We're the Military and Airpower Guys of Jonah Goldberg of National Review Online + a stray we found wandering around looking lost. All original material JHD, BHD, JR, WT, and KA 2003-2010 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html Thu, 21 Jan 2010 16:28:52 Z Movable Type 4.12 en Copyright 2010 http://www.rssboard.org/rss-specification FM 3-0 for SAMS Students. Given the post below this one - I'm thinking Ralph Peters would approve this version. Table of Contents Introduction………………………………………………………2 Text……………………………………………………………………..3 Glossary………………………………………………………………...5 Introduction You are students. This means you are supposed to learn things. Read this and learn it. There will be a test. There are only two grades…”win”, or “lose”. Come back with your shield, or on it. I.M. Mean General Soldier in Chief The rest is in the Flash Traffic/Extended Entry - including a link to a .pdf version you can send to all your friends [Wait! Don't do that! Send them a... http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html Fri, 28 Dec 2007 11:16:18 -0600 The inevitable end: O.K. lets all agree to just disagree and stop this frivilous blue on blue fire-fight. Lets rack it up as follows: The rules: 1. 1st come, 1st served to whack bad guys. 2. Whacking Bad Guys is always 1st. 3. 1st whack a bad guy, then whack his buddy bad guy #2. 4. Whack #2's Bad Guys Dog. 5. One whack, One kill. 6. One good whack deserves another. see rule #3. 7. Whack 1st, and Whack hard. 8. Whacks make loud noises, be prepared to receive incoming return whacks. 9. Keep your finger straight and off the trigger until you are ready to whack. 10. Whether its Marines, Army, AirForce, Navy, Coastguard, Cladenstine services Whacking see Rule #1. Got it? you to old timers we might need you someday to help follow through on rules 1-10, and get back to whacking like you came through before during your time (Thanks by the way!!!) I just want everyone ready to whack! We don't need verbal firefights here, mean looks never whacked anyone. ---The Gunny--- http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-68224 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-68224 Thu, 03 Jan 2008 00:35:48 -0600 (Note: Substitute following in Marine edition of manual) Army: Soldiers who are not part of the Corps. Whack the same bad people in the same way as the Marines. The difference between Army soldiers and Marines: Army soldiers don't know the right terminology as delivered to Good Marines in boot camp and beyond by the Corps. Things you were punished for saying they will say in ignorance. Some of them will try hard, but they did not have the loving tutelage of the Corps and will say it wrong. Be patient with them. Whoever is on the scene, Marines or Army, gets first dibs on whacking the bad people. Whacking bad people is good, and makes Army soldiers less cranky. Hooah: What Army soldiers say instead of Semper Fi. http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-68211 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-68211 Wed, 02 Jan 2008 11:06:04 -0600 Marines: Soldiers who are part of the Navy. Whack the same bad people in the same way as Army soldiers. The difference between Marines and Army soldiers: Marines speak a different language from Army soldiers. They get upset if you don't use their language speaking to them or about them. Whatever you say, however you say it, will be wrong. Don't worry about this. Whoever is on the scene, Marines or Army, gets first dibs on whacking the bad people. Whacking bad people is good, and makes Marines less cranky. Semper Fi: Marine for "Hooah" http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-68205 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-68205 Wed, 02 Jan 2008 02:19:17 -0600 The Marines were included. Aren't they part of the Navy? I mean the Navy is really cool. It has ships. Its own air force and its own ground pounders. Plus submarines. One stop shopping. Semper Fi. From an old Navy Rod Yanker - Tonkin Gulf Yacht Club '66. http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-68101 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-68101 Mon, 31 Dec 2007 04:01:01 -0600 Great post "Rambo was really was a Marine", or should I say "The Gunny". The only reason I got over-exuberant, I've had a friend for a few years now bragging up the Army and putting down the Marines. For the most part I blew him off, but the other day it rubbed me the wrong way on something he said. He got an ear full, and so did y'all. For that I apologize. http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-68099 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-68099 Sun, 30 Dec 2007 23:42:28 -0600 Fabulous FM! when common sense has had its perimeter breached by acronyms so some desk jocky in D.C. or Fobbit in Iraq gets his medal for being on the forward edge on the Global War on Terrorism by word mixing, this is an added relief! As far as whether the FM using soldier or Marine, sailor, or Fly boy, its all symantics to me. One team, One fight. I pulled trigger next to a Soldier and Navy corpsman in Iraq and it didn't matter as long as it was an American next to me making the enemy deader, and i got home to eat moms' apple-pie. Besides in the end, your bugler standing over your grave playing TAPS is going to sound like my bugler standing over mine playing TAPS. Good read! keep up the sanity check