Comments for Ya gotta love the South

Ya gotta love the South

2010-01-15T16:34:49Z

Heh.

Tennessee

The owner of a golf course was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from the University of Tennessee and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"

The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everything but my earrings."

Alabama

A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck. "Where's Henry?" the others asked.

"Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail," the successful hunter replied.

"You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?" they inquired.
"A tough call," nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one is going to steal Henry..."

Texas

The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage out of his pick-up into the ditch.

The Sheriff asked, "Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don' t you see that sign right over your head?"

"Yep, " he replied. "That's why I dumpin' it here, 'cause it says 'Fine For Dumping Garbage'."

Louisiana

A senior at LSU was overheard saying, "When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana -- because everything happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in the rest of the civilized world."

Mississippi

The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!"

Bubba replied, "Did you see who it was?"

The young man answered, "Nope, but I got his license number."

Georgia

A Georgia State trooper pulled over a pickup on I- 75. The trooper asked, "Got any ID?"

The driver replied, "Bout whut?"

North Carolina

A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put one bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it.

Then he got back in the car to wait. A passerby studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was.

The man replied, "I have a flat."

The passerby asked, "But what's with the bouquets?"

The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back. Heck, it don't make no sense to me, neither."

Comment from BloodSpite on 2010-01-19

2010-01-19T18:13:23Z

........

Comment from Carol Kirk on 2010-01-19

2010-01-19T17:55:22Z
And of course this discourse: What did the University of Tennessee graduate say to the Vanderbilt graduate? "You want fries with that?"

Comment from Justthisguy on 2010-01-18

2010-01-18T21:46:00Z
Hey, Chief, PDK is where I got my Ford Trimotor ride! Was fun! At one time they had the rubber-powered man-carrying airplane there. I knew the guy who "flew" it. (He was picked for being young, and dumb, and light)

I just think yer feeling the itching from the dormant Naval Aviation Cootie larvae there, which woke up and jumped on you when they detected your presence.

Comment from LittleRed1 on 2010-01-18

2010-01-18T18:41:20Z
BillT - bring it on. I did my primary flight training at PDK.

Personally, I always thought things would have been better if Sherman had spared Atlanta and burned Hartzfield instead.

Comment from Cricket on 2010-01-18

2010-01-18T15:32:40Z
Oh, go for it. I was made a southerner; my d*mned Yankee status was revoked several years ago. DeKalb county is..heh. As a serious foodie, their international market is NOT to be missed, should you ever get that way again.

Here is one for you and it is true: Utah has Jell-O as the official state snack. I have always maintained that the only reason Jell-O is worth having on the planet is because it is the only thing that trembles in my presence. Having said that, go watch 'Monsters vs. Aliens' and pay attention to the B.O.B. character's tender exchange with a Jell-O salad. I am a sick puppy.

Comment from R Jewell on 2010-01-18

2010-01-18T12:16:04Z
An *Elevator* in Southern Indiana is where you haul your corn and beans to in order to sell 'em.

I thought everybody knew that.............

Comment from BloodSpite on 2010-01-18

2010-01-18T12:06:04Z
And I was just starting to like you Bill ;)

Comment from BillT on 2010-01-17

2010-01-18T05:56:16Z
There are elevators in Southern Indiana?

Yes, but they only go *up*. You have to walk down the stairs from the second floor.

Old son, these are some terrible jokes.

Thanks, Grim. 'Bout time you stopped laughing and typed something. I went easy on Joejah out of respect for you and Mizz Cricket -- I could have said something about Peachtree-DeKalb Interdimensional Airport...

Comment from Grim on 2010-01-17

2010-01-18T04:43:33Z
Old son, these are some terrible jokes. I did convey them about, just on the principle of spreading the misery.

Comment from HomefrontSix on 2010-01-17

2010-01-17T23:26:42Z
I thought "UCLA" stood for the UGLIEST Corner of Lower Alabama.

