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Homer Simpson Was Right

By Boquisucio on July 21, 2010 | | Comments (15)

A sage philosopher once said: ****  No truer words have seldom been spoken, for a new noble use has been found for them.

Anyone who has done any type of long range rifle shooting knows that your rifle flexes and bends in resonance, as the cartridge conflagrates inside, etc.



You can certainly get all NERDY & SCIENTIFIC about it.  To counter this phenomenon of physics you could trick out your rifle and spend thousands.  You could Glass Bed your stock, you could get a Heavy Fluted Barrel. You could also go a little bit lower tech and for under $20 you could buy a De-Resonator.

Or, you could just stop at the local KrispyKreme, on the way to the firing range.  A pair of shooters down in Texas have discovered that if you place a few doughnuts around the barrel or your rifle, you can break the resonating flexing, and achieve perfect accuracy.





And the requisite video:

HERE is their full story.

SWEEET!!!

Boq


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15 Comments

By Beth Donovan on July 21, 2010 8:36 AM
 We will have to test this theory here at Castle Argghhh!
 
By John of Argghhh! on July 21, 2010 9:21 AM
I dunno.  I'm not sure the donuts would last...
 
By Annabelle on July 21, 2010 10:30 AM
That is pretty damn creative.  I'm guessing we won't see this on the Food Network anytime soon, although "Mythbusters" should give it a look-see!!!
 
By Leo on July 21, 2010 11:00 AM

Looks like that fella up there in the orange hat has a French crueller stuck in the middle between a chocolate cake and a chocolate glazed (or maybe another crueller with chocolate icing...yum).   That's pretty smart thinking anyway you look at it.

Besides, Homer Simpson not only said that about doughnuts, but he also stated the most basic truism of life ever.  "Beer...the cause of and solution to all of life's problems."

 
By prestonious on July 21, 2010 1:10 PM
Ok so maybe some of us like to run through harmonic shock wave dispersal calculations as we are shooting groups (it helps to calm one nerves and keeps the remaining brain cells active). Jumping back to the old nut : "the first guy to eat a raw oyster must have been REALLY hungry.". But I want to know what savant morphed those dampening calcs to believe that placing their beloved donuts would have the desired effect?? I am going to ingore the oft chance that someone just wanted a nice warm round as if it was just fresh out of the bakery --- mmmnnnn. Warm donuts... What were we taking about?
 
By Tim on July 21, 2010 1:14 PM
Can you use a jelly donut as a silencer?
 
By bad cat robot on July 21, 2010 3:13 PM
Great, Tim.  Now they are going to ban jelly donuts in California.

There are many serious scientific experiments that need to be done here.  e.g. Uniform Donutosity (all the same flavor) vs. Donutosity Range, Fresh vs. Stale, Top Pot vs. Tim Horton's, and Cake vs. Raised.  And it would be poor science to *reuse* the donuts, so they would have to be eaten by the hungry researchers.  For Science!
 
By Fishmugger on July 21, 2010 3:17 PM
If anyone here was at their local firing range, and some guy told you the best way to dampen harmonic shock waves was to put a donut on your barrel...who would have done that? Who would have put a gooey, sticky donut on their favorite deer rifle? Who would have laughed and said "Yeah right."? American inventiveness is not dead...now who has the patten on that?

I would also like to be there when some stud sniper is trying to explain why the donuts are on his rifle to some brown bar officer...better yet his Sgt.

Bagels anyone??
 
By Grimmy on July 21, 2010 4:37 PM
But I want to know what savant morphed those dampening calcs to believe that placing their beloved donuts would have the desired effect??

It probably started out with a slight mod of the old standby and went something like this: "Here, hold my coffee and watch this."

I'm guessing the first guy what done it thought he was gonna explode his donuts.

 
By Justthisguy on July 21, 2010 6:13 PM
BCR, you forgot staleness. I betcha staleness vs. freshness is the most important variable.  More damping in the damp ones, y'know.
 
By Saker on July 21, 2010 8:03 PM
Oh, wow. I've been range cadre the past two days for rifle quals, and I'm picturing the expression on my 1SG's face if I told him I could increase the soldiers' accuracy at 300 yards by putting donuts on the barrels.

It would have been priceless. And then I would have been treated as a heat casualty for talking crazy talk.
 
By Justthisguy on July 22, 2010 6:17 PM
Saker, this is just for target shooting.  I mean, what if the enemy sees our folks with donuts on their rifles, and have Homer-like brains?  They'd ignore their fears and advance into our fire, mindlessly chanting, "Donuts. Donuts. Donuts."  Yeah, that would be dumb of them and make them easy to shoot, but what if there are huge numbers of zombie-like donut seekers in an inhuman-wave attack?
 
By Saker on July 22, 2010 7:51 PM
We lure them over a cliff, like Native American buffalo hunters?
 
By Justthisguy on July 22, 2010 9:03 PM
Saker, I didn't think of that! Yer a potential General Occifer, there! 
 
By Justthisguy on July 22, 2010 9:10 PM
P.s. Saker, I'm not kidding. Sneaky Generals are the best. They win with minimum effusion of blood, on both sides of the fight. The US Army is still trying to get over the tactical style established by Grant at Cold Harbor, or, "Hey diddle diddle, straight up the middle!"