From: [pentagonal addy redacted]

Date: Monday, May 12, 2008 11:07

To: [my dot-mil addy redacted], [somebody else’s dot-mil addy redacted]

Cc: [my dot-mil addy redacted] (yup – I’m primary *and* secondary recipient)

Dear [somebody else’s name redacted],

This message has been sent to remind you the prescribed time to re-verify contractor (william tuttle) has arrived. Please complete the verification process as prescribed.
For the Contractor [IOW, * me *] -- there is NO ACTION required on your part [their emphasis -- remember that] unless you are aware that your TA above has changed. If your TA has changed, please ensure they get a copy of this message.

Questions may be sent via email to: [pentagonal addy redacted]

CVS [my note: Contractor Verification System -- I think. Vivisection, maybe?] TA [my note: Trusted Authority, gutter-mind!] Web Site [redacted]

Now, the only time I knew the outfit I work for had a TA (the Sergeant Located At A Fort Somewhere who processes contractor Common Access Card applications) was when I got a hotlink in an e-gram that said, "Go here and fill this out." For those who aren't familiar with the Common Access Card -- hereinafter referred to as a CAC (pronounced like a cat horking a hairball) -- it's the "Hall Pass" that tells Big Brother you are Who You Are, that you are allowed to be Where You Are and you have permission to be Doing What You're Doing.

No CAC, no entry to anywhere the military is. As in, *any*where. Especially *here*...

Okay, so the head's-up e-gram from the TA site said I didn't have to do a thing unless I *knew* my TA had been replaced. Seemed a bit odd to me, since I didn't know I still *had* a TA and I figured the TA Main Office would have a better handle on their TAs' whereabouts than I would. Finally, the only way I'd know that the TA-I-didn't-know-I-had *had* been replaced would be if I'd gotten an e-mail from either her or her replacement announcing the momentous event.

But I'm only a dumb contractor. Whaddoo I know.

Subject: Last Notice Action Required - CAC Reverification Warning

From: [pentagonal addy redacted]

Date: Tuesday, May 20, 2008 6:00

To: [my dot-mil addy redacted], [somebody else’s dot-mil addy redacted]

Cc: [my dot-mil addy redacted] (yup – I’m still primary *and* secondary recipient)

Dear [somebody else’s name redacted],

This message has been sent to remind you the prescribed time to re-verify contractor (william tuttle) has arrived and that that action needs immediate attention. Please complete the verification process as prescribed. The time allotted for you to complete the verification will expire on 5/30/08 12:00 AM at which time the contractors Defense Enrollment Eligibility Reporting Service record will be terminated. [my note: Okay, *that* got my attention. I'm a retiree -- *all* my records are DEERS-based.]
For the Contractor--there is NO ACTION required on your part unless you are aware that your TA above has changed. If your TA has changed, please ensure they get a copy of this message. [my note: Hey, TA-guys -- TA-bilong-TA-Main hasn't answered two sternly-worded TA Main e-mails and you're asking *me* to send her a note?]

Questions may be sent via email to: [pentagonal addy redacted]

CVS TA Web Site [redacted]

"Questions may be sent via email"

Okay, so TA Main is snarling at their TA, but *I'm* the one gonna be bitten, so I think it's time for some action on my part, despite the *Contractor -- TAKE NO ACTION* directive in both preceding e-grams.

Subject: Re: Last Notice Action Required - CAC Reverification Warning

From: [my dot-mil addy redacted]

Date: Tuesday, May 27, 2008 5:25

To: [pentagonal addy redacted]

To Whom, etc.;

Reference the text in the forwarded message and your kind offer should I have questions -- yes, I have some questions:

1. I am presently deployed to Iraq and internet connection is spotty at times. I haven’t had contact with my TA except through a hot link directly to my CAC application (November 2007) for this contract – how do I find out if my TA has changed, if not by e-mail?

2. My CAC is valid until 30 November 2008. Is there a six-month review of contractor status?

3. If my TA [my note: Remember -- at this point, neither TA Main nor I have the *slightest idea* of the status of "my" TA] fails to act before the deadline, what information will be "terminated" from my DEERS file?

V/r,

Bill Tuttle

Chirp. Chirp.

"Questions may be sent" evidently does not mean "questions will be answered."

Subject: FWD: Re: Last Notice Action Required - CAC Reverification Warning

From: [my work addy redacted]

Date: Tuesday, May 27, 2008 5:35

To: [my PM’s work addy redacted]

Boss,

See attachment. Is [military rank and name redacted] still our TA? If so, she needs to act ASAP -- if not, the new TA will need to act ASAP.

Thanks,

Bill

Subject: CAC Renewal From: [my PM's work addy redacted]

Date: Tuesday, May 27, 2008 13:32

To: [my work addy redacted], [‘nother contractor’s work addy redacted], [stella ‘nother contractor’s work addy redacted]

Guys,

Here are your three renewals, need to complete ASAP; log on at CVS TA Web Site [redacted]

[UserIDs and PWs redacted]

This should take of your CAC issue.

Stay cool (ha!)

[PM's name redacted]

Subject: Re: CAC Renewal

From: [my work addy redacted]

Date: Wednesday, May 28, 2008 3:44

To: [my PM's work addy redacted]

Done! Thanks!

So, I got the renewal done (odd, since the card I *have* doesn't expire for another six months) under the wire, despite *not* having to have taken any action (I didn't find out our previous TA got transferred a few months ago until I filled out the app, which I wouldn't have been able to do unless I'd -- eh. Never mind) and there is now Great Joy In Mudville, right?

Subject: Contractor Reverification CAC Expiration

From: [pentagonal addy redacted]

Date: Saturday, May 31, 2008 4:12

To: [my dot-mil addy redacted], [dot-mil addy of former TA who’s been in some other job for three months redacted]

Cc: [dot-mil addy of former TA who’s been in some other job for three months redacted]

Dear [name of former TA who’s been in some other job for three months redacted],

The time allotted to verify contractor william tuttle has expired. As a result, that account has been revoked and the Defense Enrollment Eligibility Reporting System has been updated to reflect the change.

Questions may be sent via email to: [pentagonal addy redacted]

Yeah, I've got a question: "Does CVS TA determine a contractor's status by actually examining said contractor's completed application or by waiting to see if someone who may -- or may not -- be a TA replies to an e-mail?"

I'm *really* tempted to send [pentagonal addy redacted] to the largest internet café in Lagos, Nigeria, with a "Spam Me" sign stuck to its back.

Heh. Just. Plain. Farkin'. Heh...