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June 10, 2008

So, whattaya do...

Yer rich, your businesses are doing well, you aren't yet a hermit living in a hotel in Las Vegas and there's all this war surplus laying around - what's a feller to do?

Simple enough. You go all "Junkyard Wars" and build a heavy lift helo from spare parts laying around. The Hughes XH-17.

Hughes Xh-17

Your front wheels came from a B-25 Mitchell and the rear wheels from a C-54 Skymaster. The fuel tank is a bomb bay-mounted unit from a B-29 Superfortress. You get a cockpit from a Waco CG-15 and the tail rotor from a Sikorsky H-19. You set a record that still holds for the largest rotor system in the world... as well as about the most inefficient.

The propulsion system used two turbojet engines. But not very efficiently. You fired 'em up and then sent bleed air up through the rotor hub. The blades were hollow, and the very hot compressed air traveled through the blades to burners at the tips where fuel was injected. Got that? We've got two turbojet engines burning to provide hot, compressed air to flow through the blades where fuel is injected into burners (virtual ramjets, I guess) in the tips of the blades to spin 'em. The rotors spun at a dawdling 88 rpm. This did have the benefit of reducing torque - and allows for that comparatively small tail rotor. Only one of these things was built - and one reason might be that while it could lift 15 metric tons, it had a range of 40 miles, what with all that fuel burning to such little effect...

So, Bill - how'd it fly? Because it *did* fly.

If you've got the software, and would like to fly one yourself... click here.

H/t CAPT H for a pointer to the Wikipedia article.

Reporting As Ordered, Sir! �

by John on Jun 10, 2008 | TrackBack (0)

April 24, 2008

Doggone Apache Pilots Have All The Luck

Well, *some* Apache pilots do, as John noted in yesterday's H&I.

Of course, the *Cobra* pilots (yeah, yeah, okay, I'm the only one -- sue me) of the SugarButtons Brigade Aviation Battalion have a few incentives to keep current, too.

The SBB Armament Section, for one. And I sure couldn't fly very far without the selfless devotion of my fuel handlers. Of course, since the dreaded AH-1F is a flying *crew*-served weapons system, I'd be just plain foolhardy to slip the surly bonds of earth solo and deprive myself of the services of my highly-trained, exceptionally-skilled gunner.

Ah-*heh*...

Reporting As Ordered, Sir! �

by CW4BillT on Apr 24, 2008

March 19, 2008

*Tap-tap-tap* Is this thing on?

19 Feb: Departed Philly for Atlanta, hooked up at ATL with the newbies I was to Father Goose into Iraq. Amused myself with fruitless attempts to access the "free" wireless net service.

20 Feb: Arrived Amsterdam, had a boring layover (terminal renovation in progress). Eight hours and four Time Zones later, arrived in Kuwait, got 90-day visa and hooked up with the LSA reps at 1830. Sent us to the USAF side to sit on concrete T-barriers for four hours, then got the bus for Ali al-Salem, which we could have caught from the terminal on the civilian side after spending four hours sitting in padded armchairs. Turned in 90-day visa and passport for outprocessing at Ali and got a tent for the next two days. Dust storm all night and most of the next day, tent canvas thumped like a clipper ship's sails in a gale – lucky me drew a corner cot so I received the full benefit of thwup-thoomp from two sides *and* the rogue fuh-WHAP charging through the storm flap without slowing one iota.

And that was the last entry in my ‘lectronic diary. The battery in this particular HP laptop is only good for about an hour – which I didn’t find out until *after* I brought it to Pakistan last year, but KtLW insisted it was a good deal (hey, it was on sale, and the Luddite Wife would buy Ebola-laced mouthwash if it was marked down 50%) – and I’d already shipped my transformer and adapter collection via DHL.

Meantime, aside from the week-late editions of Stars ‘n’ Stripes we get up here (mebbe a tad more than a week late – the Sunday edition features Calvin and Hobbes), I’ve been keeping up with the civil side of progress over here via a PAO-type at DA, of all places. I don't normally shill for the HeadShed, but these are some Big Picture Things you won’t get from the MSM:

-- The U.S. Army has rehabilitated and constructed nearly 1,100 schools, providing classrooms for more than 324,000 students.

-- By early 2009, Army projects will have completed 137 new primary healthcare centers that will serve a population of 5 to 6.5 million Iraqis.

-- An estimated 4.1 million more Iraqis now have access to clean, drinkable water that they didn't have before. [Two of my stoon'ts said they were surprised to find out that water was *supposed* to be clear]

-- Cities like Fallujah have their first sewage treatment plant. Before 2003, raw sewage in most of Iraq was discharged into rivers and waterways. [I can vouch that the one up here is operational]

Got a neat vid, too.

Aaaaand, to bring everybody up to date on the mil side, go see John’s post from yesterday.

Go ahead – I’ll wait.

All done? Okay, to continue: first, the Good News.

We got a new blast wall for our bunker!

Note the hi-tech support-construction equipment

Now, it may not seem like much to you, but it’s the simple, quotidian things that make a hootch a home.

Now, the Bad News.

We needed it.

Here, a near miss means they nearly missed

Heh. No, I didn’t just give the dirtbags a free BDA, it’s been a while since I took the pic. I mean, you wouldn’t expect me to stay someplace that’s actually *dangerous*, would you? Besides, my Iraqi neighbors are a nice, quiet bunch who don’t throw loud parties after dark – I wouldn’t want them all upset by an increase in the local noise factor.

ANYway, you guys don’t come visiting just to see if I’ve developed a sudden case of common sense, so I’d better get down to something serious or John will dock my pay.

Again.

Sooooo -- Whatziss?

Oh, go ahead -- take a guess

That oughta keep John off my case for a couple of hours. In the meantime, while he’s burning up bandwidth googling "thingies that have threaded receptacles,” meet Hubert, 21st Century version. The Huey II.

Parasite Drag Revisited

Despite the cosmetics, such as the radar altimeter, ECCM suite, wirecutters (sorry – I meant to say Wire Strike Protective System, which are those, uh, wirecutters top and bottom of the cockpit), GPS, upgraded nav-comm avionics package, Cobra engine, drive train and tranny, exhaust diverter, additional cooler intakes in the tailboom and IqAF desert cammy paint job, it’s the same plain-vanilla UH-1H that served as the foundation for most of my TINS.

BTW, if anybody (or anybody’s – * sigh * – dad) flew 68-16473 in the Land of the Two-Way Gunnery Range, that’s what the ol’ girl looks like today. Hi-rez here, for us fling-wing grognards.

Ooooops – short-term memory lapse alibi. There’s something * else * different (ever so slightly) from the RVN config. I’ll wait while you try to figure it out.

Come to think of it, I’ll wait until tomorrow.

If our sat-link doesn’t crap out.

Heh – it’ll give John *another* reason to hope the bottle rocketeers take the night off…

Reporting As Ordered, Sir! �

by CW4BillT on Mar 19, 2008

February 22, 2008

Someone you should know... but probably don't.

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Frank Piasecki

Aviation pioneer Frank Piasecki, inventor of the tandem-rotor helicopter used in troop-transport missions and land and sea rescue flights, died Monday (11 Feb). He was 88.

