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February 9, 2008

H&I* Fires, 09 FEB 2008

Open post for those with something to share, updated through the day. New, complete posts come in below this one. Note: If trackbacking, please acknowledge this post in your post. That's only polite.

You're advertising here, we should get an ad at your place...

Time to add a new caveat, because from email it's not clear to some folks (mind you, if you don't read this it won't matter...) Being an open post, people (collectively, the Denizens) other than I post in the H&I. They sign their work (most of the time) - keep that in mind when you want to flame someone in email please - if it doesn't say "The Armorer" or "John" then I didn't write it! And honestly - if you don't like something said or posted... leave a comment, and hash it out (within the context of The Rulez which are clearly posted on the comment form, I would add).

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Fuzzybear Lioness snarks the "New Man" in fashion. Hey, men's fashion models and women's fashion models are moving to be more and more interchangeable. Which arguably reflects the tastes of designers, and vapor-headed dolts (admittedly with more money than I have) who glom on to this stuff. Fuzzy even manages to snark the resident 27inch zipper. -the Armorer

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A report on the V-22 Osprey in Iraq.

Code Pink's next stunt? A nation-wide "Kiss In," encouraging more people to impede recruitment and remove the military from their community. It offers them opportunities to create clever signage such as “Don’t Enlist, Stay and Kiss! That way everyone makes out!” Personally, I prefer Nice Deb's counter-protest kissing slogan. - FbL

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Flash Traffic (extended entry) Follows... �

Reporting As Ordered, Sir! �

by Denizens on Feb 09, 2008 | General Commentary

How 'bout a coupla whatziss' for ya this weekend?

They might both be simple, they might both be difficult, depending on what you already know.

But heck, I have the most fun when you guys give up and start making stuff up, anyway.

This one, you might have seen before, in a couple of places.

Whatziss?

This one, while I know what it is - I'd never seen a picture of, before I stumbled across this one.

Whatziss?

You may commence.

Reporting As Ordered, Sir! �

by John on Feb 09, 2008 | I think it's funny!

Live from the CRC MWR Room

Today we start a new chapter in the ever-lengthening saga of "Twitchy Bill"...

Bill's Excellent Adventure, Iraq Chapter 2

Okay, after a solid week of getting refresher training in the military skills I *won't* be using in the sandbox (convoy security, IED marker recognition, treating sucking chest wounds, tactical interrogation of EPWs, how to contact the Chaplain), becoming re-introduced to the delights of the MRE and becoming a human pincushion (most of the stuff I got for PakTheStan was still good, but I got a second iteration of my third Hepatitis B -- the Jersey Guard gave me the first iteration in May of '04 but never entered the info in Big Brother's database), smallpox, anthrax #1, flu and three or four more sticks for things I never could pronounce anyway (hey, why not -- they were *free*...), I'm finally outta here. Even managed to get all my body armor and battle rattle into one duffle bag.

Of course, Delta's stats for losing my luggage favor them losing *both* hold bags this time. And they're about rdue for sending them to Philly via Anchorage -- again...

No pix (photography seriously verboten) and sorta-kinda lockdown, so I never even attempted to contact Madame Criquette and fambly (don't think they could have found the place and they close the gate after dark), but this place has been Old Home Week -- I bumped into a Hmong who was a kicker for Air America and sometimes made it into Can Tho when I was there, a guy who worked for Monmouth CSC when I was subbing for them and now works for BAE, a bunch of Titan linguists who knew some of the L-3 translators, some Blackwater and DynCorp guys who knew each other from the 82d and the 101st and a Northrop guy I met in Pakistan. Met dog-handlers, poppy-eradicators, cop-trainers, interpreters, linguists, IT geeks, Blackwater-types, a couple of other helicopter pilots, a guy who'll be giving classes on "How to be an Entrepreneur" out of the Iraqi-American Chamber of Commerce office and an AAFES managerial trainee who looks like he's still in grammar school.

Yeah, this job *definitely* beats raking leaves...

[Update: Bill also sent another missive which I will share in it's entirety:

Bloggable. If I start with an OPSEC header, it's Eyes Only, but if not, I already scrubbed it. Example follows...

[OPSEC] awwubf sd hie yhud fufb; eitj brty erll uio vhsnr ig ho rll likr domr;yhinh rrl hsye she ouf ehoy er nrhl yo drjj ypes vomrdhinh rldfr sdg druoddrf yo nr rtrf [/OPSEC].

-the Armorer

Reporting As Ordered, Sir! �

by John on Feb 09, 2008 | Bill's Excellent Adventure

February 8, 2008

H&I* Fires, 08 FEB 2008

Open post for those with something to share, updated through the day. New, complete posts come in below this one. Note: If trackbacking, please acknowledge this post in your post. That's only polite.

You're advertising here, we should get an ad at your place...

Time to add a new caveat, because from email it's not clear to some folks (mind you, if you don't read this it won't matter...) Being an open post, people (collectively, the Denizens) other than I post in the H&I. They sign their work (most of the time) - keep that in mind when you want to flame someone in email please - if it doesn't say "The Armorer" or "John" then I didn't write it! And honestly - if you don't like something said or posted... leave a comment, and hash it out (within the context of The Rulez which are clearly posted on the comment form, I would add).

