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In light of John's recent post...

...on the ABC's of Aging, and since there are a whole friggin' boatload several Castle residents who have passed the mid-century mark, I'd just like to offer this cautionary tale as a helpful reminder to anyone planning to visit the doc for a checkup (do that fast, before ObamaCare kicks in, cuz chances are your present doc will have switched to a more lucrative line of work, such as panhandling):

An ol' guy (I'll call him Bob, because I can) goes for a physical. All of his tests come back with normal results.

The doctor says, "Okay, Bob, everything looks great . How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?"

Bob replies, "God and I are tight, Doc. He knows I have poor night vision now that I am older, so he's fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, *poof!* The light goes on. When I'm done, *poof!* The light goes off."

"Wow, that's incredible," the doctor says.

A little later in the day, the doctor calls Bob's wife and says, "Bob is doing fine! But I had to call you because I'm in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night, and *poof!* the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he's done, *poof!* the light goes off?"

"Oh, good grief!" exclaims the missus. "He's peeing in the refrigerator again!"
_________________________________________________________

Heh. Tip o' the scratched and dented SPH-4 to Doc Eric -- who got smart and retired already.

11 Comments

Ha. I reckon I'm at that stage when these things lose some of their humor value. Not that I've ever done something like that. Yet.  

Speaking of docs. we are seeing some interesting developments down here in the Old South - my long-term primary guy sent notice earlier in the year that he is turning into a concierge plan practice, if I want to stay with him  (and I was "invited" to), then I have to pay a $1,500 yearly fee. Which provides me with "24-hour, 365-day access to his services, and no more co-payments." Which I already have, and co-payments equal about $40 a year at this point. Then we went looking for a new doc, and it seems that more than half the ones we contacted are doing the same thing, and most of the others are not accepting new patients. 

I guess the specter of Obamacare is already having an impact. We finally got in with a doc with a new practice, a former Army surgeon, in fact. 

 

A tale told about a friend in the third person.  

 
Why, yes, Mizz Cricket -- Bob *is* one of our mutual friends. He even comments here from time to time, usually after V29 gives him a prod...
 
Oh, wow. :D I think I need to send this to Grandpa.
 
I already got it, Saker, that's why I posted it.

And stop calling me Grandpa.
 
 I see Saker touched a nerve Bill. Age is like a rifle bullet, you can run from it, but you'll just die tired.
 
 To: BillT, Hi Gramps, just wait until all of the kids reach that magical age of 50. When you hear the Doc say something like this, “We need to look into this.” Guys, you're in for a surprise. I'll admit my doctor had a real sense of humor. After my 50th birthday, I had my physical. Now, I have known this same doctor for about 15 years. The first thing he did was to tell me strip from the waist down. As I was doing this, he reached over and grabbed a glove, but something didn't look right. He told me to relax and I was going to get, in slang terms, “the fickle finger”. But this clown grabbed a long handled  “calfing glove”,the same type that a veterinarian would use to deliver a calf. When I saw this I quickly pull everything up and sat down. I telling that I'm not moving, until he gets the right glove.  He gets the right glove and I submit to the procedure and yes, I was Grumpy. Then we had a little surprise, during the next week, I would be getting the beloved colonoscopy. Yes, I hated it, but I hated the night before, even more. Kids, you have a lot to look forward to, enjoy  it.

Well, Gramps, how did I do, do I get it right?   
 
Too funny.
Everyone thinks I'm nuts for laughing so hard.
 
...you can run from it, but you'll just die tired.

Who runs at my age? That jogging stuff will kill you quicker than natural causes will...

 
I just emailed a link to this post to my pastor.  I think he's weird enough to appreciate it. He is totally Irish, but Anglican.  It is a weird small church to which I belong, run out of Rwanda, of all places. Anglican Mission in the Americas, it's called. We have a good mix of traditional ritual and the charismatic stuff.  I will admit that the music mostly sucks, what with the Newage (rhymes with sewage) hippy chick Baptist copyrighted "art" music, and the electrical amplification, but at least the recessional at the last service I attended was something a man could sing wholeheartedly.
 
P.s. I am right  annoyed about how they got all "artistic" with Amazing Grace, which got me all angry and grumpy when I was supposed to be getting myself ready for Communion.