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A naming contest!

By The Armorer on October 1, 2007 | | Comments (41)

Okay, the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs, Admiral Mullen, has slain the Global War On Terror, much like King Canute tamed the tide.

So - let's have a naming contest.

If it ain' the GWOT, what is it? Mel sent me one suggestion already:

I recommend SCAPEGOAT: Synchronized Combined Arms Police Enforcement on Globally Ominous Agents of Terrorism.

Okay - that'll get you started.

Suggest away!

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41 Comments

By MajMike on October 1, 2007 10:33 AM
"IIWII"... it is what it is.
 
By Patrick Chester on October 1, 2007 10:36 AM
'Global War On Really Bad, Bad Men'
 
By kat-missouri on October 1, 2007 11:08 AM
MEEMO - Middle East Extreme Make Over WARRE - War Against Revisionist Regressive Extremism WASTE - War Against Salafist Terrorist Extremists
 
By NinjaFluff on October 1, 2007 11:56 AM
how about... It's not a GWOT, it's Appropriately Reasoned Goals Given [for] Horrendous [and] Hellacious..... ARGGHHH!! Never mind! (sorry, couldn't resist!) It's a "Glass the Desert" campaign, or how about Operation LAST - "Let Allah Sort Them"?
 
By Q_Mech on October 1, 2007 12:21 PM
How about "Fluffy Bunny Love"? It doesn't stand for anything, I'd just really like to hear the Chairman JCOS prattle on about his success in fighting Fluffy Bunny Love! Or how about the side-campaign HUA - the Hammering of Unacceptable Acronyms? (aka "Head Up Ass")
 
By John of Argghhh! on October 1, 2007 12:35 PM
Q-Mech - I like your line of thought here... Man, if I was Frank J at IMAO, I bet I could really nail it. Ah well.
 
By fdcol63 on October 1, 2007 1:32 PM
DOA - Defense of America
 
By fdcol63 on October 1, 2007 1:36 PM
PSALMS Perpetual Struggle Against Loony MindSets
 
By AFSister on October 1, 2007 1:39 PM
Hello Fellow Americans. I'm coming to you tonight from the Rose Garden to introduce to you the new name of the-war-whose-name-shall-not-be-mentioned. VOLDEMORT. From now on, the-war-whose-name-shall-not-be-mentioned will be referred to as VOLDEMORT. I am in the process of re-titling my closest advisors as well. Condi- you shall now be known as Hermoine. Dick- As my closest advisor and friend, you get stuck with "Ron". My beloved wife, I've officially changed your SS codename to "Jenny", but in private, I will still call you "my hoochy-mama". And finally, Dad, my mentor throughout the years... I hope you don't mind me naming you after a dead guy. *slight chuckle* From now on, I'll be calling you "Dumbledore." And last, but not least, I think it's only fair to name the Dark Lord's right-hand man, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad... "Professor Snape." Thank you for your attention, but I must now return to Hogwarts for the "house cup" award ceremony. It's a really big deal, you know. Be steadfast, my friends... and avoid the Dark Forest. It's off-limits, you know. Good night.
 
By don on October 1, 2007 1:46 PM
How about "War of Capitalist Aggression Under Guise of Combating Terror"?
 
By Q_Mech on October 1, 2007 1:56 PM
Why, no, don. WCAUGCT? That acronym just doesn't make any sense at all. You must be using some other language. Instead, how about War to Protect Humanity, Except for Don Briefed's Sorry Ass Who We're Gonna Hand Over to bin Laden For Kicks? I like that better. It may be a mouthful, but its nice and chewy.
 
By CDR Salamander on October 1, 2007 2:02 PM
Sigh. Just Sigh. First they came for the Long War. How about, "War Against Dhimmitude?"
 
By John of Argghhh! on October 1, 2007 2:41 PM
Frank - DOA? Dead On Arrival, man. Not a good mix. Don! A contrarian voice arriveth! What else ya got? Make it clever, now!
 
