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Memorandum For Record

FOR: The usual occupants of the Wretched Hive of Scum and Villainy

FROM: BillT

SUBJECT: Your most recent rocket attack

1. You missed me.

2. Again.

3. Pthbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbt!




4. I hereby request that you notify me at least five minutes prior to your next predictably-futile attempt so that I can get a decent photo of the rocket in flight. John's been bugging me for an action shot suitable for use as a Whatziss.

In closing, KMA.

Bill    

30 Comments

That would make a good Whatiz?  My first guess is Russian made mortar round, around the 120mm size...  Of course, I'm just an old bomb loader and not we versed in non-aviation ordnance (except when it was coming in).
 
Katyusha from an Osama Organ, tip o the hat to Joe Steel ... _._
 
YIPES!!!!
 
Nup, it's a rocket, Oldloadr. Mortars have more fins and don't have an exhaust nozzle.

Not a Katy, OFS -- this one was a local manufacture. Shoddy workmanship, too -- they oversprayed the body and the paint dripped abominably.
 
 Waitaminit. I thought Spin Boldak was Mos Eisely, not that funny place in RC(East).......
 
There are lots of WHoSaVs scattered about the globe -- this one isn't the *most* wretched of them.

Unless they actually hit me, of course, and then I'll change the rating scheme...
 
Heh.  I'm expecting we'll be getting a snowflake from ANGCOM.

Good catch on the cat hair, though. 
 
Given the point of origin, are you sure that isn't a goat hair?
0>;~}
 
Hey, when I draw a cat hair on a rocket fin, I draw a *cat* hair!
 
BillT - I didn't notice the flair on the nozzle before, I thought it was just a straight tube for the sending charge.  Did EOD take it away or blow it in place?  If they dug it up, did the fuse look serviceable?  I have noticed that 3rd world and PRC fuses have less safety features, so are more likely to blow prematurely than to not function on impact.
 
It's sticking out of the hole it made when it went off  -- why blow it up some more? They just winched what was left out of the hole with an MRAP.
 
It went off?! Wot they use for the warhead, a cherry bomb?
 
Stupid question time:  They prolly wouldn't let you send any certified non-dangerous parts of that thing out of country, would they?

(Asked under the category :  The ultimate expression of victory is to display the weapon of your enemy on the wall behind your bar.)

Failing that, perhaps a few detailed pictures of the manufacture of the thing so that a suitable mockup can be fabricated - and, yes, they shot a few of those things at me in Balad, so, like Marlin Perkins used to say, "All scenes, whether actual or created, depict authenticated fact..."

BillT:  Keep dodgin' those things, buddy:  I still owes ya a few pints and I want to pay up when you get back to The World.
 
Awesome post, BIll.

Luv ya, and glad they missed!
 
TO: ANGCOM
FROM: ANGSG Carborundum
RE: Request for Clarification re: recent rocket attack on Human Mortal Tuttle

1. As has been documented in my last FIVE reports, we are always short due to casualties after Cheesy Bean Burrito Night at the DFAC. My requests for reinforcements apparently were also ignored.

2. Despite lack of adequate resources Human Mortal Tuttle remains unharmed, at least last time I looked. Every minute I have to write one of these piddling reports and I'm not watching him he could be getting into trouble so can we keep this to a minimum?

3. No, we are NOT endangering cats by using them in our operations. The reference to a cat hair employed by Human Mortal Tuttle was a bit of light-hearted fibbing. Yes, there is a picture. The term that should be employed when describing said picture is "photoshop". It is not real. No responsibility is assumed for FAKE photographs implying a feline within the area of ANGCOM operations.

4. The method used in this instance was RDS-103 (Rocket Deflection System 103, or Acme Electromagnet, Buried, Array Of). This method is only used when interception is not possible (due, for example, to LACK OF REINFORCEMENTS needed by BURRITO-INDUCED CASUALTIES), since it causes power fluctuations noticable by humans and can cause Human Mortal Tuttle to leave the shelter and thump the generator so he can go back to reading comics on the internet, thus increasing risk factors 14a-23d, inclusive.

5. Speaking of missing documents, has anyone seen my request for leave? This isn't funny. I'm starting to molt.
 
Wot they use for the warhead, a cherry bomb?