men! ---The Gunny--- http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-68096 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-68096 Sun, 30 Dec 2007 22:07:03 -0600 Samir - I need to change the comment template - the only person who gets email data is me, the site owner. But it doesn't say that. My bad. http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-68076 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-68076 Sun, 30 Dec 2007 10:12:04 -0600 You forgot the principle of "Boot, don't spatter!" http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-68075 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-68075 Sun, 30 Dec 2007 10:12:02 -0600 Harry Truman was ok, but he wasn't always correct. http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-68074 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-68074 Sun, 30 Dec 2007 10:05:03 -0600 It's real obvious to me that the folks at Benning's Building One weren't consulted on this. http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-68072 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-68072 Sun, 30 Dec 2007 08:54:27 -0600 I believe the Marines were mentioned - they are part of the Navy, yes? http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-68070 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-68070 Sun, 30 Dec 2007 08:27:59 -0600 How can a post about a comic version of an FM (Field Manual)degrade into discussion about how great my service (that is not the ARMY) is? Believe me the USMC gets enough face time without someone whining because a fake FM doesn't mention them...good grief get over yourself. Whoever did that PUB did an outstanding job...funny stuff. THANKS FOR THE LINK TO THE PDF! Now to stir the pot, President Harry S. Truman said this about the USMC; "The Marine Corps is the Navy's police force and as long as I am President that is what it will remain. They have a propaganda machine that is almost equal to Stalin's." http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-68069 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-68069 Sun, 30 Dec 2007 08:15:21 -0600 Well Done. Approved for promulgation. Now us dumb ole Navy types can actually understand what all that fuss is about. Back to my casualty drills. Gotta spend my time practicing fires and floodings. You Army guys get all the credit for winning. We'll take all the dames. Good post, John. I loved it. Subsunk http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-68068 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-68068 Sun, 30 Dec 2007 05:13:43 -0600 http://www.cnn.com/SPECIALS/2003/iraq/forces/casualties/interactive/]]> http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-68067 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-68067 Sun, 30 Dec 2007 04:07:40 -0600 Hey, I like the Army. We're on the same side. The USMC just had their 232 birthday, not the 231st. http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-68066 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-68066 Sun, 30 Dec 2007 04:03:00 -0600 The Marines are elite. Army's lead? LOL Then tell me "why" Ft. Knox, an Army fort, is guarded by Marines? I think you'd better re-think the arrogant statement of the Army leading the way. Marines are "first to fight", not the Army. Right now in Iraq, the Marines have had the hardest fighting, but yet the least casualties. http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-68065 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-68065 Sun, 30 Dec 2007 03:45:52 -0600 As with all good humor, it has more than a little bit of truth behind it. The reason that Marines are not explicitly mentioned, is because they always adopt whatever they like from the Army, so they are mentioned by default. "The Marines are all right, been following the Army's lead for 231 years now." (Quoting myself) http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-68064 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-68064 Sun, 30 Dec 2007 00:59:43 -0600 You forgot a group of awesome men and women that whack major bad dude butt. Civies know them as Marines. http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-68059 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-68059 Sat, 29 Dec 2007 21:45:36 -0600 John of Argghhh, I don't usually leave contact info because I might be seen as unpatriotic by leaving anti-government comments and I used to get a lot of hate mail for speaking my mind. Peace! http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-68058 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-68058 Sat, 29 Dec 2007 21:23:53 -0600 From the Air Force, with love. http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-68054 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-68054 Sat, 29 Dec 2007 18:23:03 -0600 Love you and Blackfive - excellent post/fm edition. Vet from the '80's - no combat. Love you guys and support you all! http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-68053 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-68053 Sat, 29 Dec 2007 17:57:37 -0600 Sgt. Grumpy, Please tell me, are you suggesting that this is something remotely like "common sense?" If ro, I fully agree. You might want to contact JAG, we would to make sure this is UCMJ compliant. I fully agree with ALL of the commenters. I am not you. I am just a "Grumpy old disabled Vet" Grumpy