Igor Sikorski was the first American to build a helicopter - Frank Piasecki was the second. His were more interesting, in the end (sorry, Igor, but hey, you'll always have the Illya Muromets!).

Born in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania to an immigrant Polish tailor, Piąsecki worked for autogyro manufacturers while still in high school. With his college buddy Howard Venzie he founded a small aeronautical company, Piasecki Helicopter. He built a single-person, single-rotor helicopter designated the PV-2 and test-flew it on April 11, 1943. This helicopter impressed the US Navy sufficiently to win Piasecki a development contract.

We know him because Piąsecki invented the concept of the tandem bladed helos. After the war, Piąsecki received a contract to build several military prototypes and this design principle came to be used in a number of helicopters that were very successful in both military and civilian use. These include the Piasecki H-21 (better known as the Flying Banana), which entered service in the 1950s, the Boeing Vertol CH-46 Sea Knight, and the CH-47 Chinook.

Piasecki eventually left Piasecki Helicopter Co. In 1955, he formed Piasecki Aircraft Corp. to continue exploring new technology. Piasecki Helicopter became Vertol Aircraft Corp. and was acquired by Boeing in 1960. Boeing still makes the Chinook and Sea Knight helicopters.

Apparently not one to slow down, a 88 Frank was still chief executive of Piasecki Aircraft, and testing is under way on his latest innovation. Seeking a new idea to replace the tail rotor of single rotor designs like the Blackhawk, the Speed Hawk helicopter has a rear-facing ducted propeller designed to improve stability and forward speed.

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The music may be a little different for the non-veterans we honor here at the Castle, but now is the time at Castle Argghhh! when we dance: In Memoriam, for Frank Piasecki, whose aircraft (including the Flying Banana) I've flown in, and upon whose ideas America's warriors still rely - as illustrated in the pictures that accompany this post. I'm guessing over in the Rotary Wing section of Fiddler's Green, there's a seat for Frank.

H/t, Mike L.

Reporting As Ordered, Sir! �

by John on Feb 22, 2008

October 31, 2007

For What It's Worth...

...you've seen me give hat-tip credit for the atrocious puns and oddball jokes with which V29 and Doc E bombard me (thereby reinforcing my rep as a real stand-up, albeit strait-laced, individual) and you've "met" V29 via his semifrequent comments and the TINS Times Two we tag-teamed on a while back.

So, I figger it's time to introduce Doc E.

Second Platoon: Act Sillyyyy -- ACT!

He's the guy on the left who forgot his sunblock. And, yes, he really *is* a doctor (even though he's never played one on TV), or, more precisely, he's now a *retired* doctor. But he prefers playing with his 'puter to playing with golf sticks -- he's a hi-tech hobbyist who's translated some of his pix from the Ol' Days into some YouTube vids, and I think you'll find his most recent effort a bit thought-provoking.

I'll link it after this caveat: although the pix and music are work-safe, there's a picture at the 6:35 mark you might want to view alone, or forego viewing altogether.

It's a shot of one of our cockpits after a typical day suddenly became a really bad one. The pilot was from my platoon.

It's a reminder that there's a price tag on freedom.

And so long as we would have freedom, there will be a price upon it, and so long as there is a price, there must be those willing to give what is asked, or we will no longer have freedom. Now transfer the image of that Huey cockpit to the interior of a Hummer or a sandbag checkpoint...

We're a fortunate people to have among us those who have given what was asked. We have the freedom for which they have paid -- and continue to pay.

It's only fair that we return them something in the way of repayment, isn't it?

Valour-IT: for what it's worth...

Reporting As Ordered, Sir! �

by CW4BillT on Oct 31, 2007

October 26, 2007

The howitzer at Rucker...

CAPT H suggested the gun was sitting in a Choctaw.

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Nope. It was in a Mohawkve [grumble - geez, I did link to a pic of same meaning I really did *know* it, he sniveled.]. A beast of a bird with two piston engines in nacelles standing out from the fuselage.

I feel old. I've flown in one of these. Okay, I was 7 or 8. Still....

Reporting As Ordered, Sir! �

by John on Oct 26, 2007

October 25, 2007

Continuing the "What's wrong with this pic?" meme...

Here's a another shot of the Boeing 347 down at Rucker, this time from the flank. There's your turbine nacelles, NinjaFluff - though, as I noted in the comments other post, they're empty.

Boeing 347 at Fort Rucker Army Aviation Museum.

Larger version can be had here.

Now here's one that will turn a few heads around here - though I'm sure the Vulture Brothers are familiar with it.

An Army RP-2E Neptune at Fort Rucker.

Who knew the Army operated the RP-2E - a variant of the only purpose-built anti-submarine bomber the US fielded (The others were derived from transport aircraft...)? It is also the last piston-engined bomber to be delivered into US service, or so I understand.

These aircraft were flown by an Army electronic warfare unit in Vietnam - the 1st Radio Research Company , aka the- "Crazy Cats" - from 1967 to 1972. That was news to me... and you can see a larger version here.

Reporting As Ordered, Sir! �

by John on Oct 25, 2007

October 24, 2007

So, what's wrong with this picture?

I don't think we can blame Bill, though I'm working on it.

Why's this helo look funny?

Nope, it's not a Chinook parked in front of an engineless C-17.

And there's something else funny about it.

Slightly larger pic available here.

Bill can't play, except to provide appropriate misdirection and snark. You snipe-hunters will have to do it on your own.

Ready, set, Google!

Reporting As Ordered, Sir! �

by John on Oct 24, 2007

October 23, 2007

On how the Cheyenne came to be...

So, given what we know about Sugarbuttons Bill, ya gotta think it went down something like this...

Bill and V29 (or someone very much like V29) are sitting at a table in a bar in Enterprise, Alabama, telling war storys. The TINS are flying so fast and hard the air has taken on an ochre tint... kinda like a dust storm, only... messier. Anyway, sitting at a table slightly behind them is a white-shirted, dark-pitted, greasy-haired, taped-glasses pocket-protector wearer with pimples, slipstick clipped to his belt. Yeah, an engineer.

Taking copious notes on his napkin, because he desperately wants to get the lingo down so he can sound like an insider on the flightline. Nope, couldn't be me - I was too young at this point. Besides, I'm not an engineer, however much the rest of the description may, or may not, fit.

Bill cocks his head towards the engineer and in a voce all sotto tells V29 (or someone much like V29) "Watch this!" Raising his voice, and maneuvering his hands to match his narrative, Bill sez, "Yeah, I got this from guys flying for the 11th ACR - they're out flying the border, when this new Rooshian bird comes up to 'em - a big brute of a beast, with wings, cannon, stacked drivers, and get this - it was a pusher! Yep - they hadda look twice, they said - thought the commie bassids were bringing in some kinda turbo-prop or something... but nope - it's a helo awright. Said it took off like a bat outta hell and scared 'em sober for 15 minutes!"

Bill checks out of the corner of his eye and Engineer-boy is scribbling furiously, reaching for his slipstick.

One year later...

cheyenne%20small.jpg

It's all Bill's fault, I tell ya.

Oh, sure, this is the *official* story. But which one sounds more real?

Larger image available by clicking here.

