A Conservative walked into a bar and asked the bartender, "Isn't that Jesus over there?"

When the bartender said "Yes," the Conservative said, "Send Him another of whatever He's drinking. Put it on my tab."

A little later a Libertarian walked in. "Say," he said, "Isn't that Jesus sitting over there?"

The barman said, "Yes," so the Libertarian sent over a hamburger.

Presently a Liberal showed up, noticed Jesus and sent over a plate of French fries.

Jesus finished his meal and got up to leave. On his way out he stopped to talk to the Conservative. "Thanks for the drink," he said; "It was really good. Is there anything I can do for you?"

"Well," said the Conservative, "I'm facing knee surgery tomorrow, and I’d truly appreciate it if you kept me in your thoughts..."

"Don't say another word," said Jesus as he laid a hand on the man's knee. "You are healed."

Jesus came to the Libertarian and said, "Thanks for the hamburger. It was really good. Is there anything I can do for you?"

"Well," said the Libertarian, "I have cataracts, and I’m going for surgery tomorrow. I’d very much appreciate it if you kept me in your thoughts..."

Jesus placed his fingers on the man's eyes and said, "Say no more. You are healed."

Finally, Jesus came to the Liberal. “Thanks for the fries," he said; "They were really good. Is there anything I can do for you?"

"Don't touch me!" shouted the Liberal, "I'm on Disability!!"