From a Canadian of our acquaintance:
See? To be really funny, a joke like that has to be believeable. And that one isn't.
<*koff*>
"Huh? They did what?"
"Heh."
"Never mind."
Bill replied along the lines of - "What makes that funny is that it's at least plausible, when thinking of the Navy and their quirky habits. Unlike, say, awarding Representative Murtha the "Distinguished Public Service Award. Nope, that just wouldn't be plausible. Nobody would believe that."RETIREMENT BONUS
The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body. The officer got to choose what those two points would be.
The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a hefty bonus of $72,000.
The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be Measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with a cool $96,000.
The third one was a noncommissioned officer, a grizzly old Chief who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, 'From the tip of my weenie to my testicles.'
It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big checks the previous two Officers had received.
But, the old Chief insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the measurement was taken by a Medical Officer.
The Medical Officer arrived and instructed the Chief to 'drop 'em', which he promptly did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chief's weenie and began to work back.
Dear Lord!' he suddenly exclaimed, 'Where ARE your testicles?'
The old Chief calmly replied, 'VietNam...'
See? To be really funny, a joke like that has to be believeable. And that one isn't.
<*koff*>
"Huh? They did what?"
"Heh."
"Never mind."
That second thing ain't a joke, it's a travesty. I expected the story to be posted at the Onion, where satire makes sense.
To the Old Chief, *Yeah*, he had a firm grasp of the "issues", if somebody tried to grab his, it didn't matter. He found the platinum lining in a dark cloud, forget the silver one.
And write to the new SecNav, Ray Mabus.
The petition is here.
http://www.petitiononline.com/usmc2009/petition.html
When I read it to Keith over the phone last week, he laughed, and wanted to know who wrote the joke. He seriously thought it was something from Leno or Jon Stewart. When I told him it wasn't a joke- it was real- he stopped laughing with a "you've got to be $HITTING ME". I wish I was.