Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl 'Will you marry me?' The girl said, 'NO!' And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted.
The End.
22 Comments
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© Original Content 2003-2011 John Donovan
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All rights reserved. © other material retained by owners and used by permission or excerpted under "Fair Use"
and
kind of superfluous?
Thank you W.C. Fields.
Once upon a time, a beautiful, independent, self assured princess happened upon a frog in a pond.
The frog said to the princess, "I was once a handsome prince until an evil witch put a spell on me. One kiss from you and I will turn back into a prince and then we can marry, move into the castle with my mom and you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children and forever feel happy doing so."
That night, while the princess dined on frog legs, she kept laughing and saying, "I don't THINK so."
/r Princess Crabby
You go, girl!!!
Can't wait until SWWBO notices it.
The couch is quite comfy, as long as I don't have to share it with Buffy. Then it's a bit cramped.
Who had a little curl,
Right in the middle of her forehead.
And when she was good,
She was very, very good,
And when she was bad
She livened up the Comment Parties considerably...
Cowboy Blob...if you are THE guy, I would like to buy you a drink and learn about the meaning of life and the mysteries of the universe and whether you send the lady that said "NO" a Christmas card each year and say thank you.
Once upon a time a Dashing Young Airdale, against his better judgement, agreed to attend GenCon, where he met a pretty young woman who would soon become Mrs Dashing Young Airdale.
Like all fantasy stories, there was a dark side, and it seems that the Mrs Dashing Young Aurdale had had a curse put upon her which made her appear as the most beautiful wonderful woman in the whole wide world, when, in fact, she was actually a Vampyre who sucked the life out of their marriage, drove a stake through the Dashing Young Airdale's heart, and then left.
The end.
Yikes! That was a scary story. I might have to sleep with the lights on tonight.
I have on occasion (oh, all right! All the time) been demanding. And it has involved the depletion of fluid. But never blood.
You've been hanging with the wrong Swabbie Doxies baby.
Yeah, I was always a sucker for a pretty face... especially when alcohol was involved. :)
But a gal in a sailor suit? Yowza! It don't get any better than that!
That's an Airdale for ya, though.. Live fast and go down in flames. Heh.
When I was a little girl, my Dad taught me that rhyme.... and then had me recite it to all of his buddies, because I really did have a little curl in the middle of my forehead. There's a certain swish-sway with your hands held behind your back that must be done when reciting it.
Yeah, I know, John started the tread with tongue in cheek, but I'm reacting to the difference between the two stories, which seems to mirror how real life works out. In John's story, the guy said no, and was fine. Nothing happened to the woman; she was free to enjoy herself elsewhere. Not to mention she was not depicted in any negative way. On the other hand, in Maggie's story, not only was the man depicted as selfish and un-appreciative, the woman killed the frog, and ate him. Très harsh!
Not only that, there are unspoken assumptions about male and female behavior revealed in this thread. John has made some whimsical comments about sleeping on the couch. I have all respect for SWWBO, and I don't doubt she is a lovely, classy lady. Still, there's the bog-standard unconscious assumption that it's quite all right for the lady of the house to exile her spouse to "the couch" for such verbal trespass. "Slept on the couch last night, eh?" "Ayuh, made a joke the wife didn't appreciate." Fade to laughter...
On the other hand, how would folks react if a man did the same thing to his wife for a similar faux pas? More specifically, she made a joke -possibly in poor taste- which offended him, so she had to sleep on the couch. Not only would all of her friends arise in righteous outrage, most likely someone would call the local police and women's outreach center. The husband would be charged with emotional cruelty, barred from seeing his children (if any), and subject to counseling.
...And if the man made a crack about eating a prospective fiancée, even in an absurdly symbolic fairy-tale manner, he'd probably be branded a wife-abuser, sex-offender, and prevented from ever seeing his kids again.
...And, yes, I know Maggie didn't mean her comment in that way, it was very tongue-in-cheek.
I'm sorry to be such a downer about this, but certain very screwed-up standards of our society touch me sorely, and this is one of them.
An unfounded assumption. Maggie specifically described her as "a beautiful, independent, self assured princess" -- not unlike my own HellWife1 -- which means that she realized that a talking frog was unique, and merely amputated his legs and kept the remainder as a -- heh -- conversation piece.
Again, not unlike my own HellWife1. Except she didn't amputate my legs, she merely cleaned out the bank account, burned the house down, and took off for Hawaii with her pothead friends....
The divorce therapy session may recommence, we apologize for the attempted hijacking of this already hijacked thread.... 8^ )
My ex husband never slept on the coach unless that was where he fell asleep during Monday night football. When I decided that I no longer wished to be married, I told my ex to go find someone else who would love him as he should be loved - literally. That he would live in the house until it was convenient for him to move out. That child support would be decided between us and not in the courts. He was a good egg, he didn't deserve to be punished simply because I wanted something different. I was fully aware of all the avenues available to me to "take him to the cleaners" and "make his life miserable". I chose my own path. We drafted a document that a law clerk edited and we filed on our own - no lawyers. When he had an unexpected expense, he told me and we worked around it. When I had an unexpected expense, I told him and we worked around it. No need to punish him just because I was unhappy.
He also had avenues available to him to punish me. And since he was the aggrieved party, many would have understood had he taken them. However, he waited patiently for me to be in a position to buy him out of our house rather than force a sale.
Now he is remarried and has two more children who call me "Auntie"....well, actually, because they moved to Virginia, they call me "Antie" despite my intense coaching.
It's the only marriage/divorce I must answer for.
As for the fairy tale? Well the Chief is right -
Maggie specifically described her as "a beautiful, independent, self assured princess"
And you are wrong, I did not make "a crack about eating a prospective fiancé"
I made a joke about defending myself from an assault in the forest. The "beautiful, independent, self assured princess" is accosted by a malicious creature who threatens to ruin her life. Frogs legs were just an incidental bonus.
The one beef I had with my divorce was the governmental interference. Despite the fact that my ex and I were perfectly content to iron out our own differences - and submit our paperwork to prove it, we still had to attend classes. The Commonwealth of Massachusetts requires divorcing parents to attend 5 hours each of classes to tell you how not to fight in front of your children. It cost hundreds of dollars 10 years ago when I had to do it. And it was INFURIATING! If the government wants to offer me help - fine, but don't force me.
So, now Casey go and enjoy the rest of the weekend and remember to always pay attention to the wisdom of Oldloadr.
You are a dear dear woman. Thank you for being here :)