Reporting As Ordered, Sir! �

by John on Oct 23, 2007

October 2, 2007

TINS! You Picked It (Again)

Well, the voting was close, in keeping with the spirit of the TINS!, in which *all* the calls are close. And at least nobody said, "Hey, all that stuff happened while you were still in Flight School!"

Nooooo, they *didn't*, and I have the best witnesses a quart of muscatel can buy.

Unfortunately, Real World reared it's misbegotten multiple heads so often I didn't get the chance to write anything for the past two days. *But* -- because I like ya, and you've waited so patiently to see me get my ass shot off yet again something tangible, here's a preview of what Numbah 10 was all about:

I *knew* I hung on to those maps for a reason...

Yup, all those pretty colored kindergarten shapes actually *mean* something. I won't tell you exactly what, of course, until I figure out how to keep from getting my ass shot off actually type up the story. I'll give you a couple of hints, though.

The Plan.
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Me.


Them.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Off to Bollimer. With any luck, I'll be there before any of you can wake up, read this, and ask me to retrieve a certain stuffed marmoset...

Reporting As Ordered, Sir! �

by CW4BillT on Oct 02, 2007

September 28, 2007

Friday Two-Fers

Yesterday, ry walked all over it with golf spikes was kind enough to remind me that I walked all over it with football cleats hadn't yet announced the winner of the new tagline contest from a couple of weeks ago.

Ahem.

According to the rules of the contest, which you *all* read, agreed to, and then consigned to memory -- with the evident exception of ry -- nobody won. There were some really, really, *really* good one-liners that *nobody voted for*. So, it looks like I'm stuck with answering the once-a-month e-mail with "It's an OH-58D" in the subject line. For the time being. And it's all your fault, slackers.

Eeeep! I'm channeling John...

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
However, with me, you always get a shot at redemption. First, for those of you who have been stuck in a two-year time warp remember this one from a little while ago, congratulations on your admirable ability to restrain your curiosity for this length of time. Second, for those of you who are new to the site (and we *all* know who you are, but like you a lot anyway), here's the synopsis:

Every once in a while, regardless of what your particular job happens to be in the military, you hear a comment or a call over the radio that makes you realize how badly it sucks being you at that particular instance and in that particular point in space. One morning, I shook a bunch of them out of the *Ohhh-Boy!* compartment and listed them -- there's a TINS! that accompanies each -- and I asked you to vote for the particular one you figured would bore you the least deemed most interesting.

1. "Ooops!" [#1] -- from a gunship, two seconds after his rocket hit the (flooded) paddy I was just about to land in. Right underneath me. Instant concussive waterfall.

2. "Holy sh*t! They said Charlie didn't have any flak down here! One-Five, are any of you guys still alive in there?"

3. "Ooops!" [#2] -- from a different gunship, one nanosecond before my crewchief screamed that a rocket had just passed between our right skid and the belly of the aircraft.

4. "Hey, One-Five, you look like Niagara Falls. I thought those fuel cells were supposed to be self-sealing."

5. "Aaaaah! One-Five's dead!" -- from my copilot, right after I took a direct hit in the chicken plate that slammed me flailing off the controls while we were at flat pitch in an LZ. I thought I was dead and his squeak didn't do anything to lessen my depression.

6. "Sir? The world's biggest tracer just came offa Nui Coto an' -- geez, it's following us!" -- my introduction to the game of helicopter vs. heat-seeking missile. I won. Barely.

7. "Chalk Four, you've still got a tailboom. Couldn't say for how much longer, though."

8. "The SEALs are ready for pickup, sir. Along with about a platoon of VC on the other side of the treeline they're in."

9. "Sector TOC wants you to check out a possible 37mm site west of Nui Hon Soc. The others they sent there never called in."

10. "Hey, One-Five -- uhh, ya do know yer on fire, don't ya?"

Number 6 won. 'Fess up. You guys wanted to see if I really *did* get out of these things alive, didn't you...

However, there are still nine more to go, each one a bigger yawner than the last leading to a small vignette of a TINS! Pick a number and pop it into the comments -- the biggest vote-getter gets posted. And remember, one legit addy,

*glowering at a certain Denizenne blogtwin with multiple persona disorder*

one legit vote.

And then we'll do it again. And again, and again, and again until I figure you're ready to take on the sidebar -- again.

Two-Niner's allowed to pass, although he'll probably pop in to snark, because he either made some of the calls or knows the story already.

He *thinks* so, anyway.

Heh -- you don't think I only have *nine* stories left, do ya?

Reporting As Ordered, Sir! �

by CW4BillT on Sep 28, 2007

September 3, 2007

Tagline Contest Redux

Okayyyy, the tagline contest generated more responses than I figured, but it won’t be a genuine contest until The Winnah is picked.

Unlike those "contests" at -- ahem -- some *other* sites.

So, I figure our weekenders (technically, it's still the weekend) deserve a shot at it, too. Here’s the deal.

A. Go back to the link in the first sentence (you know, the one you ignored in your hurry to see what this is all about) and get the gist of what I’m hoping to achieve.

B. Snarken up your #2 posting finger and get ready to play.

You can either vote for one of the previous entries (by number) or submit one of your own. Or, you can score major points by picking one of my brilliant gems modest suggestions.

Ready? Go!

From Denizenne BlogTwin and perennial favorite (and not just in caption contests) AFSister comes this:

1. Aw, come on, Bill! I LIKE IT!

BlogNeighbor (and part-time blonde) Cassandra came up with:

2. [tapping foot]...

Mmmmmm – I predict I'll have to put Damage Control on Immediate Response status when / if she gets here.

We have two entries from the Castle’s Mistress of the Snark, Bad Cat Robot:

3. Ignoring the law of gravity since 1857!

4. If you throw yourself at the ground and miss really fast, you might be in a helicopter.

Chiming in from the Land of Backwards Seasons is trias with:

5. Bill's new copter with its Advanced Bill Correction Device (ABCD). This fantastic marvel of engineering automatically adjusts helium levels to make the CG move around wildly thereby providing Bill with normal operating conditions. AI could, unfortunately, not be included in the extensive feature list due to it's propensity to eject before takeoff.

Journalist NevadaDailySteve proves that the MinisculeStreamMedia does, indeed, have a sense of humor (a small one – but a sense of humor, nonetheless)

6. If you build it, some idiot will fly it.

Pat has been weeding in his DVD collection:

7. That's not a TINS, this is a TINS!

John, as usual, hit the wrong comment box – the one he obviously wanted concerned somebody’s guess about the Whatziss:

8. BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!

Castle newbie NinjaFluff has a twofer, too, fer ya...too...fer...*whap!* Owwww!:

You guys are great... This is why I love this site so much!

Okay, so that *wasn’t* one of her suggestions, but I'll take any compliment that staggers into the area. Geez, can’t I throw myself a bone, here?

9. Chief Sugarbuttons... flying the helicopters American's won't!

10. Bill, the Rotorhead - STILL flying faster than his Guardian Angel!

*sigh* Now I know who's been hounding me to join the Carborundum Fan Club...

Fellow GuardBud Pogue whaps my aged snoot with:

11. Four decades of combat operations.

Ymarsaker managed to avoid the firewall between Cassie’s place and the Castle:

12. Bill needs a helicopter to escape Cass's wrath.

Okay, he’s not *that* funny, but he thinks *I’m* funny and since he’s probably smart enough to take me two falls out of three in brain wrestling, I’m hedging my bets.

