previous post next post  

This could be one reason why the Castle isn't in a home owners association

By The Armorer on September 22, 2007 | | Comments (9)

Murray has a kindred soul. somewhere.

Randy K found this thread over at Fark. He sent it to me under the cover of the title of this post:

Here's a fair amount of a letter I got today. I edited it and trimmed it a little but here is the gist of what was in there.


Dear Mr. XXXXXXXXX

Pursuant to your previous correspondences, we would like to respond to your current request to build a "trebuchet". If you would examine the covenant that you signed when you joined the homeowner's association you will clearly see that homeowners are forbidden to construct any of the following without permission:

Destructive Devices
Fences
Pools
Outdoor Shelters
Garages
Decks

Because there is potential need for a clarification of what a "Destructive Device" could be, the accepted definition for the covenant is defined as, but not limited to:

Tire spikes
Razor Wire installed anywhere
Traps of any kind
Any device that could potentially cause irreparable damage to property

For this reason we cannot approve your request to build a "trebuchet" on your property. Please be advised that you were given similar notification when you requested to build a medieval siege engine and moat.

We would also appreciate it if you cease writing requests to build any form of ancient weaponry either for personal use of as you have termed it "neighborhood enrichment." The homeowner's association has no plans now or in the future to permit the construction of any of the requested items you have proposed.

Indeed.

The Castillo Nuevo is a motte-and-bailey style edifice, while thus far the curtain wall is a palisade, it is such only in that it's a bunch of wood poles standing upright, with branches and leaves, and still rooted in the ground.

There is a moat, however. And I have contracted with a sign company for some custom signage.

It will read:

WARNING!

DO NOT FEED THE MOAT MONSTER!

(trespassers excepted)

Share This Article:

Categories:

9 Comments

By Oldloadr on September 22, 2007 9:01 AM
Of course, my redneck mind has to ask: Why would anybody (especially anybody who holds the views of the world commonly expressed on this blog) buy a house in a neighborhood where homeowner associations exist? Are there now parts of this country so controlled that these control-freak neighborhoods are unavoidable?
 
By bthun on September 22, 2007 12:02 PM
LOL! When I was working in DC long ago and far away, I sold a perfectly functional town house in Laurel, Md. based on my desire to move to the country and be a bit closer to the eastern shore. So in October of 1987, just before the 19th of October(black Monday in the markets), I bought a nice new house in a new development in Waldorf, Md. It was constructed with 2x6 framing along with a lot of nice features, plus it was designed in a pseudo-Victorian style that made the wife very happy. Now being a redneck myself, I had no inkling of the power of the dark side. The home owner's association. The jumbo fly in the ointment. One Saturday morning after having lived in the house for a few months (it was one of three houses accessed via a one lane blacktop, which itself was off of a cul-de-sac at the hind-most end of the proposed development) I found a woman with a clipboard in my back yard. She wasted no time in telling me that my child's swing-set and my wood crib, which by this time contained two cords of split oak stacked, covered and drying for the next winter, had not been approved by the association and would have to come down. Neither the swing-set or the wood crib could be seen unless from the air, or by walking around my house to get into the back yard which abutted a large wooded parcel of land owned by a nice, old, gentleman farmer. Well after issuing her edicts to amend my back yard configuration, she then began to survey the plants and various attempts we had made towards landscaping. My surprise and stunned amazement wore off and I strongly suggested that the lady should leave my property before I found my wheelbarrow and gave her a lift to the property line. Thus the battle of certified, notarized, and letters which were sometimes crafted by a legal-widget was engaged. When the dust settled, I had decided to sell. I should admit that I owe that home owner's association and that clipboard equipped snoop of a lady a thank you for two reasons. Upon selling the house, I realized approximately a 75% profit on my investment in the house which turned over in under 18 months. And from that time forward, I would never again look at a prospective property with a covenant or any other sort of association. NIMBY indeed.
 
By Randy K on September 22, 2007 12:40 PM
Are there now parts of this country so controlled that these control-freak neighborhoods are unavoidable?
I don't live in a HOA myself, however HOA are a frequent discussion on Fark. What I’m been able to find from the collective wisdom of Fark is this: HOA are created a lot of times by the community developer, some even required by law. The reason for this seems to be to allow the developer some control over the development until most (80%-90%) of it is sold. Once the developer sells enough in some cases the HOA is dissolved and in others turned over to the community. As I said, this knowledge was gleaned from Fark… YMWV. The most important thing I've taken from all this is no HOA for me.
 
By BillT on September 22, 2007 2:58 PM
Once the developer sells enough in some cases the HOA is dissolved and in others turned over to the community. And in others, the little commissars with clipboards are free-range. Last year, when I was installing irrigation systems, I ran afoul of one. My guess is that they will never, ever assume that someone power-augering a hole next to a house is the owner of that house and launch into a tirade about "Saturday morning quiet time" -- at 11:30am...
 
By bthun on September 22, 2007 3:45 PM
You've got that right BillT, they are Borg... We had some folks in our little community (in the N. Ga. sticks) a few years back wanting to form an association in order to fund and maintain 'common areas'. Now bear in mind that these common areas were within the property lines of some of the agitating home owner's who apparently wanted to solicit a little communal funding for maintenance of these areas. Brass... I had to clearly and plainly state that not only would I not agree to the formation of an HOA, but that I would oppose, in court if necessary, any move to form an HOA. They almost forced my to buy a junked pickup and put it up on blocks in the front yard, just for GP. =8^}
 
By BillT on September 22, 2007 7:18 PM
They almost forced my to buy a junked pickup and put it up on blocks in the front yard Oh, yeah -- then fill the rear with loam, plant sunflowers and call it a post-industrial raised-bed sculpture. Tell them it's your contribution to neighborhood beautification and then refuse to pony up for mere bourgeoise maintenance. Then don't mow the lawn for a month -- tell 'em you're establishing a nature conservency...
 
By bthun on September 22, 2007 8:07 PM
"Then don't mow the lawn for a month -- tell 'em you're establishing a nature conservency..."
Heheh. Not too long before this HOA formation uprising, approximately 30 head of cattle escaped the back pasture and decided to make my nicely cut and edged lawns a nature conservancy. Ok, make that an extension of the pasture they had just escaped. Greener grass and all that no doubt. But I think what really cooked the wannabe junior HOA brigade's geese was the time I hauled in a 6x12x3 trailer load of dried chicken litter to amend the soil in my flower gardens. Guess that took me out of the running for the Bourgeois Pig of the Month Club.
 
By Trias on September 23, 2007 3:43 AM
In accordance with Godwin's Law i must say why have one big Fuhrer when petty 'community' Fuhrers can suffice? Or do I actually have to say the word Hitler? Isn't there a saying that the smaller the power the more ruthlessly the petty shall wield it?
 
By Murray on September 23, 2007 10:04 PM
We don't have HOA's here. Well none that have been willing enough to brave the artillery of Dolphin Foundry which resides on my front porch anyway.
 
© 2008 John Donovan
All rights reserved.