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Round Four

I think I’ve got a pretty good sense for the absurd, but I couldn’t get this loony if I went without sleep for a week (and I have -- on several occasions).

Rounds One, Two and Three are here. I’ll hang loose until you catch up...

Got all that? Okay, here’s Round Four:

Subject: RE: Last Notice Action Required - CAC Reverification Warning - ticket [redacted]

From: [pentagonal dot mil addy redacted]

Date: Wednesday, June 11, 2008 10:35 [note the date]

To: [my dot mil addy redacted] , [same pentagonal dot mill addy redacted – yup, I guess they wanted an extra e-mail to build up their hit count]

William Tuttle:

Reply to email received on 05-27-08: [remember I told you to note the date?]

1. In most case a CAC Sponsorship Transfer Email is sent when a contractor is reassigned to another TA. Most sites have their own way outside of the CAC Sponsorship Transfer Email of informing the contractors of a transfer.

Ah. But that’s not what transpired. I wasn’t notified (and neither was my employer) that my Trusted Agent had been transferred. Matter of fact, the e-grams in Rounds One through Three were *addressed* to that transferred TA and the subject was, “Hey, TA -- verify that this guy tuttle (no caps -- how gauche) is still a contractor.”

No notice to my employer. No query to *me*. Just an order to the TA.

Who had already been transferred.

2. DOD require [sic] all contractors approved in CVS must be reverified every six months for their continued need for a CAC and affiliation with DOD.

Okay. I’m cool with that. It’s probably a good idea to check up on us contractor parasites just to make sure we haven’t done anything subversive -- such as return to Private Citizen Status without notifying the TA (that we’re unaware we have) via e-mail (which the TA apparently doesn’t even have to open). Although, since I'm a retiree, my continued "need for affiliation with DOD" is pretty much a given. Until I hit the brass rail at Fiddler's Green, anyway.

3. Your contract record, benefits and CAC will be terminated in DEERS. Your information will still be in DEERS but it will be terminated. [No signature block and minus the electron-waste of “Questions may be sent to redacted pentagonal dot etc." closing]

Ummmm – parsing that.

So far, I get “We’re flushing your contractor info from DEERS but we’re not flushing it. In other words, it will not be flushed, but it will be flushed.”

"This parrot's dead." "'T isn't."

My reply (and you just *knew* there would be):

Subject: Re: RE: Last Notice Action Required - CAC Reverification Warning - ticket [redacted]

From: [my dot mil addy redacted]

Date: Thursday, June 12, 2008 6:33

To: [pentagonal dot mil addy redacted]

Thank you.

However, I'd *still* like a response to my e-mail of 28 May in which I informed whomever at the help desk opens the e-mail that I had already accomplished the re-verification *prior* to the 30 May deadline to preclude my contractor data from being terminated.

V/r,

Bill Tuttle

Okay, [pentagonal dot mil addy redacted], the ball’s back in your court and I’m anticipating your reply to my 28 May e-gram sometime before the end of June. Meantime, if my CAC turns up hot during any of the checks around here, you can anticipate receiving a lot of e-mails with the subject line of Drearley Most beloveed You need Litlet bleu pill mAke stiCker peCk up.

A *lot* of them….

8 Comments

I just love Bureaucracy. It smells like Idiots in the Morning.
 
Can we have that email in triplicate?
 
Sure, kat. One at a time, all three consecutively or should I send you a cover with one as a .doc, one as a .jpeg and one as a .pdf?
 
One thing I got away from fairly quickly as an O-6 ALO was closing with "V/R." I have very little respect for buffoonery, especially when it comes to USARMY administration. They (and I didn't care who "they" were) want my respect? Then earn it. Otherwise, "Sincerely" works just fine. Can you find an O-6 with a brain around there to help un-f**k this?
 
I use V/r as "Virtually retired." In this case, it's "Vituperatively resentful"... Working on locating an O-6 with a brain who can unfark the situation, but the *Air Force* runs this place...
 
If they don't unfark this soon, they will need someone to fill your duties. I suggest the farking idiot (and/or their boss). Let them teach the Iraqis to fly whop-whops and not prang any of the birds in the process. Please provide their unredacted address if it comes to that, so we can all help with their education and shopping needs. IDIOTS! The one thing I don't miss!
 
BillT, As my Father, said in the past, "Government wanted a perfectly square building, this is how we got the Pentagon." You figure it out. Grumpy
 
BillT, As my Father, said in the past, "Government wanted a perfectly square building, this is how we got the Pentagon." You figure it out. Grumpy