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Caption Contest - Table Manners Edition

Someone should tell this Russian Naval Infantryman some Table manners.



Well, that ain't easy (I assume because I'm not going to test it) but since he's got that table leg acting as a virtual cantilever, it's also not as hard as it looks, either.
He's using the new and improved Super Poli-Grip.
I think this guy has taken the piercing craze a little too far.
I am betting he did not pick it up with his teeth but had assistance. Just do not see how a parlor trick like this makes for a better soldier or is applicable to combat.
That useless idiotic crap stunt should come in very handy when this bozo is in combat.  I bet it would impress democrats though.  Serves no useful function but looks spiffy.
Dave, have you ever been in the military, specifically the infantry?  Pranks like these abound; young men performing all manner of acts, wise or unwise, simply saying "Look at me!  I'm doing something funny, interesting, dumb, etc." while his comrades are probably sitting back either egging him on, or saying "That Yuri, what a clown he is!"
Sometimes these pranks have nothing to do with combat readiness beyond raising morale in the immediate vicinity.
It may destroy your entire view of the military, but we have our light hearted moments, and that Russian Naval Infantryman would be the first person to tell you to lighten up.
Judging by the position of the table leg, I don't think he's holding it with his teeth!!
Hmmm, just fold the legs up, then just watch. It should get interesting, call the dentist! 
Well...he does have his elbows off the table...
Remnds me of the punch line of an old joke:

" Hey!  We eat on that table !!! "
Nothing to do with combat readiness? He's a man portable TOC!