LOST

I’m lost. Well and truly lost.

How could it be this dark out? It’s only a little after seven. And the wind! This dust blowing -- I can’t see more than fifty feet…

She walked slowly along the roadside, stopping every so often to look around for something she remembered seeing before. And seeing nothing but the sand.

I haven’t seen anything I recognize! Lost. I’m lost.

She hadn’t even seen a T-barrier in the last ten minutes...

My first day here, and I’m lost. And I don’t know if anybody even knows I’m out here…

Thank God the road is paved. If I keep following it -- what if it stops? What if it turns? Whywhywhy didn’t I leave the chow hall with the other guys?

The road abruptly turned to gravel and the dust storm abruptly turned worse.

Okay, don’t panic, she thought. I don’t remember any stretch of gravel, but maybe I just walked a little bit too far--

Barbed wire? Omigod -- I'm on the perimeter! Okay, now's the time to panic! Waitaminnit -- that looks like a light! It is! There’s a light over there! Pleasepleaseplease let it mean there’s a person there, a real person, not just a security light! It’s so dark out here…

A window! I can see desks and computers! There’s somebody working in there! Window’s too dusty, I can’t see who -- oooooh, there’s the door!

She tried the door and found it unlocked. She peered in and --

“Hello? Can you help me?”

-- promptly jolted the daylights out of me. I turned away from the class I was preparing and saw an armed Munchkin in full body armor, standing just inside the door, fetchingly shedding dust all over my rucksack.

"I'm lost."

"No, you're *found*. The hard part's over -- all we have to do now is get you from here to where you're supposed to be."

Well, it took a lot of backtracking and some judicious enroute questioning (“Okay, do you remember *anything at all* about what’s around your hootch? Ummmmm, *aside* from the 12-foot T-barriers?”), but eventually we figured out where she’d made the wrong turn. I calculated a correction for wind drift, sand drift, and spindrift and had her back home less than half an hour after she'd interrupted my class prep.

By the time I'd walked back to the office, the nightly "Turn Off the Generator to Conserve Energy" time had kicked in, so I *still* have to finish that class. 'Nother prime example of the dictum that no good deed goes unpunished.

John ‘n’ SWWBO get furry refugees from the storm showing up on the Castle doorstep in the middle of the night.

I get li’l Navy chicks on their first deployment with no sense of direction showing up on mine.

Heh. Sometimes 27 trumps 82.

And, no, Cassie, I didn’t ask if she was wearing a thong.

Hmmpf. “All we can say is that we're hoping Bill will run out of ammunition soon...” How droll…

27 Comments

Bill, it’s lonely at the top… or something like that.
 
Broad shoulders, Ledger, broad shoulders. Yeesh. Watch the Usual Suspects turn *that* into something that'll send PG-17c into spazz mode...
 
Yanno... if this keeps up these posts are going to need their own category :p
 
Hmmmm -- "Thongs of Innocence and Experience"...
 
I could find my way back home And never have to roam If I only had a thong.... I'd be happy, there's not middle I'd be singing as a fiddle If I only had a thong (off to see the wizard)
 
One thing is for certain: Avec or Sans Thong, she surely had a gritty je ne sais quoi about her.
 
Sometiomes the sheepdog finds the sheep, sometimes the sheep find the sheepdog... (Note: No thong references... Proud o' me?)
 
...she surely had a gritty je ne sais quoi about her. And a certain air, too, Boq -- redolent of Kansas or Oklahoma in the Thirties. No thong references... Considering we'll be neighbors shortly, B., I figger you'll be spouting 'em after a month or so. Hey! Cassie'll be able to feed straight lines to *both* of us, then...
 
What? No pictures of your Veronica? For shame, what kind of imbedded journalist are you? :)
 
...imbedded Who's in bed?
 
"Broad shoulders..." Well, I guess something has to hold up the waistband. *skipping away through the trees and breeze* 0>;~}
 
SCOOOOOORE! I lured Sly to the Dark Side! However, she's evidently forgotten why PhotoShop was invented...
 
What? No pictures of your Veronica? Ummmm, you call yours *Veronica*...?
 
Snerk. I wonder how many Googlehits we're going to get for "Lost" and "Thong" and "Veronica"...
 
Who needs Photoshop when the *real* thing is sooo much more condemning.
 
Nope. I was referring to the "Mizz-Sly-as-a-chick-with-big-knockers" pic.
 
Ummmm, you call yours *Veronica*...? Actually I was reffering to women in uniform, and warrior women Maybe its just me but women in BDU's rock ALMOST as much as women in Wranglers But I digress.... ;)
 
Hey! I resemble that remark. 0>;~}
 
[PG-17c stirs uneasily in its charging cradle]
 
Sorry Bill, Sly's been on the Dark Side for a while. In fact, she's now a Dark Lord. You musta been too busy paying attention to *Veronica* to catch that...
 
Veronica???? Seems to me that Archie would be more fitting, whilst Veronica would be a better name for mine, considering that she's a Pussycat. hehe
 
What's new pussycat? Woah, Woah What's new pussycat? Woah, Woah Pussycat, Pussycat I've got flowers *meow*
 
"Sorry Bill, Sly's been on the Dark Side for a while. In fact, she's now a Dark Lord." *sigh* Oh well, at least I had a few hours of innocence once again.
 
...In fact, she's now a Dark Lord... Now, waitaminnit -- I detect the stench of historical revisionism! If memory serves me (and it *does*), the DL tag appeared during a certain VC comment stream that went something like: Cassie: "Dear Lord, Sly." Mizz Sly: "You meant 'Dear Lord Sly'." Or words to that effect. As HF6 so cogently reminds us, commas *are* important. Which is not really germane to the thread, but I haven't snarked her in a while. So, Mizz Sly isn't a *Dark* Lord, she's a *Dear* Lord. Arrun'chuh, Darlin' Lady...?
 
Heh. Finally got connectivity to HF6's link. Except Darth Tater looks more like a heavily-accessorized Easter egg. Which sorta completes the loop opened by the chick pic...
 
Actually, the conversation went something like this: Cass - "Dear Lord Sly," Me - "'Dear Lord Sly.' Oh, I like the sound of that.... 0>;~}" However, it seemed a bit pretentious if only ever so slightly less than accurate. 0>;~} Besides, Dark Lord Sly just rolls off the tongue as smoothly as frozen SoCo.
 
Dark Lord Sly just rolls off the tongue as smoothly as frozen SoCo. Ah -- you mean it *sings*! *********************** Sergeant Muldoon: Are you sure that's what he wanted? Colonel Mike Kirby: Affimative! Sergeant Muldoon: Maybe he liked so many guys thinking about him. Colonel Mike Kirby: Besides that... It SINGS! [exits] Sergeant Muldoon: [to himself] It sings? That's what he said. Provo's Privy -- it DOES sing! ********************** Heh...