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What famous movie/TV character is your boss?

One of the projects I'm working on is an analytical effort supporting Army experimentation that will take place over the coming year. One of the things you've got to get done early - and well - are setting your objectives, from that developing the issues, from that decomposing your essential elements of analysis, then your measures of performance and merit, etc. Parallel and in conjunction, all of that helps you define your venues, participants, and how you are going to generate and collect all your data. All of which wraps up into a product called the Data Collection Management Plan. Thank heavens I'm not in charge of it - but I'm on the team that's developing it. I'm also helping in the parallel efforts of scenario design and models and sims support.

All this means meetings. Meetings with smart, very experienced people of diverse backgrounds, from warfighter commanders and operators, to math geeks, to academics.

Meeting after meeting after meeting after meeting of smart, type-A personalities, each and every one of us capable of a detailed-in-the-minutiae discussion of how many angels will dance on the head of that pin.

I don't envy my colleague who has to herd these cats.

Some of this is *hard*. We'll sit there, seeming victims of a Harry Potter-esque "Stupefy" spell, all anxiously waiting for someone else to drag us back from the precipice. Well, that's early in the meeting. Later in the meeting you can hear the conductor in the background yelling "Boaaaard! Last call for the bus to Abilene!"...

Yesterday, in the DCMP meeting, we were discussing differences in commanders and how they gather, analyze, and act on information, and how that relates to what data they need and how it needs to be presented to them. We were talking about explicit and implicit knowledge, and where a commander's knowledge of his subordinates came into play in that context.

It was one of those precipice moments.

And one of us suggested (tongue-in-cheek) that the way to get to that particular element was to bring in a division commander and his brigade and battalion commanders... and run a seminar along the lines of "The Apprentice."

Whereupon someone else noted - "I worked for a commander like Trump - he'd point to you in a staff meeting and say, "You're Fired!"

Heh. After noting that I too had worked for a commander like that - I added that I had also worked for the Dread Pirate Roberts - a commander who said the equivalent of "Well enough for today John. I'll likely kill you in the morning."

So - what famous/infamous/funny cultural characters have *You* worked for?

6 Comments

I worked for Captain Jack Sparrow. He was always hatching hair brained schemes, counting his squabs before they hatched, hitting on the women and some how, always came out on top. That is, until one day, the dreaded Davey Jones rose out of the sea and said, "your fired!" I think I worked for Harvey the Invisible Rabbit, too. Never had his door open. Always heard him talking to somebody, but no idea who and everybody gave him credit for things he couldn't possibly have done because he was invisible! And golum. I worked for golum once. He definitely had a tendency to be bent over some statistical reports and operational plans whispering, "my precious". And he did not like to share. Occasionally he would try to push people over the edge or beat them to death with a rock. Oh..then there was the nerdy, talky guy that reminded me of the accountant in "Ghostbusters". You know the one that was the "key master"? Always trying to win people over with some nifty sales pitch or party while simultaneously calculating the cost and looking for the least expensive (need I say "cheap"?) way to do things. He never could figure out why no one wanted to hang out with him.
 
I worked *with* a fellow commander who was Doctor Peter Venkman. Always a hare-brained idea he couldn't quite pull off, as it went bad in some bizarre fashion.
 
Well, my first battalion commander loved giving creatively profane motivational speeches to the whole battalion. At his Farewell, we ran the opening sequence of 'Patton' whilst roasting him.
 
I once worked for a "continued Major" who our Chief refered to as the "Mystery Guest," but the rest of us called him "Sybil." Some days he would be at work an hour before the morning staff meeting (that he chaired, BTW) and yelling at anybody who got in his way about just about anything; he particularly liked to chew out the Captain who ran the bomb dump in public. He once chewed my a$$ because His desk was a mess. Other days, he would come in an hour late in a uniform that it looked like he had slept in and didn't give a sh*t about anything.
 
A hybrid of Niccolo Machiavelli and Temujin. Minus their sense of humor...
 
My last boss was so much like Kramer that my co-worker and I actually called him that on many occassions. He'd bust through the door, look around, shifting his eyes; mouth slightly agap, and then say "DBIE! I need.... blahblahblah" pretty funny.
 
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