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I.Do.Not.Like!

By The Armorer on January 14, 2011 | | Comments (28)


I.do.not.like this thing called gout.
It makes me want to scream and shout!
Except the friggin' pain's so great,
I dare not move nor bloviate!

I.do.not.like this thing called gout.
And all the goodies I must cut out.
Yet being good  is all in vain
They change your meds, you writhe in pain!

I.do.not.like this painful blight.
That creeps up on me in the night.
Like little imps with little picks
It chips my bones in tiny bits.

I.do.not.like.this hateful curse
While not fatal, there's not much worse.
No respite from the crushing pain
'Til SWWBO comes back home again.

I.do.not.like. this cursed gout!
It makes me want to scream and shout!
Then SWWBO strides so stately in -
She brings the blessed Indocin®!

My foot looks like a big fat wurst
But the pain is gone - that goes first!
That uric acid is still there...
Waiting to catch me unaware!




Fooey.




I.do.not.like this thing called gout.

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28 Comments

By DL Sly on January 14, 2011 2:13 PM
My empathies.  I hope you start feeling and doing better soon.
0>;~}
 
By vermindust on January 14, 2011 2:47 PM
I miss bacon.  And turkey.  And anchovies. 
"And all the goodies I must cut out."
 
By Fishmugger on January 14, 2011 3:51 PM
Hey John, because of my kidney stones which are caused by gout, my doctor prescribed Allopurinol. Anti uric acid. Yippee, that and some Advil and no real pain. Ok I walk with a limp now and then but it's better then passing boulders.
 
By John of Argghhh! on January 14, 2011 3:57 PM
I was on Allopurinol, FM, until we figured out that in concert with other meds in my pharmacopaeia, something had to be removed from the mix, and the allopurinol was the choice.  I've really been in good shape - last major attack was in '07.  Since Indo has a relatively short shelf-life, that's why I was caught short.  Indo's not good with my other meds, either, but  just curling up in a ball and vibrating mewling like a distressed kitten makes the dog nervous and SWWBO queasy, so I take the Indo. 

It was a change in BP meds that most likely precipitated the attack.  Body chemistry is a finicky thing.
 
By og on January 14, 2011 4:14 PM
I'm on Allopurinol but it doesn't seem to have much effect. I also don't have "traditional" gout flareups. I Do know that If I eat gallons of frozen cherries from Trader Joes the symptoms I DO get, go away.
 
By J.M. Heinrichs on January 14, 2011 6:20 PM
Drink Old Bushmills; that Jamisons is bad for you.

Cheers
 
By Ron Snyder on January 14, 2011 6:56 PM
I thought that only Royalty got Gout.
 
By Attila on January 14, 2011 7:19 PM
Makers Mark...works for me.

Seriously though, dumb question: how much water do you drink? Same question to FM.

People on the ramp think we're weird when we step into our "offices" with a cooler full of bottled water. The dehydration that occurs at FL350+ over a period of 8-13 hours leads to both ailments in commercial aviators so we suck on those things constantly (at least one an hour and if your urine has any color whatsoever, you're dehydrated to some degree and your body's telling you to pound some more Aych-too-oh). Might help, might not. But everybody can drink more water...really.
 
By Mark Matis on January 14, 2011 9:14 PM
Hey, it's HIS friggin' CASTLE!  Why on earth would you not think he is Royalty?
}:-]
 
By Justthisguy on January 14, 2011 11:17 PM
So, Sir, whaddaya think of Doctor Fell?
 
By John of Argghhh! on January 14, 2011 11:33 PM

Attila - the med that is the perceived culprit is... a diuretic.  Clearly, I didn't compensate enough.

 
By Oldloadr on January 15, 2011 12:30 AM
I use Indocid, as well. I have found that if I keep some in the house and take it at the first twinge, the gout doesn't debilitate me like it did the first couple of attacks. I know there is a maintenance med that you take all the time, but it's hard on your liver and my liver is under enough stress as it is.

I know it affects different people differently, but my biggest triggers are all the color Red: red wine, red meat, tomatoes. As far as my gout, pork is the other white meat, doesn't bother me at all. Dehydration can exacerbate the situation (sucks being in the desert on those days).
 
By steveeas on January 15, 2011 7:11 AM
Special kind of pain ain't it? 
 
By Ron Snyder on January 15, 2011 7:49 AM
Good Point Mark!
 
By John of Argghhh! on January 15, 2011 8:48 AM
Loadr - My last major event (all the younglings are long bored and gone, aren't they?) was in 07.  I haven't had a twinge since - and since Indocin has a shelf life, mine (not much left) was years old and no refills on the 'script.  Now I have a brand, shiny new 'script, with three refills, good for a year, and the Doc and I agree we won't do this again.  I'm her first patient with gout.  She's a younger doc, treating generally younger patients - this was just a hole in her experience. 

I don't think she really understood the level of pain - until SWWBO showed up at the clinic saying "Gimme da 'script!"
 
