Comments for There's Hope for You Yet, Bill...

There's Hope for You Yet, Bill...

Sat, 29 Nov 2008 08:48:32 -0600

Now's your chance, dude....

Comment from AFSister on 2008-12-01

Mon, 01 Dec 2008 13:50:12 -0600

*waves*
HI TWIN!

I loved going to the Intrepid, knowing that your whirly was onboard. That was cool. Next time, you'll have to go with me though!

Comment from BillT on 2008-11-30

Sun, 30 Nov 2008 07:09:31 -0600

I landed on the bow of the Intrepid -- crossways. And stayed put.

*waving hi to lex*

Guaranteed I've *landed* -- and stayed put -- on more different types of boats than any Nasal Respirator, except for maybe the guys in HAL-3 based at SeaFloat.

Comment from SangerM on 2008-11-30

Sun, 30 Nov 2008 02:20:46 -0600

I took the FAST test in '80, around the same time I took the Defense Language Aptitude Battery. I did well on both, but the DLAB came back first, so I applied for and was accepted into the Bear Program (DLI, then re-enlistment as if I'd had the MOS the whole time). When the FAST results came back I tried to switch to WOC applicant for flight-school, but no Joy on that. And so, instead of earning rotary-wing airplane driver wings (just in time to have the blades taken off the Blackhawks for half a year), I ended up with crew-member wings for a stint as NCOIC of a EH-1 (Huey) QuickFix platoon in the FRG. They shine-up nice, but it's just not the same....

As for Navy helos, who'd want to land one on something that comes up to meet you unless you have one of those deck-harpoon thingy's for winching yourself down.... :-)

Comment from BillT on 2008-11-30

Sun, 30 Nov 2008 01:04:56 -0600

I exaggerated not one whit. The entire episode unfolded exactly as I described it -- sometimes, the humor just writes itself.

The thing I considered most amusing -- having to take the Flight Aptitude Suitability Test.

The FAST was designed in WWII to see if high school kids who had never driven a car had

1. the mechanical aptitude to figure out which way a cable would be moving after traveling through a series of pulleys,
2. what an airplane would be doing if you moved the control stick a particular way, and

3. whether they could calculate simple results from simple algebraic equations.

However, he should have asked me to search you.

If he'd done that, you'd be calling me "Captain" today.

Prolly wouldn't have *been* one, but you could've called me that....

Ummmm -- scratch that. You'd a-been about two years old back then.

Comment from Maggie on 2008-11-29

Sat, 29 Nov 2008 16:44:32 -0600

That was a ridiculously exaggerated story............of course he was right to be suspicious of you.....you are a suspicious character.

However, he should have asked me to search you.

Comment from Olga on 2008-11-29

Sat, 29 Nov 2008 16:40:25 -0600

I have to admit that you got me with that article LOL until the first sentence of the 2nd paragraph LOL
Gosh, it was hilarious!

Comment from BillT on 2008-11-29

Sat, 29 Nov 2008 16:22:13 -0600

Nope, he wasn't an ossifer. However, while we were reviewing the current list of openings I had qualified for, he *did* mention that I'd be suitable for NFO. I said, "That's the guy who flies in the back seat, right?" He said, "Yes." I said, "So, I'm too old to fly in a jet in the front seat, but I'm not too old to fly in a jet in the *back* seat?"

Swear to heaven above on a stack of Holy Writ, he answered, "Yes."

Comment from Attila of Argghhh! on 2008-11-29

Sat, 29 Nov 2008 15:26:16 -0600

Now THAT'S funny! And just as scary. What was this guy's rank? Bosun's Buggerymate Third Class, or what? Puh-leease tell me he wasn't an ossifer. Did he know what a helicopter was? Hint: Do NOT use the term "rotary wing aircraft"--takes too many brain bytes for most people to deduce what that means.

Comment from BillT on 2008-11-29

Sat, 29 Nov 2008 15:16:19 -0600

Nah. The Navy never *did* learn what helicopters are for and they still use 'em improperly -- except when they're hauling some guy out of the drink because the fire on his flaming broomstick went out.

And, I blush to admit it, I actually *did* put in for a position as a Navy helicopter pilot in 1975.

1. I brought all my military records and pointed out that I already *was* a helicopter pilot -- with combat experience, with a commission. The 'cruiter didn't know how to read a DD-214, which was my first clue.

2. The 'cruiter insisted I take the Flight Aptitude Suitability Test, and cautioned me that I only had an hour to complete it. I finished it in 10 minutes. And got a perfect score. Which disconcerted him, and he insisted on examining the desk I sat at (which was right in front of him) for evidence of illicit materials -- such as, a previous examinee having carved the answers into the desktop.

3. He then informed me that, at the advanced age of 29, I was too *old* to fly jets. I reiterated that I didn't want to fly jets because jets were sissy stuff -- I was applying for a position as a *helicopter* pilot. He was adamant that I was too old to go through the requisite rotary wing training. I informed him that I had already *had* the requisite rotary wing training, and then he said that I was too old to fly jets.

My previously-held opinion -- that a beached squid was just a single intellectual step removed from a planaria -- having now been validated, I smiled, thanked him politely, and vowed to avoid any professional ties with an organization that wore trap-door pants and danced with Marines.

Comment from Maggie on 2008-11-29

Sat, 29 Nov 2008 14:29:35 -0600

My Dalring Chief........it's your chance to upgrade your branch of military service.

Comment from BillT on 2008-11-29

Sat, 29 Nov 2008 13:41:39 -0600

Oh, geez -- she found the webcam's a two-way hookup...

Comment from DL Sly on 2008-11-29

Sat, 29 Nov 2008 12:32:40 -0600

Bill's not interested in that. Too much *starch* -- chafes his ......................... zipper.
0>;~}

Comment from BillT on 2008-11-29

Sat, 29 Nov 2008 10:26:16 -0600

Awwww -- and here I thought you were linking to Sly's webcam.

The one she *doesn't* know about.