Cassie got some mileage from her observations on the inequities -- and possible iniquities -- you can bump into when dealing with The System. Or, more properly, when dealing with the human beings who comprise The System. However, here's a li'l quirky option she didn't consider:

I was at semi-loose ends the first time I got out of the Army (October 1972 -- Stop that! You *know* I'm that old!), so I figured I'd use my GI Bill bennies to add a fixed-wing rating to my helicopter one. I trotted down to the county seat, popped into the courthouse and approached the kiosk with the big red-white-and-blue VA above it.

Me (producing copy of DD-214): "I just got out of the Army and I'd like to apply for my GI Bill benefits."

Kiosk Occupant: "Okay, you must be planning on starting high school in January, because the school year has already started."

Me: "*??* High school? Noooo, I've already got a BA -- I want to go to a flight school and get my fixed wing rating."

KO: "Well, if you've already got a college degree, you're going to have to wait -- we've got guys who haven't even been through high school. We're not committing funds for advanced degrees until we get everybody a high school diploma."

Me: "But I'm not looking for an advanced degree -- I want to go to a civilian flight school."

KO: "Same difference. We're not turning *any* money loose unless it's going for somebody's high school education."

Me: "Okay, so where does that put me on this educational waiting list?"

KO: "At the bottom."

Six months later (same kiosk occupant):

Me: "Hi, I'd like to check on GI Bill funding availability for a civilian flight school."

KO: "Nothing's available. We're not turning *any* money loose unless it's going for somebody's high school education."

One year later (still the same kiosk occupant):

Me: "Hi, I'd like to use my GI Bill to go to a civilian flight school."

KO: "You're out of luck, then. We're not turning *any* money loose unless it's going for somebody's high school education."

So, because I now had a job which had me working 60 hours a week (and on-call on weekends), I put off checking for a few years. Then I fell into a full-time job with the Guard and had even *less* spare time. When I finally got a breather and figured I now had the time to go after a fixed wing rating, I realized that I'd waited too long and had lost my eligibility.

The quirky li'l option I mentioned? Well, it seems the VA kiosk occupant wasn't even a fed from the Veterans' Administration. He was a New Jersey state employee from the Veterans' *Affairs* office and used to hang out in the -- unmanned -- Veterans' *Administration* kiosk. 'Nother words, he was somebody outside the system (or only involved at the periphery) who had a personal agenda.

Why? I'll never know -- he'd been fired a couple of years previously for cause...

...'way before I could get down there with a riot baton to beat the answer out of him.