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The Vagueries of International Romance

The only cow in a small town in Ireland stopped giving milk.

The townsfolk did some online searching and found they could buy a cow quite cheaply in Scotland. So they did.

The Scottish cow was a wonderful cow, producing lots of milk every day, and everyone in town was happy.

Then, they bought a bull to mate with the Scottish cow to get more cows, so they'd never have to worry about their milk supply again.

They put the bull in the pasture with the cow, but whenever the bull tried to mount the cow, the cow would move away.

No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move away from the bull and he was never able to accomplish his mission.

The people were very upset and decided to go to the vet in the neighboring town, since he was reputed to be a very wise man, tell him what was happening, and ask his advice.

"Doc, whenever our bull tries to mount our cow, she moves away. If he approaches from the back, she moves forward. If he approaches her from the front, she backs off. If he attempts from the one side, she walks away to the other side."

The vet rubbed his chin thoughtfully and pondered this before asking, "Did you, by chance, buy this cow in Scotland?"

The people were dumbfounded, since no one had ever mentioned that they had brought the cow over from Scotland .

"You are truly a wise vet," they said. "How did you know we got the cow from Scotland?"

The vet replied with a distant look in his eye, "My wife is from Scotland..."

29 Comments

Good thing you are OCONUS. The Scots around here might try to target you for a little Gunner Zen.
 
Whatever for? I *said* the Scottish cow was a wonderful cow, didn't I?
 
First he hits us with bad jokes...OK, can live with that. But then..THEN he teases us with the promise of a Whatziss and when we try to open it, we find:  We are sorry but the page that you were looking for could not be found. If you think this is an error then please contact the webmaster so that we can correct the problem. Otherwise you might be interested in viewing our most recent blog entries here.


Makes you understand why this is Castle Argghhh!
 
Those very same farmers were my neighbors in Ireland. We knew all about that family and their history. During War One, the old man went into a cow-byre in the field and was surprised to see his soldier son, who supposedly was fighting in France, sitting on a stool and milking a cow.

The farmer said:  'Shouldn't you be at the front?'

The son answered:  'Now Da, I haven't forgotten where the cow has her milk." 
 
And, Joe - you can't blame *me* for Bill's jokes....
 
Well, we CAN, it just won't do any good.
 
Joke? *What* joke?
 
Well, better to focus on the joke than the unusual-for-you spelling/usage error.
 
I don't know why those kidnappers and their accomplice didn't ask ME why I wasn't in the mooooood. I just didn't like the bull. Besides, he had a ring in his nose. 
 
But now the poor villagers are on the horns of a dilemma...
 
Hadrian's Wall was built in case a Haggis ever came to life.
 
Hey, I dont have any beef with Bill's post.

 
Argent's comment is an insightful look into Roman history.
 
Have we milked this one dry of puns already?
 
 We've only skimmed it. Thus far, no cream has risen.

Cheers
 
See?  Heinrichs is still churning 'em out...
 
 You cud do butter than that. No bull.
 
 There's plenty of BS out here for Bill. You'll understand the cow's point of view. Let the games begin-
 

  So the local kid comes hom from college. He's all proud of his degree in Animal Husbandry. Arriving at his dad's Maine dairy farm, he notices a new cow in the pasture. He's a bit puzzled by it's appearance and asks his dad what type of cow it is. His dad replies: "it's a heifer."

 Now, the son KNOWS it isn't a heifer, so he ask again, saying perhaps it's a type of Guernsey?  That dad replies that, no... it's a heifer. This goes on for a bit as the kid ticks off all the different cow types. Finally worn out, he throws up his hands and says "You win, dad. I give up. It isn't this and isn't that, but it sure doesn't look like a heifer. Just what type of cow IS that?"

  His dad looks him square and says, "of course it's a heifer, ya darned fool. It's hef' mine, and hef' yer cousins!"

 
 

  Did ya hear the one about the cow that got caught up trying to jump the barb wire fence?

  It was an udder catastrophe.......
 
The last time I heard this joke it was a wise Rabbi whose wife was from Mintz ...  but maybe he lived in Scotland ...

Since everyone on this blog owns and shoots guns, I am too cowed to correct anyone's jokes ...
 
 I'm sure Bill is sitting wheresoever he is laughing at the mess he kicked up. My computer groaned as soon as I signed onto Argghhh and so had to see why.

SKK, if you have a pan of Deflagrating Lasagna, I'll take one. You can hold the detonator.
 
Q'master, you got it! Just so long as I don't have to fill out any customs forms or go through DHS screening, it's good to go!  : D 
 
 SKK: I agree with you and Q'master about Bill's mess, but I also believe the laughter is the best medicine for all of us.

But there's an issue, I always thought you looked forward to the customs forms, but even more than that, your beloved DHS screening, with a long armed 'calfing glove'.  : D
 
Did something just happen? I thought I saw SKK doubled over in hysterics.... 
 
How do you see *anything* with that coiffure?
 
"Ooooooooooooooh saaaaaay...can you seeeeee....my eyyyyyes....if you can....then my hair's too short!"

Shamelessly stolen from a song, I hoped to forget long ago, by the Cowsills.
 
Hey - what's going on with the cow? I just heard her muttering something about a picture, and she was making a whole lot of little patties and loading them into a catapult. I'm not even going to say what the bull was doing....
 
Being a counselor myself, I appreciate your blog post. Thanks.