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Caption this...

By The Armorer on May 18, 2009 | | Comments (82)
...here's the actual, boring caption:


05/14/2009 - Vice President Joe Biden meets with U.S. Sailors enrolled in the basic underwater demolition/SEAL course on Naval Amphibious Base Coronado, Calif., May 14, 2009. Biden and his wife Dr. Jill Biden are visiting several commands during a familiarization tour of naval facilities in the San Diego, Calif., area. (DoD photo by Mass Communication Specialist 1st Class Ryan Valverde, U.S. Navy/Released)
 

C'mon, you know you can do better.



I'll get you started:  "And the door to my Sooper Sekrit bunker in the basement of the Naval Observatory is, like, y'know, gosh, *this thick*!"

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82 Comments

By Bob Owens on May 18, 2009 12:44 PM
"And then I said to Lovey, 'Dear, I knew Gilligan was daft, dear boy, but why did he never decide to search the other side of this place called Guantanamo?' and he finally did... and here we are."


 
By Tom on May 18, 2009 12:59 PM
"Can we go back to SERE training?  Please?"
 
By Brian on May 18, 2009 1:00 PM
Hey, which of you fellas want to pull my finger?
 
By Gerry Owen on May 18, 2009 1:00 PM

FIVE DOLLAR....5 DOLLAR...FIVE DOLLAR FOOT Loooonng!

 
By David on May 18, 2009 1:01 PM
"Seriously, it's THIS big.  I'll whip it out if ya don't believe me."
 
By Charliefreak on May 18, 2009 1:02 PM
Who here has ever landed in the Afghan Mountains while under fire? Anybody? Anybody?
 
By Norris on May 18, 2009 1:02 PM
"...about this long.  So yeah, I got it going on!"

FTR, if these guys are BUD/S students, they aren't SEALS (yet).
 
By Brian on May 18, 2009 1:04 PM
"Hey, which of you fellas want to pull my finger?"
 
By David on May 18, 2009 1:08 PM
"Seriously, it's THIS big.  I'll whip it out if ya don't believe me, biatches."
 
By Paul B on May 18, 2009 1:12 PM
"So the Jew turns to the Homosexual and says that's what he said! Ha Ha!" Followed by cricketts chirpping and staffers quickly ending the photo op.
 
By bob on May 18, 2009 1:12 PM
No kidding, Cheney's is this big!
 
By S Robert Hitchcock on May 18, 2009 1:12 PM
No kidding, when I was in college and before I graduated at the top of my class with 5 degrees I helped to start the SEAL program. Honest to God. Hey that reminds me, where’s Chuck Graham, standup Chuck, let everyone see you…
 
By Chris on May 18, 2009 1:13 PM
And then I drew my six shooters and took down those Somali pirates with three shots.
 
By Tony on May 18, 2009 1:14 PM
So dere I wuz in Tora Bora, and I droo my trustee six-shootrrrs and says to Bin Laden, "Fill yer hands, Pilgrim!"
 
By Jim Tremblay on May 18, 2009 1:18 PM
"I think I might have a much longer IQ than you do, I suspect.  It's, like, this long!"
 
By Fishmugger on May 18, 2009 1:19 PM
So the staff at the White House said I was going out to San Diego to see the seals and I thought they meant Sea World. But hey, you guys are just as good.
 
By robopox on May 18, 2009 1:20 PM
" no, really, ....you'll just have to point your finger
and say BANG! after our budget cuts"
 
By Julescat on May 18, 2009 1:20 PM
Let me tell you this joke that FDR said on TV the day in '29 when the stock market crashed.
 
By Kevin WM on May 18, 2009 1:20 PM
I just saw a terd this big in the latrine. 
 
By Charliefreak on May 18, 2009 1:21 PM
Who here has ever landed in the Afghan Mountains while under fire? Anybody? Anybody?
 
By Chuck on May 18, 2009 1:24 PM
"You guys wanna know what scary is? I'll tell you what, you haven't tasted fear 'til an RPG comes this close to takin' off your head. No lie, I nearly took one of those bad babies right between the eyes over there in the Green Zone... Believe me, aint none of ya ever been scared like that"
 
By 2klbofun on May 18, 2009 1:25 PM
Thought bubble above crowd:

"And this joker's one heartbeat from being CiC.  God help us all."
 
