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Saturday Soliloquy

WHAT A REAL WOMAN DOES

A real woman is a man's best friend.

She will never stand him up and never let him down.

She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day.

She will inspire him to do things he never thought he could do; to live without fear and forget regret.

She will enable him to express his deepest emotions and give in to his most intimate desires.

She will make sure he always feels as though he's the most handsome man in the room and will enable him to be the most confident, sexy, seductive, and invincible. . .

No wait....

Sorry...I'm thinking of beer.

That's what beer does.

Sorry.
____________________________________________________

 And a tip o' the dented steel pot to Don P, whose wife states that he's recovering nicely and should be transferred from the ICU to a semi-private room within the week...

24 Comments

Not beer. Tequila.
I'm going to read this again when I'm sober, and maybe it will make more sense.

Best wishes to Don P. Recover quickly. :)
 
Bill, you bastard! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! (pause) Ow! Ow! Ow!
 
Saker is obviously a very weird person, which means she'll fit right in in this here weird place. The question is, can she fit into the Armed Forces of the USA?  Let us all help her to "act normal" and not attract adverse attention from the higher-ups.  If she and we are sneaky enough, I betcha we can get her some serious promotions.  We need to get her a commission, to start with. 
 
...and maybe it will make more sense.

Don't count on it. Remember, *I* thought it was funny.

Bill, you bastard!

A foul canard! My parents were *both* over eighteen.

And be careful what you say about Saker. She *joined* the Army because she'd be able to play with 'splodey things.
 
I like 'splodey things, that's why I got married.

I can understand Bill's time stamp, given he's about 8 hours ahead of EST. Saker too, as she may be out of teh country. But, JTG, don't you get ay sleep?

That dent in Don's steel pot must not have been too deep if he's recovering nicely.
 
Saker was just up late celebrating Friday night.

I was just getting an early start.

Jtg thought it was noon with a really great solar eclipse going on...
 
And no, JTG gets little to no sleep.  You can tell by what he says and how he says it...  The hamsters in his head never get off the wheel and exist on caffeine.
 
Waaaayyydaminit!  Who was it just a few days ago bitchin' and threatenin' new body art carvings due to a lack of beer??  Methinks something stinks around here and it ain't the dog fart.  Well, it might be....who knew turkey gizzards and dog food could create such a weapon of gas disruption?


"And a tip o' the dented steel pot to Don P, whose wife states that he's recovering nicely and should be transferred from the ICU to a semi-private room within the week..."

A week?  Only a week??
pheh
Obviously not a Marine wife.
0>;~}
 
Right. You feed the pooch giblets and kibble and you're *surprised* at the gastro-intestinal eructationosity?

Don flew starched-wing -- his wife took it easy on him because she knows he's fragile...
 
Okay, I'm back for my sober assessment of this post.

1. Women are MUCH more awesome than beer. Men may NOT be quite as awesome as tequila.
2. JTG, threaten me with a commission again... I'll leave the rest to your imagination.
3. Also, the weird is probably you, not me. No offense. :D

 
Agreed on #1, Saker.  :D
 
Well, in all honesty, usually the dogs sleep outside after meals like that.  But now that the terrorist cell has been reduced f rom four to one -- and a blind one at that -- it just doesn't seem right to leave her outside alone.

Oh, and beeeerrrr.
heh
0>:~}
 
Agreed on #1, Saker.

Huh. Hadn't figured you for a tequila fan, FuzzyBee.

You have a vicious streak, Lady Sly.

Which is why we luvs ya...

 
Hmm. Wife, other good women, good beer, good tequila, bad tequila, bad beer, bad women. Bad women may be ahead of bad beer, but otherwise that's it. In My Arrogant Male Opinion.

Heal well and quickly, Don P.
 
 
I have more sense than to threaten anyone with a commission. Warrant status, perhaps. You know, NCO with O-club card. Just ask BillT for the requisite career counseling.
 
J.M., YOU EVILLL person. Oh, I do need a dose of optic STB for that link........the pain the paiin!!!!!!!!!
 
And here I thought it might end with Mr. Bill saying something very sweet and sentimental about his wife.

I should have known better than to expect something like that here at the Castle...
 
Sentimental? Wassat?
 
Oh, Armorer, I bet you'll be happy to know that I've caught up on my sleep.  I went to bed early last night, woke up about 0700 and had a cheese and onion sandwich for breakfast. I then went back to sleep and woke again about 1400, from a very creepy dream.  So, now, I figure I'm good to go until 0600 Monday, at the least.
 
Raw onions will do that to ya, JTG.  The creepy dreams.  The other stuff they do to you cause suffering in others...
 
Hey, if it keeps 'em from getting close to me...
 
P.s.  I had a pew to mahself in church last night. Easy thing to do when you're a tiny group and borrowing someone else's church.  I'll have y'all know that I do participate in exchanging the Peace, but only as far as handshakes.  No hugs, please, and kissin' is right out.
 
Oh, Saker, no offense taken.  As the saying goes, "When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro."