nommage" can be seen in action at icanhascheezburger.com It is legal in most states.

Think starving cat and bowl of food. Nom nom nom....

Argghhh! I did!

Argghhh! I did!

ohhhhh.. Nommage! nom nom nom...
yeah. I've made some sounds like that before, but I can guarantee you I wasn't eating chocolate.

Damn. I did again. Not on purpose, either!

Woohoo!!! Lava lamps, chandeliers, souffles, and 'ritas! Tis a good night thus far. What's next???

Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

Ry ~ where'd you put those Cheetos?

*snicker*

That's IT?!? All I get is a *snicker*???

Damn. Going to have to liven this party up just a wee bit. The ball is getting ready to drop and it amazes me just how much Carson Daly looks like Dick Clark. Wonder if they planned that? Huh.

*goes looking for the good stuff and the shot glasses. None of this mixed drink crap*

Well, HFS, Maggie and W-K are showing a *lot* of decolletage... like, we can see the underwire marks... get in costume!

This *is* a party, and thus far... I'm the only guy here! Whoo-hoo!

My underwire marks are showing? Whoops! It's a tad early for that *blush*

Hey! Happy New Year to you East Coasters!

Maggie, where are you, wenchoid?

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!
(over here on the East Coast, that is. Trias wins the prize for The First Denizen to Welcome In 2008)

Woohoo! Let the fun begin!

HF6, the "snicker" was for John's usage of the Castle Echo to reiterate his previous echo.
hehe.

Nice wire-marks, girl. You should try braless- no uncomfortable wires!

I propose a toast! (since Maggie is slacking here...)

"To Bill Clinton who should STFU!"

"Here! Here!"
"Well said!"
"Cheers!"
"I'll drink to that!"

I would but it's COLD here. Don't need to necessarily go broadcasting that fact...

Besides, a good bra does wonders for a girl's figure!

Amen, Brother! Er, Sistah!

Hey! HFS is in costume! Woot!

I'm blinded by the lights!

ohhhh that's RIGHT! You're SNOWED IN in CO! Hope you're enjoying your vaca.

*raises glass*
Here's to Bill's: Clinton who should STFU and Tuttle who needs to be heard from more often!

Yeah! What she said, old man!

And would someone tell the chick in Colorado to turn down her brights?

Heheheheheheheheheh.

Oops. Um, Hi, MacGyver! Nothing to see here, moving along!

Dum-de-dum, deedle deedle dum-da-dum...

Just put on some sunglasses you silly man! Sheesh!

HA!
I caught you!

I caught John deedling his dum dum on the internet!!

Come to think of it... I think I'll dum dum my deedle and head off to sleep.

'night all!

you silly man

Ooo! A visit from the Department of Redundancy Department!

WK ~ sleep well!

Happy New Year to those of us in the Central Time Zone.

Those large booms you heard were the Castle Winchester Signal Gun running through a few blanks, just to remind the neighbors we're here!

Heh. Like they'd ever forget.

Keep you Rita's.

Give me two fingers of Bourbon.

In a number two wash tub!

Jake! Scout! Muffy! Hit the oubliette for the wet-vac! Gaby! Drop the stuffed marmoset and grab the trash bags!

Geez, only four of 'em and they trashed the place -- squished chocolate soufflés in the tapestries, whipped cream and margarita juice dripping from the chandelier and the beanbag chairs are now futons!

Oh, man -- the Echo's full of Cheetos™ crumbs again...

*wanders in*

*glances at the carnage*

*sits and mopes in the corner over missing the first Castle party in years*

*yawn*

*streeeetch*

*lick... lick... lick* (must smooth the fur before making a public appearance, you know)

Thanks for getting the Scruples to clean up after us, SugarButtons! We missed you and Fuzzy last night. Happy New Year!

[Looks at the Security Cams, nods, rolls over, goes back to sleep]

I'm surprised you people could get in this much trouble with out JimB behind the bar....if anyone's a slacker......

¡Feliz Año Nuevo a todos! Now - I need me myself some coffee.

FbL- no excuse for being late. You got the invitation I sent everyone else.

Unless.....

Were you engaged in "general debauchery"?

LOL

[Um, *this* from the chica who didn't show up herself?]

*nods aching head in agreement*

No fair calling a party and then not showing up!

WK ~ it's really ok that Maggie didn't show up. Just meant more alkyhol for the rest of us!

Where are the cheetos? I need something to calm my stomach down...

Not showing up!

I don't think anyone showed more at that party last night than me!

Hey, I didn't see anything I hadn't seen before, at the Milblogger Convention.

