Bloomberg, has anyone told you...

...you are the epitome of asininity?  Well, okay, that's really a shared title by Algore and Harry Reid, but you're the third stooge in that troupe.

“If you look at the U.S., you look at who we’re electing to Congress, to the Senate—they can’t read,” he said. “I’ll bet you a bunch of these people don’t have passports. We’re about to start a trade war with China if we’re not careful here, only because nobody knows where China is. Nobody knows what China is.”
 

Ah, Nurse Bloomberg. 

Yo, bubba.  While you wouldn't nohow find me dead in the Senate 'cept in the visitors balcony thing after a heart attack from eatin' some good 'ol salty chicken fried steak with all da fixin's, I did me some votin' to send them fellers and gals (well, okay, since I don't engage in vote fraud, one guy) to that there Senate place in the cappytal.

I's had me a passport like, since, well, ferever!  Like I have four o' the dang things, only three don't work so good no more.  And they gots them stampy things in 'em from lotsa places in Urope, Af-reeka, plus that place where all teh slanty-eyed folk live - and that place where all them nanner-publics is n' stuff.  Oooo!  And that place with the reelly long river thing in it, what's got them peer-ana fish!

Funny thing there, bubba, when I goes to Urope, it's an even-numbered trip.  When I comes back ta the house, it's an odd-numbered one.

I even went to that ginormous state uneeversity and got me a degree in geographical stuffs.  Shoot, bro, not only can I read a map, I kin drawrs 'em!  So I think I knows me where the most populous country in the whole world is!  Ah kin also spells "Potemkin Village," kin you?

I gots me some books,too.  And I's even read 'em!  And I gots me wunna them there Kindle-thingys, and it's got a passel o' books in it, too!  Somes even on polyticks and some economical stuff!  It ain't all just p0rn, cuz Amazon won't sell me none a that yet.  I gots hopes though!

Shoot fire, bubba, I even went me to 'nother skool and gots wunnadem second degree thingys that says I mastered publick adminnystrayshun.

And even though ya coudn't tell it none by this here blog postin', we even owns us all 20 books of that Oxford English Dictionary, and it's actually been opened and stuff.  There's barbecue-stained pages in there - but don't worry none, they ain't stickin' together.

I prolly shouldn't mention the guns.  You'll send yer minions to try to buy 'em with straw er sumthin'.  I heerd about that!

Meh.  You'll say anything to score some good kung-pao chicken, eh?

Buffoon.