Cherry bombs got a 10-meter bursting radius? Sounded like a grenade or a small mine when it went off, so it probably only had a 1.5kg warhead -- which is about the max you can pack into a 57mm can.

The Iranian 107mm rockets make a *much* bigger bang.

Failing that, perhaps a few detailed pictures of the manufacture of the thing so that a suitable mockup can be fabricated.

These things can be arranged -- as long as the server at work doesn't crap out before noon.

The method used in this instance was RDS-103 (Rocket Deflection System 103, or Acme Electromagnet, Buried, Array Of).

And it never occurred to you to bury one *in front of the launch site*, did it? Noooooooooo, you had to stick it next to the *water point*, so you could wash your *haaaaaands* and get all the *diiiiiirt* off without having to walk the twenty feet to the WC.

This isn't funny. I'm starting to molt.

How many times have I told you that sticking a double-handful of Hawli's curried pickled habañeros into the burritos would do *more* than just "make them more interesting" -- hah?
 
And it never occurred to you to bury one *in front of the launch site*, did it?

Firstly, the "launch site" is wherever Habib et al. stop the car and think they have enough time to aim before a cop shows up.  Since you and your hooch move with much less frequency than friend Habib, it makes more sense to put the array near YOU.

Noooooooooo, you had to stick it next to the *water point*, so you could wash your *haaaaaands* and get all the *diiiiiirt* off without having to walk the twenty feet to the WC.

This is what I have to deal with, folks.  Still traumatized after all these years centuries millennia because he was forced to wash behind his ears as a sprout even after I patiently and repeatedly explained it wouldn't kill him.
 
Since you and your hooch move with much less frequency than friend Habib

With what's been going on since May, it's a tie.

 
@BillT, 
"In closing, KMA." You didn't get it, that was the "Kiss."

The big thing is you're OK. The other thing is this, you have been promoted to *Royal Status, a Royal Playful PITA*.  
 
 I think the proper term is actually "Human, Tuttle, Mortal".

Cheers
 
Bill,

Triple posts two weeks in a row? Not keeping you busy enought dodging various and sundry things that go boom?

And just because I'm in that kind of a mood I disagree with both Carborundum and J.M. Heinrichs - it should be Mortal - Human - Tuttle, from the general to the specific.

I will now duck and cover as I was taught as a young'un back in the day. 
 
In the "even a blind squirrel can find an acorn" category...I'd be real careful out there. They could be aiming clear across the base and accidentally get lucky. They do try to aim the things don't they?
 
We *think* they're trying to aim them, but the concept of "it goes up and then it will come down" seems to be the extent of their grasp of the principles of indirect fire.

Joke.
 
"...the extent of their grasp of the principles of indirect fire."

Let us hope, then, that they learn - via being on the receiving end - that direct fire is sooo much more efficient.

"Hey, when I draw a cat hair on a rocket fin, I draw a *cat* hair!"

Yeah, but you used a *goat* hair as the model, hence the need for clarification.
heh
0>;~}

 
Shoddy workmanship, too -- they oversprayed the body and the paint dripped abominably.

Oh, just like the EBO mortar bombs I used to buy from the Greeks  You should have seen the re-paint jobs we used to get from their Lavrion Plant.

 
is it more insulting  to get blown up by a crude weapon, wielded by ignorant yahoos? _I_ certainly think so.
 
Oh, Bill, here is a website by a guy who reminds me of you, sorta-kinda.  He is definitely a politically-incorrect old curmudgeon,  who has been there and done that.  "That" was being a serious badass bench chemist for many years.

  Doing "that" involved him in a Class D fire which burned about 40% of his skin off.  He describes his experiences in not quite getting burned to death and dealing with the doodahs in the hospital, and the horrible pain, in such a way that they are actually funny. 

Hey, as he says about himself, some of us are Severely and Profoundly Gifted.

Here's the site:

http://www.mazepath.com/uncleal/

I recommend you start with the Emergency Room post.
 
This makes me so mad I want to burn a litter box. Jerks.
 
No kittehs were harmed in the photoshopping.  As always, yer in our prayers.
 
Dang, nobody admits to having sampled Uncle Al's crazyness?  He's my favorite High Autist Chem Nerd with a Ph.D. With grumpy racist conservative politics, to boot!