There's Hope for You Yet, Bill...

Awwww -- and here I thought you were linking to Sly's webcam.

The one she *doesn't* know about.

Oh, geez -- she found the webcam's a two-way hookup...

Nah. The Navy never *did* learn what helicopters are for and they still use 'em improperly -- except when they're hauling some guy out of the drink because the fire on his flaming broomstick went out.

And, I blush to admit it, I actually *did* put in for a position as a Navy helicopter pilot in 1975.

1. I brought all my military records and pointed out that I already *was* a helicopter pilot -- with combat experience, with a commission. The 'cruiter didn't know how to read a DD-214, which was my first clue.

2. The 'cruiter insisted I take the Flight Aptitude Suitability Test, and cautioned me that I only had an hour to complete it. I finished it in 10 minutes. And got a perfect score. Which disconcerted him, and he insisted on examining the desk I sat at (which was right in front of him) for evidence of illicit materials -- such as, a previous examinee having carved the answers into the desktop.

3. He then informed me that, at the advanced age of 29, I was too *old* to fly jets. I reiterated that I didn't want to fly jets because jets were sissy stuff -- I was applying for a position as a *helicopter* pilot. He was adamant that I was too old to go through the requisite rotary wing training. I informed him that I had already *had* the requisite rotary wing training, and then he said that I was too old to fly jets.

My previously-held opinion -- that a beached squid was just a single intellectual step removed from a planaria -- having now been validated, I smiled, thanked him politely, and vowed to avoid any professional ties with an organization that wore trap-door pants and danced with Marines.

Nope, he wasn't an ossifer. However, while we were reviewing the current list of openings I had qualified for, he *did* mention that I'd be suitable for NFO. I said, "That's the guy who flies in the back seat, right?" He said, "Yes." I said, "So, I'm too old to fly in a jet in the front seat, but I'm not too old to fly in a jet in the *back* seat?"

Swear to heaven above on a stack of Holy Writ, he answered, "Yes."

That was a ridiculously exaggerated story............of course he was right to be suspicious of you.....you are a suspicious character. 

However, he should have asked me to search you.

I took the FAST test in '80, around the same time I took the Defense Language Aptitude Battery.  I did well on both, but the DLAB came back first, so I applied for and was accepted into the Bear Program (DLI, then re-enlistment as if I'd had the MOS the whole time).  When the FAST results came back I tried to switch to WOC applicant for flight-school, but no Joy on that.  And so, instead of earning rotary-wing airplane driver wings (just in time to have the blades taken off the Blackhawks for half a year), I ended up with crew-member wings for a stint as NCOIC of a EH-1 (Huey) QuickFix platoon in the FRG.  They shine-up nice, but it's just not the same.... 

As for Navy helos, who'd want to land one on something that comes up to meet you unless you have one of those deck-harpoon thingy's for winching yourself down....  :-)

*waves*
HI TWIN!

I loved going to the Intrepid, knowing that your whirly was onboard.  That was cool.  Next time, you'll have to go with me though!