In the 1930's, when Indiana Jones was out searching for the Ark of the Covenant, he came across a small cave in the Horeb, whereupon he found a piece of scroll, the torn edges of which happen to match a Dead Sea Scroll upon which was found an early version of the Book of Exodus.
Exodus 17. Water From The Rock.
1. And all the congregation of the children of Israel journeyed from the wilderness of Sin, after their journeys, according to the commandment of the LORD, and pitched in Reph'idim: and there was no water for the people to drink.
2 Wherefore the people did chide with Moses, and said, Give us water that we may drink. And Moses said unto them, Why chide ye with me? wherefore do ye tempt the LORD?
3 And the people thirsted there for water; and the people murmured against Moses, and said, Wherefore is this that thou hast brought us up out of Egypt, to kill us and our children and our cattle with thirst?
4 And Moses cried unto the LORD, saying, What shall I do unto this people? They be almost ready to stone me.
5 And the LORD said unto Moses, Go on before the people, and take with thee of the elders of Israel; and thy rod, wherewith thou smotest the river, take in thine hand, and go.
6 Behold, I will stand before thee there upon the rock in Horeb; and thou shalt smite the rock, and there shall come water out of it, that the people may drink. And Moses did so in the sight of the elders of Israel.
7 And he called the name of the place Massah, and Mer'ibah, because of the chiding of the children of Israel, and because they tempted the LORD, saying, Is the LORD among us, or not?
Here begins the missing fragment.
8. And when the crowd had passed from that place, a babe remained, seated in the place where water had gushed from the rock. Puckish he seemed, yet very intent upon his work. And the Lord was curious. "What's up, Tuttle?"
9. The very dirty urchin looked up at the Lord, and held forth a hand full of gooey, mucky earth, and said, "Gah! Oook lak shi mak!" <giggle>
10. And the Lord took the gooey mass from Tuttle and said, "Hmmmm, interesting! So, you just took the dirt from here, mixed it with the water, and made this, eh? I think we shall call this, "Mud!"
11. And the Lord plopped down on the ground beside Tuttle, and they made pies.
Now you know why 8-11 are missing from The Book. Ever since then, Bill has had a special relationship with the Almighty. Back in 2005, Bill made this observation in a post full of Guardian Angel references (the comments are a must-read).
"Just remember *who* gave God the recipe for mud. And He's been watching over me ever since. Mostly out of sheer curiosity"
While God may be too busy to always keep a personal eye on Tuttle, he created the Guardian Angel Corps to handle that job (and, admittedly, a few others - we currently have several GAs deployed in support of deployed readers, and Sergeant B's GA is on Re-deployment Leave at the moment). Bill's, Heartless Lib's, El Capitan's, and Old Blue's GAs are all on strip alert.
Anyway, the long suffering Carborundum, through the good offices of Bad Cat Robot, sends you this card, Bill. And some commentary.
Carborundum sez:
I don't care what the form says, he must have been hatched, not born, and was grandfathered in after that little unpleasantness involving an unsanctioned apple. It's certainly been an eternity, possibly two, since I first got the order to report for instructions. Not one warning twinge of premonition, either. I am pleased to report that not only have we successfully orbited the sun one more time without losing our designated human, but my squad of GAs did not suffer a single fatality! I do believe this is a first, and has greatly improved morale and retention. Granted, Effluvia has panic attacks if she sees anything wrapped in a tortilla, and Cumulous has little episodes where he forgets how to fly, but we find a way to improvise, adapt, or increase the anti-psychotic meds in the juice dispenser. Whatever it takes. Don't mention it to ANGCOM, but we used our initiative and obtained accurate weather reports in return for reducing rheumatism in a certain Iraqi grandmother ... especially for ones that keep Tuttle on the ground.
Hey Tuttle! Arranged for a spiritualist to have a vision, so I could send a message. Now please, for your old buddy Carborundum, wear your helmet and stay away from the cheesy bean burritos, mkay?
Note the sand-colored wings. Hard to keep a guy's feather's clean over there.
Guardian Angels are not allowed to be seen or photographed (except for their ID cards), but they are allowed to reveal themselves in dreams to artists. Artists such as Sage, who draws Lawn Darts, among many other things. ]]>