And perennial favorite in her own right (and another BlogNeighbor and demi-Denizenne), HomefrontSix tosses out:

13. Helicopters Don't Fly: They're So Ugly the Ground Repels Them.

Which I choose to take as a compliment, because I fall down a lot and have yet to miss the ground.

And -- a new record. I only got bumped offline by *two* power failures during the composition of this po

Reporting As Ordered, Sir! �

by CW4BillT on Sep 03, 2007

August 28, 2007

A New Contest

Relax, Cassie -- it's *not* a caption contest (mmmm, technically, it might be -- but it's not the one she's gonna damage me for).

Whatzis helicopter and why does it have a balloon on top?

Every month or so, I get an e-gram with the correct answer. OH-58D. Kiowa *gag!* Warrior.

Unfortunately, it's not supposed to be a serious question. Y'see, a couple of years back, when John first dragged me squalling and scratching into this mess suggested I start doing actual posts, rather than sending his spam filters into overload mode merely e-mailing him vignettes, he asked me what I wanted above my sidebar pic.

And he attached a jaypeg of a KW. If I hadn't thought he was kidding (I've never even been off the ground in one), I never would have replied with the phrase

Whatzis helicopter and why does it have a balloon on top?

because it's sort of an "in" joke in the fling-wing community, to wit -- "The aircraft's got such a high c.g. [translation -- it's so topheavy] it needs helium in the MMS to keep it from rolling over on the helipad."

If I'd known he was so freakin' Machiavellian serious, I would have come up with a cooler meme. Something like,

Proof that there *are* old, bold aviators! Ummm -- *old* ones, anyway...

Soooooo, that's the contest -- "Give Bill a new sidebar blurb." Winner gets brag rights and a free Urdu pronunciation lesson *or* a hi-res pic of a Cobra you can PhotoShop your face into and impress your friends, especially if they think you've never been in the Pakistani Army.

Changing the pic out will be the object of a future contest.

*waving hiya to Cassie*

Meantime, go for it!

Reporting As Ordered, Sir! �

by CW4BillT on Aug 28, 2007

June 27, 2006

WHATZISS "DNOUEMENT" STUFF?

Okay, SangerM gets the brag. He undoubtedly remembers looking down at it on more than one occasion...

It's the skid toe shoe for Hubert.

I don't care *what* kind of shoe it is--it's too tight around my toes!

MajMike was savvy enough to guess that Sanger knew what he was talking about, but he muffed the location. Nope, not vegetation-dings, either, John. The chipped areas are from gravel 'n' stuff kicked up by the rotorwash in "unimproved" LZs (never did see an "improved" LZ, except the hot ones that got worked over by suppressive fires) and the abrasions (red circle) are from contact with the towbar during ground-handling. The towbar attaching ring is on the inside of the skid, just aft of the skid shoe and the bar angles up when it's hooked to a tug; hence, the abraded area is always on the side facing toward the fuselage. In this case, the fuselage was to the right, so the toe shoe was on the left. Elementary, my dear Mikey.

A little tip-toe on the skid-toe, eh, AFSis? Makes getting in-and-out of a Huey a whole bunch easier than a Cobra...

Reporting As Ordered, Sir! �

by CW4BillT on Jun 27, 2006

Whatziss, indeed...

Whatziss? sez John. And, after a torrent of guesses (Its the nano-black hole that ry installed in the garderobe to to keep from having a Kevin moment. Its an aerial view of Tehran on the Day After. Et cetera), the dnouement.

Nope, its the ventilation hole in the spike of an uhlan's pikelhaub from the Franco-Prussian War. Snerk.

*sigh.* But do *I* post a picture like this

Huh?

and say, Whatziss?

Nope. Not I. You guys get to see the *entirety* of the whatziss.

Huh?

Yup, thats the whole thing.

And it even comes with clues--you may not have consciously absorbed the information, but if you saw The Green Berets, or Hamburger Hill, or We Were Soldiers Once or even Cartoon --uhhhhh--Platoon, you should be able to dredge the image up through the neuron net.

Ummmm--and it's been cleaned up. A *lot*...

Heh.

[Apropos of Bill's comment - it could be here. Or here. Or several other places. If you are new to the Castle, you should *definitely* click the first link. Actually, you should click through and read *both*. -The Armorer]

Reporting As Ordered, Sir! �

by CW4BillT on Jun 27, 2006

June 20, 2006

Okayyyy--

--looks like I've got to re-evaluate my definition of "a lead pipe cinch." Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce

Smoke gets in your eyes...

the control head for the M118 Smoke Dispenser

Now, you may have heard rollicking, primordial laughter emanating from somewhere south of the Delaware Water Gap every time you thought "rockets" about this critter.

That was me.

Four measley toggle switches, four cheap plastic rotary ID switches -- for *rockets*?

*grin*

This is what a Rocket Management System looks like. Eat yer heart out, Lex.

Okay, back to Smokey Joe. Sometime during the late seventies, some brainiac realized that sending OH-58As out looking for the Soviet 357th Motorized Rifle Horde when the balloon went up was just going to crank up the US casualty list that much sooner. So, he decided that, since the Cobras were going there *anyway*, they might as well have the capability to mark their own targets before they engaged them.

Yeah, that was our reaction, too.

But, the result was the M118. Remember what I said about how a malfunction would ruin your whole day? Take a peek at the functional test. If the clamps failed to extend, the smoke popped while it was still hung up in the ejector. Try evading some clown in a MiG-23 while you're dragging a red smoke cloud through the woods...

Meantime, brags go to Trias for sorta-kinda pretty much nailing it, albeit squishily; to Nicholas and wolfwalker for figgering out the color aspect; and to Eric for twigging to the color knobs having an identification, rather than a selector, function. Oh, and to John, for spelling intervalometer correctly.

And, if you really, *really* have to see where this thing got squeezed into the cockpit, drop in at the AirCav site -- it's an interactive hotmap, so rather than use up gobs of John's bandwidth, just copy 'n' paste

http://www.aircav.com/cobra/cockpit/pilot/pltstati.html

to your browser window, then you can play with it all you want. Lotta neat stuff to get your eyeballs crossed (visualize John actually *sitting* in the seat). And working with all that arcane avionics aeronautica was a *lot* more fun than trying to get an aiming circle needle to hold still...

Reporting As Ordered, Sir! �

by CW4BillT on Jun 20, 2006

June 19, 2006

Whatziss?

Well, since John has been grumphing that my stuff is more enigmatic than a German cypher machine, I figure I'll make everybody's day by posting a lead-pipe cinch:

Calling Bletchley Park. Come In, Bletchley Park...

Geez, wotta a bunch of whiners! Okay, okay--here's another view of it:

Okay--at least *part* of QWERTY made it...

Obviously, it's not a stand-alone item--it's gotta be connected to something else in order to function and to enable that something else to function, too. Ummmm--*several* something elses, that is.

When the entire system worked, it did exactly what it was designed to do, and when it didn't--wellllll, that was another one of those times when it really sucked to be me...

