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It's all about your attitude.

Attitude matters.  This is one example.

There I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, [t]rouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig. "Well, whatcha gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly, as I burst into tears. "Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd CRY. I can`t stand to see a man crying."

"This is the worst day of my life," I say. "I'm a complete failure. I  was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my old lady in bed with the gardener and then my dog bit me." "So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all, I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in and sit here watching the poison dissolve; then you show up and drink the whole thing! But enough about me, how's your day going?"
 
And this is a better one.

regrets.jpg 
 
H/t Joe H for the verbiage.

12 Comments

There is nothing finer than a US Marine in dress blues!
OooooRAH!
0>:~}
 
That is just the best motivator ever, John.
 
I think the most telling bit about pictures like that is... the number of guys and gals like that Marine who itch to get back to the fight, rather than play the victim card like Duckworth.
 
Bikers now make roubles?  When did THAT start?
 
Rouble-making, eh? Was he a Russian biker?
 
To get serious, that Marine has the exact same facial expression I saw on a Marine around here during the last Toys for Tots thing. My guy may have had one more rocker, and looked like he still had all of his parts,  He had what Temple Grandin calls the Long Stare, which only wolves and huskies have, but not any other domestic dogs.  He seemed such a skinny kid to me, but also a dangerous bada$$.
   
I've met a few Marines.  Some current, some past.  Only one have I met who would even think of "playing the victim card," and he was a total jerk in a lot of other ways too. 
 
Sir: could you explain to me about what exactly you mean with the sigh and the dammit?
I mean, I thought I was approving of what you posted there.
 
That facial expression is pride, btw
 
JTG - because I didn't catch the typo.
 
Dang, Sir! It's less funny after you corrected the typo.  Now, looking at the corrected text de novo, so to speak, I see nuances.  It might still be funny, but require more wit to appreciate. The first version did appeal to a low level of wit.