Oh, wait, I skipped the pub crawl.

But I say the YouTube!

Whut? Yawn. What happened?

Maggie ~ there's a difference between showing up and showing OFF ;~P

As always I'm a day late and a dollar short.

Grrr

Dang - and here I thought the puzzle was to figure out how to use all three implements! Does that mean you'd have to lock me up three times??

Ummmm -- hadn't realized you were that into *restraints*, Brab...

And there are ALL kinds of "restraints". LOL

Well, Frank is right. There are restraints, and then there are "restraints", ya know!

And we *always* exercise restraint when commenting about restraints.

Since when did we add restraints to the Jungle Room??? And how come I haven't experienced them yet?

*sigh*

Hah! And that from our unrestrained sybarite.

Same reason there aren't any seatbelts on the chandelier...

Sybarite: one fond of pleasure and luxury.

Yeah. That's fitting. Especially that "pleasure" part.

you'll put yer eye out with that thing...

That's what you get for marrying a blonde!

Hey now!!!!

Funny -- and it's always good to have another Vulture joining in the fun, and adding to our joke repertoire :-)

Hey now!!!!
Carrie married a blonde?

Barb -- as long as he doesn't rehash all the Vietnamese ones with "Ah-sah ahl eh emh" as the punchline...

Start running, rotor head.....the blondes are coming to get ya..
If I recall correctly (and I am pretty sure I do) Ms. HF6 is also a blonde..

Nah, HFS is a *red-head*, i.e., a smart blonde with a temper...

I don't know Carrie, but I've got her back.

My hair has been getting gradually more blonde while the Favorite Naval Consort is in a different time zone. You know the whole "while the cat's away...."

Start running, rotor head.....the blondes are coming to get ya..

Promises, promises.

All I'll have to do is -- oooooh, look, Carrie! Shiny!

LOL! Like we couldn't completely distract and discombobulate you by freeing just one button from it's fastner!

Heh. Maggie, save that little bit of torture for after a few months in the sandbox... :D

FbL - I take your excellent suggestion as an indication that you are siding with the blondes here?

Thank you, Maggie..:)

As I recall though, we distracted Bill for several days with the mystery of EGG SALAD.
I believe FBL could attest to that as well.

And John, HF6 is a strawberry blonde.

A blind man enters a Ladies Bar by mistake. He finds his way to a barstool and orders a drink. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"
The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is just fair - given that you are blind - that you should know five things:
1) the bartender is a blonde girl,
2) the bouncer is a blonde girl,
3) I'm a 6 feet tall, 180-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate,
4) the woman sitting next to me is blonde and is a professional weight lifter,
5) the lady to your right is a blonde and is a professional wrestler.
Now think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"
The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and declares, "Nah. Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

*snicker*
*snort*
0>;~}

Thanks for the H/t there, John! Glad you thought it was as funny as I did ;-)

Here's a big THANK YOU to all of our troops this season whether at home or abroad and an even bigger MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Jeff

Merry Christmas from north of the border to you, John, and all the Denizens!

Orders received and understood.

At my location, however, the XO frowns on "wandering eyeballs", so I will maintain the traditional wondering ones. ;}

Merry Christmas

Wonderful! I shamelessly stole this but trackbacks are giving me a headache.

You Better Watch Out!

Merry Christmas to all!

Merry Christmas, John and Denizens! We send our love , thanks, and best wishes from Virginia. You are in our hearts and prayers daily.

God Bless!

Alan & Shirley Briley
Veteran Sniper & RN

A safe and merry Christmas to all - Denizens and Denizennes, commenters, and lurkers alike. But especially to John and Beth.

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas to The Armorer and his lady, SWWBO and all my fellow denizens.

OK, back to wrapping for me.

Merry Christmas, John and Beth!

Merry Merry Christmas to you John, and Beth, and the rest of your lovely family!

Looks like a pretty hardcore sasquatch to me. Some species with too much hair on top and not enough around the lower paws.

Hope your power is on soon. And I need to be getting one of those generators in advance.

Sooooooo, what's the deal with the pink leggings?

Well, as you well snark my interest in dolls... I'm just letting my inner-Armorer out and dressing pretty.

Where are your pants, you mad-man!

Um, Maggie, my inner heat is sufficient, because I burn for you!

[/whack!]

Er, SWWBO!

I'm just letting my inner-Armorer out

Must. Resist. Overly-tempting. Straight. Line...

[Like I didn't lock and load that one for you... geez.]

Dammit Bill. THERE'S a mental image I'm not going to be able to shake. Thanks.