***************************

Update: Text from Trias, italics from yours truly--

A controller! I win I win Ok you can stop hitting me now.

It looks old and worn but that might be the norm in the military. The delicate fuscia peach and charcoal tones indicate military. The item looks worn on the edges which, with the plug n play bit, suggests that the item is often handled and removed.

At the same time it looks fairly robust. Like it might need to be resistant to the bumps etc of movement. So i think this is for a vehicle of some type.

Left hand and right hand arm. Kinda says aircraft missiles doesn't it? But i'll go outside that and say helicopter. And because i think it's kinda plug n play i could be a 'special' weapon (weapon used real loosely here)like flares smoke grenade or something like that.

It's the dials which have me scrathing my head RGBYWV. The closest match for me is red green blue yellow w?white? and violet? Colours? Hardly a rainbow. Maybe for parades? Far more likely a code. But what the hell does that mean? And being the foremost expert in military hoohar i am utterly lost in the woods.

So a controller for a helicopter special weapon??

I love guessing.

Okay, the lad from the Land of Warm Christmases has put enough shotgun pellets into the target (although he's slightly off the mark on a minor point) to define it, generically. So, what is it *specifically*--meaning system nomenclature and aircraft-of-application?

I toldja it was a lead-pipe cinch...

Reporting As Ordered, Sir! �

by CW4BillT on Jun 19, 2006

May 18, 2006

It's "Whatziss," *not* "Whazzis," John. Geez...

Okay, I guess the suspense kept everybody awake all night, so I wont torture you anymore (oh, wont that sentence draw some trenchcoated traffic from google--cant wait).

The Whatziss is the Shaft Pinion and Reduction (SPR--pronounced spur and so I shall refer to it as such in the narrative) gear from an OH-6A.

Background

Now, because the Loach was intended for scouting in Vietnam and aeroscouts in Vietnam got shot down a lot, the aircraft was designed to be as light, as maneuverable and as inexpensive as possible. Basic flyaway cost of the 65 model was about $12,000, which was cheap enough to put it into the disposable category in the Armys mind.

Hehthe Air Force dropped *bombs* that cost more than that.

However, in addition to being light, maneuverable and inexpensive, the OH-6 was also overpowered, overbuilt and rugged as all get-out. Repairing them wasnt always cost-effective, though, since the Hughes Tool and Die Company (don'tcha just *love* that name!) never did ramp up to producing a lot of spare parts, so, with limited production runs coupled with the usual boondoggles, it was sometimes cheaper to buy a new helicopter than repair the old one. So the Army bought a * lot * of them--over 1,400.

In 1968, the Army decided that Howard Hughes had gotten rich enough off the gummint, ceased purchases of the OH-6 and fielded Bells OH-58. Or, as we called it, the OH-Five-point-Eight--because it wasnt quite as good as a Six.

Then, in 1975, the Army decided to dump allocate anything even remotely reminding it of Vietnam the remaining OH-6s to the National Guardand for the first time ever, the Guard had a better piece of equipment than the Active Army. So, for twenty-plus more years, the little disposable helicopter soldiered on. Found a niche in the civilian world as the Hughes 500, too. But helicopters dont age gracefully--vibration, tension, torsion and corrosion take their toll and metal fatigue inevitably sets in and weakens critical components.

The Problem

Since the shaft pinion and reduction gear was part of the mechanism that reduced 6,000 engine rpm to 497 main rotor rpm, it was a critical component. And one that the book said didnt have to be inspected more often than every 500 flight hours. The Loachs engine was mounted diagonally and the spur gear connected directly from the accessory gearbox to the transmission driveshaft--so in addition to vibration, tension, torsion and corrosion, the gear was also subjected to temperature extremes. But it was tough--remember what I said about the Loach being overbuilt? Unfortunately, it was only overbuilt for a disposable helicopter.

Enter metal fatigue. The steel crystallizes at stress points, the crystals shatter and hairline cracks develop in the shaft walls. The hairline cracks become * big * cracks and, if not discovered, become mini San Andreas faults. Heres where the problems were developing:

No, guys--look *inside* the oval...

Then, one day, the San Andreas goes *ka-rack!*, and you get the following:

The engine, suddenly unloaded from the task of turning the massive gears in the transmission, overspeeds and overheats, in excess of, respectively, 30,000 rpm and 1,000 degrees Fahrenheit. The pieces of spur gear start rattling around internally and the accessory gearbox eats itself alive. Soon thereafter, the fuel and oil lines surrounding and feeding the engine warp and crack due to the excessive heat and spray aromatic hydrocarbons all over. If youre lucky, it doesnt explode immediately, it just sort of catches fire. And, since the Falklands War pretty much established the fact that aluminum *will* burn, your fuselage joins the action, too.

Meanwhile, the transmission, since its not being powered anymore, decides to take a rest, and the main rotor rpm decays--rapidly. Which means, if youre caught by surprise by the noise in back and the realization that you can now see the individual blades, youve got about a second to enter autorotation, retard the throttle to the idle detent, honk the nose back into a hairy assed pronounced flare to attempt to regain rotor rpm, and pray youre directly above an open field that wont mind hosting the burning, disabled helicopter that just dropped in unannounced.

I just hate it when that happens.

So, for about a month, us Instructor Pilot types did nothing but teach the other guys the symptoms and the cure and practice, practice, practice the emergency procedure. Finally, some bright light said, Heythe civilian models dont have this problem. I wonder why? The answer was simple. Because the Hughes Aircraft and Missile Corporation anticipated that the Hughes 500 would last a good, long while and so made the upper portion of the spur gear wall one millimeter thicker. As in, 1mm.

Great, said the Guard Bureaus Aviation Directorate. Well just install the Hughes 500 spur gear in the OH-6 and everything will be hunky-dory. So Guard Bureau shelled out seven grand apiece for about four hundred civilian spur gears.

Non-milspec spur gears.

The Dnouement

You can see this coming already, cant you? Yup. Some Log Colonel who didnt care *why* Aviation bought the civvie gears had a fit because they were non-standard, snagged the shipment before it could be distributed and had a machine shop mill one millimeter from the thickness of the wall. He thereby turned the new, non-milspec, *good* gears into new, milspec *bad* gears and released them for distribution.

Without telling the Aviation guru what hed done.

Fortunately, the Quality Control guys in hangars around CONUS noticed the shiny, freshly-milled band (Hi-Rez!), broke out the micrometers and quarantined the lot of em.

The word reached the top of the heap and, that afternoon, there was a fresh scalp dangling from a Two-Stars lodge pole.

And, since an IP never passes up a chance to add a busted part to his collection of training aids, I snagged a couple for the IP office before they got sent to the recycle bin. Casual visitors used to spot the one on my desk and ask, Whazzat?

So, I labeled it for their benefit.

Hey, Boq! You oughta see it when its full of pencils...

I can get downright artistic with White-Out

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Epilogue

From HomefrontSix:

Mac sez: The cut into the valleys is too deep. This is evident by the machining grooves that can be seen in the buttress. ie the bevel at the bottom of the top gear. If the cut was made to the proper depth, machine marks would not be seen below the bottom of the top gear. The depth of this cut has negated any additional strength that the buttress might have provided.