By Chad on May 18, 2009 1:26 PM
Come on, give Blow Hard Biden a break.  You don't know how hard it is for Biden to stand up in front of all those guys, all of whom know he's a coward, a liar, and a complete tool.
 
By Matt McIntyre on May 18, 2009 1:26 PM
Personally, I've always thought the Navy was full of imbeciles and panty-waists … what?…why are you camera people all looking at me like that?…there's a bunch of SEALs standing behind me right now isn't there? Jeez, I've done it again.
 
By Change? on May 18, 2009 1:26 PM
"And I don't like nobody touching my stuff. So just keep your meat-hooks off. If I catch any of you guys in my stuff, I'll kill you. Also, I don't like nobody touching me. Now, any of you homos touch me, and I'll kill you."
 
By 2klbofun on May 18, 2009 1:27 PM
Thought bubble above crowd:

"And this joker's one heartbeat from being CiC.  God help us all."
 
By Kevin WM on May 18, 2009 1:28 PM

Gee whiz, how do you sailors see out here?!  The sun feels like it's this close to my retinas.

 

 

 
By blake on May 18, 2009 1:28 PM
"she don't call it 'Billy Baroo" for nothing!!
 
By Matt McIntyre on May 18, 2009 1:29 PM
Personally, I've always thought the Navy was full of imbeciles and panty-waists … what?…why are you camera people all looking at me like that?…there's a bunch of SEALs standing behind me right now isn't there? Jeez, I've done it again.
 
By Quityerbitchin on May 18, 2009 1:30 PM
Chicks dig me, because I rarely wear underwear and when I do it's usually something unusual. But now I know why I have always lost women to guys like you. I mean, it's not just the uniform. It's the stories that you tell. So much fun and imagination.
 
By BIll on May 18, 2009 1:31 PM

They said BUD/S training would be excrutiating at times, but this is cruel and unusual!

Followed by: I give up! I'll talk! Just make him SHUT UP!!!

 
By fdcol63 on May 18, 2009 1:32 PM
"Oh, come on ....we all know Nancy's telling a whopper that's THIS long!"
 
By Matt on May 18, 2009 1:34 PM
Come on, sing it with me---  The LOVE BOAT! Soon will be making another run . . .
 
By Sammy Finkelman on May 18, 2009 1:37 PM
This could look very bad. People could think that because you are all wearing brown shirts that you like the Nazis.  We have to get away from things like that.
 
By Greg W on May 18, 2009 1:37 PM
"It's easy to grin when your ship comes in and you've got the stock market beat.  But the man worthwhile, is the man who can smile,  when his shorts are too tight in the seat."
 
By CDR B on May 18, 2009 1:43 PM
I had a nice tie all picked out to wear today, but the Secret Service took it away.  They were afraid I would hang myself.  But then they replaced it with a sturdy rope, so I'm thinking, this sure would make a cheap tie.  Anyone know how to tie a bolo tie? 
 
By snl on May 18, 2009 1:47 PM
"I know most of you kids don't get Botox, but, I swear to God, the needle is this long!"
 
By Paul D on May 18, 2009 1:49 PM
How 'bout a Fresca!
 
By ODix on May 18, 2009 1:49 PM
No, really, those of you smiling know what I mean, Obama is the most wonderful, competent, leadershipful CIC we've ever had.
 
By eric on May 18, 2009 1:56 PM

Unknown stand up comedian receives roaring laughter at Mr Universe convention

 
By Julescat on May 18, 2009 2:00 PM
are there any Indian-Americans here?  Aw what am I saying?  This isn't a 7-11!
 
By eric on May 18, 2009 2:03 PM
Son of Bob Hope entertains wildly enthusiastic crowd. 
 
By Jim Tremblay on May 18, 2009 2:16 PM
I think I might have a much longer IQ than you do, I suspect. It's, like, this long!
 
