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A caption contest... well, really, a "tell the story" contest.

There isn't anything inherently funny about this picture. But just looking at those guys faces - I'm thinking *you* guys can make it funny by adding the dialogue... Besides, a twin-fifty mount.  Sweeeet.

04/27/2010 - U.S. Navy Yeoman 3rd Class Jacob Slay fires a twin .50-caliber machine gun as Information Systems Technician 2nd Class Michael Ervin, left, and Gunner's Mate 2nd Class Joshua Pacheco help him spot his target from aboard the U.S. 7th Fleet command ship USS Blue Ridge (LCC 19) during a live-fire training exercise in the Pacific Ocean April 27, 2010. (DoD photo by Mass Communication Specialist 3rd Class Daniel Viramontes, U.S. Navy/Released)


Dang, those little metal thingies really do go that way!
Marine sniper.  One round at a thousand yards.
AF fighter pilot.  2000+ rounds a minute at enemy aircraft.
Army troop.  600 rounds a minute at broad side of barn.
Navy.  1200 rounds a minute at broad side of ocean.
Just joking folks.  Two brothers served in Marines.  Two more in Army.  One and I joined AF.  Daughter in Navy.
Hmm.  Guy's an IT Tech, and his battle station is gunner's mate on a twin fifty mount? 

'Hmm. Guy's an IT Tech, and his battle station is gunner's mate on a twin fifty mount?'

Notta problem even though he is an IT type, apparently he was able to be trained enough to hold a machine gun belt and point at stuff.
"Okay, One. More. Time. The target is the white plywood square on the float that's being towed *behind* the big, grey, metal thingie..."
"Ok now look here Stephens. Keep your eyes down range, and no matter what keep yer thumbs on the the pedal."

"But sir it's just a..."

"Look here son, overwhelming firepower is superior firepower and the more lead down range is absolutely imperative. We're the Navy, we have a reputation to keep and the Air Force has been infringing on our ordnance delivery since the damn DOD retired our last Battleship."

"But's a...."

"Don't argue with me seaman! Get your calculation machination in the correct forward gear and start applying appropriate force to the aquired target now son!"

*15,000 rounds and 1 dead seagull later*

"That'll teach that damn bird to crap on the skippers observation deck!"
Oh yes, wolf, the .50 stations are usually manned by other-than-gunners.  You see, us GMs were usually manning the big guns and missile launchers at general quarters.

We had an MS (Mess Specialist) who LOVED manning his .50.  Depending on the circumstances, they might be on station 24/7 during Condition III cruising.  Our CO liked to call out for "quick draw" exercises, to see if they were paying attention.  Toss a bag of trash off the pointy end, call for the Quick Draw from Mount (whichever) to try to hit it.

That MS would be blasting rounds out pretty much before the annoucement was finished, and more than once they had to send someone to physically tell him to cease fire.  Seems he didn't hear the call to cease fire as he never let up enough to hear the 1MC.
That's my kind of mess steward!  Well, as long as he can cook, too.
...And your middle finger is right there.  NOW will you believe me when I tell you not to have your fingers in the ammo?
...Josh had best get his finger out from the belt before Jake pulls the trigger, I'm thinking... ;)
Hah! JohnW beat me to it....
"Ok, see, that's the target over there.  What you've been pointing at is the observation boat."
Lemme see now...

There's a Slay-er on the gun. An IT wiz sayin' where to shoot, and a Gunner's Mate feedin' ammo.
All is correct.
Speaking of Mess Stewards and 50 Cal's..........

Dorie Miller

Apparently, buckling your chin strap is a foreign concept to the Navy...
Heartless - actually, my first thought when I saw the pic, followed by "Ruh-roh, he'll be unhappy when that belt starts moving if his finger is still where it appears to be."

I lettit go, because I've been told before I have an old-fashioned attachment to silly rules.
"Guys, I bet we can sink that new LCS right now!"

John-I'd still love to point a CSM in their direction and watch the fun...

So in the Navy it really does take 3 people to do the job that one Army TC could do from the coupola of  an M-1 tank?

(What's all that "holding the belt" jive anyways?)

I'd hate to see how many it would take them to pre-load the ammo compartment on an M-60 coupola.. /snerk
Naval ITS: Providing software AND hardware support since the days of tubes and wires.
Oo! Oo! Oo! I didn't think of this one until I saw Casey's comment "Now when the USS John Murtha comes in to this channel...."
Another one of John M. Browning's inventions- still working great since before these kids' grandparents were born!

Im really curious what the fourth guy is doing... cause really, the three man crew is kinda ridiculous...and the rockstar with the shades on is killing me with the "im a wanna be BAMF" look hes rocking.
Look! More Somali pirates about to attack us poor unarmed US Navy types again...WooHoo!
I got a big laugh at how well their helmets fit.
John NTA, one is obliged to acknowledge the few flashes of genius in the world of engineering. The Ma Duce (like the Sidewinder, the Warthog, and the Herky-bird) is one of them.

Bloodspite: I hadn't thought of that, but it would make a tempting target, wouldn't it? Heh...

IIRC My 3'50 twin mount had Commisaryman, yeoman, Ship's Serviceman and various deck apes as a crew with a GMG (moi) and a striker as local surface. On the PBR the twin .50s it was just me-but we were saltier then.
Bloodsprite,  Please think of the poor sailors on the Murtha.  Having to serve on his namesake would be bad enough, but having to spend eternity aboard?
BS beat me to it.... although I was going to say "THERE!  USS MURTHA at 11 o'clock!"

eww, serving on the Murtha would be very distasteful.  And I think the worst would be every time the Captain departs or arrives.



Actually, I was never on a ship that was named after anyone.  Any old salts know, do they spell out the full name every time, or does it get shortened?

The trick to an M60 cupola was to put only one box worth of belt in it and use the range finder to find out how far away the stupid target was. Surprise, it works for that just as well as it did for the main gun. And if you needed more than a single box of .50 ammo to get through a gunnery cycle, ya didn't know wtf you were doing. Oh yeah, and actually boresight, zero, and USE the sight. Stupid hipshooters.