Heh. MacGyver twigged that it was too thin and he spotted the extraneous milling--not *perfect*, but I'd say it's close enough for an FFE. I'm quietly proud that a fellow brooding, introverted, anticipator of trouble got it before one of the buoyantly extroverted stiff-wing polishers.

And, as usual, Boq cut right to the chase.

Discoloration on The Vanes??? Why, I think that those polychromatic shades of patina confers an august je-ne-sai-quois to that paper weight ;)
Reporting As Ordered, Sir! �

by CW4BillT on May 18, 2006
� MilBlogs links with: A whodunit...

May 17, 2006

Whatziss (with a twist)

Im sure youve all heard the military procurement horror stories -- the $500 hammer, the coffeemaker for the C-5 that was built to withstand G-forces that would turn the crew two-dimensional, the Air Defense system that showed a preference for engaging the broad side of a barn rather than an attacking aircraft, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. Some of the tales are the result of the investigative reporter jiggering the figures, some are the result of imperfectly-written specifications, some are genuine cases of Waste, Fraud n Abuse and still others are the result of what Dusty so aptly described as Pugnacious Stupidity.

The ol My mind is made up -- dont confuse me with the facts Syndrome.

The reg sez thus-and-such, therefore thus-and-such it is and ever shall be -- even though the (never identified) reg may refer to something else entirely. Or the reg might just be flat-out wrong -- it was written by a human being, after all (the classic appeared in a series of changes to the OH-6A Operator's Manual, defining FARs -- Federal Aviation Regulations -- as Flying Aircraft Regulations). Or, the reg might have been correct when written, but is now hopelessly outdated.

The most expensive item in my little museum came to me courtesy of outdated specs augmented by a slavish adherence to the regs. This little beauty (*not* the needle-nosers) cost the National Guard $7,000 in 1988 dollars, as did each of its four-hundred-odd brethren.

View from the Top. Or a reasonable facsimile

What was it worth upon delivery, after its rather tortuous journey through the procurement process?

Nothing. Zip. Zilch. Nada. Nema. Rien. Nulla. Khng. Nichts. ничто. For its intended application, anyway.

The reason for its transition from a shot-peen-hardened, single-block-milled, fairly expensive aircraft part to a shot-peen-hardened, single-block-milled, fairly expensive hunk of junk is visible in the pic below:

Kinda gives a whole new meaning to the term, Military Gear, huh?

And, for the metallurgical detectives among you, heres the Hi-Rez.

Geez, I even impress *me* with how good Im getting at this close-up stuff.

Well, first off -- what is it? you inquire. Well, since its kind of an esoteric part, and since youd have to be an especially groggish grognard to know for absolute certain-sure what it is, I think Ill be lousy, mean, rotten and spiteful and let you guess. Even Jon the Knuckle-skinner is gonna find this one a toughie.

But I can use the chuckles.

Ummmm, sorry, Miz HomefrontSix, maam, its not the gear that stows the rotor blades in flight to allow you to activate an ejection seat.

*going totally queasy at that visual*

Reporting As Ordered, Sir! �

by CW4BillT on May 17, 2006
� Alphecca links with: Your Tax Dollars At Work
� MilBlogs links with: Seasoned Helo pilots...

May 11, 2006

Whatziss? Is Ziss...

...and resist the temptation to spend all the time googling Bill's thrice-dam*ed "Whazziss?".

I hate it when John whines. He never serves the proper cheese...

*segue*

...cheese, you guys were woefully shortchanged during your survival training (you prolly drew the SEAL for an instructor--they have a tough time with the concept of "fire" as something you make, as opposed to something you call for).

"simple, it's a butain lighter from a survival kit"--Mudpuppy1975 got it!

One of these days, I gotta practice my closeups...

Lighter, butane, refillable--the firestarter kit from the SRU-21/P Aviator's Survival Vest. Bigger pic (easier to see the details, not necessarily higher resolution. John doesn't call me Twitchy Bill for zero reason...) here.

If they'd just made 'em "Lighter, butane," they probably wouldn't have had the reliability problem--the critters osmoted butane past the O-ring gaskets. I wasn't there, but I can just about guarantee the following conversation took place between the R&D geeks: "...and if we make them refillable, all the pilot has to do when he runs out is go to the nearest convenience store and buy a can of butane in the tobacco section."

You *can* refill them, btw. On both the MkI and the MkII, the spark wheel and flint module pop out and expose the refill valve--a quarter of an inch deeper than any commercial refill head will reach, so you have to combine two of the adapter nozzles (and different ones for each--gotta love standardization like that ) to do the trick. Which is a pain, but worth it when you pull it out in some dive uhhhhh gin mill intimate little club to light a lady's cig and she says, "Oooooooh--interesting lighter. Where'd you get it?"

The other problem (operator-induced) the MkI has is that, if you twist the control head much past a quarter-turn and flick the spark wheel, you get a six-foot-long flame, albeit for about three seconds. It could attract undesired attention in an evasion situation. However, since you probably wouldn't even *think* of starting a campfire in the midst of the baddie battalion beating the bushes for you, it's a moot point.

I was only semi-surprised that V29 didn't pick up on it, since we were only issued a vest (one per aircraft, *not* one per crewman--that's still another shortage we had) on rare occasions.

I actually got to wear one twice.

*shrug*

Actually, that's kinda moot, too. Down where we were, a survival kit was two personal weapons and 50 rounds for each of them--because if you went down and didn't hookup with friendlies within ten minutes, you became an Alamo re-enactor while the other side came at you with the Degello playing in the background...

Reporting As Ordered, Sir! �

by CW4BillT on May 11, 2006

May 9, 2006

Whatziss?

That whole incident with the water buffalo and the ninja spider was highly exaggerated. For one thing, I've never used a wrench on a spider in assault mode--a simple *flick* of the index finger and he becomes HALO qualified.

If you use a wrench, you can't see the look on his face when he hits the slipstream.

And if I'd inadvertently plunked down in the immediate proximity of a water buffalo, I'd at least have had the presence of mind to use today's "Okay--WTF is that?" on him.

One of these things is kinda like the other...heh!

The dummy 20mm round is just there to provide a sense of scale--these doohickies were hand-operated. When they worked at all, they worked well, but they *did* have a reliability problem, especially the MkI, pictured at center--you had to remove the protective knurled sleeve, then arm it with a counterclockwise quarter-turn; if you didn't turn it far enough, it wouldn't function at all, and if you turned it too far, it became just as hazardous to you as to the target. If your fingers were wet, you were up the creek.

They solved that problem in the MkII by adding a small function bar with a mechanical stop. It also ameliorated the reliability problem, somewhat, but it was just as dangerous if you panicked and pushed it past the stop.

And no, these aren't live. The initiating mechanisms are intact, but the *boom* stuff...ummmmmm--*went away*--a long time back.

ROFASix and Outlaw 13 probably know what they are (I know V29 does--heh!), and some of the older Special Ops guys might have had a chance to play with the MkII. It took me about three minutes to Google a pic of the MkI (and it was for sale, too. Some people have no sense of historical significance...)

I figure it should take all of fifteen minutes for *somebody* to hit it. I owed you guys an easy one after the water gauge...

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

It's been a loooooong fifteen minutes, guys, so here's a hint:

Check my comment to Bloodspite. The HEEDS is a cylinder containing a compressed gas (air)--that's the track that needs further exploration.