By MTF on May 18, 2009 2:18 PM
"So, and you'll love this part!, so then I said to my mother, 'Mom, I got elected!  And she couldn't believe it!' So now I get to live in this big house and I get my own bunker!"
 
By Deborah on May 18, 2009 2:29 PM
What "Fishmugger" said.
 
By eric on May 18, 2009 2:31 PM
accidental shooting at life fire exercise shocks nation
 
By Mister Conservative on May 18, 2009 2:32 PM

In conclusion, er, let's see, did I ever tell you I was the first one in my family to go to college?  Er . . no. . . that was Neil Kinnock, not me.

Well, did I ever tell you how Obama is "the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy."  Am I talking out loud again? Sorry,  that was stuck in my brain from last year's campaign.  Too racial.  My bad.

How about the one that "we're gonna have an international crisis, a generated crisis, to test the mettle of this guy [Obama].  I can give you at least four or five scenarios from where it might originate. . . .And he's gonna need help. .. . Because it's not gonna be apparent initially, it's not gonna be apparent that we're right."  No, they made me promise to stop saying that.

Forced down over the desert from sidewinder missiles while traversing the superhighway of terrorism?  Damn, ixnay on that one too, per Rahm Emanuel.

So, what's left in Tailgunner Joe's bag of tricks? . . .

Anyone want to pull my finger?  I dare you.

 
By mister conservative on May 18, 2009 2:44 PM
Having persevered through survival traning which included specific courses on how to resist "Enhanced Interrogation Technigues" even waterboarding, the young SEALS-to-be crack almost immediately when they are exposed to just a few minutes of Joe Biden's off-the-cuff remarks.
 
By Mark B on May 18, 2009 2:49 PM
Looooove.  Exciting and new.  Come aboard...we're expecting yoooooooouuuuu!
 
By Neal on May 18, 2009 2:51 PM
"You know, you can go into a 7-11 store - you know the stores I mean?  The ones where you can't walk in without hearing a Hindu-Indian accent?  Well, anyway, you can walk into the 7-11 and get a hot dog this big!"
 
By Axey on May 18, 2009 3:03 PM
Have you seen the ass on the first lady?  It's this wide....I swear to God.
 
By GMS on May 18, 2009 3:07 PM

"And then, there was this time, at band camp, let me tell you ..."

 
By Joe on May 18, 2009 3:09 PM
"You see, I know what you boys are goin' through, being away from home and all.  Joe Biden's got a helluva commute riding the Amtrak everyday, let me tell you.  And you all get to wear t-shirts; well just look at me, all dressed up in this heat.  Has someone got an ice cream or something?  I'm so hot I could kill a man with these two guns, get it?  My arms?!  I guess John Kerry was right, you boys are a bit slow, just joshin'!"
 
By Patrick Carroll on May 18, 2009 3:44 PM
"...so the genie clicked his fingers, there was a puff of smoke, and when it cleared I left facing a pianist *this* big..."
 
By Joe Biden on May 18, 2009 4:08 PM
So, you Navy boys out on your boats must fish a lot, huh? Well, let me tell you, I caught this fish in the Potomac with Barry last week...thing was this big!
 
By Tim on May 18, 2009 4:32 PM
"Altogether now, boys, sing, 'I'm the very essence of a modern major-general...' .. why aren't you guys singing?"



 
By Neffi on May 18, 2009 4:50 PM
Hmmm. That Semi-Autonomous Comment Repitition program BCR installed is really padding the ol' numbers, John! 8^ )
 
By John of Argghhh! on May 18, 2009 5:19 PM
Heh.  6,000 visitors in three hours, most of whom tried to leave a comment didn't help... and I"ve been cleaning up, too!
 
By Sammy Finkelman on May 18, 2009 5:55 PM
Now all you have to be very careful about being photographed - if Al Qaeda got hold of a picture of you dressed like that, they could accuse us of being Brownshirts.  President Obama, as you may know, just stopped some photographs of treatments of detainees from being published. And this could have the same effect.  So we have to watch out for that. 
 