By fdcol63 on October 1, 2007 3:56 PM
"Dead On Arrival" John, depends on who's dead on arrival, doesn't it? LOL
 
By kat-missouri on October 1, 2007 4:46 PM
How about the Death to America Tour? Everyone who chants "death to america" has to die. Oh...wait...we'd have to wipe out Don and a third of our own population. I'll try again.
 
By John of Argghhh! on October 1, 2007 4:53 PM
Now let's not pick on Don - he merely offered an opinion, however much it may not be popular with you peasants. Leave your pitchforks in the rack by the door, plz. 8^ )
 
By Buck Sargent on October 1, 2007 5:21 PM
War on Islam. Because let's just face it, that's precisely what it is. Even the soft cuddly Islam that gives the President a warm fuzzy still wants to tell us how to live in our own country. And that alone, is reason enough to open up a can of jihad juice. There should be a statute of limitations on crazy death cult movements. We fight you inconclusively for longer than five years and we start hauling out the A bombs again until someone somewhere cries uncle. Operation Sucks To Be You
 
By Soldier's Dad on October 1, 2007 5:22 PM
Middle East Security Situation....MESS South West Asia Military Project...SWAMP
 
By agip on October 1, 2007 8:04 PM
Acronym for the Offending Acronym AOA Short, sweet, palindromatic.
 
By Swino on October 1, 2007 9:53 PM
How about DROPOBAT...or however it works out... Defeating the Religion Of Peaceniks One Bullet/Bomb ata Time Let's not forget that this is all about the "religion of peace"!!!!!
 
By Wolf Pangloss on October 1, 2007 10:00 PM
How about the War for Oil And we take some darn oil while we're at it. Start with Iraq and Iran's oil and then take Saudi Arabia's. Pump them dry and cut them loose. We could bank it in some dry West Texas oil wells until we need it here. Or Global Counterjihad, to put a real name on it. The dangerous enemy is the Jihad. The problem is that this doesn't pull the NoKors into the name. NK is a terrorist state but not a Jihad state. I could be convinced to vote for Fluffy Bunny Love. Or Invading their Countries, Killing their Leaders, and Converting them to Christianity?
 
By Vigilis on October 1, 2007 10:32 PM
The Mother of All BLT Fights, where BLT stands for Bin Laden Types.
 
By Blackhawk on October 1, 2007 10:47 PM
TWIT. Totally Whipping International Terrorists. Also matches the apparent 'utility' of changing names.
 
By malclave on October 1, 2007 11:28 PM
I suggest "Bob". Like Q_Mech's suggestion, it doesn't stand for anything. But anything can be called "Bob". There's a bridge in Colorado named Bob. Remember the old TV show, Twin Peaks, and who killed Laura Palmer? It was the demon, Bob.
 
By BloodSpite on October 2, 2007 12:39 AM
Strategic Harmonizing of Intelligence and Tactics.
 
By Sly2017 on October 2, 2007 12:34 PM
Like I said over on Cass' piece: Official Homonym We Think Fits, OHWTF, for short. Gives them the future latitude to nickname it anything that fits the meme du joir without all the messy moral implications of taking a stand.
 
By greyhawk on October 2, 2007 12:52 PM
The Big Fight. I've got to fit this thing on personnel evaluations, and Operation IRAQI FREEDOM or The Global War on Terror just take up too much room in a one-line bullet.
 
By Cassandra on October 2, 2007 4:05 PM
How 'bout: "That Groovy Thing We Do?"
 
By AMC on October 2, 2007 4:46 PM
DOCATWFGP Deciding Our Children's And The World's Future Gene Pool I like wafugap part. I sounds like mumbling, like bumbling.
 
By Buck Sargent on October 2, 2007 5:16 PM
Changed my mind, it should be TWOB: The War on Birthdays. On my last tour I was 29 when I left and 31 when I got back. Felt like a time warp. Luckily, I only missed a single year of the wi-fi's. Two in a row with a couple anniversaries thrown in for good measure, I'd still be paying for it. You people with kids, I don't know how you do it. I guess I'll have to find out the hard way.
 
