Oh my, where to begin?

Barbara Miner, a writer in Milwaukee, takes a walk down the dark street of gun-ownership, in an angst-ridden yuppie fashion. She does have flashes of insight.

I'm sitting at my desk, staring at my new Glock 19 semiautomatic 9mm handgun. The kind that [He Who Shall Not Be Named] used in his rampage at Virginia Tech.

I am scared of the gun.

But I am also fascinated.

I allow the fascination to run free, and I conjure up Hollywood fantasies of revenge and respect. A small, gray-haired woman, I imagine myself walking city streets and saying to any hulking guy who gets in my way, "Don't mess with me, I have a gun."

Respect the gun, Barb. Don't be afraid of it. Really, it won't hurt you if you respect it. I'm sitting in front of a rack of rifles, with bayonets affixed, and or grenade launchers on 'em. And there's a pistol and a carbine to my right.

And they don't do anything scary other than sit there. Oh, I handle 'em, and I shoot 'em, too. But they don't call out to me. Nor do they sit there, malevolent. They just... sit there. You're overthinking this, ma'am.

I look at the Glock, and it's hard not to appreciate its beauty, its sleek and economical design. I want to pick it up, feel its heft, admire its power.

There's another difference between you and I. Glocks are ugly. And 9mm pistols aren't powerful, to me. But then, I suspect you're as much into the perceived metaphysical power as you are into stopping power.

And then I remember its purpose: to kill. And I'm not talking deer or rabbits, because a rifle is better suited for that.

No, there's little reason to own a Glock unless you intend to kill people.

No, it just... is. Purpose is what *you* put it to. It's an important distinction. You are ascribing to the gun something that exists in the person. Which then leads to the problem of controlling the wrong thing. I know that argument drives gun-grabbers crazy, but it's the crux of the matter. It's why Britain's efforts at gun control, while reducing to some extent their deaths from firearms (never large to begin with) have had zero effect on the problem of violent crime. Because they are focusing on the tools, patting themselves on the back at having "done something" and not tackling the much harder issues of why people misuse the tools.

Drunk-driving education and law enforcement has had a better effect on reducing drunk driving deaths (in addition to safer cars and better roads) than attacking distilling/brewing or car manufacturers - because the problem is behavioral.

Hence, I counter that education (Eddie Eagle anyone?) and law enforcement, being aimed more at behaviors, will do more to counter gun violence than trying to ban something that is, in a sense, so ubiquitous as to be pointless to ban. You want to push a real sharp drop in gun violence - deal with the gangs and gang warfare that produce most of it. But that would entail having to take a good look at our drug laws... and all that is hard, so, let's just ban guns and say we did something. Silly approach. Just look at Britain.

I come to my senses and tell myself, "I bought a semiautomatic handgun. This is nuts."

I am torn by these conflicting emotions and wonder if this is how it begins, the crazy addiction to guns that captivates so many people in this country. Will I be seduced by rhetoric from the National Rifle Association? Will I start talking about the right to carry a concealed weapon?

Since you bought the gun as a social experiment, I would suggest that for you, yes, perhaps it *is* nuts. I think you're safe from the NRA. I really do. I'm a member and in a sense I'm safe from them. And, oddly enough, I don't pack heat, either. Though I might, on the new property, until I get a sense where the snakes hang out.

I thought about buying a gun after [He Who Shall Not Be Named} rampage at Virginia Tech and in anticipation of another long, hot and dangerous summer in Milwaukee. How easy, I wondered, is it to get a gun in Milwaukee?

The answer is that it is absurdly easy - easier, in fact, than getting rid of the half-used cans of paint in my basement.

Heh. That's because you're a... law abiding citizen. And you don't appreciate the infrastructure set up to facilitate your legal purchase. In a sense, ma'am - that's how it should be.

I knew that Badger Outdoors in West Milwaukee was a good place to buy a gun. Among its claims to fame, federal authorities cited Badger Outdoors as the top store in the country in 2005 for selling guns recovered by police after being used in a crime.

Nice little tosser in there, ma'am, and somewhat ambiguous. On the one hand I would note, based on the english of your statement - they were selling legal guns, legally. They just sourced them from police departments who were apparently selling off contraband, legally. Or did you mean cited Badger Outdoors as the top store in the country in 2005 for selling guns later recovered by police after being used in a crime. That one word would make a difference. I'm too lazy to look it up right now, admittedly - but since you were the one who wrote the piece, one would think the onus for accuracy was on you. I'm just asking the question.

I brought along a friend who looks like a cop (why that would make me feel more comfortable in a gun store, I am not sure) and who knows about guns. I figured he could help out if I was grilled about why I wanted a gun or if I knew how to use one.

My fears were groundless. Badger Outdoors is in business to sell guns, not to quiz customers on their motives or competency.

Just as it's not the car dealership's job to determine your motives or competency. It's the state's job - which will be addressed later in the process, eh? Well, setting those conditions is the state's job. I don't think the prior-restraint aspect of motive is the state's job.