By NevadaSteve on January 15, 2011 9:44 AM
Fortunately I've missed out on the gout. I have diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and a bad hip but the gout has passed me by. I take so many pills in the morning I have to split the pile of pills into two piles because I can't swallow them all at once.

I used to be pretty cocky about my health - until about five years ago I was healthy as a horse, even if way overweight. Now I sing a different tune, take care of yourself while you can or you will pay the price.

Here's hoping things improve.
 
By Oldloadr on January 15, 2011 10:05 AM
The one upside of life in the UAE is I can talk the pharmacist into giving me the Indocid without the script. I keep 2 doses in my desk at work as well for when that twinge comes.

I don't think any body understands the level of pain until they experience it. I tell folks that my vasectomy and reconnection together can't compare. All of my broken bones together don't compare. After those two statements, usually the listener's eyes are bugging out and you can see that either they can't process how you could say that about your big toe or they are now scarred for life wondering when their own toe is going to start to get that twinge, then the ache, then the pain so intense that you can't stand for the window to be open and the wind blow across it.

Hope you get better soon!

Cheers!
 
By Cricket on January 15, 2011 11:49 AM
My father suffered from it.  Cherries.  Lots of cherries.  And cherry juice.  It helps drain the uric acid from the kidneys and the tissues.  The pain and swelling was so bad he would just barely make it to the chair and collapse.  Cherries, or the juice, usually eased the greatest discomfort within a couple of hours.  Do you have kidney stones?
 
By darby Shaw on January 15, 2011 12:16 PM
I havent had a bout for quite some time but about a month ago I started to feel an attack coming on. Of course I was out of meds but I looked online for natural cures and I found that copious amounts of blueberries and bananas immediately stopped it in its tracks.
 
By Quartermaster on January 15, 2011 3:07 PM
 Your urine will be a pale yellow if you are properly hydrated. If it is clear you are over hydrated. I just like drinking water and I usually stay over hydrated in the summer. I can take a drink and have to void within 20-30 minutes. If I'm normally hydrated I'll go about every 90-120 minutes.

Exceptions to the color will be found if you are  taking large doses of vitamin C, or B complex. B complex will turn your urine almost fluorescent yellow.
 
By jim b on January 15, 2011 3:24 PM
Dood! You must really be hurting.... nowhere in this poem was any mention of weapons of any kind.

Heal! Heal! Heal!
 
By prestonious on January 15, 2011 5:10 PM
Armorer - I loaned all of the willpower and stamina that I used in 2010 off to our ship loving friend in beantown. Otherwise it would all be yours. You have the power of many standing by your side. Get better!!
 
By Justthisguy on January 15, 2011 5:50 PM
Dang! Nobody remarked on my literary allusion!
 
By SFC D on January 15, 2011 6:53 PM
JTG;

I seriously LOL'd when I read your comment, that was one of my mom's (MRS LTC D) favorite poems.  Had to work a little to remember it.  No gout here but I do have a raging case of CRS.  "I do not like thee, Dr. Fell..."
 
By htom on January 15, 2011 6:54 PM
Sorry to hear you're in pain, and hope you get better soon.

(Had a shot of the 18 year Laphroaig this afternoon. So smooth I wondered if he'd grabbed the right bottle.)
 
By LarryK on January 16, 2011 12:39 AM
Many Docs seem to either be hesitant to use or don't know about colchicine. It has some side effects so it isn't like popping an aspirin but I have had the Allo and Indo and believe me they are MUCH slower to bring relief.  Over use of colchicine can be toxic ... but for an occasional use for flare ups when you are willing to consider amputation like that guy in the canyon it can bring some relief in less than 24 hours ... maybe less than 12. And it "flushes" the uric acid right out of the body. Everyone seems to have their own food triggers. I limit intake of some meats, most nuts (cashews and almonds seem OK to me) and if I get too much caffeine I am in trouble. Tea is the worst. Exercise seems to help. I hope you get to feeling better. We both know that if you could MAKE someone get gout it would be the most effective interrogation tool ever.  And I love the poem ... keeping it!
 
By John of Argghhh! on January 16, 2011 6:41 AM
I did not comment, JTG
On allusions literary
For unlike the fell Doctor Fell
Why I hate gout, I told full well!

Plus, I'd never heard of it before.

Larry - I've used colchicine before, but the Indo works to kill the pain within hours.  Allopurinol is a preventative, so you're supposed to take it all the time.  There's even a regimen for very low-dose colchicine if you find yourself in the hell of chronic gout.  The problem for me is my mixture of issues and related pharma - we look for solutions (aside from the obvious - prevention!) that have the least interaction with other stuff I take, and produces the least amount of stress on the poor system trying to filter it all out.

My liver is a trouper, but has limits.  My kidneys are tough little beans, but we don't want to test them any more than we already are.
 
By Maggie on January 17, 2011 3:31 PM
Wow!  All I do is whine, but this is art.

(Thank you Prestonious)