previous post next post  

The Cone of Shame...

Meet Recruit Private Suellen.  She's still a recruit and not a full-fledged member of the Exterior Guard because she's had to recycle "Protected Castle Species" twice for mis-identifying chickens as okay-to-terminate with predjudice. She was almost summarily executed by an on-the-spot drumhead courtsmartial convened by SWWBO.  Recruit Private Suellen is on Quarters due to recent surgery performed to affect certain, um, biological imperatives, the periodic manifestation of same is known to attract undesireables and cause dissension in ranks.

cone-of-shame.jpg
She's seen here modeling the Castle uniform item of Shame, Cone of, 1 ea, Mark II w/reinforcement. A tasteful, gauzily translucent truncated cone, open at both ends and secured to the Necklace of Restraint.  Styled with delicate pinstripes to highlight the bold black stripes of the reinforcing gorilla-tape, since the hard case disciplinary problem kept removing the Mark I version, requiring a crash field-expedient PIP*.

*Product Improvement Program.  In this case, initiated at about 0300 hrs by a *very irate* SWWBO.

14 Comments

Those eyes say, "I'm really sorry.....you believe me right....but as soon as I get out of this I'm gonna do *sumpin'* -- even if it's wrong."
heh
Ya got yerselves a smart one there, and there's gonna be many times you wonder how in the hell she figured *that* out.  I empathize.  I've got one, too.  She's five now, and blind.  One would think that would temper her a little.
One would be...........WRONG!!
Good luck!
0>;~}
 
Y'all are so in trouble.  It's obvious by those eyes.
 
Well, bottom line, I'd rather have a dog than a chicken.  I understand the issues there, but I'm voting FOR the dog.
 
"Dang it, am I trouble because I did it? No, I'm in trouble because I got caught!" 
 
I'm getting a "Who, me? What did I do?" vibe from that expression.

I hope the birds are ok.

Suppose I should be glad Recruit Private Suellen wasn't in Cincinnati recently. A couple days ago one of my facebook friends posted a lovely shot of wild turkeys in her back yard. The comments became a touch dark after one fellow compared hunters to serial killers. I was not amused. ;( I tried to keep it civil, though. That was probably due to John's indoctrination, here. Heh.


 
Casey - the Sunday Morning Massacre, which resulted in 8 laying hen deaths, was what almost caused SWWBO to shoot Suellen and her since-traded-to-another-family sibling, Sissy.

Rick - the chickens are revenue generators.  The dogs - are overhead.

As for the acting ability of Recruit Private Suellen - Oscar quality.
 
Oh my.  No wonder she survived her near-death experience twice.  She has the most expressive brown eyes...but once she is trained up, she will be a good one.  I am sorry for the loss of the chickens.
 
Jake almost forgot his position in the food chain when he was about a year old and decided that a couple of mallardlings might be tasty.

One nanosecond after I said, "Jake!" he was wondering how he'd wound up upside-down, twenty feet from the fuzzballs and ten feet behind me.

550 cord has a multitude of uses...
 
I was actually able to talk mah kitteh into leaving the (very rare and decorative around here) Gray Squirrels alone, in favor of grabbing the local Palm Rats.  He loved him some huge Cuban Anoles, too, who have pretty gut colors.  He is since retired, and relies on me and Purina.
 
P.s. As I think I've mentioned before, here and elswhere,  If one lives in Atlanta, the Gray Squirrel is the Enemy. He'll eat your house.  All methods of squirrel control are permissible.  Just don't get caught.
 
Aww geez... how do you get mad at that face?

"I so sowwy..."
 
Sorry, about the loss of the hens and their role in the Castle's economy. The hens can be replaced, but so can the pup. This is not an event, but rather a pattern of behavior. As this pup grows, so will her perception of prey, up to and including, humans. This pup is standing in need of a *Radical Attitude Adjustment*. If nothing works in this pup, to your satisfaction, you may have no other choice. "The Chief of Saigon Police Solution" may be your only option. Her new MOS: Pushing Daises.
 
No, Grumpy - she'd just get a rehab transfer to another family, like her sister did.  She just may not be Castle material - so we'd send her to the minors.
 
John, I hope it works, for the pup, the rehab family and finally, for the Castle's Family