http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-68050 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-68050 Sat, 29 Dec 2007 16:18:46 -0600 Effing hilarious! I sent it to my friend a sergeant major in Iraq. http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-68047 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-68047 Sat, 29 Dec 2007 15:02:23 -0600 CI Guy - Don't remember Dave the FA Guy, but if you're thinking of Travis Patriquin's "How to Win In Al Anbar", he of course was killed just over a year ago, God rest his soul. http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-68046 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-68046 Sat, 29 Dec 2007 14:47:48 -0600 Excellent, but doesn't mention the Marines. I guess that means if all else fails, break glass only in case of emergency. http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-68045 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-68045 Sat, 29 Dec 2007 14:25:33 -0600 JarJar, I'm guessing you don't hang out much with 1st Responder types, either, if you don't get the ironic humor here. Hint: You won't like them, either. And how come people who comment like that almost *never* leave valid contact info? 8^ ) http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-68043 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-68043 Sat, 29 Dec 2007 14:03:20 -0600 ROFLMAO! Every Army FM should be written like this - then the Generals could spend more time running the war, and the rest of us would know what the hell the FM was trying to say! http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-68042 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-68042 Sat, 29 Dec 2007 13:45:58 -0600 Sherlock- Media Relations: lying with a smile as well as a patsy lined up to take the heat. Thank you. I loved the post. http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-68041 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-68041 Sat, 29 Dec 2007 13:33:39 -0600 Challenge: Include a definition of "Media Relations" without employing the term "Scumsucking". http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-68039 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-68039 Sat, 29 Dec 2007 13:19:09 -0600 The best of good whacking: Manuals for dummies including apologizing, missionary positions, and jedi knights. I'm assuming the story about the military dogs' service in operations will be covered in an appendaged version entitled Pepper Squad. Believe me when I say, I love it AS IS! http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-68038 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-68038 Sat, 29 Dec 2007 13:14:47 -0600 Did Dave the FA Guy write or illistrate this? It looks like the drawings from the famous SSO slide show... Thanks MM http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-68036 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-68036 Sat, 29 Dec 2007 13:12:31 -0600 Wow, you can kill people, you are so cool! http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-68035 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-68035 Sat, 29 Dec 2007 13:10:25 -0600 I sent the link on to my good friend who is opposed to the war but serves on the state Draft Board. http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-68034 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-68034 Sat, 29 Dec 2007 12:31:07 -0600 I agree: Colonel Peters would definitely approve. And as a U.S. Army combat veteran of Vietnam, I approve! http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-68029 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-68029 Sat, 29 Dec 2007 11:40:02 -0600 Sometimes, not so bad people accidentally get whacked. More often, some not so bad people claim their cousin got whacked, or their goats got whacked. So we give them a lot of money. This is called "Civil Affairs". Also, sometimes people in suits don't give us money to give to not so bad people who got whacked or claim their cousin got whacked or whose goat stepped on one of Saddam's old landmines. These people are called "Democrats". They need whacked. http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-68028 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-68028 Sat, 29 Dec 2007 11:31:55 -0600 Well researched work you have here, John. Just two suggestions. 1.Where and when do the officers go for their "cranial-rectal extractions?" 2. When picking an op-tempo choose either fast or slow, but under no circumstances choose "half-fast!" Grumpy http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-67996 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-67996 Fri, 28 Dec 2007 13:55:46 -0600 This is the reader's digest condensed version for SAMS students, John. Jedi Knights don't need that stuff. http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-67994 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-67994 Fri, 28 Dec 2007 12:51:55 -0600 Where are the pictures? Powerpoint slides? Cheers http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-67993 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-67993 Fri, 28 Dec 2007 12:36:52 -0600 nihil obstat. publish "as is" (looks like HR McMaster had some input on the final draft) http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-67992 http://www.thedonovan.com/archives/2007/12/doctrine_for_du.html#comment-67992 Fri, 28 Dec 2007 12:09:46 -0600