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The ABCs of ageing...

A is for apple and B is for boat, that used to be right, but now it won't float!
Age before beauty is what we once said, but let's be a bit more realistic instead.

Now The Alphabet:
A's for arthritis; B's the bad back, C's the chest pains, perhaps car-di-ac?
D is for dental decay and decline, E is for eyesight, can't read that top line!
F is for fissures and fluid retention, G is for gas which I'd rather not mention.
H is high blood pressure--I'd rather it low; I for incisions with scars you can show.
J is for joints, out of socket, won't mend, K is for knees that crack when they bend.
L's for libido, what happened to sex? M is for memory, I forget what comes next.
N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low; O is for osteo, bones that don't grow!
P for prescriptions, I have quite a few, just give me a pill and I'll be good as new!
Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu? R is for reflux, one meal turns to two.
S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears, T is for Tinnitus; bells in my ears!
U is for urinary; troubles with flow; V for vertigo, that's 'dizzy,' you know..
W for worry, now what's going 'round? X is for X ray, and what might be found.
Y for another year I'm left here behind, Z is for zest I still have-- in my mind!

I've survived all the symptoms, my body's deployed, and I'm keeping twenty-six doctors fully employed!

Heh.  You youngsters just  wait.  This is you a heckuva lot sooner than you think!

If you hated this, send your hatemail to JimC, who sent it along to me!


Sounds too much like my life! 
**DANG KIDS!!** I hear that John feels like he is coming unscrewed, not to worry, Government will take care of it. Don't worry, Government will cover your back **REAL CLOSELY!** Take it from an OLD PHART, there is no comfortable position.  8^)

Thanks, John!
Got the T-shirt....  Still, it beats the alternative.
 One of his old 42nd Division troops, asked MacArthur, while he was in Walter Reed, how it felt to be old. He responded, "given my date of birth, pretty good."

I don't quite resemble to remark, but at 56, I'm closing in on a lot of it.
In the immortal words of Bette Davis: "Old age is no place for sissies."
Qm, and Armorer, I'm a bit ahead of y'all on the path, as y'all know. All I have to say to you two, is, "Kids, these days!'