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Mixing Religion and Politics

By Bill on March 23, 2009 | | Comments (19)
Makin' the rounds in the VietVet community:

A Conservative walked into a bar and asked the bartender, "Isn't that Jesus over there?"

When the bartender said "Yes," the Conservative said, "Send Him another of whatever He's drinking. Put it on my tab."

A little later a Libertarian walked in. "Say," he said, "Isn't that Jesus sitting over there?"

The barman said, "Yes," so the Libertarian sent over a hamburger.

Presently a Liberal showed up, noticed Jesus and sent over a plate of French fries.

Jesus finished his meal and got up to leave. On his way out he stopped to talk to the Conservative. "Thanks for the drink," he said; "It was really good. Is there anything I can do for you?"

"Well," said the Conservative, "I'm facing knee surgery tomorrow, and I’d truly appreciate it if you kept me in your thoughts..."

"Don't say another word," said Jesus as he laid a hand on the man's knee. "You are healed."

Jesus came to the Libertarian and said, "Thanks for the hamburger. It was really good. Is there anything I can do for you?"

"Well," said the Libertarian, "I have cataracts, and I’m going for surgery tomorrow. I’d very much appreciate it if you kept me in your thoughts..."

Jesus placed his fingers on the man's eyes and said, "Say no more. You are healed."

Finally, Jesus came to the Liberal. “Thanks for the fries," he said; "They were really good. Is there anything I can do for you?"

"Don't touch me!" shouted the Liberal, "I'm on Disability!!"
H/t to The Other Bill

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19 Comments

By Old Dog on March 23, 2009 3:58 AM
Well, the only thing I cannot believe is that the Liberal sent the fries without putting them on someone else's bill!  :)
 
By Josh on March 23, 2009 4:02 AM
Nonsense Old Dog, the Liberal saw a man in sandals with shaggy hair and thought he was supporting a brother Hippie's freeloading lifestyle.  It's merely a case of mistaken identity...
 
By John of Argghhh! on March 23, 2009 6:35 AM
Hmmmmm.  [Checks deposit records]

Hmmm again.

"Touch Bill!"
 
By Cricket on March 23, 2009 6:53 AM
bwahahaha!!!

 
By BillT on March 23, 2009 6:57 AM
If that's a memo to yerself, we *don't* have that kind of relationship...
 
By John of Argghhh! on March 23, 2009 10:31 AM
Ewwwww.  By yer own admission, you bring a whole new meaning to "crusty old phart."

I was just passing my "free healing" to you - as a favor to KtLW.
 
By AFSister on March 23, 2009 10:33 AM
Wha???
You got a problem with 27" Zipper meeting #82??   Or should I say, "meating" #82??

People would pay big money for that, Bill.
 
By John of Argghhh! on March 23, 2009 10:45 AM
They'd pay *bigger* money to *prevent* it.
 
By BillT on March 23, 2009 1:08 PM
Eccch.

*pouring Lysol directly over cerebral cortex*
 
By AFSister on March 23, 2009 5:10 PM

So Bill- does that mean you're all piney-smellin' now?

 
By BillT on March 23, 2009 7:13 PM
Fishmugger would find *that* comment hilarious.
 
By Maggie on March 23, 2009 10:26 PM
Now hold on a cotton pickin' minute!  If we are calling dibs on who gets to touch what......I should have first choice since it's my birthday week.
 
By BillT on March 24, 2009 1:09 AM
*perk*

Aaaaand your first choice would be...?
 
By Maggie on March 24, 2009 3:45 PM

My Darling Chief - Of course it would be you! 

It's chilly in Boston.  Can I pop over there and warm my hands?

 
By BillT on March 24, 2009 4:15 PM
Why, certainly!

There's not much room in the hootch, but you can have the spot on the cot next to the space heater. Ummmmm -- lemme move my socks first, I just did a small batch of laundry...
 
By Maggie on March 24, 2009 4:40 PM
LOL!  Socks?  Small batch of laundry?  Is that service wide, or just a Navy joke?
 
By BillT on March 24, 2009 4:46 PM
Heh. I was wondering if you'd get it.

It's not service-wide, it's just a really *old* joke. I first heard it in high school -- and we didn't even *have* a Navy back then.

Water hadn't been invented yet.
 
By Maggie on March 24, 2009 10:34 PM
Did I score points?
 
By BillT on March 25, 2009 12:39 AM
Certainly!

Now I'll try to work in additional punchlines without sending PG-17d off the deep end.