The Armorer is crazy. He regularly walks out in the snow to do something or other - like warm the car up or put gas in the generator - with only shorts and shirt on.

Oh, if it's icy enough, I'll wear shoes. And the shirt is optional.

Given where we live, the shorts could be... The GreatWhite Bear dances!

At some point, you would think that the Powers that Be (or the Powers responsible for power) would realize that their distribution should be routed underground.

Around here, after the Great Ice Storm of '03, they just hired a tree service to slaughter any tree within 100 meters of a power line.

Okay, tiny exaggeration.

And they've been slaying trees with reckless abandon for 4 years - the just hadn't got 'em all yet.

Worse for us, we're in an REC, which was creamed throughout it's area, and is undermanned for the task.

We went about 2 days without power. My neighbor and I ended up cutting a tree that took down the power line in the dark.

We figured, correctly, that with no power to the line we could speed up the process by cutting the obstacles to that progress.

Ever cut tree's with a chainsaw with power lines on the ground?
It's an unnerving experience to say the least.

But we got power back sooner, so sayeth the Co-Op.

Backflow valve on the water kept the pipes from freezing out, and I made a freeze break in pipe lines to be safe just in case.

If I can help during your adventure let me know. Last years ice storm I picked up a small propane heater that uses the Coleman canisters, but I rigged an adapter with the help of the local propane company to hook a 20 lb Grill tank to it instead. Gave it 6 feet of hose to keep the heater away from the tank. Sucker will almost heat the whole house.

Oil Lamps are handy too. Learned that living in Florida in Hurricane season years ago.

If I can help let me know!

Guys, you know that you have a friendly just down the road in Topeka, right? Seriously. Give me a call if you guys get tired of camping out.

I have beds, electricity, heat and tea. Coffee is available with a single stop across the street at my mom's.

Karla... we actually still have the house in town that we haven't yet sold or rented, we're covered in that regard.

We'd still have to hit the Castle twice a day to care for the horses and birds - but thanks!

BS - we're fine on the water pipes. The warmest part of the house is the basement, thanks to the water heater. I've got thermometers along the pipes on the wall, just to keep on eye on things. And the plumbing is set up for it should I need to "freeze-protect" things.

It's not quite as hard as I make it seem. It just reads better that way... I learned that from the MSM...

8^ )

MSM? I just thought you'd gone into war story mode: "There I was..."

John - On your list of things to have before next winter: You should invest in an Iron insert for your fireplace. They get hotter and are much more controllable so your wood lasts longer. You can get them with glass doors so you can still watch the pretty flames.

Heh. I feel for you. We were only out for a day and I thought we were going to have panic mode because we have no fire place, nor generator, nor any other source of heat or power for the house. And all the hotels were booked in the area.

Fortunately, I had kept the house pretty warm the last few days so it stayed above sixty for most of the time we were out.

Still, kept me from posting for a day or two since we had to run around and try removing some of the tree limbs around the house. Not only lack of power as a problem, but all those pretty trees in the summer that make great shade, make really carppy roof bangers in the winter.

Lehman's Non-Electric catalog. They are in Ohio.
All kinds of Nifty Non Electic Kewl Stuff. Some of it is way overpriced, such as the umbrella clothes dryers (200 at Lehman's, 30.00 at the local hardware store, but I digress), but you will find coffee percolators that work on wood burning stoves or fireplaces.

They sell to the Amish and homesteading community.

For the coffee a french press works great. Get a polycarb version that is unbreakable so you can take it camping. As long as you can boil water, you've got great coffee. Better than the old fashion percolators we used to camp with.

ry is right on the French Press. We found a stainless steel one we keep in the camper.

Heck,

Not only can I make coffee without power, I can roast it as well - gotta have your priorities in order.

I've got my stovetop roaster, various camping type stoves (plus just plain fires), hand grinders (yes. plural) and multiple ways to combine hot water and ground coffee that don't require any electricity.

Told ya, ya shoulda invested more time, effort and money into historical re-enactment societies. Civil War or even better, the SCA and you would be nice, warm and comfy.... Something to consider when the apocalypse occurs. /snark off

Just glad that the new homestead is holding out okay, even without power.

Echo that on the french press. I sent one to my cousin, Tori, in Iraq, along with a grinder, coffee beans, and chocolate syrup to make mocha's. She said it's working great. I got them from Starbucks for about $30.00.

The French press thing wasn't me. I don't drink coffee. We've got a new commentor around here. (Maybe including the URL as part of my ID will clear up future confusion.)

