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DEFCON, TORCON, STORMCON, FARTCON...

...from an email:

"I saw the comments on John’s blog yesterday where someone asked when we started naming storms (Nemo, etc.). The next commenter posted that “we” didn’t, it is just the Weather Channel. I just saw on Maggie’s Farm where they said, “Defcon 7 storm of massive doom…”. I’m glad to see I am not alone in thinking TWC is being rather ridiculous in their attempt to name storms other than hurricanes, which are named by some official agency somewhere. This all seemed to start when TWC began using the term “TORCON”, short for Tornado Condition, to issue a numerical prediction of the chance of a tornado occurring in a certain area. Of course, it must be spoken only with a serious look on your face and in a deep voice. Last night I saw they are now using “STORMCON” which I assume is the same for storms.

In this vein, I have decided here at the house, after I eat cabbage, kraut, beans, or anything with lots of fiber that I will issue the appropriate FARTCON warning. Since I had oatmeal with oat bran, along with my usual three teaspoons of Metamucil this morning, I am currently under a FARTCON of 6/10. Mike, this might be an appropriate warning system for your use also, just trying to look after your welfare and those of your family and associates."

It is FARTCON 2 locally.

3 Comments

FARTCON.  Been there, done that.   I remember when several of the staff officers and NCOs in the 1/22 FA TOC would all smoke pipes out in the field, each with different flavors of pipe tobacco.  After several days of this and eating constipating C rats, being crammed together in that small space, it was a FARTEX, alright.  Whew ..... nasty!
 
The Weather Channel continues to lose credibility on a daily basis; deservedly so.  The naming of winter stormns is just another example of their childish attempts to mask the fact they've no idea what the weather will be.  Grow up.
 
FARTCON begs a secondary alert which would be SMELLCON.