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Getting Inside The OODA Loop

From last night's e-mail flurry:

Me to John:
Dunno what the story is, but about 90% of them stopped shooting right after I decided to try to catch the audio. Most of the action sounded like it was at [redacted].
(vid of pitch blackness with sound track of various and sundry automatic/semiautomatic weapons with my melifluous narration as an attachment)
John to me:
Yer never gonna make it on CNN with stuff like this, boyo!
Hey, the Prez told us there wasn't a war there anymore, so, this is like 'bangers in the hood, right?
Me to John:
Yeah, I need to get all breathless an' sh*t.
It wasn't a wedding -- not enough tracers -- but it may have been some of Saddam's leftover mafia trying to make a point.
"See? We chased the Crusaders out!"
The AC-208 has been circling the area for the past 10 minutes...

Now, for your additional information and edification --
  • Barcelona took Madrid 5-zip, and there are a lot of Barcelona fans here.
  • The "Incoming!" klaxon sounded a half hour after the shooting started.
  • The "All Clear" sounded while the shooting was still going on.
  • And this morning, there were controlled dets going boom every 20 minutes.

So, with that additional information, can you Junior G-2 guys figure out what happened?

I did...

First of all, whenever there's a major sporting event, or a wedding, or an election, there's "celebratory fire" -- anybody with a bang-stick starts blowing holes in the sky.

And everybody over here has a bang-stick.

The dirtbags figured they'd attack last night under cover of all the feu de joie going on.

The good guys figured that's exactly what the dirtbags would do, and so they watched and waited for suspicious activity around the usual launching sites.

One ground scout spotted the dirtbags scooting back to their hidey-hole rocket factory, and informed the strike force, which assaulted the building once they were sure said lowlife scuzzballs were all inside.

That was the firefight noise I sent John, btw.

When the dust and smoke and all the flying lead settled, the dirtbags had been killed or captured, and the Naqshabandi version of Monster Garage had been swept.

And the engineers have been satisfying their 'splodey joneses by destroying all the rockets that now *won't* be heading our way some night...



You still won't make it on CNN with that shite, though.
So, why would I want to take a step *down* on the journalistic ladder?
Because if you're willing to park your self-respect at the door, the pay is better?
Excellent! Hopefully this will help keep your latrine from being blown away again.
It wasn't *my* latrine, Saker -- it was the *ladies'* latrine in the Mod across from mine.

Just how hard *have* you been hitting the tequila this past month?
...the pay is better?

They get *paid* to do that?

Yeah, amazin', ainnit?

Saker does seem to be having some short-term memory problems, eh?  Must be because she has to make room in her skull for all the Important Stuff they're shoving at her. 

Which people in-theater will shake their heads at as being wildly OBE (unless TRADOC has gotten much better at keeping up).
Nice object lesson in OODA-looping.  *High five* to the good guys.

As for the bad guys...

whenever there's a major sporting event, or a wedding, or an election, there's "celebratory fire"
and... The dirtbags figured they'd attack last night under cover of all the feu de joie going on.

That's the reason I *never* attend our own homeland displays of celebratory fire... I'd be too busy watching the crowd to enjoy the fireworks... 
Only thing TRADOC is good at keeping up is -- well, back in August, they wanted us to go through an ARMS (for the normals, an Aviation Resource Management Survey -- a fancy term for a MACOM-level -- oh, all right, a MAjor COMmand -- inspection).

Over here. In Iraq. Not stateside.

And we don't even remotely fall under TRADOC to begin with.
And we don't even remotely fall under TRADOC to begin with.

Yeah. I was gonna ask about that...

"Over here. In Iraq. Not stateside."

That means that it's all peace and love there now right?  Have lythe young girls placed daisis in the rifle muzzles, yet?  No?  Wow, how could TRADOC get the timing wrong?

BTW,  I lost the ceiling light in my hooch from a spent round in 2005 when Iraq won an international soocer match (I think it was against Portugal). 

My chair is gonna get leaked on when the rains start up.

Soooooooooo glad I wasn't sitting in it at the time.
Oh, c'mon, Bill.  D'you need a restock of 100mph tape?
Ever try to climb onto the roof of one of these OCONUS pre-fabs?

I'd put a bigger hole in it just by *looking* at it within a foot of the eaves...
Um, tape it from the *inside*?

Do I have to do *everything* for you, old man?

Gee, what a novel concept.

I'll let you know when I've finished burrowing through the five feet of non-standard wiring suspended, arcing and sparking, from the rafters.

There's a *reason* people get electrocuted inside these things, yanno.

My office had 105vDC running live through the walls for four months. Had to open the door with gloves on.
Man, yer nuthin' but excuses today, yanno?
He's an Aviator, John. Did you expect anything different? Next time, tell his Crew Chief. He'll get it done.
Man, yer nuthin' but excuses today, yanno?

Well, d-uhhhh -- contractor.


"They get *paid* to do that? ... Well, d-uhhhh -- contractor."

And you get *paid* to do that!
 Bill,  Ahhh, now I get it, You claim that the rain made your chair wet. I don't think the rain had anything to do with it. BTW, the 'wet' is an excellent conductor of electricity, better than water. If you don't think so ask, the pup who decided to 'mark' a post with an electrified fence. He saw all of the 'Shock and Awe", that he ever wanted to see and then some.
This dang class had better be good for SOMETHING downrange, otherwise I'll end up even more clueless than usual. At least we're training for an Afghanistan scenario. All my previous training has been Iraq.

Really, don't you know the way to fix a leaky roof is to string a blue tarp over it? Bungee it down and you're golden.
I know this because we did it to our camper all the way up to Alaska and back. The most entertaining part was watching the looks we got when we put it up (we did this from the underside of the tarp, because it was raining most of the time).
So, Bill, do you need me to send you a tarp?
And you get *paid* to do that!

And I'm doing what I get paid for. The Air Force gets paid to fix the roof. Last time I turned off a breaker to stop the overhead light from smoking, I got yelled at and told I should have submitted a work request to the englineers.

So, Bill, do you need me to send you a tarp?

Got a poncho, but thanks, OH.

"... told I should have submitted a work request to the englineers."

Could be worse.  When I worked for MWR (now MCCS) as (the only) beach maintenance for the cabanas at Onslow Beach I was *required* to submit work requests for plumbing, electrical, etc.  These I dutifully submitted to base maintenance.  Base maintenance would then send the request to the maintenance person -- at Onslow Beach.
I used to have a sign in my office that said, "I've done so much with so little for so long that now I can do anything with nothing."
I used to visit a bud who maintained an office -- it would be a blatant exaggeration to say he worked there -- at BCE on McGuire.

The sign on his desk said, "The Buck Doesn't Even Slow Down Here"...
"The Buck Doesn't Even Slow Down Here"

He actually got to *see* one?!