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Ten Reasons Men Prefer Guns Over Women

(Mind you, this is *NOT* the Armorer's Official Position®! We provide this only to be, um, Fair and Balanced.® Yep, that's it! [The Armorer's Official Position® is in the brackets.]

#10. You can trade an old 44 for a new 22. [This is utterly false. The Armorer never lets go of a weapon once it enters the books. That's why he has a *Collectors* license, not a *Dealer* license. I gather, not disperse.]

#9. You can keep one gun at home and have another for when you're on the road. [Only two? Pikers.]

#8. If you admire a friend's gun and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times. [True. I cultivate those kinds of relationships. It is true for the Armorer, as well.]

#7. Your primary gun doesn't mind if you keep another gun for a backup. [The Armorer doesn't carry. That's what the tank is for. Okay, we don't have a tank. Yet.]

#6. Your gun will stay with you even if you run out of ammo. [True. That's why we get the bayonets. Hate to damage a stock, especially some of the antique stocks in which the wood is a little dry and might snap at the wrist when buttstroking your antagonist.]

#5. A gun doesn't take up a lot of closet space. [Well, one might not, but, well, 30 do.]

#4. Guns function normally every day of the month. [Heh. As long as they've been lovingly cared for, properly lubed, and you feed them right, otherwise they can have... issues. Especially semi-autos.]

#3. A gun doesn't ask, "Do these new grips make me look fat?" [No, in fact many of us like fatter grips. Easier to control the motion of recoil.]

#2. A gun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you use it. [As long as you cleaned it, anyway.]

#1. YOU CAN BUY A SILENCER FOR A GUN [Heh. Not in Kansas you can't. Legally, anyway. And no, I have no idea where to get one illegally. Nor do I intend to make one.]

15 Comments

Aren't bayonets dangerous? Cheers
 
Well, thus far, only to me and my father. At least Dad didn't stick himself.
 
Hey now! I work perfectly well every day of the month.... I just have extra, um.... "lube", for about 5 days. Oh, btw.. I prefer to be cleaned after being used too. ;-)
 
This was just too much fun to let go, so I had to write my own post, Debunking The Armorer. And... I'm challenging Maggie to do the same.
 
WK beat me to the best lines - we truly are sistahs! However, "buttstroking your antagonist"? WTF? I am getting in the shower now.
 
LOLOL... Maggie- you need to read my post. I addressed the "buttstroking" comment there. HAHAHAHAHA I feel so dirty. Fortunately, as John pointed out elsewhere today, baths take care of that.
 
What? Those are the only comments on #4? I'm shocked, shocked, I tell you!
 
WA is even weirder...you can buy and own a silencer, but you can't actually USE one.
 
While my neighbors are not close, a silencer would be *polite* when I decided to run through a box of ammo. And the Exterior Guard would appreciate it, too.
 
HL, that's kinda like fireworks in Ohio. You can make them here, and you can buy them here, but you have to agree to take them out of the state within 24 hours and you're not allowed to use fireworks in-state unless you have a pirotechnics license. But we can buy, own AND use silencers!
 
HL, that's kinda like fireworks in Ohio. You can make them here, and you can buy them here, but you have to agree to take them out of the state within 24 hours and you're not allowed to use fireworks in-state unless you have a pirotechnics license. But we can buy, own AND use silencers!
 
And one thing that a woman and a rifle have in common is that it is extreemly satisfying to "hold them and squeeze them."
 
durn echo. I'm blaming it on Vista, since it seems to be messing up other things for me.
 
OK, as far as #10 goes, this was best answered by Bette Midler as Sohpie Tucker. "I will never forget it. It was on the occasion of Ernie's eightieth birthday and in honor of the occasion he married a twenty year old girl. And he rang me up the very next day and he said to me "Soph, Soph, I have just married myself a twenty year old girl, what do you think of that". And I said to him "Ernie when I am eighty years old I shall marry myself a twenty year old boy, and let me tell you something Ernie twenty goes into eighty a hell of a lot more than eighty goes into twenty." On #9 - I must concur with John's comment. If the Rotation ever gets down to two, please call an ambulance, I have lapsed into a coma. #7, #8 apply to men as well as women. If #6 is a problem for some it simply displays a shocking lack of imagination. #5 - Since when are men concerned about closet space? None of mine are. #4 - If that even SLOWS YOU DOWN, please do not apply for a position in the Rotation. #3 - Oh right, men aren't vain.......comb-over anyone? #2 - LOL, trust me, I'll be asleep first. #1 - Go over to AFSis' place......she had the best answer.
 
hahahaha.... nicely done, Maggie.