The sales rep, who wore a loaded Glock and proudly showed it to us, asked a few questions about what I wanted.

He mentioned that if I had children in the home, I should keep the Glock's 15-bullet clip separate from the gun. Other than that, no one said much about safety precautions.

Well, there's literature that accompanies the weapon, ma'am, that talks about things like that. And all you had to do was... *ask*. You really think this is all someone else's responsibility, don't you? And it's a farging magazine, not a clip, but that's just a personal thing of mine.

Being in awe of my soon-to-be-purchased Glock, I probably would have left without trying the gun if my friend hadn't encouraged me to shoot a few rounds at the firing range in the back of the store.

Given the choice between the traditional bull's-eye target and a mock human being, we chose the person. In for a dime, in for a dollar, I figured.

Oh, there we go betraying our prejudices ma'am.

Once in the range, I loaded the bullets into the clip, put in my earplugs and shot 13 rounds. Unexpectedly, I hit the chest or head on all but a couple of shots.

I felt cool. I was proud.

Heh. If I'm shooting at a man-sized silhouette on a pistol range, I'd just as soon they were *all* in the target, before I'd be "proud". I'm surprised you weren't consumed with angst over how many small children you might have hit in your 'hood with those misses.

I realized how effortless it is to get carried away by the excitement of owning and shooting a gun.

Luckily, my husband brought me back to reality. When I got home and showed him the bullet-riddled target, his response was, "Oh, great. You killed somebody."

If you were legally defending yourself, that is a positive statement. If you weren't, well, then you're a criminal. But the gun didn't have anything to do with it. Your decisions and actions did.

To buy a handgun, one has to pass a cursory background check that mostly involves whether one is a felon. That and a 48-hour waiting period are the only requirements in Wisconsin. No license, no registration, no gun safety course.

Well, it's only cursory if you're *not* a felon, and if you have no misdemeanor disqualifications and if NICS is up and running properly. Which is kinda the point. Of course, it does also assume that you provided legal and accurate identification and that you didn't lie on the Form 4473 you filled out, either. In other words... you're a law abiding citizen.

After the two days, I returned to pick up my Glock. This time, the nervousness of buying a gun almost over, I noticed the stickers throughout the store, such as the one that says, "Fight Crime. Shoot Back."

I also took a closer look at the submachine guns on the wall behind the counter, realizing that I probably could have bought one of those if I had wanted.

Yes, if Wisconsin law allows, and you went through the months long local-through-Federal approvals process, submitted fingerprints and paid for the $200 tax stamp and any other associated costs and then paid the *thousands* one of those things cost. But nice trick there, just tossing it off that those are just as easy to buy as a pistol is. Because trust me, they aren't.

I decided not to shoot a few rounds at the range. Maybe it was the submachine guns or maybe it was the stickers, but I had had enough of the gun culture for one week.

Heh. Snob.

Now that I have my Glock, the question is, what do I do with it? Part of me thinks it would be neat to become an ace shot.

But a more sober voice tells me that the sooner I get the gun out of the house, the safer I will be.

Right. Because if you store it properly, it's going to push it's way out and start stalking people. There are a *lot* of weapons in the Castle ma'am - that haven't shot anyone for decades. There is *one* bayonet, however...

But how does one get rid of a gun? It's not like I can throw my Glock in with old dishes and outdated sports equipment and hold a garage sale.

One calls the police, and gives it to them. One takes it back to where you bought it, and see if they'll buy it back (note - you're gonna lose money). Take it to some other lawful storefront dealer and sell it to them (note - you're gonna lose money). See, it's not hard.

The more vexing question is, do I really want to get rid of my Glock?

I am not sure I want to probe that question too deeply. It would have been much better if I had never bought the gun, if someone, somewhere, had made it even a little bit difficult.

Ah! Help me! Save me from myself! Grow up, ma'am. Just put on your adult pants. Jeez, this is painful.

Nearly 12,000 people are murdered by guns in this country every year, on top of the roughly 17,500 suicides by firearms, according to the World Health Organization and its 2002 "World Report on Violence and Health."

I know that issues of violence are complicated and that unemployment, drugs and gangs are huge factors.

England is no stranger to such social problems. Yet it has strict gun control laws, and the WHO report listed it with only 23 gun-related homicides. In Japan, the figure was 22.

By international standards, Milwaukee is a war zone, its gun-related murders dwarfing the figures for many entire countries in the industrialized world.

The sad reality is that it remains outrageously simple to buy a semiautomatic handgun in this city. Even sadder, the youth of Milwaukee are paying with their lives for our refusal to legislate gun control.

How many of those guns being used in your Milwaukee gang wars were obtained legally? I think that would be useful to know, wouldn't it.

Because if any of those kids are under the age of 21... well, that's not legal. So, obviously, more gun laws will help that.

I know how easy it is to buy a handgun. I just did it.

And you probably shouldn't have, given that you bought it for all the wrong reasons. And even after having done it - you are, well, appallingly ignorant, for all the statistics you tossed out at the end.

And those are a post for a different time.