Comments for Why Womyn Should Avoid A Girls Night Out After They Are Married.....

Why Womyn Should Avoid A Girls Night Out After They Are Married.....

2009-01-14T13:12:56Z

I don't care who you are... this is funny... overhead in the Denizenne's Den (aka the Jungle Room)...

The other night I was invited out for a night with the 'girls.' I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, 'I promise!' Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily. Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him. (Even when totally smashed.. 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos =MIDNIGHT!)

The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, I told him 'MIDNIGHT'... he didn't seem peeved in the least.. Whew, I got away with that one! Then he said 'We need a new cuckoo clock.' When I asked him why, he said, 'Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said 'oh crap.' Cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted.

I'm guessing Carrie, Barb, or Cassie...

Comment from Josh on 2009-01-15

2009-01-16T05:06:40Z

Sending this to my mother...

Comment from Barb on 2009-01-14

2009-01-15T05:12:10Z

Coffee table is in the TV room, no where near door or stairs to bedroom. And I don't have a cuckoo clock. If such a thing were to be in my house, it would no longer be able to Cuckoo, because I'd have killed it the first night. No Cuckoos, chirps, bells or other noise-making clocks allowed.
(I know, add it to the quirk list. Oh, wait - I hafta write it first!)

Comment from Carrie on 2009-01-14

2009-01-15T00:57:11Z

The rules of plausible deniablilty..
1.Admit nothing
2. Deny everyting.
3. Make counter accusations...

Done, done and done.

Comment from BillT on 2009-01-14

2009-01-14T22:41:08Z

...but The Princess owns neither a coffee table nor a cuckoo clock.

Listed under the Spousal Unit's name, eh?

Good ol' "Plausible Deniability"...

Comment from Mrs G on 2009-01-14

2009-01-14T21:15:01Z

My other comment with links worked.

Pickin them off one by one, Oh Barb where are you?

Comment from John of Argghhh! on 2009-01-14

2009-01-14T21:04:25Z

Ya musta put links in it, Mrs. G.

As for the rest of the Harridan Horde, I sense a desperation that mires them in pointing out details while ignoring the larger picture...

I am *so* going to pay for that.

Comment from Mrs G on 2009-01-14

2009-01-14T20:51:28Z

My lastest comment in moderation? hmmm?

Comment from Cassandra on 2009-01-14

2009-01-14T20:47:05Z

Well I hate to disappoint you all, but The Princess owns neither a coffee table nor a cuckoo clock. Do have a grandfather clock, but it isn't running at present.

Comment from Mrs G on 2009-01-14

2009-01-14T20:47:04Z

More examples of flouncing. Must be hard to flounce around and not hit coffee tables. ;P

Comment from Mrs G on 2009-01-14

2009-01-14T20:22:16Z

Aha, suspects are narrowing. Now Cass does an awful lot of flouncing. May need to look into that ;P
See you all in D.C. We'll re-enact the events prior to the crime . :)

Comment from mike mariani on 2009-01-14

2009-01-14T20:21:49Z

Reminds me of an old disclamation: "I did NOT stagger. In fact, I'd have been fine if Nick hadn't stepped on my hand."

Comment from Sgt. B. on 2009-01-14

2009-01-14T20:06:55Z

::holding head::

I just went on the link ricochet from Hades! Dumped me right back here... Ya'll ought not to do that to a body...

Comment from BillT on 2009-01-14

2009-01-14T19:45:34Z

Methinks *someone* doth protest too much.

And Brab is being uncharacteristically silent. Ummmmm -- okay, *not* uncharacteristically. But she may just be planning to announce it with her other ~~five~~ eleven quirks...

Comment from AFSister on 2009-01-14

2009-01-14T19:18:27Z

I don't own a coffee table either- it's a huge, nice, comfy stuffed ottoman. Very easy on the chins and shins- sorry Bill.

Comment from HomefrontSix on 2009-01-14

2009-01-14T19:10:47Z

We don't own a coffee table. And besides, I'm usually the one that stays SOBER so I can take keys away from people that shouldn't be driving.

In addition, when I *do* get drunk, there is no stumbling. Dancing on tables, perhaps. But no stumbling. Don't believe me? I'll see you in D.C. in April. You can see for yourself.

Comment from Carrie on 2009-01-14

2009-01-14T18:11:55Z

Mrs. G.
I don't even own a cuckoo clock. Don't have a curfew either...:)

Comment from WereKitten on 2009-01-14

2009-01-14T17:57:22Z

I never stumble in late and drunk.... I SWING in late and drunk.
duh.

BTW, HL- AFSis and Maggie need to be included in those lessons, as anyone at the Milblog Conference can attest to. There's just no such thing as drunk AND sexy...

Comment from Mrs G on 2009-01-14

2009-01-14T17:39:21Z

Now my computer screen needs cleaning, hilarious. Looks to me that Carries is trying to turn the focus to others, hmmmm?

Comment from Heartless Libertarian on 2009-01-14

2009-01-14T16:32:27Z

Well, Mrs HL's 'Moms group' is going to a pole dancing class this weekend...and the Mrs is hacked off because she can't go - spinning around a pole being difficult when you're 34 weeks preggers, apparently.

Which also means she's not downing margaritas and coming home late, either.

Comment from BillT on 2009-01-14

2009-01-14T15:53:09Z

Okay, now that we've narrowed it down, we just have to check the trash haulers to find out which one recently tossed out a cuckoo clock or examine shins for evidence of recent bruising.

Time-stamped pictures of unbruised bare legs will be evidence of innocence.

Time stamped pictures of bare legs that go all the way up to thong level will be adjudged proof-positive of innocence.

You have my e-mail addy...

Comment from John of Argghhh! on 2009-01-14

2009-01-14T15:49:43Z

Actually, from personally observed behavior, HF6 would be the *Prime* candidate. Well, and Werekitty.

Guaran-dam-tee-ya the one it *isn't*.

Princess Crabby. She'd *flaunt* her entry under those conditions and *dare* a comment.

Comment from Cassandra on 2009-01-14

2009-01-14T15:49:22Z

*Ladies* do not "fart".

There are times when atmospheric conditions require that we make certain "adjustments" to equalize the relative barometric pressure of the earth's fragile ecosystem relative to less than optimal internal conditions imposed upon us by the domineering patriarchal hegemony.

A small matter which you knuckle draggers should be thankful for. But then you knew that :p

/flouncing away, trivet at the ready

Comment from Carrie on 2009-01-14

2009-01-14T15:22:40Z

So dead. So very, very dead.

AND you left out two other possible candidates: HF6 and DL Sly.

Comment from Cricket on 2009-01-14

2009-01-14T15:22:17Z

I actually read this to the Engineer and the CLUs. They all (except for the youngest one) got it. Thanks for the laugh!