By agip on October 2, 2007 10:22 PM
Yeah, 'Fluffy Bunny Love,' so far I go with that.
 
By MR T's Haircut on October 3, 2007 4:57 AM
I think it is more like the War against the Infidels. (note" we are the Infidels. We are just very slow to pick it up.) We should ask Al and Tali what they call the war against us and we can all get on the same page for the MSM....
 
By MountainRunner on October 3, 2007 10:49 AM
How about "War Against Child Killers And Militants Organized as Loose Entities"? It pulls on the emotions, describes a networked and disparate enemy, and the acronym is descriptive of our strategy: WACK-A-MOLE.
 
By bathandwells on October 3, 2007 11:52 AM
A bit out of left field, but how about: The Tenth Crusade
 
By me on October 3, 2007 12:55 PM
I would pick War on Oil aka "World Oil Takeover" W.O.T. or "Money Making for Weapons Makers" MMWM. C.K. for Countries Killers is good too... WWIII World War III (soon to be, to stop the new dictatorial regime that Bush has brought)... Making War for Peace = F**king for Virginity [Naughty naughty! We don't allow the F-bomb in here. It excites the Net-nanny software and only rarely truly advances the conversation. -the Armorer]
 
By John of Argghhh! on October 3, 2007 1:38 PM
Me - "War on Oil?" that's really Greenpeace and Al Gore, donchathink? World Oil Takeover... yeah, that's working real well for us, but yeah, okay, every war is a war for oil. That's a little tired, all things considered. Now, if you'd said "War To Try To Stabilize Oil Markets" you could at least perhaps have signed Mr. Greenspan up. Money Making For Weapons Makers... again, if we'd *actually* mobilized the industrial base, that one might make sense, but given that the Congress(!) has had to bully the Administration into spending money on armaments and accoutrements, I'm thinking this one isn't working so well for ya, either. Oh, sure, people are making money, but that would have been true regardless. Again, not really appealing. Country Killers. Yeah, right. See "Dresden" "Stalingrad" "Leningrad" "Berlin" "Tokyo" "Nagasaki" Hiroshima" etc, if you want to talk country killing. Scale and perspective can be useful here. And recall, when we showed up, Iraq was pretty much a shell, as Saddam had kept all that Oil For Food money Kofi's son et.al., were providing. WWIII... Well, we could stumble into that as Europe did in 1914, true enough. Dictatorial regime Bush has brought... hmmmmmmm. If Bush is a Dictator, what's, oh, Chavez, et.al.? I see the NYT's has been shuttered, and Senator Reid clapped in irons, and Speaker Pelosi is being held under house arrest while the monks/students are being slaughtered and the tanks are rolling into Prague/San Francisco. I'm thinking - you've never really lived in or under a *real* dictatorship, or you wouldn't be quite so quick to toss the word around. It makes your arguments unserious, too. I could be wrong - you look to be visiting from the Northeast, if you're in Massachusetts you do live in the land of the Oligarchs.
 
By Idiot on October 5, 2007 3:04 PM
GEORGE - Global Effects Of Religious Garbage Everywhere :)
 
By Blade on October 6, 2007 12:00 PM
How about we name it by what it is, who created it and what he will get hit by when the fan finally gets turned on!!! What u say?........BUllSHit
 
By John of Argghhh! on October 6, 2007 1:14 PM
Blade - what happens if Hillary or Obama continues the fight? Because the Admiral's terminology concern *includes* Afstan, Horn of Africa, etc.
 
By Blade on October 6, 2007 2:42 PM
I think Hillary has been chosen and she will continue the eternal battle because we will have attacked Iran before she takes office, unless a very strong military leader can stop it all!! I can always hope, huh???
 
By John of Argghhh! on October 7, 2007 6:51 AM
Blade, coupla things. 1. What do you mean by "chosen"? 2. Are you essentially suggesting a revolt of the Generals? 3. If the answer to 2 is "yes" are you prepared for the consequences of that?