John: The link to the MkI is still there--the guy bills it as "Rare" and wants $39.95 for it. Only reason it's "rare" is because the WTFs that survived Vietnam got sent to the National Guard (part of the usual Army hand-me-downs played up in the Army Times as *modernizing* the Guard), from whence they were transferred to the nearest dumpster when the Life Support techs found out how unreliable they were--and the reason!

Reporting As Ordered, Sir! �

by CW4BillT on May 09, 2006

May 7, 2006

Ninja Spiders, Water Buffalo, Guardian Angels

That can only mean one thing. Bill and Beer.

This morning I found a packet nailed to the portcullis as I went to pick up local recycle fodder.

My first thought was I had an ecclesiastical crisis, which is strange since the Castle is not an ecclesiastical seat of anything. I did check the scanners for KWiPs (Kossacks With Pitchforks), but it was clear. I do that every morning before raising the 'cullis. Even the Moat Monsters and Drawbridge troll won't eat them. I turned my attention to the packet. It was wrapped in a hastily handwritten note. All it said was: "See what we have to put up with!?!"

When I unwrapped the note, out fell a ragged white feather of radiant purity.

And the attached Army Accident Report form. Badly tattered and stained. I swear some of those stains look pretty salty, too.

Ahhhhhh. [light goes on] Carborundum, Bill's Guardian Angel, was by last night. Probably drunk again. He can't ever remember his Portcullis PIN when he's drunk, and he's too conscientious to fly in that condition. Ahem.

Must be because of this. Bill still needs his GAs even now that he's retired, and especially moreso since one of his GA Remotes was recalled to Piddler's Green for debriefing and rest.

Though she did leave a sensor behind.



1. Summary: Helicopter impacted water buffalo during evening transit.
Helicopter trampled and gored.

2. [Oil stain]

3. Circumstances.
A. Origin. Some godforsaken hellhole with a quonset hut, I dont remember, they all look alike to me.
B. Mission. Morale improvement [of pilot, buddies, and anybody else wanting a beer]
C. FLT purpose code. B33R.

4. [eaten by insects]

5. Damage and costs.
A. Helicopter.
1. Effectively destroyed, unless somebody comes up with an entire skid and most of the components usually found on the left side. Plus the rotor got gnawed on a bit. And a wrench-sized hole in front windshield.
B. Army property damage. 20 kegs beer, $119.60. [handwritten: Really?][handwritten in by different hand: Nobody said get *good* beer, did they?]
C. Non DoD property damage. Bruised and irritated water buffalo, property of some guy yelling at me and no, I didnt get his name. I could identify the water buffalo in a lineup, as long as it was restrained. Those things hold a grudge.

6. Personnel information, injuries and costs.
A. Souls on board. two, including enemy stowaway.
B. Crew. Pilot at controls, callsign SugarButtons (SB), on duty, injury to third point of contact, claimed shot off, claim not supported by medical staff.
C. Total number of passengers. One stowaway, fatal injury during hand-to-hand combat.[handwritten:It was a goddam SPIDER, and I dont care what Tuttle says it is NOT Viet Cong.]

7 [missing pages]

(8) Chronology
(A) (P) All times local. times from 2000 to 0438 are approximate.
07:00 - SB awakes.
11:45 - SB gets crappy lunch.
12:15 - SB given yet another do-the-impossible-immediately mission, making 6 total for the day. [handwritten: Dont we have a code for those?].
13:05 - SB pulls off immediate and impossible. Chewed out for lateness.
14:00 - SB tightens Jesus Nut with wrench (Exhibit A).
14:34 - Helicopter develops mange in tail boom, requires maintenance.
14:57 (est) - Stowaway enters helicopter, takes concealed position above pilots seat.
15:32 - Helicopter declared mange-free, SB returns to duty as bullet magnet.
17:45 - SB gets crappy dinner.
18:00 - SB featured participant in self-criticism exercise.
19:30 - SB heard to say Oh God, I need a drink
19:31 - SB hears of source of large quantities of beer, takes off to locate same.
20:10 - SB obtains and stows 20 kegs beer, takes off to return to base.
20:27:10 - Stowaway deploys internal ninja rappel line, attacks SB.
20:27:12 - radio transmission AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!
20:27:13 - SB grabs wrench (Exhibit A), swings at stowaway. Stowaway performs evasive maneuvers.
20:27:16 - SB uses overhand swing to smash stowaway with wrench. Stowaway killed instantly, body not recovered. Wrench penetrates windshield. [handwritten: Did we get any injury claims due to falling wrench?]
20:27:18 - SB notices negative altitude progression, pauses victory celebration to level helicopter.
20:27:19 - Impact of helicopter left skid with startled water buffalo.
20:27:21 - Helicopter tilts and lands in non-regulation manner on side. Enraged water buffalo is entangled in skid. Beer kegs break loose from restraints.
20:27:22 - Rogue beer keg drops under water buffalo.
20:28 - Water buffalo steps on beer keg during attempted destruction of helicopter, keg is stuck on left hind hoof.
20:31 - SB exits helicopter, circles under cover of foliage, and attracts attention of water buffalo.
20:32 - Enraged water buffalo rights helicopter attempting to attack SB.
20:35 - SB leaves jacket on stick as decoy, saunters back to helicopter, restows beer, and takes off. Enraged water buffalo is still entangled in left skid.
20:51 - Water buffalo undocks from helicopter. Takes skid as war prize.
21:15 - SB arrives with beer, and there is much rejoicing.
04:20 - Maintenance chief notices helicopter missing skid and most of left side parked on pad.
04:20:03 - Heard throughout base: TUTTLE!
04:25:05 - SB heard to say It wasnt me!
04:38 - SB states damage sustained by VC action and sabotage.

9,10. [more missing pages]

11. analysis.
a. Aircrew factor - SB failed to notice water buffalo. Rejected. Water buffalo had no night running lights or luminous markers.
b.Aircrew factor - SB had anticipated party and gotten hammered. Rejected. All available evidence including witness statements indicate SB could not have done any of the above actions impaired by alcohol, plus it would take more than the one missing keg to do it.
C. Enemy action - VC spider attacked SB to capture beer and/or helicopter. Rejected. There is absolutely no evidence enemy cadres have sunk to enlisting arachnids. Spider was most likely an independent actor.
D. Act of God - meteor strike. Rejected. All damage to helicopter was on lower surfaces. Meteors strike from above, and even Tuttle cant fly a helicopter upside down. We think.
E. Bad Luck - These Things Just Happen, Especially to Tuttle (TTJHET). Accepted. Prior accident reports attached as reference.
Who: Aircrew, pilot at controls, TUTTLE!!!!
What: Bad Luck, TTJHET, ninja spiders
Why: malign fate, complacency, and problem not forseeable. I mean, who anticipates ninja spiders?

Reporting As Ordered, Sir! �

by John on May 07, 2006

May 2, 2006

But whaddya do with the empties?

The Ma Deuce is a nice weapon and trying to set the headspace and timing on one when you've misplaced the li'l gunner's widget is an interesting way to pass an afternoon.

However, I prefer a round that makes a bang at initiation *and* at termination. One that's also a tad larger than the .50 cal...

