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Caption Contest - Matress Guard Edition

It's sleepy-time in this here Army.

© EPA/Leo La Valle

Boq

7 Comments

"The officer who sleeps on these matresses and feels the pea shall become the commander."
 
This is my mattress.  There are many like it, but only this one is mine.
 

When they said it was a cushy job, this isn't quite what I pictured.

 
Lets see...blue for the Ai Force, brown for the Army, green for the Marines and Pink for the Navy.
 

Ah, C'MON!  There has to be a pea in there somewhere.

 
Wadda mean we can't issue them, because they're not UNIFORM?
 
Ok whose got the PMCS Manual for these things so I can get started already?