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It must be the longest drive of your life, from Trenton to Toronto with a loved one or comrade-in-arms in the back of a hearse. This is what those who make that awful trip see out the windows. - Damian

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If you don't click on Damian's link - you are depriving yourself of something that shades to the sublime. -the Armorer

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Flash Traffic (extended entry) Follows... �

Reporting As Ordered, Sir! �

by Denizens on Feb 08, 2008 | General Commentary

Electile Disfunction Sufferers--take heart!

Exciting new breakthrough from BCR Labs-Biotech Division! [For Immediate Release]

Researchers have announced the development of a treatment for Electile Disfunction (ED). In recognition of the grave situation the FDA has waived all time-consuming requirements such as human double-blind trials and safety testing in an effort to get this drug to the countless millions of sufferers before the upcoming election.

[Ad Copy]
Do you suffer from flaccid political interest? Unable to function during caucuses, primaries, or even general elections? Have you noticed an inability to become excited or aroused by any of the candidates?

As voters become older and wiser many frequently find the thrill of voting, the heady feeling of changing the world won't rise to the occasion. Sometimes health issues, such as inability to forget prior candidate performance, can also inhibit spontaneity and pleasure.

I had such a severe case of ED I wasn't even interested in voting for myself! -- Bob Dole

It's embarrassing -- you've always considered yourself a stalwart citizen, firm in your beliefs, always ready to raise the standard of civic responsibility and stimulated by the energetic give-and-take of political debate, the penetrating analysis, the oral arguments, all culminating in waves of passionate support that crescendo to a final overwhelming conclusion.

But now you usually drift off to sleep before the debate has finished. You have no interest in initiating political discussions, evading questions with awkward excuses. Perhaps your spouse has discovered the pamphlets about Antarctic condos, the benefits of long-term hibernation, or the Popular Mechanics issue about converting old missile silos to comfortable bomb shelters.

Help is on the way! BCR Labs new biomedical division has worked feverishly through many long nights to develop GRAVITRA®, a safe and effective treatment for the tragedy of Electile Disfunction. GRAVITRA® allows you to sustain an interest in minutia when *you* feel the urge. No cumbersome electroshock equipment to spoil the mood! (See a doctor if effects last longer than four hours, or if you find any secret messages from the Illuminati while alphabetizing your kitchen cupboards). With GRAVITRA® everything the candidates do will be deliciously fraught with meaning! Long stump speeches will no longer provoke humiliating snores! You will enjoy elections again (and in Chicago, frequently!)

(GRAVITRA® is not for everyone. Patients accustomed to rational thought, philosophers, and individuals with a genetic propensity for common sense should use caution. Side effects include Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, anal-retentive behavior, and late-onset autism)

See your doctor for a prescription now! New patients are eligible for the BCR Labs GRAVITRA® Promotional Kit, with tools and suggestions for imaginative role-playing and decision-making.

--Bad Cat Robot, if you couldn't guess

[Coming Soon - ED Bumper Stickers and Shirts!]

Reporting As Ordered, Sir! �

by Denizens on Feb 08, 2008 | I think it's funny!

The Cod-liver Oil Election (military edition)

(Since Blogspot is blocked on military networks, I received permission from Our Glorious Leader to repost here. ) - Bad Cat Robot
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The Cod-Liver Oil Election

By which I mean, nobody is really looking forward to it. The rational know a) someone *will* be elected and b) it behooves us to pick the least of the manifold evils, but you just know even if you hold your nose and get the dose down in one gulp you'll still be burping Essence of Fish Entrails longer than you would think possible. Like many in the blogosphere, I have no patience with those who want to "send a message" by not voting or other such juvenalia. We have many means of communicating with our elected officials that can make quite clear they were only selected because the other options were worse. Ideally, voters would have the option of a "signing statement" to go along with their vote. E.g. "Joe Smith, I voted for you for the State Senate but don't think for a minute I approve of your brain-dead mandatory turtle adoption policy--your opponent's adopt-a-cobra plan was just worse."

(candidate-specific snark in the extended entry. At time of the original writing, Mitt was a condenda. My analysis, alas, stands.)

Flash Traffic (extended entry) Follows... �

Reporting As Ordered, Sir! �

by Denizens on Feb 08, 2008 | Citizenship

Walling Ourselves Into a Hole

[Kat]

Now I'm going to say something completely out of line with a number of readers and posters. Remember, if you've got a complaint, don't email the owner of this blog, leave it in comments. He does not pre-approve my posts. Much to the pain of some folks here. Just take a lesson from Heath You-Know-Who and don't mix your oxycotin with your anti-depressants.

I do not support building a wall across our borders.

I do not support rounding up whatever illegals we can find and spending billions of dollars to send them all home (or as many as we can find).

I do support increased workers visas, increased legal immigration and increasing the INS and other necessary programs to allow people to come to the United States.

I do support an increased border patrol capability complete with additional, up manned out posts, QRF capabilities (including helicopters, UAVs, and tactically capable forces - when I say "tactically" I don't mean "shoot'em up", but as in capable of maneuvering, flanking and interdicting with enough force to render movement of illegal crossers of all stripes moot).

Here's how I see the wall...

(continued in flash traffic)

Flash Traffic (extended entry) Follows... �

Reporting As Ordered, Sir! �