Sarge B's scion meets his big brother

Pulling both of those out of your pocket during a Hangar Tour always got the kids' attention. And showing them the gun that fired it and how it was fed always presented a nice opportunity to teach them about gearing ratios, transducers and transformers, voltage regulators and a bit of physics. Heh--and "links" meant something other than "read what this blogger has to say"...

Hey, kids--*this* is linky-love...

Now, an expended 20mm shell casing is a marvelous thing. Large enough to be useful at work, either after a slight modification...

I know a guy who made a handle for his survival knife out of a casing. I asked him how he expected to use it in sub-zero temperatures and he said he'd just find a deer and get it to stick its tongue on the handle...

...or without. Just think artistically...

Okay, so it ain't Rembrandt.

However, the ultimate use for the expended casing was to turn it into something functional in the field, especially something that would enhance certain occasions--such as those al fresco interludes involving you and your MRE...

Heh.

Reporting As Ordered, Sir! �

by CW4BillT on May 02, 2006

April 18, 2006

Okay -- Here's What It Is...

Like Captain JMH says, context is everything -- and in this case, if I'd shown it in context (below)

Form follows function, all right...

the gun bunnies would have gotten it without even a second thought. As it is, Outlaw 13 nailed it and KCSteve did a pretty good tap dance.

The Mk66 rocket, aka Hydra 70, is spin-stabilized, which is the reason for the scarfed nozzle. The fins do what the fins on any rocket does -- they provide drag to keep the business end pointed toward the target. When they're in storage, the shielding sleeve keeps the fins folded against the motor and allows the rocket to be loaded without much hassle. HomefrontSix nailed the site, just the wrong bit of ordnance. Click here and scroll down to the section on igniters for the line drawing.

Here's what the motor looks like with fins extended.

Form follows function here, too...

If you were curious enough to read the entire blurb at Ordnance-dot-org, you read about the effects of EMI on the Mk66 motor. This particular motor was used in those tests -- notice the little bolt sticking into what would be the exhaust stream? That's where one of the testing receiver's wires were attached.

And I might as well show you the motor in context, too.

Form follows function here, too. Boy, am I getting mileage out of *that* old chestnut...

No, the rocket's *not* live. I'm not completely crazy, y'know...

"Well, Officer, I think the 2.75" holes in the roof, the second story hallway floor, the kitchen ceiling and floor and the basement ceiling were caused by a meteorite which detonated milliseconds before impacting the basement floor -- which is why it's scorched and not cratered. Ummmm -- you're familiar with the Tunguska Event, right? Sooooo, that's my theory, anyway..."

Oh, yeah -- almost forgot about that little hole in the sleeve. That's a dual-function hole: it allows you to touch the fins with a grounding rod *and* (if it's aligned properly) it simplifies loading the rocket into the launcher to guarantee the igniter arm makes proper contact with the motor.

Nice guesses, guys (ummmm -- a *bracelet*, ma'am? Heh!) Just to keep you on your toes, here's a heads'-up: I've got one of the EMI testing receivers, too (no, it isn't a bag of microwaveable popcorn. But it'd have been interesting if I'd stuck one inside the cockpit while we were doing the flights, just to see if the EMI was frying *us* along with the simulated ordnance).

I'll just wait 'til John's short term memory does its thing before I stick *that* little jewel here...

UPDATE: Geez, speaking of short-term memory -- the orange stripe is actually a strip of reinforced tape with "How To" illustrations. John was thinking standard ordnance colors (yellow, olive drab, blue, etc.), but us Aviation types usually rearmed in the weeds and, if the sleeve was dropped around the aircraft (where do you think I got my collection?), the orange made it easy to spot and retrieve before the thing could be turned into a rotorwash-launched missile. And HomefrontSix did rather well, considering she's married to a tandem-rotored truck driver -- she'd have been more familiar with things that went *bang* if these guys were still around.

Reporting As Ordered, Sir! �

by CW4BillT on Apr 18, 2006

April 17, 2006

Okay -- What's This?

No, not the bottle. You already know what *that* is. I hope...

The bottle is now as empty as the thing next to it. You've gotta be quicker, Ry.

There actually *is* a colored band on the critter -- I've PhotoShopped the relevant details out just to keep the playing field level, but the hole in the side is real and just about big enough to give a house-hunting wren some real frustration.

It's just a plain aluminum tube

See? Told you it was open at both ends...

with a very important job. And I found it at the second site I Googled (well, only a line drawing of it, but it included all the relevant details), so it's out there...

And, no, Neffi -- it's *not* Andr's shaving mug.

Reporting As Ordered, Sir! �

by CW4BillT on Apr 17, 2006

April 10, 2006

Accessorizing your War Wagon, Part II

Yesterday, as a Public Service, Bill helped you install an Armament Control Panel to your Basic Mode of Transportation Device.

Today - we'll help you with Fire Control by adding a sight. From Arsenal Stocks we offer up the US Navy's Illuminated Sight, Mark 9 Mod 2.

US Navy Illuminated Sight, Mark 9 Mod 2

A real space saver, with the optional mounting kit, easily affixes to your dashboard, right in front of the steering wheel. If you routinely fly with a co-pilot and want greater flexibility, we offer a drop down, trainable mount which will slave to your weapons station. Comes complete with reticle dimmer to account for all lighting conditions.

Nice parallax-correcting sight picture, with dual circle-with-a-pip reticle for your target acquisition and engagement pleasure.

Take that, lane-crosser!

Today only - $99.95*

Flash Traffic (extended entry) Follows �

Reporting As Ordered, Sir! �

by John on Apr 10, 2006

April 9, 2006

Accessorize your War Wagon

Ever drive down the road and mentally blow the driver in front of you to kingdom come with a minigun? It may not have been a completely satisfactory experience if you didn't have the ancilliary switches 'n' stuff to complete your "willing suspension of disbelief."

With a couple of switches and some sheet metal you can pick up for a song at the neighborhood Property Disposal Office (although you may have to submit a sealed bid on a B-52 just to get the switches), you can accessorize your four-wheeled gunship with your very own OH-6A XM-27 armament panel.

XM-27 Armament Panel - Side View

Vwalla! Fiddly bits exposd! Couple o' wires, a toggle and a rotary switch -- what could be simpler? And you can assemble the whole thing with a pair of needle-nosers.

*not*

But if you're less mechanically-inclined than Bad Cat Robot, you can just cut out the top view

XM-27 Armament Panel - Top View

and paste it on your console. Armed/Safe switch to Armed (wait for the light to come on), Master switch to Fire Norm (nothing personal, Norm. Really) and you're ready to squeeze the trigger and send hot, screaming, imaginary leaden death up Slowpoke's exhaust stack.

Ummmmm -- actually, you might want to *print* the pic in lieu of peeling it right off the monitor...

Drive a lot at night? Don't forget to flip the NVG filters over the lights

XM-27 Armament Panel - NVG Filters Down

before you goggle-up.

By the way, congratulations. You've just seen a couple of things that only Little Bird pilots and crewchiefs have seen. Oh, yeah -- *and* the Crash Investigation Teams...

Reporting As Ordered, Sir! �

by CW4BillT on Apr 09, 2006