Comment from Cricket on 2010-01-17

2010-01-17T22:47:30Z
There are elevators in Southern Indiana?
*thud*

Comment from Cricket on 2010-01-17

2010-01-17T22:39:49Z
The only reason Mark Twain could snipe about Louisiana is because Missouri (and I lived there for five years; I know whereof what I speak) is more progressive; they are only 15 years out of date.

Comment from BillT on 2010-01-17

2010-01-17T10:10:34Z
You'd love UCLA, FuzzyBee.

Upper Corner of Lower Alabama.

Where "tahr" can mean road surfacing, the things that go flat on your auto, or the elevated building housing the ATC folks at an airport...

Comment from FbL on 2010-01-17

2010-01-17T07:20:31Z
Love the jokes and the comments, both! The North Carolina one reminded me of a conversation I had with some citizens of Southern Indiana when I worked at an elevator plant there (trust me, people in that area have a whole lot more in common with Kentucky and points south than they do with Indianapolis!)...

One day I joined the conversation late, and near as I could tell, it had something to do with "tahr" and "fahr." Being that I was somewhat familiar with the accent, I was beginning to get the idea that it involved a vehicular mishap (tire and fire)... until someone said something about "hot tahr" on their head.

Huh??!

Turns out the subject was a house fire melting the tar on the roof.

Fortunately, I had soon refined my language skills enough that I could clearly distinguish between tire and tar, and fire and far. Believe it or not, there IS a difference in pronunciation... ;)

I miss those people--I worked in the engineering department, where many of those guys ran intellectual circles around me while they worked their tails off... between bouts of discussing "huntin', fishin'" and how to skin a squirrel (really!). Fine folks, and more proof of what my parents had taught me: accent/culture, career/intelligence and character are NOT related to each other. I was attending a major state university at the time, and it was fascinating to have one foot in the world of "higher education" (school of music) and another in the down-home world of real folks the academics probably despised.

Comment from Rod Thorsen on 2010-01-16

2010-01-16T20:06:08Z
Heard this from my brother in Georgia. "If you own a car in Georgia with it's turn signal on, it was probably bought that way"

Comment from BillT on 2010-01-16

2010-01-16T16:44:44Z
I heard it was, "Here, hold my beer while I show ya somethin'..."

Oh, wait. That was Wisconsin.

Never mind.

Comment from LittleRed1 on 2010-01-16

2010-01-16T15:47:36Z
In an attempt to better understand the causes for passenger vehicle accidents, the NTSB had all cars sold in one year fitted with the automotive version of black-box flight recorders. After 12 months the boxes were removed and the contents analyzed, especially for vehicles that had been in accidents. In 49 of the 50 states, the most common last words recorded before the wreck were "Aeeegh!" or "oh s-it!"

In Texas, however, the most common last recorded transmission was "Hey y'all watch this!"

Comment from Casey on 2010-01-16

2010-01-16T06:06:08Z
The crack about Looseyana was stolen from a Mark Twain remark about Cincinnati... :)

Comment from AFSister on 2010-01-15

2010-01-16T03:58:21Z
We have many (and I do mean MANY) vacation pictures from when we were kids with a Kodak "Photo Spot" sign right behind us.

think about it.

Comment from Saker on 2010-01-15

2010-01-15T23:53:07Z
Oh good grief.

Now excuse me, I have some southern friends to harrass... :D

Comment from Justthisguy on 2010-01-15

2010-01-15T23:30:36Z
Is this retaliation for that remark about the New Jersey Criminal Accent I made over at Grim's Hall?

Comment from Fred on 2010-01-15

2010-01-15T17:41:52Z
TINS

The Wisconsin niece of a friend of mine was doing student teaching in an unnamed Southern state (OK, it has a name. I'm just not going to tell you.)

The dismal results of the first test she gave the class prompted one student to ask accusingly, "You gave us the yankee test, didn't you?"

Comment from Mike Williams on 2010-01-15

2010-01-15T17:33:28Z
How are the Chinese and South Carolinians alike? They both eat rice and worship their ancestors. .

Comment from Miss Ladybug on 2010-01-15

2010-01-15T17:12:32Z
Bored much? Those were funny. But, I thought you were busy, or are you just taking a break?

:-p