MacGyver has inverters and, when the power went out after the earthquake last year, they did a great job powering up my Coleman electric cooler and kept our milk cold until we could drink it as well as keeping my cell phone charged.

When the mini-hurricane blew through last week, they were pressed into service yet again and worked well to insure that MacGyver had coffee (he was given a French press for Christmas last year and it took all of 4 days before he shattered the carafe...grr...) and that my cell phone stayed charged.

We also make sure there is propane in the grill tank, plenty of white gas for the camping stoves, and fuel for the generator. My daddy didn't raise a fuel. Chalk this one up to a learning experience. At least now I know what to get you for Christmas!

Yeah me too. As the cold darkness descents, here at Fairbanks, and my efforts go to performing the ancient and arcane rituals needed to ensure that the sun will once again dominate our day (no thanks needed, just my job), my biological clock takes over and causes no limit of chaos.

Seriously though, heat, light, and radio are real big priorities. If the modern stuff doesn't work think back a hundred years or so to what did and make that your backup. Someone once said that once is an accident and twice is enemy action, or was that if it happens once it'll happen again, something like that anyway. Having an old fashioned wired phone instead of a modern cordless as backup is a real good start. You already have a fireplace, perhaps consider modifying it so that you can use it as primary heat (though still as backup, mine uses three 18 inch logs, is good for 4-5 hours and will get this place up to 90+ degrees at -50 outside).

Oh, don't have coyotes since leaving the PRC. My nearest neighbors are now Mama Moose and her calf. They winter in the trees about 50 feet from here. We've come to an understanding, I stay away from her calf and she will only eye me warily. I do have to warn visitors tho. The cats go crazy as they wonder around helping keep the yard clear.

ry - I figured that out after my post was up; that it was Ryan and not ry (I must have been running on paradigm).

French press? Hah! You want coffee just like the coffee you get from your favorite electric drip coffee maker?

Get a drip-o-lator. Greatest invention ever. It has three parts; a bottom where the coffee congregates after it's made, a middle where you put the coffee (and coffee filter) and a top with graduation marks to make as much, or as little coffee, as you like depending on how much water you use.

There's no fuss, no muss and clean-up is a breeze, unlike the French press thingies.

Fortunately we were powerless for less than five hours at my place. A kerosene lamp, a couple of candles strategically placed and a propane heater along with two dogs that had to be on my lap the entire time kept things warm.
Entertainment was provided by the electric company and mother nature. Mother nature because I was seated at my kitchen table when I heard a sound behind me. I looked around just in time to see the transformer on the pole in our alley explode. Further entertainment was had watching the electric company linemen fix said transformer.

Sorry for the confusion...didn't realize there was a ry posting as well. I'll use my last name when posting instead to avoid confusion (I'm being called McCoy anyways).

And, everybody... just to make it clear... your Armorer really *does* know how to live in this situation, he just wishes he had a Yukon Stove...

I guess I shoulda really started that one out with "This is no sh..."

8^ D

1. Yukon Stove.
2. Canvas Tent with liner.
3. -35C, but no wind.
4. Tent started smoldering.

Cheers

Feh, all you really need is Gilligan on the bicycle generator and a couple coconuts. But, then that leads into the Mary Ann vs. Ginger discussion... Perhaps that should be saved for another thread...

Mary Ann, of course, and obviously so.

Oh, on the fireplace-efficiency problem; Benjamin Franklin solved that problem a very long time ago. He really was quite sharp.

On 1850s Kansas; Wasn't there a whole lotta *bleedin'* going on back then? (wondering where I put Quantrill t-shirt)

Snork.

My son did a couple of those things at Wally World and at K-Mart. He would hide behind the clothes and make snarky comments like "OW!!! You're stretching the fabric of the space-time continuum!!"

Once he put his hands over his ears during an announcement of a blue light special and told me
that he would have to get more meds, as the voices were too much.

The penultimate though, was when we were trying to get oriented to a new PX...and we were lost;
he sniped: 'Is this like the blind leading the blonde?'

Merry Christmas...

I always love this list...

Happened to my friends family: They were at Disneyworld (parents, 4 kids; girl 17, boy 15, girl 13, boy 11. 13 year old girl had too much sun and was really tired. So they used a wheelchair to push her around the place...but NOT to hop lines, etc. So they are in the Magic Kingdom and come across Mickey Mouse walking around. 13 year old jumps out of chair and runs to hug Mickey, her favorite. 15 year old brother screams at the top of his lungs...'MY GOD!!! ITS A MIRACLE!!! SHE CAN WALK AGAIN!!! As my friend said look up hte word mortified in the dictionary and you would see his face.