By Passerby on May 18, 2009 6:30 PM
-

Technically, Private, it's called a "Pocket Square"

-

 

 
By Fishmugger on May 18, 2009 6:35 PM
Pretty tight cheeks eh boys. All those olive races when I was pledging. So I know hardship. You seals ever have olive races? Had trouble with the maraschino cherries though.
 
By Richard Palmer on May 18, 2009 6:39 PM
"I heard 'draw mister'.  I turned around and there was a 6 year old kid.  Well, I threw down my guns and walked away.  Little bastard shot me in the ass"
 
By SSG Jeff (USAR) on May 18, 2009 6:40 PM
"C'mon - who wants to give me a hug? How about you, Mr. Instructor?"

"Michelle and I bench pressed a log "this" long!"
 
By Julescat on May 18, 2009 6:46 PM
the dental bill for these fake choppers was this long!
 
By Joe McDade on May 18, 2009 7:31 PM

Oh yeah? Well, who  f------- wants some? You? You?

 
By Old Blue on May 18, 2009 8:17 PM
You talkin' to me?  You talkin' to ME?  YOU talkin' to ME?! 
 
By Old Blue on May 18, 2009 8:41 PM

I can never remember which one is the mizzenmast.  Is it that one, or is it the other one?  What the hell does mizzen mean, anyway?  I'll tell you what's mizzen... the plaque that says, "This is the mizzenmast!"  That's what's mizzen! 

Thank you!  You've been a great crowd!  Remember to tip your wait staff!

 
By Whoopster on May 18, 2009 8:44 PM
You call that a tat?  Ya wanna see a tat?  I'll show you a tat, you ain't seen a tat 'til you've seen mine!  The O-man calls it a tramp stamp, Harry calls it his target, but is it wrong for a guy to have a simple tat on his lower back? 
 
By Mike on May 18, 2009 8:51 PM
So how do I get away from this moron and begin Hell Week?
 
By John of Argghhh! on May 18, 2009 9:38 PM
Good one, Mike!
 
By 11B40 on May 18, 2009 10:00 PM
Greetings:

Photo Caption:  Enthralled Navy SEAL trainees listen to Vice President Joseph Biden recount the
                             highlights of his military career 
 
By TheNewGuy on May 18, 2009 10:22 PM
Holy Smokes... Ted Knight from Caddyshack all the way
 
By Arditi on May 18, 2009 11:21 PM
  "...and thats' how you juggle Coke cans!  haha..ha...   All...righty now...who wants to test the Vice-President's guns!?  I've been doing a bit of the Nordic Track back home and...I...think I can take any pussy here!  Who's first!?"
 
By Daniel on May 19, 2009 3:28 AM
"God love you boys, but really, Seals are cute and fuzzy when they're only this big. Really. And you boys are a lot bigger than that. ... oh, god love ya, ... what am I saying?"

While blond dude in front, second from right is thinking, "One more minute of this and I'm ringing that damn bell."
 
By Bob on May 19, 2009 5:41 AM
"And we flew in on this plane with propellers spinning like this, and the sound was like, Wiiirrrrrr!"
 
By BillT on May 19, 2009 6:47 AM
"...and wearing the Interceptor vest under your shirt and jacket buffs you up and *still* protects you against swine flu."
 
By Fishmugger on May 19, 2009 8:19 AM
"So I visit the Castle on a regular basis and John my good friend lets me shoot his guns and Beth, his wife makes me an omelet."
 
By Mahlon on May 19, 2009 8:59 AM
"Bob Uecker thought the seals would love a good fish story."
 
By Glenn on May 19, 2009 11:27 AM
Bubble over one of the guys in the front row: "I thoght Obama said no torture in his administration."
 
By Tom on May 19, 2009 4:04 PM
How would you describe the look on almost every one of their faces?  Utter disdain, disgust?  It sure as hell isn't respectful awe or enthusiastic joy.   
 
By Spalding Smails on May 19, 2009 5:05 PM
Ahoy polloi... where did you come from, a scotch ad?
 
By Hank on May 20, 2009 11:40 AM
"I'm just telling you, I'm not an Asshat, I'm not an Asshat, and I've got a list of creditials this long to prove it. Wanna hear a few National Secrets boys?"