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When a SouthCarolinian, a Kiwi and a Rican Meet...

Goats Die - DIE GOAT, DIE!!!

WARNING: This post is most definitely NOT suited for lover of Goats or other cloven-footed bovids. My deepest apologies to both Missa Beth and Massa John for this entry. For I, BOQ the recovering Bidnezzman, had a direct hand in this violent train of events.

During my years of flogging boom-boom candy and bang-sticks around Latin America, I grew accustomed to dealing with hard-bitten military and public security types. But this one sale jumps out for being a bit unusual...

During one of my circuit tours in 2002, I stopped in Quito to see our local agent - A South Carolinian expat making a good living down in Ecuador. I go to his office which lies in a nondescript building in Downtown Quito (which the DEA occupies two full floors, BTW).

(Not his real office, though it was just as gloomy)

I sit down with him and start talking shop – Requirement for Mortar Rounds, Spare parts for Rifles, etc. then all of a sudden he blurts: “In an hour this gentleman from the Galápagos Wildlife Conservancy” is dropping-in to put down a purchase order. (Sweet, I thought – This will be the first sale I’ve ever made to Greenpeace type tree-huggers).

(Giddy-up I said)

At the appointed time our client shows-up (a professional hunter from New Zealand hired by the Galápagos Wildlife Conservancy to lead their feral Pig and Goat eradication program in the islands). He was affable, yet all business; not the alfalfa sprout eating winnie I was expecting. He came with tear-sheets in hand. Telling me: “I want to buy this – this – and that”. “I expect to be shooting 8-hours a day from the side of a helicopter, and I need working tools that will be highly accurate and easy to sling for the long days work”. As the good order-taker that I am, I promptly jotted down the data, and closed on the deal shortly after my return to Maryland.

Months latter, the bang-sticks arrive at our office, along with all their corresponding bells-and whistles. I have to admit, I didn’t physically hold them, as they were all beautifully giftwrapped in their Pelican Cases. Once their State Department DSP-5’s came in, the friendly UPS delivery guy picked them-up and on they went on their merry way. So much for the quirky deal of “Assault” Rifles to Save The Earth.

That was also the trip in which I came to appreciate the architectural value of having handrails on restroom stalls.  But for that story, you will all have to wait to see what happens when The City of Quito, Sushi, and a Hungry 'Rican all converge in yet another butt-ugly scene.

SECOND WARNING: Video below must NOT be viewed by Goat Lovers. You are all forewarned
Last Chance to avert thine eyes:
Then, 11-years latter the following video comes to my attention. And who’s featured in it?
-Wait – but that’s the Kiwi whom I met in Quito!
-And he’s hanging from a helicopter as he told me he was going to!
-And those are MY bang-sticks.
-My very own rifles that sat on our warehouse in Maryland!
-And for God’s sake The HUMANITY!

-Goats – Goats, They are no more.



You're not fully recovered, are you? You can take the man out of the Bidness, but you can't entirely take the Bidness out of the man....  ; ) 
 Didn't they do this on one of the Channel Islands that the Navy used for a target range, and they went in and mowed the goats down so they wouldn't become victims of bombardment when naval gunfire and aircraft bombs hit the island?

I guess they couldn't get all those Billy Goats to wear condoms, eh? Believe it or not, birth control was suggested for the Channel Islands goats before the Nature Conservancy (IIRC) finally said that they had to be "humanely" euthanized before being (one supposes) inhumanely killed by Navy kabooming.
Yes a New Zealander would have the experience. My bother on a fishing trip to NZ reported them shooting deer from choppers. The deer were imported many years ago and have no natural enemies. No daily bag limit and 70 million sheep competitors.
Consider also the plight of Australia... with 750,000 wild camels wreaking havoc upon the landscape.
 The Armorer should dock Boq's pay for talking about killing furry wee beasties again.
 I just chose to ignore him rather than go all Kirk (or Spock, depending on how old you are) on his Khan Noonian Singh azz.
Yeah - This post was bound to create a certain underlying tension at The Castle.  The stuff I ran into you just couldn't make-up.  Remind me of someday telling you how Italian BoomBoom Candy going to the Israelis from the UAE via Aniston Ala, once *er* dented Celine Dions Yaght
But how do I miss Da Bidnezz.
If that boom-boom stuff went through Anniston, it also probly picked up all kinds of nasty extra chemical goodies. You must tell more! But aside from that, you are causing me to reminisce with great morosity over my own Old Days, O Boqi...