...our Man in the 'Stan is heading home, leaving us uncovered in the 'Stan as Mr. T's Haircut goes through the "Get Ready To Deploy" process.
Okay - Mr. T's Haircut needs to read this next bit closely, as he's my next hope of scoring cheap iron from the 'Stan... No, of course not, people - that's not my prime reason, it's getting the stories out! If I can get a historical artifact out (that isn't a significant component of the Afghan National Heritage, we're not Looters here) that's just gravy. Okay, it ain't reason number 1, but I'll admit to reason number 1.0000000000000000000000000000000001. And since I'm 0 for 2 with Afghan correspondents... you can see how hard the pressure I put on people is...
How To Get Your Pistol Home From Afghanistan.
Xenophon had his Anabasis, Sir John Moore the retreat to Corunna, and Sherman the March to the Sea. Me? I get to spend most of the morning traipsing around Camp Eggers trying to mail a pistol home.First stop is legal, where it turns out that they only do customs forms for weapons between 0900 and 1000. I missed that window, but as I was an officer who had to walk over from ISAF, and they were doing absolutely nothing, I got in. Once there I get into a discussion about antique weapon exemptions to the Gun Control Act, black powder cartridges and spend a considerable amount of time convincing the lawyers that .476 Enfield fits the “if cartridge, a caliber not common to the United States” exemption clause. I survive and get the paperwork.
Second is the MP office. They take a look at it and say I can’t send a weapon home that doesn’t have the date stamped on it. They suggest that I take it back to the guy I bought it from to have it stamped. After a rather dejected lunch, I start looking over the pistol to see if the date is hidden anywhere. Now on the back face of the cylinder is a proof mark. Proof marks are tapped onto any gun that has been tested by the military prior to service. This one consists of a tiny crown and yes, the date. Now the cops, unlike the lawyers, aren’t looking for a reason to deny my request, so after a brief explanation of why the paperwork says 1881 (date the model was admitted to service ) and the gun says 1886 (date of manufacture) I get stamped and off we go, only to find out the post office is on lunch break.
So we tramp back across base for a cup of coffee, and then back to the post office with my four copies of the forms. Now I had heard horror stories about having to pack and repack boxes to get this accepted by the post master, but this went fairly smoothly. They gave me a box and said it had to be wrapped completely in brown paper. “Like a Christmas present” he says (and anyone who has ever seen me wrap a Christmas present is laughing right now.)
Anyway success. Two things that were going through my mind were: Uncle Joe never went through this to bring his Luger back from the ETO, and what use was it voting for Republicans all my life if I can’t just mail a gun back from a war zone? Where are we, Canada?
Two things that were going through my mind were: Uncle Joe never went through this to bring his Luger back from the ETO, and what use was it voting for Republicans all my life if I can’t just mail a gun back from a war zone? Where are we, Canada?
I'm thinking *that* goes in the Notable Quotes section of the sidebar...
Finally, Coda to Joe's tale of this trip to the Sandbox:
Well folks its been a fun couple of months but I will be on the plane home in two days. In fact I probably won’t be on this email again.It’s been a fascinating, frustrating and fun time working in a NATO command. My roommate came up with a fitting description: “It’s just like an isosceles triangle, but it has four sides.” Anyone who is used to the US way of war is dumbfounded by the staff practices and chain of command in this headquarters. Bu once you get used to the differences, they are a professional bunch, and most have been around the block here before, or in places like Bosnia and can get the job done.
When I left home my kids asked why I had to leave. I didn’t talk about operational net assessment, or planning cycles or measures of effectiveness,. I said “there are bad men in Afghanistan who like hurting kids and daddy is going to help the people that are trying to stop them.”
I still feel that’s the mission here and it’s a noble one. I don’t think anyone can “fix” Afghanistan but the Afghans themselves, but they can’t do that until the really evil people here who do like killing innocents either die or have a change of heart. We might not always do the right thing over here, or do it very well, but NATO’s heart is in the right place.
Thanks for everything. I’ve enjoyed the chance to send these updates and it kept me connected to the outside.
I’ll see you when I get home.
On the plus side, Joe may get back into the "Motivators" business...
BZ, Sailor. Fair wind and following seas on the voyage home!
2 Comments